Not Over

I stared at Ray, my heart pounding, my mind racing. His words echoed in my head.

"Even with the baby. I still want you."

He couldn’t mean it. He couldn’t possibly still want me after everything I’d done.

I shook my head, tearing my gaze away from him. “No,” I said quickly. “You don’t.”

Ray frowned. “Jess......”

“You think you do,” I cut in, my voice firm even as my hands trembled. “You’re caught up in the moment, in all the emotions. You're not thinking straight. You don’t want me, Ray. Not after what I did.” I said. I couldn't believe what he said. Not even for a moment.

His jaw clenched. “You don’t get to decide that for me.” he said angrily.

I let out a bitter laugh. “I ruined everything,” I said. “I cheated on you. I lied to you. I kept a secret that you had every right to know.” My throat tightened, but I forced the words out. “And now I’m carrying someone else's baby. Ray, I’m the last person you should want.” I added bitterly.

Ray shook his head. “You think I don’t know all that?” he asked. “You think I don’t feel every single piece of this? I know what you did, Jess. I know the pain of it. But I also know what I feel.”

“No, Ray,” I said, my voice cracking. “You don’t.”

He let out a sharp breath, stepping closer. “I know you’re scared,” he said. “You think pushing me away will make this easier, but it won’t.”

“I am scared, Yes I know I am,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’m terrified, Ray. But it's because this is my mess. I did this. I don’t deserve you staying. I don't"

His expression softened, but his voice stayed firm. “Maybe you don’t,” he said honestly. “But I still want to. I can't loose you, Jess” he added.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. “You’re too good, Ray,” I whispered. “Too good for me.”

Ray exhaled, rubbing his face. “Jess......”

A sudden knock on the door cut through the heavy silence.

“Jess?” Tee’s voice rang through, light and casual, completely oblivious to the storm inside the room.

I wiped my face quickly as the door pushed open. Tee peeked inside, smiling. “Mom says you should come down to eat.” she said.

Her eyes flicked between me and Ray, and her smile faltered slightly. “Uh... sorry I interrupted ...”

I forced my voice to stay steady. “No,” I said cutting in and getting up, straightening my shoulders. “Ray was just leaving.” I added.

Ray’s eyes snapped to mine. A flicker of something crossed his face, hurt, maybe frustration too but he didn’t move.

Tee hesitated. “Oh… okay,” she said, looking at Ray for confirmation.

Ray didn’t speak for a moment, just kept looking at me like he was trying to figure out what was going through my head. Then, slowly, he nodded. “Right,” he said, his voice unreadable. “I’ll go.” he said.

He turned then and walked toward the door. For a second, I thought he’d leave without another word. But just as he reached the doorway, he stopped.

“I’m not giving up on you, Jess,” he said quietly, without looking back.

Then he was gone.

Tee raised an eyebrow, shutting the door behind him. “Well,” she said, crossing her arms. “That was something.”

I let out a shaky breath, my heart still racing.

Tee tilted her head. “You coming down or do you need a minute to deal with… everything?” she asked.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to nod. “I’ll be down in a minute.” I said.

Tee didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t push. “Alright,” she said, giving me one last look before heading out.

As soon as the door clicked shut, I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

Ray still wanted me.

And I had no idea what to do about that.

I took a deep breath before stepping out of my room. The hallway felt too quiet, like the whole house was holding its breath.

I didn’t rush. I wasn’t ready to face them. But I also knew I couldn’t hide forever.

When I finally reached the dining room, everyone was already seated. My mom, my dad, Tee, and Jared. Their conversation died the moment they saw me.

Tee, ever the peacemaker, gave me a very bright smile. “There she is.” she said.

I forced a small smile and pulled out my chair. My mom was watching me closely, her lips pressed into a thin line. My dad gave me a small nod.

Jared, who had been scrolling through his phone, looked up and muttered, “You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

The clatter of cutlery and the occasional scrape of a chair filled the silence as I started eating. I focused on my plate, taking small bites forcing my self to swallow every bite.

For a while, no one said much. But I could feel my mom’s eyes on me the entire time.

I set my fork down slowly, wiping my mouth with the napkin even though I barely ate anything. The weight of my mom’s stare kept pressing down on me, and I knew I couldn’t avoid it forever.

“You already know everything,” I said finally, my voice even.

My mom’s eyebrows shot up. “Do we?”

I met her gaze. “Yes. The father of my child is Don, just like you all heard at the party.”

Silence.

Tee looked down at her plate, Jared shifted uncomfortably and my dad let out a sigh.

My mom, however, wasn’t letting it go that easily. “And how long were you planning to keep this a secret?” she asked.

I clenched my jaw. “I don’t know.”

She scoffed. “That’s not an answer, Jess.” she said.

“Lisa.” My dad’s voice was calm.

She turned to him, frustrated. “No, Mark, I’m not just going to sit here and act like this isn’t a big deal.” She turned back to me. “You’re pregnant, Jess. This isn’t something you can just hide and hope no one notices.” she added.

“I know that,” I said sharply.

“Do you?” Her voice was sharper now, frustration clearly spilling over. “Because you didn’t tell us. We had to find out like everyone else. You let us stand there, blindsided, while people whispered behind our backs.”

I swallowed hard, my hands tightening into fists in my lap. “I didn’t mean for it to happen that way.” I said.

“But it did,” she shot back. “And now we’re here. And I need to know what’s your plan?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

My plan?

I didn’t have one.

I had barely had time to process everything myself, let alone map out the rest of my life.

When I didn’t answer, my mom shook her head, exhaling sharply. “Unbelievable.”

Tee, sensing the tension rising, jumped in. “Maybe we should all just......"

“No,” my mom interrupted her, standing up. “I need some air.” she said walking out.

She pushed her chair back and walked out of the dining room, her flops clicking against the floor dramatically.

A heavy silence followed her exit.

Jared cleared his throat. “So… uh. Dessert, anyone?” he said awkwardly.

Tee nudged him in the shoulder.

I glanced at my dad, expecting disappointment, anger, anything. Instead, he just studied me for a moment before sighing. “You sure you’re okay?”

I nodded stiffly.

“Alright,” he said, pushing his chair back. “That’s all that matters right now.”

He stood up, squeezing my shoulder briefly before following my mom out.

I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.

Tee gave me a sympathetic look. “That could’ve been worse.” she said.

I scoffed. “Could it?”

Jared leaned back in his chair, stretching. “I mean, no one threw anything. So that’s a win.” he said laughing lightly.

Tee elbowed him but I couldn’t even force a smile.

Because deep down, I knew this wasn’t over.

Not even close.

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