Engah

[Hell, The fourth circle of Lust, Engah]

God had given man many among four gifts. The gift of Life, the gift of creation, the gift of control, the gift of death. Yet, even with those gifts we are an imperfect species. But man always gives into his desires, he must do so to survive, if he doesn't, he dies.

We yearn yet, for desires outside of this.

This sort of Lust disgusted me.

And the Lust we have for money, for fame, for food, for weapons...it's almost all the same, but none of it was this disgusting. A Lust that returned man to his primal state, as it were, a fear of the unknown, and a dream of the same thing we saw in all other aspects of our lives.

It degenerated into an obsession, a dream, so potent that it drove us to do things we never would have done, only for the sake of said dream.

...

I opened my eyes, I stood, naked, in the midst of what was similar to a dungeon; there was a cot, a table, a water cooler...

And a large statue of a naked woman in the center of the room. This horrible woman, with her legs spread and her arms extended, tempting men into her, was one of the things that we all lived for. Although it was only a statue, I saw several men there, the lust of the woman itched at them, and they couldn't control themselves any further. Side by side, they climbed upon her spread legs, screaming as they thrust themselves inside of her. She was no longer a statue, but now a statue turned to life.

I watched as the men, one by one , fell to her bare body, screaming, only to jump up as they felt it begin to breathe. But even so, all common sense left them as one of the men tied her arms together as she was soon carried from the room. Her bosom heaved with each thrust, her legs spread wide open, an easy target for any would be rapist.

I could feel the heat from her, the sweat rolling off her breasts, the wetness between her legs. All of the men were panting and breathing heavily, their faces were red and flushed, their hearts racing.

What an utterly disgusting sight; yet, a sight that could be easily avoided, were one not tempted by her charms.

And here I was, being tempted as well. The statue was a thing of beauty, no doubt, and her body was so perfect. The curves, her waist that looked something akin to the waist of a ballerina, the legs that seemed to go on for days.

She was so perfect, too perfect.

Her breasts were not the size of watermelons, nor were her hips so narrow that one could grab her whole hand, but they were perfectly proportioned.

Soon, the thrusting stopped all at once as she fell limp. She was no longer a statue, but a living creature.

The men, no, the beasts, were breathing heavily, their eyes filled with lust.

A small trickle of blood ran down her lips, and onto her breasts. Soon, their penises were removed, and I mean that they were physically removed from their bodies. The penis, a symbol of masculinity, the thing that gave us life, was now a source of shame, as the men could only look on in horror at the mess in front of them. 

I didn't even see how it happened; it was almost a proof of my sanity that regardless of the perfection that was her body, she was no longer a living thing, but a pile of flesh and bone, and I was still alive.

I could not help but be fascinated by the sheer brutality of the scene.

Men writhing in pain on the floor as the woman's gore laid there, a reminder of the horrors that would happen were we to continue to live the same way.

I felt something hit my back, a piece of the woman's flesh. I was repulsed, yet intrigued. 

It was something manifesting behind me, a large figure, the same as the statue. A being so perfect, so beautiful that even in her gore, I could not help but stare.

I was enraptured by her, I could not tear my eyes away from her. She almost looked like...

Like a goddess.

She was perfect. Everything about her was perfect.

And her eyes. They were...

Her eyes.

They were full of life, not the cold stare that the statue had.

These eyes.

I could see them, and I was lost.

The goddess had a look of disgust on her face, yet, she did not seem to be repulsed by me. I didn't know why she looked so disgusted, but I knew for a fact that it was directed towards the men, and not me.

She approached me, slowly. I could not see her, but I could feel her presence.

She was beautiful, absolutely breathtaking.

But why did she look so disgusted? That bugged me to no end.

"You... You are a fool." She said, "A damned fool, a wretched being. A creature that does not deserve to exist."

Why did she say that? Why was she saying these things?

I was shocked, and a bit angry.

Why was she saying such cruel things?

The goddess' voice was soft, gentle, and warm. Yet, it had a sharp edge to it, an edge that could cut through steel.

I tried to speak, but no words came out.

I tried to reach out to her, whether it was out of this unbeknownst anger or this strange fascination, but she just looked down at me, her eyes filled with disgust.

I wanted to desecrate her. I wanted to ruin her.

Why did she look so disgusted? Did I look just as disgusting to her?

I looked down at my hands, and saw they were covered in blood, a crimson liquid flowing from them.

Blood.

My blood.

Why was I bleeding?

The goddess was standing in front of me, a few feet away. I was in a daze, unable to comprehend what was happening.

No, it was more than that.

I was in shock.

The goddess spoke again, "You, you have done many things in your life, but you have done the most horrible thing of all."

What? What was it then? Why are you speaking to me as if I'm the devil?

"You have betrayed God." She said.

Betrayed...

What did she mean?

What did I do?

"You have betrayed His love. You have betrayed your fellow man. And lost to your own desire. That is the ultimate sin. The worst betrayal of all."

Her voice was like honey, smooth and sweet, but her words were like poison.

"You have failed."

The goddess spoke these words with such finality that it made my head spin. I looked behind me, I noticed that all sound around had stopped. The men were gone, the statue was gone, and worst of all, the goddess was gone.

No, that wasn't quite right. She was still there.

I turned back to her, and she was staring straight at me, her eyes filled with disgust.

The goddess' body was a perfect sculpture. She was so beautiful, so pure. But her eyes were filled with such malice and contempt that it was impossible to imagine her as anything but the Devil.

I stood there for so long, pondering. What was it that I had done? What was it that I had done to betray God's love? I had never even met Him. I was a mere mortal. A human being.

"Why do you look so disgusted?" I finally found my voice.

But... I was already atop her fighting body. Her neck was bleeding, and her skin was torn. She was naked, and the wounds that marred her were so deep, it was hard to believe that she was still alive. 

'You filthy bastard, look at yourself!'

'That's all you ever are!'

'You're a fucking disgrace to the human race!'

'How dare you lay a hand on a goddess, you fucking coward?'

I heard their voices, the voices of those who had been with me before.

'You're a monster. A fucking monster.'

The words were like knives, cutting through my heart. I was bleeding, again. But I didn't care. It was what I wanted, as I wrung her neck harder and harder.

I could see the goddess struggling, trying to get away, but she was too weak.

'Why do you look so disgusted?' I asked her, but her answer was not there anymore, just the same disgust that I had seen earlier.

'Why?'

'Why?'

'Why?'

My head began to hurt, and the world became a blur. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't handle holding back the screams, and the pain, and the disgust.

'I'm going to kill you.'

I had no idea where that voice came from, but I knew I had to obey.

'Kill her.' Perhaps I said to myself.

'Kill her. Kill her. Kill her.'

I felt my grip tighten. Her neck snapped, and the blood stopped flowing.

'I will.'

It was as if the world had frozen, and time had stopped. All of a sudden, there was no more movement, no more sound. There was only silence, and the feeling of my own breath, my heartbeat, and my sweat.

The world had stopped, and so had I. My lust; This bloodlust of mine was finally released.

I could only wonder what had happened. What had I done?

Was this the result of the actions I had taken?

I felt my eyes close, and the world went dark. 

I felt my ears stop ringing, and the world went silent.

I felt my nose stop burning, and the world went cold.

I felt my head stop spinning, and the world went still.

Everything had stopped.

I was dead.

I had killed her.

The goddess was dead.

I opened my eyes. I stood there naked.