CHAPTER NINE

Sage's POV 

        As I watched my princess walk out the door my heart sunk.

      I wanted to tell her but I was…scared, maybe if I told her she would not get why I left. I know she's not that kind of person but I ran for a reason and I don't need to be reminded.

       My "father", if he even deserves to be called that, is not a good person. He is a narcissist, wicked and an egomaniac. It was so bad that I ran on my sixteenth birthday and never looked back.

       I got to Alervan looking horrible and a kind old lady named; Ethel took me in, and I lived with her for two years, after which I auditioned to be a royal guard.

      I have never forgotten her and still send her money every month as a thank you for those two years.

      I never expected to meet the princess during her training, I never expected to become her royal guard, infact she could not stand me the first time we met for some odd reason and I most certainly did not expect to become as close to her as I was now, not to talk of how emotionally attached I am to her now.

       I can't handle her hating me for not telling, and even more I can't handle her changing guards. I can live with her hating me as long as I am still her guard, nothing else matters.

       I walked out of the door and the hall was empty. A stupid part of me hoped to see the princess, but that was just wishful thinking.

        I went to my room, say on my bed and immediately buried my face in my hands. What is wrong with me? How could I hurt my princess like that? The hurt in her face nearly killed me. No matter how much she hates me, I hate myself more for what I did.

       I sat up and hit my bed frame with everything I had in me, then I slid down the side of the bed to the floor, like the pathetic disgrace of a guard I am.

                  Ophelia's POV

    Why didn't he tell me? Would it have been so hard? Why?! Why?! Why?! The thoughts were reeling in my head, during dinner.

    Maybe if I had found out about this before I found out the emperor wanted to kill us, I would have taken it better but when you find out that your guard's father happens to be a psychopath it makes it all the more jarring.

     "Ophelia, what happened? You haven't eaten."

      "What?" I asked, snapping out of my daze.

       "I said what happened? You haven't eaten," my mother repeated.

       "I'm just not hungry,"I said, trying to feign a smile.

        "That's odd. Are you sure you are okay?" My father asked.

        "No, I'm fine," I assured them and they seemed skeptical but nodded anyway.

       "Oh Ophelia can you imagine one of the duchesses brought their son to meet me, saying the he would be a good prince consort," mother told me incredulously.

       "Oh?"

       "And she was not the only one," it was followed by a series of conversations that I was disconnected from. The least of my problems right now were nobles who basically wanted to sell their sons to me at this point.

       After dinner, I went to my room and wondered how in the realms I got to this point of my life.

       I have always believed that we are all stories being told and whoever the author of my tale is, respectfully it's enough. I am tired.

      I just stared at myself in the mirror and the more I looked the less I saw. I really have no idea what I expected to see, maybe a solution to the case I was in. I really have no clue.

      The worst part is that tomorrow I have to go to a banquet held in my honor by the cause of the problem and to make it better. I just found out that he has a son and said son has known me for a quarter of my life.

     I once again have no clue what to do and that seems to be a reoccurring point in my life at this point.

      Thinking about it, I really should not let Sage go off the hook like that, because who knows what else he is hiding but it's Sage if I do not know anything - which I am starting to think I do not - it's that Sage would not hurt me. At least I would like to believe so.

      I'm trying so hard to not be hurt but it's so hard, I've cried in front of him… multiple times. I've sat with him and had the longest conversations about the most unnecessary topics. I've let myself seem weak in front of him only to find out something so big.

      He says he couldn't tell me, does he really think I would have hated him. Yes I am angry now but I don't hate him no matter how hard I try I know I can't hate him. I hate how I can't bring myself to hate him even though he kept this secret from  me for 8 years. I understand not telling me the first time we met, but as we got closer he could have at least told me, so I wouldn't find out this many years later.

      My head was pounding at this moment, my thoughts were running in all directions and my sanity was being tested. I had the slightest urge to tell at the top of my lungs but then everyone in the palace would run to my room and I would not be able to explain.

      Instead of screaming in the palace I teleported myself to the mountains overlooking Alervan and sat on the ground staring at the horizon. 

       If only my life could be as peaceful as the birds, it would have been so much easier. Birds don't worry about their emperor being mentally unstable. 

        I remained there for a while till my eyes got heavy and I fell asleep.