22. SELF-VALIDATION

Love, some people would laugh at that word. It's not real. What does it feel like? Is it something that you enjoy? Is it something that's unique? Is it something that causes pain? No one would know. Love comes in different fonts.

"You're not in love with him," Jasmine replied back, "Your eyes say everything,"

"My eyes?" she scoffed back, turning around, making her look her in the eyes, "They don't speak of anything in my head,"

That was a lie. She seemed to be in sorrow.

"I'll not burden you with my thoughts," Jasmine said, "And you and Ashton, congrats. You and him deserve each other," she walked past Jayce with a poker face and she gave off a sigh after she left.

That's it. That's the end.

~~~

Jayce headed for the school, and it seemed that the entire news had gone through the whole school.

And it seemed there were only a few people who liked it, and several others who didn't.

Nonetheless, it was all a fake relationship after all.

But Amber, she was the only thing Jayce had in mind. That one problem that would bug your entire life.

"This year's prom king and prom queen," one said in the hallway.

Jayce wished that she could just scream and say that she didn't love nor like him at all. It was just one stupid game.

"Shocking,"

"Those two are gonna be the deaths of each other,"

"Not gonna lie, with two of them as the best students in the school, they'd be unstoppable,"

"Once the relationship goes downhill, it would be the likelihood of a civil war,"

All that they said, it was the entire truth of what may come.

Jayce clicked her tongue as she proceeded to get into class, seeing Amber in her seat, glaring at her sharply. She walked up the steps and sat beside her, who was giving her a death stare.

From the corner of Jayce's eye, she saw Amber's phone still on in front of her, with a few text messages to their father.

She flinched and took her phone, and Amber made no resistance at all. She wanted her to see it.

'Jayce is dating Ashton' Amber texted.

'What?' Dave replied.

'You read my message, you understand. Jayce is dating Ashton Walker, the boy you suspect to be Eric's murderer,'

'Get your sister to call me now'

"Don't act surprised, Princess Perfect," Amber started, crossing her arms, "You can't date a suspect for your own wishes, especially for your own selfish feelings,"

Jayce put back the phone on the table, "If you don't know the whole picture, then stop talking,"

"Are you going to ask your brand new boyfriend to kill me?" she asked back.

Jayce couldn't answer the question. She was suspicious of him and that's why she dated him. A little step into the lion's den.

"He's a suspect," Amber said, "Might be the real killer,"

"I have my reasons,"

"Like being the best psychopath couple?"

"Amber, dad doesn't have to worry about my plan," Jayce started, "It won't concern him one bit,"

"It concerns me," she said again.

"You don't have to worry about anything," she replied, "I'll find Eric's killer no matter what,"

"Then tell me your plan,"

"If I tell you my plan, the only thing that's going to happen is that it'll spread around through the entire school, and in the end, we'll lose Eric's killer," Jayce said.

It was simple to understand, that she dated Ashton to prove him as a murderer, but Amber felt that her popularity was now outshined again by her sister.

"Of course, you're only thinking about that. You don't care about how much outshining you have done to your own sister," Amber said, having a poker face on her.

"I'm doing this for you, and for Eric. So shut up, and act like you don't know anything," Jayce stated, eating up her words in frustration, "And thank you, for another mess you've made that I, once again, have to clean up," she took out her phone and dialed her father as she walked out of the classroom.

~~~

"Have you lost your entire mind?" Dave yelled on the phone.

"With a great detective mind of yours, you should know that being in love isn't part of my to-do list," Jayce replied.

She was in an empty hallway, quite far from the classroom, hiding behind the wall that separates the lockers and the outdoors.

"This has gone too far, Jayce. I'm in charge of this investigation, not you."

"Charming Ashton Walker, and making him spill everything isn't something hard to do," she stated, "I'm helping you out,"

"Stop playing with the fire and break up with him before it gets too far,"

"Playing with fire? Like what? Him killing me?"

"No, him killing for you,"

"Then if that happens, I'll let the fire burn me whole,"

~~~

"I heard the news," a boy broke in from behind her as she walked down the hall.

Jayce turned around and saw Niel walking in with a few books in his hand, "The news does go around quick,"

"I thought you hated Ashton,"

She clicked her tongue. She still did in anyway, "A change of mind did the trick,"

"I didn't expect you to date him," Niel said immediately, "Just tell me if he does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable,"

Jayce furrowed, finding a spark in her saying that he was acting rather odd, "Why? Do you know something I don't?"

"Why would I know something you don't? I'm just being cautious 'cause you're my friend,"

"You seem to be more jealous than cautious," she narrowed her eyes on him.

Niel gulped, "Friends can be jealous too you know," he said.

"Acting like a big brother now?" she lowly laughed.

He gave back a small smile, "You're one of my first friends here,"

"Well, it's a pleasure to be," Jayce said, "You've never really once talked about yourself,"

"My parents died years back, I don't want to talk about that, so I've been alone ever since," Niel said.

"I'm sorry," she replied, "Last time at the funeral, you said you were going to meet your mother-figure. Who is she?"

"I'm surprised you still remember that,"

"Photographic memory," Jayce smiled.

And that meant she remembered everything with great detail. Every single pain and happiness in the past, she remembered it all. Good and bad, it was never going to go away.

"Oh, I see," Niel thinly smiled, "She's an old friend of my mother's,"

"Or were you just trying to avoid the questions being asked by Ashton," she went straight to the point.

Niel clenched his jaw, "I'm sorry but are you interrogating me right now?"

"It's just a question, I'd like to get to know you more," she couldn't really trust anyone, could she?

"Right, but no, I did want to meet her that day,"

"I see," Jayce said, "Well, then, let's get to class,"

"Where's Ashton by the way?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "He left with Jaxon's dad this morning,"

"Why?"

"I have no idea,"

~~~

After school, Principal Harrison had called Jayce to her office, and Ashton had skipped school for the entire day.

She started to grow worried about him, but she was far more worried on who she should trust and not to trust.

She couldn't trust Amber at all, and her trust for Niel started to shake.

"Where's Ashton?" Harrison asked.

"He skipped school for the entire day,"

"News says that you both are dating," he grabbed his coffee cup and sipped.

Jayce gave an uncomfortable laugh. How would Harrison react when he finds out that Ashton could be a possible killer?

"We just... got there somehow..." she pursed her lips.

"He is picky sometimes," he commented.

"I'll try calling him again," Jayce replied, and took out her phone, dialing Ashton.

The phone was answered with just Ashton's normal greetings: cheeky ones.

"Miss me already, president?" he asked immediately.

"At this time, you're my vice president and not my boyfriend and at this point and right now, I order you, from wherever you are, to come back to school," she stated, rather sarcastic as well.

"Like right now?" Ashton flinched, "Sorry to disappoint you, president, but right now I can't. But trust me, it's all worth it. I'll cure your missing towards me when I come back at night, gotta go, president. Bye!" he hung up the phone before Jayce could say anything, leaving her speechless.

"He isn't one of the ones who likes to be told," Harrison gave a small laugh.

"I'll just inform him about it when he gets back,"

"Well, it's not about informing, it's about meeting,"

"Meeting someone? Someone wants to meet Ashton?"

"Remember Frankie? From Joy Primary School? He wants to meet you and Ashton both,"

Jayce's face lit up, "Frankie's here?"

"Yes, and I'm here to confidently say that now Joy Primary School has been rebuilt and has been given a better environment and structure for the kids to study," Harrison smiled as he took out his phone and showed her the photos.

The building was now tiled nicely, and the structure had colorful paint on it, and cobblestones for the paths. The yard was filled with tables to eat, and some teachers from the boarding school were also sent to give out basic lessons to the students.

"That's wonderful," Jayce exclaimed as she swiped through the pictures.

"Other than that," he responded, "What other event are we gonna have? At least by these two months,"

"Ashton purposed a Christmas Ball a while ago, I'll ask him again about it,"

"Very well," he replied, "You wanna meet Frankie?"

"Sure,"

~~~

"Jayce!" a young boy ran towards her in front of the office.

The girl crouched down as the boy plunged into a warm embrace and she squeezed him tightly.

"I've missed you too," she laughed lightly.

The young boy stepped back, then showed Jayce his ankle which had healed, "Thanks to you, I'm all healed now," he smiled, showing off his milk teeth which some day or another would fall off very soon.

"I'm happy to hear that," she rubbed his hair.

"Where's Ashton?" he asked.

"He's out of the school right now, but I'll tell him you came,"

Frankie stepped back then ran back to the van he went down from. An elder woman was seen inside, and he took a plastic bag filled with things from her, then ran back to Jayce. She stood up, raising a brow on what he was bringing.

"This is for you and Ashton, from my nana," Frankie lifted the plastic bag up high to Jayce's face.

Jayce took the plastic bag and looked inside, seeing two thick scarfs placed inside, sewed neatly and manually. She looked back up at Frankie, "I don't know how to say thank you," she said, "But, thank you so much, and I'm really really thankful for this. I just know for a fact, Ashton would love this very much,"

"Welcome," Frankie replied.

Jayce mouthed the words 'Thank you' to the old woman in the van, and she replied with a smile.

"I have to leave again now," Frankie said, "I got a new storybook to read, and a new drawing book to draw on!"

"Well then, I hope you visit often," Jayce patted his head as he walked away, waving and smiling.

The driver, who was a security guard from the boarding school, started the van as it began to drive away, and Jayce was just there, filled with happiness as she saw the boy living the better life he always deserved.

~~~

Jayce sat at the bench near the dorm entryway, as the sun started to set and the grounds became quieter.

She took out the scarfs from the bag and looked at it with warmth. It was comfy, and it was something Ashton would deliberately love.

One was in beige color, and had gray floral patterns on it, and was sewed out of cotton. The other was of a maroon color, that was much thicker yet lighter than the beige one.

And maybe it was something Jayce had not thought about, but she had decided to wait until Ashton would come back, although she was not pissed at all about it. She took it rather to heart than to the brain.

And when she takes things to heart, it would either bless her or curse her. The last time she took things to heart, it cursed her.

~~~

Jayce rested her head against the wall as the cold breeze of the last few days of October passed through her. It felt calm. It felt peaceful.

It had probably been an hour, and she was getting quite anxious about Ashton. But that boy, all that he ever did to her was make her nervous. No other thought than that could be any better.

But why, she thought in the dark, why, in the middle of this mess, does it feel that we're too calm? Like nothing happened? Why the hell was there another mind game in the middle of this?

"Kind of you to wait for your dear vice president," a voice woke her up, "But I'd rather have you sleep in a bed than a bench in the middle of the cold autumn wind. The last thing I would want in my life is for my dear president getting sick,"

"Such sweet words from such a boy like you," Jayce said as her eyes opened slowly.

Ashton looked tired, sweat was all over him even if, like he said, it was the cold autumn wind.

"Did you go somewhere where it's summer?" she asked, raising a brow.

"The sweat is worth it," he grinned and sat down beside her, "Why did Harrison want to meet us both?"

"Frankie came by,"

"Frankie? Our adopted child?" he teased that made Jayce smile a little, "How is he?"

"Great, good, happy, and healthy," she replied with a thin smile on her face, taking the plastic bag in her hands, "His grandma made us these,"

Ashton took the plastic bag from her hand and took out the red scarf, "Okay, grandma has skills. This is probably the warmest thing in this world I've ever felt,"

"It is pretty," she commented, taking her beige scarf as well.

"How was your day? I mean like, how did Amber react to our relationship?" he asked.

"Somewhere here, somewhere there," she frowned in return.

"So is it somewhere here or there?" he asked in confusion.

Jayce let out a small chuckle, "It's more there,"

"Which means she doesn't like it right?" Ashton asked again.

"Yes, vice president," she turned to look at him, and it wasn't really the first time they've stared at each other but it was the fact that the moment they did at that time, rain poured.

Ashton blinked in shock as he saw the rain pouring out there. It wasn't heavy, but it was perfect to stay in, at least that's what Jayce thinks.

"I've been waiting ages for rain to pour in autumn. Syville doesn't rain easily, y'know," she stood up and walked outside the entryway, and the rain fell on her, and one happy--no, happiest--smile showed up on her face.

Ashton didn't like the cold, and he immediately put on his scarf. He stood up, and went to the entryway, flinching against the cold.

Jayce noticed and furrowed jokingly, "Come here, join me, it feels so good. You can't tell me you don't like rain,"

"I can tell you that I don't like rain, and if I were you, I would get back inside before I get the flu," he stated.

"Sometimes I think you're no fun,"

Ashton felt offended, "Me? No fun? Says the girl who choked me," he scoffed.

"Thanks, very truthful of you," she scowled.

He held his hands by the side and rubbed them.

"Don't be lame," she approached him, hair all wet and her jacket all soaked in rain. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the rain and he held back, "Have a little fun. Rain is a reminder that life isn't all cupcakes and rainbows,"

"But it sure is your cupcakes and rainbows," he held back, holding onto the door as Jayce kept tugging him.

"Bingo," she clicked her tongue, "Just this once, please?" she used puppy eyes, and to Ashton, it seemed very much weird of her begging, "Captain?"

Ashton's ears ringed at the word 'Captain'.

"Can you repeat what you just said? I didn't hear it," he pursed his lips to hide his smile.

"What? The 'Just this once, please?'" Jayce flinched, gulping.

"No, after that, you said something as well," he teased.

"No, I didn't," she clenched her jaw, and kept pulling him.

"Repeat it? Please? I wanna hear it again, I didn't catch what you said," he joked, slowly letting go of the door handle.

Jayce scowled as she pulled his wrist too hardly, and with the unbalance between the release and the pull, the two began to stumble against the wet ground. She grabbed his hand as well, making sure that if she fell, he fell too. Ashton, however, didn't want to fall, he would be lame, according to Jayce.

He got his posture together and grabbed her by the waist and wrist, pulling her back up as she slipped in the rain. The two looked at each other, one looking proud, and the other looking rather vexed.

The rain fell on Ashton's hair, which was getting rather flatter, and his new scarf started to soak in the rainwater.

"Now that you're soaking, comment what you think about the rain," she curled her lip.

"It's cold, and freezing, and unpleasant, and ridiculously wet, and it's irritating, and I'm all soaked," he repeated, eyes focused on her lips and nothing else, "And-," he paused, hand still on her waist and wrist.

She stared at him rather oddly, "And?"

"And you," he said blankly, looking back up her eyes and locking their sight, "Just. You."

She froze, as his hands pushed her closer, and he hovered his lips above hers. He just did, and did, and did, making Jayce wait and wait, and freeze, and gulp, and the want. The want was beyond compare.

And with the want, she did it instead. She brushed her lips against him first, before he did. She supported herself by putting her hands on his neck, and it was just them. In the rain.

Two fake lovers who wanted anything to fulfill their needs. Their ego, their selfishness, their deceiving looks, their little games, nothing was ever going to end. Because in the end, they were just two teenagers who didn't know who they wanted, but always wanted what they wanted.

No, it wasn't love. Jayce barely loved him, she simply was in belief of the fact that Ashton was a murderer. But Ashton on the other hand, was in the simple need of caring for her, but was also in the great need of protecting her.

The warmest thing Ashton has ever felt wasn't the new scarf. It was Jayce.