Chapter 8

Then I saw it, the outside, It was more beautiful than anything I could have imagined…

When my brother convinced me to break the rules and go outside, I didn't understand. I could never understand my brother, who strived for freedom. Our parents never allowed us to leave our home, but I was fine with that. I loved home, after all. Every day, my brother would ramble on about venturing outside, traveling cities and learning more about the world. He promised vast and beautiful landscapes and breathtaking views from mountaintops.

I loved listening to his stories and began wanting to escape the toxic prison our parents raised in order to protect us from the outside world. He promised to show me the sea, the people of different races and endless adventure.

On that fateful day, we ran away at night with some food and just walked along the path. We eventually reached a city and had to scavenge around the premises to find something to eat. We were beggars, thieves and scum. Although it was hard and the nights were cold, it was the most excitement I had ever felt. Every fiber of my body ached daily and I never got to rest, but so did my brother and that made me feel calm and connected. It had been about a week, when we decided to hide in a farmers luggage to travel even further and further.

In the city we found ourselves in, the people were poor and hopeless. We wandered the streets hungry, looking for food but never found any. The pain in my stomach was so unbearable, I thought this was the place we'd die. We then got picked up by an elderly couple living in the city, who took care of us lovingly.

After some time, my eyes started hurting in a painful way. They started swelling and my brother said, to call a doctor. The elderly couple, who had picked us up were at a loss. There was no doctor in this poor village. My symptoms got worse.

{???}: „Brother, it's about time we headed home. It's already been more than a week at least. Then atleast I could get my eye treated."

{???}: „Do you seriously want to go back to that place? What do you think they'll do once we come back? They definetely won't forgive us and punish us accordingly."

{???}: „I thought this was just a short excursion? Didn't you tell me, that father approved of this?"

{???}: „Elara, I thought you would understand over the course of this journey. We won't ever be going back."

Back then, I was about to snap at my brother, but was interrupted by loud talking in the distance. We rushed out to look and quickly got snatched up by a group of soldiers.

I clearly remember…that day my brother, Aldric, cried his heart out. He knew we were caught. These people were taking us back. I noticed it quickly.

That was when my vision was lost. We had been too late. No doctor could save me now…

I wake up covered in sweat and let out a gut-wrenching scream.

{Leo}: *startled* „haa. Elara, what's wrong. Are you hurt?"

{Adelinde}: „Don't scare me, what is it? Leo, her scream might have been noticed by some beasts."

{Leo}: „That's okay. What's more important right now is Elara. Are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"

{Elara}: „I'm sorry, Adelinde. I'm so sorry. Please don't even pay attention to me. I'm sorry."

Please just…don't look at me. I already know that I am useless and just a dead weight.

This is all his fault. If only that deadbeat of a brother never took me outside the palace. Then maybe I wouldn't have ended up blind. I pray to god every night that bastard dies a horrible death. Even know that I won't be able to witness it anymore.

{Leo}: „I don't know what happened, but I would never ignore you, Elara, when you worry me like that."

{Elara}: „I'm sorry. Just leave me alone now."

I'm in love with you, Leo. The way you treat me is something I will never forget. You know, back at the palace, it wasn't a lie. I really do like you and that is the only reason I followed you here. Now look at me being a hindrance to you and even to my dear sister.

I know that you will never recognize my feelings and the fact that you are secretly going out with Adelinde. It makes sense. She's so attentive and responsible. Her voice must relax you and your must love just talking to her.

Well, I'm sorry for being myself. For being toxic and a bad person. I'm sorry, I didn't notice how you looked out of the window with a sad look and I'm sorry for being so rude when we first met. I didn't mean to, i swear.

{Leo}: „Elara, I have some food for you. Can you smell it? Smells nice, right?"

{Elara}: „Yes."

{Leo}: „Were you crying? Your eyes…"

{Elara}: „I'm sorry."

{Leo}: „Please don't say that. If it's about the dream last night, you can talk to me about it. Now say Ah!"

{Elara}: *sobs* „ah"

{Adelinde}: „You're so cute, Elara Haha. Stop crying, sis, Come on. Do it for me?"

{Elara}: *still eating* „What do we do now?"

{Leo}: „We'll wait it out until either my condition clears up or rescue comes. Worst case we have to travel back on our own."

What else is there for me to do… I'll just rot away until help comes. I always end up on the losing end. I guess that's just how it is.

*that night while we are trying to sleep*

{Adelinde}: „So how are we faring? Everyone alright?"

{Elara}: „Couldn't be more boring for me personally. I'm glad i get to spend time with you guys though, I guess."

{Leo}: „It still hurts but I think I should be alright soon too. What about you, Adelinde?"

{Adelinde}: „It's a bit cold but I really love being outside the palace for once."

It's not as cool as you think, sister. If only you knew what I was going through back then.

{Elara}: „Haha I can't share that sentiment."

{Adelinde}: „Do you not like nature, Elara?"

{Elara}: „I used to…"

{Adelinde}: „What changed?"

{Elara}: „Haha it's a stupid reason. I'll save you the explanation."

{Leo}: „Can we get to sleep now? Please."

{Adelinde}: „Haha sure. Only if you beg, though."

{Leo}: „Pretty please, miss princess."

…

When Aldric and I arrived at the palace, Aldric tried pushing all the blame on me and trying to blame our parents for letting it get this bad. They figured, that I wasn't at fault and I took no repercussions from the incident. When I heard, that Adlric was stripped of his name and sent to a secondary family, I was shook to my core but also satisfied somehow. I was relieved and I resented myself for thinking that. My mental health plummeted as I didn't see a reason in living a blind life anymore. There were several therapists sent and many conversations with my siblings but I never bothered to actively fight against it. Every second was so devoid of emotion and so monotone.

That was until I got into reading books or much rather, books being read to me. I could finally envision a world before me like before. I loved the characters and never got bored of the various stories, created by people I didn't even know. The drama, the action and the romance. I could envision myself as someone I wasn't and it was calming. It was my last lifeline in this lost life of mine. Every day was the same, but at least I had some new books to read. I started getting into romance and psychology. Eventually I started enjoying just talking to people and pretending to be the main character of one of the books I was reading.

{Adelinde}: „You awake, sis?"

{Elara}: „Yes. Where is Leo?"

{Adelinde}: „Hes already in the carriage. People from Sanctaria have come to rescue us."

{Elara}: „Please, lead me to the carriage."

I guess this is the life of a blind person. I completely missed this whole three day stay outside the palace, while Leo and Adelinde must have made unforgettable memories. I can't even be happy about being rescued. I never felt in need of rescuing in the first place. Now it'll just go back to my humble little life rotting away in the palace.

I wish Adelinde would just die so Leo would only care about me