12. SELF-AWARE

People are called human beings, as in a noun. In order to be a human-being, you have to be a human, but in order to be humane, you don't need to be a human-being. Funny, little differences, but people can't seem to understand the difference.

Amber thought she was cool, bringing back the source of their family's problems to Syville. She thought it was a good revenge for what's ahead.

Backing away from her sister was best. Not commenting on the new style of hair she has, and not going to try and do anything, and not even going to talk to her.

Revenge, she thought, was at its finest.

~~~

A few minutes after the phone call with Dave, a knock came on the door. Dave Brooks and his team went in and went to Kimberly. She looked nervous.

"You have been charged of child abuse," said one of the officers, "You will explain your reasons in the police station,"

"And also fake documents and bribes," Jayce added.

Dave narrowed his eyes on his daughter who he only gasped on when he saw her hair, "Jayce, that's enough mess you have caused," he said, "And your hair-"

She ignored him.

Ashton didn't know if he should thank her or not. And by the means of having her be her calm competitor, instead of a toxic one.

"I'll talk to her," Ashton offered.

Dave knew it was the brunette boy they met the first day they arrived at the dorm. He hadn't really liked him, "No, everyone in here will be coming with me to the police station, for statements and clarification,"

Harrison stood at the corner, with an expressionless face of doubt.

"I will not talk until I see my lawyer," Kimberly said firmly, letting her hands get cuffed, and glaring at the three.

Dave and Harrison went out of the room first with the rest, bringing Kimberly along with them.

Jayce was about to walk out when Ashton grabbed her forearm, glaring with threat at her, "What card are you playing at me now?"

"I'm changing the game to a non-toxic one," she casually said.

"The game's still running?"

Jayce would've been crazy, mad, or whatever you called her. She thought of one thing. First was hers and hers only. When Kimberly would've gone to jail, Ashton would've been left with the Walkers, or if they hate him, he would be left with Harrison. But over that, he didn't have pressure anymore and he would do anything in his way, granting Jayce a ticket first.

Still. Toxic.

"My clock's running, Ashton," Jayce said, "With the fact that I'll soon hear that my mother will be out of rehab, and the first person she'll be running and wanting to meet isn't my dad, or Amber, it's me. Because apparently she feels guilty," she stated.

Ashton felt pity over her. He and her, they weren't so different, weren't they?

"Any game you're playing, I wouldn't give a damn anymore," Ashton let go of her arm and walked out.

It wasn't really a game if only one person was playing, wasn't it?

~~~

Kimberly really didn't speak at all. She didn't even open her mouth.

"And how did you find out about any of this?" Dave asked Ashton. They were in his office, "That your dad wasn't Mikael,"

"A feeling," Ashton said, knowing damn well it was a lie. Jayce, Jayce, Jayce, all he could think in his head was that. On how he wanted her to shut up and turn back time.

"A feeling?"

"My father had dark blonde hair, I don't see blonde on me,"

"You took the brunette hair from your mother,"

"But isn't the fact that at least I should have one thing in common with Mikael? I don't even have his hazel eyes,"

"Maybe you took everything from your mother,"

"For goodness sake, isn't it quicker to have a DNA test for this?" Ashton asked, irritated.

"How did you and Jayce both become close?" Dave asked.

"Excuse me?" he flinched.

"As I remember, she hated you so much at first," Dave replied.

"Ask her, she did it all of a sudden,"

"I didn't even know my daughters were living in the lie that their birth mother was Izzie Brooks until this morning,"

Ashton clicked his tongue, "That has no relation to any of this,"

"In fact it has," Dave said, "But teenagers, you guys never want to lose from one another,"

Ashton stayed quiet.

A knock came on the door suddenly. Jayce.

She interrupted at the exact time, "The Walkers are here," she said.

Dave nodded and stood up, and walked out. Ashton was about to follow him when Jayce stepped in the room. She lent out her hand to him by the jacket when he grabbed her wrist before she could've done that.

"I will never thank you for this," he stated.

"I wasn't looking for one," she said, trying to release her hand from his but he gripped tightly. She winced, "Why are you always defending your mother?"

"She is the only damn family I have left, Jayce," Ashton said in a vexed tone. She flustered, "The Walkers won't care about me once the news goes out. So I don't know how you didn't think about that part. Why did you even freaking think this was a correct thing to freaking do?"

"Because you freaking deserve better, you stupid moron," she said, knitting her brows, "Now let go,"

"Deserve better?" he asked, then scoffed, "So you think just because both of our moms have the same habit, that makes the way we think should also be the same?"

Jayce clenched her jaw, "You can't tell me you don't hate your mother,"

"She is my mother, not yours. And it is my freaking decision to make if I want to walk away from her or not. You don't get to make people turn on other people just because you think you're freaking correct," Ashton was more than annoyed, he was in the edge of the cliff, "You are literally, and I mean literally, the worst person I've ever met,"

He released his hand roughly and went out of the room, banging the door on her.

Completely selfless people are rare, and barely exist. There are only selfless-selfish people.

~~~

"We'd like to press charges," Anita, the eldest child of the Walkers, stated.

Kimberly was scowling, sitting in front of Dave's table with handcuffs on her.

Ashton approached the commotion and immediately argued back respectfully, standing in front of his mother, "Aunt Anita, I know my mother did something wrong, but please forgive her. We'll give you back the foundation-"

"Give them back the foundation?" Kimberly broke in, "That is completely something I oppose!" she yelled.

"Unless you want to go to jail," he said, "Say sorry to them now,"

An old man with a walking stick approached the commotion, pushing Ashton harshly away from Kimberly, "No apologies will be accepted,"

"Mr Walker," Dave stepped in, "No violence please,"

"She clearly fooled us, what do you want us to do?" a man yelled. He was standing next to a boy who looked as if he was a little bit older than Ashton. He was playing with his phone.

Some other officers stepped in and held the angry family. The old man: Howard, the old woman: Kiara, the sister: Anita, the sister's husband: Leo and their son.

"You pathetic liar!" an old woman with tons of jewelry said, "You only wanted Mikael's money! That was the only reason you decided to marry him anyway!"

Kimberly didn't even look at the family who were yelling at her, she was simply staring at her newly-decorated nails. Ashton had no defense over himself. Kimberly only cared about the money.

"Anita Walker," a girl spoke, "4 criminal records, went in and out of jail 3 times, with charges of drunk-driving, insurance fraud, and woah," she scoffed, "Bribe. Does this run around the entire family or something?"

Ashton turned around to see who it was. Jayce.

"Moving on to Howard Walker," Jayce said, reading a list in her hands, "Vandalism, attacks and robbery. You still need money after everything?" she turned the page, "Kiara Walker, drunk-driving too, and...woah, here's a good one: tried to attempt a murder on a person she didn't like by poisoning her food," she gasped, then laughed like a psycho, pleased to see the crime records, "Ashton, crime is their comedy, see this list?" she gave out a cheeky smile, with no guilt at all. He curled his lip in return.

The family scowled in their response. Dave glared at Jayce, telling her to stop. While she knew it was a way to intimidate them.

"Who is this?" Howard asked, annoyed. Everyone stayed quiet. Tactics.

"Oh, one more," Jayce said with an intimidating smile on her face, "Milton Walker, oh he's your cousin, or step-cousin, about our age, and unemployed wow," she curled her lip as she looked at Ashton from the corner of her eye, and he was giving her a look to stop, but she didn't care, "Damn that's a whole chunk of criminal records," she cleared her throat to exaggerate on reading it. Overall, it was her plan anyways, to intimidate them, "First, we have-"

All of a sudden, the list in her hands was taken from Jayce's hands and banged to the ground, with the wooden surface behind the papers creating a huge echo on the tiled floor.

The boy, who was playing with his phone and was standing next to Leo before, had grabbed it and threw it to the ground.

"I'm guessing you're Milton," Jayce said with a thin smile.

Ashton furrowed his brows at both Milton and Jayce, frustrated.

"Let's cut the chase and tell me why you're interfering in all of this," Milton said. Geez, his breath smelt horrible.

"Milton," Anita warned from behind, "Stop,"

"I asked a question," Milton approached Jayce, "You have to answer it, before I-"

Before Milton could even finish his sentence, he couldn't speak when his throat was blocked by someone's hand. Jayce didn't even blink on that occasion, with Ashton's hand gripping on Milton's neck.

"What? Break her jaw? Choke her?" he scoffed, "Those are old now,"

"Ashton, let go of him!" Anita yelled from the other side, but the officers blocked them, while Kimberly was just sitting there, sipping the coffee she had asked the policeman to get her for.

"Ashton Walker, enough!" Dave stepped in.

Jayce gave her father a signal, shaking her head once to tell him to stop. Dave raised a brow, figuring out what his daughter was trying to do.

"You're scared of them though," Milton said in a breath.

"I was a child, a stupid one," Ashton squeezed on his neck harder, "But now that I've grown up, that doesn't really sound too bad,"

Milton knitted his brows and let out a sigh.

"Ashton," Jayce started, "There won't be any difference if you threaten the Walkers or not. Your mother's punishment wouldn't change otherwise,"

"I know that, I can't fight the law upon that," Ashton said, "I just find it ironic criminals are blaming another criminal, like how you stole all my gummy bears as a kid," he narrowed his eyes on his cousin and Milton started to suffocate, "After all, who put us here in the first place?" he meant it at Jayce of course but his anger was settled on someone else.

With a pull of Ashton's arm against Milton, he relentlessly and with no doubt, pushed Milton and let go of him that he lost balance and banged against a table, knocking over some things on that officer's table, including a glass cup.

The shatter of the cup into smaller pieces against the floor rang in Jayce's ear. A trigger. She remembered the fact every time something shattered, like a bottle of beer or wine or even a cup of water, it would have meant Jayce had to clean it up, and that usually led to the fact her mother was angry and on the drunkest stage of herself, leading to much worse things.

"ENOUGH!" Dave yelled, ordering Sanchez to grab Ashton, and he followed him to get back to his place.

"Milton!" Anita yelled, "Are you okay?"

The boy stood up with a scratch on his cheek and stood up, standing up wobbly. His fists clenched, glaring at Ashton.

"Unless you want to have a charge of violence, I suggest you stop now," Jayce pursed her lips, and shut her eyes to stop herself from exploding.

"Excuse me, but he started first," Milton replied back.

"No, you did," Jayce said, heart still beating and jaw still clenched, "And unless you want another criminal record, I suggest you step back so Detective Brooks here can finish this case. Kimberly Walker is not going anywhere," she jerked her head to one of the officers and brought Milton to the rest of the family where Anita immediately took a bandage and put it on his face.

Dave noticed his daughter's worry, and he had realized the glass breaking, "Jayce," he said in a low voice.

She ignored her father and went back to her father's office, leaving everyone in silence. Dave pursed his lips when Sanchez asked what they were supposed to be doing next.

"Right," Dave said, "Take the Walkers for statements and Kimberly Walker's lawyer would be here soon. And Ashton," he said, "I need your statements at most,"

There was no way he could lie. Blame was put on Jayce, all of it. And he couldn't escape from the fact his mother was going to jail, whether he spoke a truth or a lie.

~~~

Jayce, who was in her father's office, opened his drawer and took some more pills that he had just in case.

Trigger. Trigger. Trigger.

She hated the triggers. She hated that she was probably going back to therapy. She hated it. She was healed, and she was unhealed. And this, this wouldn't go away quickly. They never do.

Triggers. Hate the triggers.

~~~

She went back outside and walked across the loud and noisy family of Walkers with Dave and Kimberly already in the investigation room, waiting for her lawyer. Sanchez was looking after Kimberly and Ashton.

Before she left towards the door, Ashton had interrupted her again, "You're just leaving? Not even thinking of the mess you made?"

"I haven't talked to Amber ever since this morning," Jayce replied, "I need to make sure she's okay," she turned around when Ashton realized her shaking hands.

"You're shaking," Ashton stated, knowing something must have triggered it.

Jayce froze, "I'm fine," proceeding to walk out when Milton stepped in front of her. Ashton furrowed, and was about to step in when she took a cutter from the desk beside her.

She pointed it at him, Milton froze, while nobody in the police station seemed to notice.

Ashton flustered, but then, it seemed fun. He continued to sit on top of one of the tables, and watched the show.

"Since you love playing games," Jayce pointed it at his hand, "Should I cut those fingers off?" she queried, then continued pointing it on his neck, "Slitting your throat wouldn't be that bad, wouldn't it? You look scared, but I'm pretty sure you had 10 or more cases of abuse and assault which you mostly avoided being judged on," she said, "This wouldn't hurt much, wouldn't it?" she placed it close to his neck, about to push through when someone called her.

"Jayce,"

Ashton felt irritated with how it stopped what was going on, but as he looked up, he saw Jasmine in the door. Jayce took a breath and put the cutter back on the desk, and shoved past Milton. Ashton furrowed, unpleased on how that ended.

~~~

Jayce shoved past Jasmine who was on the door.

"Jayce-" Jasmine sighed.

"What do you want?" Jayce asked.

"Look, I'm sorry, after what happened, I didn't know, I was gullible and I'm one of the key points of this problem and I didn't even know and when I knew what you talked to Ashton this morning about it, I'm sorry and I wouldn't have-"

"Wouldn't have what? Left me? Cheated on me?" she asked, irritated, "I don't need a relationship built out of pure pity,"

Jasmine took a breath, "But I caused this. I started this, I started the chain,"

"You did, I'll admit that, but I don't give a damn anymore 'cause it happened," Jayce said, "But I started the lie, so I put it on me for that to be blamed," her hands were still shaking and she wanted to get back to the dorm immediately.

"And you're helping Ashton now?"

"It's his choice. I'm to blame for everything that has happened today,"

"But-"

"I don't need your pity. I don't want whatever happened today will make everyone pity me so please, I don't want to talk anymore," Jayce ended the conversation and was about to go when Jasmine broke in again.

"You don't have a ride, right?" Jasmine asked, "I'll take you,"

"No thank you,"

"Yes you will," she grabbed Jayce's arm and pushed her into her car.

Jayce scowled, wanting to get out.

"I don't want you to get tired," Jasmine said, which surprisingly made Jayce stop resisting.

From the window, Ashton saw them both, and he had to continue with his statements soon after.

~~~

The two didn't speak at all during the car ride, and Jayce just kept silent, with her attack slowly fading away. She just felt uneasy above it all.

When they arrived at the dorm, Jayce stepped out, without having an expression on her face, and just said, "Thanks,"

"Anytime," Jasmine pursed her lips.

Guilt, Jaz felt. Blame, Jayce felt.

~~~

Jayce arrived back at her dorm, with a lot of people still whispering to her in the corridors, and she saw Amber who was trying on her new makeup things she bought online.

"How's dad?" Amber asked, applying mascara.

"Good," Jayce replied, taking a drink from the fridge and drinking.

"Now that you've officially stolen the attention of everyone and cut your hair, you must think you rule the world, don't you?"

"I am to blame," she said, "You can say everything you want to say,"

"You are to blame: and the stupidest reason why you chose to lie about everything is just because of your trauma?" Amber scoffed, "Grow up, and forget about it, Jayce."