My Hometown

Upland, IN is a very small town known only for Taylor University and is full of churches. It has gotten it's first General Dollar store just this year. It has one actual traffic light and 3 gas stations. Other restaurants have moved in recently and there finally isn't just Ivanhoe's. No one knows how long those new restaurants will last, since a lot have gone through Upland, but not stayed. There are at least 5 churches in this small town and that isn't changing anytime soon. 

That said it's only great for those who fit the mold and are religious. Many families move to this town to settle down. Most of the residents are Taylor students or college grads, there are a few old couples, and new parents that move in. The apartment buildings are quiet expensive in town because of all of the Taylor students. Your either apart of the church, go to church, or work/go to Taylor as someone who lives here. Nothing exciting happens and it's a town over looked. You only know about it if you lived here or went to Taylor. As you can imagine there isn't acceptance for those who don't fit those requirements. There isn't room for change and nonreligious ideals. I have heard that Taylor is now supporting anti-LGBT groups and sending funds towards that effort. 

They're finally getting a grant to fix the roads and improve the town. There are many non profit religious groups that meet and try to reach out to young adults about the lord. There is Light Rider, the Red Barn, and UCC church groups. You can be in a church group or program your whole life basically. Since there are programs that you can be put in when your 5 to when you graduate high school. Then if you want you can volunteer while in collage and help out the church or stay with the church. So if you want to be trapped in the church for the rest of your life you have come to the right place. 

There are different churches and different groups, but all say, teach the same exact stuff. Might say their different, but none are. So you feel like you have options, but it's all the same thing in different buildings. Every church has a youth group and outside activities their involved in with the church. This is a religion you can't get away from and can major in if you want in the Christian collage of Taylor. I like how you can major in the bible and not know answers to real life questions. Like if I don't repent of being myself can I go to heaven? I asked all the Taylor students and people I knew. No one would give me the answer to my question.

I then decided to do my own research and decided that it's possible. I had taken into account my friends and families opinion on this matter. Most of my friends said that they didn't know. 2 of them believed that it meant I was going to hell. That loving myself would cause me to go to hell, though I had repented all of my other "sins". One of my sister agreed with that statement. But two of my sisters had another view on the matter at hand. They told me that since I was saved god covered the sins that I didn't repent of.

This was very comforting at the time, since I was struggling and wanting to give up. But I continued my research further to have evidence of it. What I found was that it was said that the word homosexual in the bible was miss translated. That it was a different word entirely and I found this in two sources.

One of which is a historian looking at the bible and seeing the mistake. The other one was a preacher. I looked at a lot of different websites, I'm no expert myself so I can't affirm the backing, but I do believe that these are accurate websites. I was looking for different views on the matter. I didn't want to only know the one side, so I tried to find the other one. This is what I have found. The website that had the support of a historian is: "https://www.gaychristian101.com/how-do-you-answer-the-verse-that-says-homosexuals-will-not-go-to-heaven.html"                                                                                                                                                        The other one was "https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-bible-does-not-condemn-homosexuality b 7807342"

Here is the list of different websites I used to find different information:

1. "https://www.livingout.org/the-bible-and-ssa"

2. "https:www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/06/05/us/samesex-scriptures.html"

3. "https:www.biblestudytools.com/topical-verses/bible-verses-about-homosexuality/"

4." https:www.focusonthefamily.com/family-q-ans-a/sexuality/biblical-prospective-on-homosexuality-and-same-sex-marriage"

5."https:www.christainitytoday.com/ct/2015/June-web-only/most-popular-bible-verses-for-debating-gay-marriage.html#"

6."http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2017-08-23/same-sex-marriage-what-the-bible-has-to-say-robyn-whitaker/8831826"

7."https://billygraham.org/answer/does-the-bible-approve of some homosexual-relationships/"

8."https:www.google.com/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/to-christians-arguing-no-on-marriage-equality-the-bible-is-not-decisive-824598"

I want you to have a place to start if your looking for options and have no idea where to start. I recommend you do your own research and find new information. I could have done more research but I thought that if I really wanted to I could go back and find more. It was really important to me that I found answers to my questions, since they would even discuss the problem in church. They never talked about current things that were happening and how to deal with things that happen in the real world.

I haven't done more research or explored more on these topics, because I have given up my faith and no longer believe in any of it. It was so hard for me to let it go before, since it was all I had ever known. With my parents being super religious and teaching it to me my whole life and never being told any different. The real problem behind that was that I used the religion as a comfort, since I felt that if no one loved me at least god did. I was scared that no one would love me and I wouldn't have a fall back plan. Especially since I didn't know how to love myself.

Currently I'm an atheist and can't completely love myself, but working on it. Another thing is that I haven't gone to Red Barn for almost a full, year, because they won't call me by the name I want to be called. They're chill about people's sexuality, but won't call them a name they have chosen instead of their birth name. You can get away with them calling you whatever name you like if they don't know your birth name. I also don't go there or to church when I have a choice because people know me. They either met someone from my family once in their life or don't know anyone and decide to talk to me. I have different reasons for why I don't like church and am not a christian, but that is for another time.