Chapter 3: Xenia

Xenia p.o.v.

I just came out of the bathroom when the sound of a cluck, made me stop at my track. Where was this coming from? Focussing on the sound, I moved towards the stairs as it was coming from the canopy. I glanced at Father Nicholas's room, candles were extinguished, so he might be asleep by now.

I started walking up the stairs, to check the source of sound myself, a stupid move on my behalf... just because I didn't want him to wake up for no good reason. I was thinking too much, perhaps it was just a door or something.

The sound was getting louder and louder as I ascended the stairs. My heart was pounding as the fear overcome me, my hands touched the dagger, hidden inside my thighs when I finally reached the rooftop.

It will be not an assassin, will he? Someone might be a fool to send an assassin when Father Nicholas is here. But he was not here, he is sleeping...By god's heart, what did I get myself into? However, I knew how to combat, no need to get scared, right?

Finally, taking a deep breath, I peeked from behind the door.

A murky silhouette came toward me, I could see the dagger in one of his hands and the other hand was in his pocket. I quickly hid behind the door, closing my eyes, I clamp the lustre tightly. I knew how to fight, I swear I knew, but why my entire body was frozen in the same place, why couldn't I scream?

Hearing the sound of the door opening, a gasp eluded from my lips, and I closed my eyes more tightly like it was going to send that bulky man away.

A warm hand touched my fingers, removing the cross I am holding, I didn't even know when I grasped that. His fingers brushed against my bare upper bosom, and then I remembered I was only wearing a thin silk nightgown that barely covered anything.

His fingers left as soon as they came after removing the locket from my hold. I unknowingly take a step back, my rear hit the cold wall behind me.

Why was this man scenting like Father Nicholas? Or perhaps it was just me because I used his bathing oil?

“ What are you doing here”

My eyes snapped open after hearing him. He was indeed Father Nicholas. I looked at his face, gleaming in the light of candles. His body towered over me in the small space between the walls. Blue eyes looked at me, confusingly. Not once did his eyes move lower and looked at my bare, throbbing body in front of him.

What was I even anticipating? He won't flinch even if, I stood naked in front of him.

I heard the rumours, that years ago an arrogant merchant tried to litigate Father Nicholas that he broke his celibacy by sending some necked women into his chambers. That merchant even called the bishop to show them, but those women left his chamber barely in one moment. They couldn't seduce him and that merchant's plan failed miserably.

Numerous people loved and respected Father Nicholas, but many hated him too, just because he was the Duke of England before.

After taking celibacy and becoming a priest he joined the Roman Catholic Church, so practically he didn't belong to just one kingdom now. He can go and live in any kingdom, wherever the Bishop sends him to.

Like years ago, he was sent to Scotland for me. Obviously, to teach me God's path. They might have never guessed that instead of loving God, I will start loving father…

“ Xenia…”

Father's voice snapped me back to reality. Blinking my eyes, I looked at him. Still struggling to speak due to our proximity. He never stood this close to me. I could even feel his warm breath on my face.

“ Hmmm,” I barely managed to hum in response. My eyes roamed over his broad shoulders and hard chest. He was so big compared to me. How many times, had I imagined his body above me, entangling in me...

“ What are you doing here, princess?”

He asked, then I remember what I was doing there, and came outside from the alluring spell he intoxicated me with.

“ I should have asked the same question to you, father. What were you doing here in the middle of the night with a dagger in your hand? I thought you were some assassin, who came to kill…”

“ Wait… You thought I came to kill you, and you closed your eyes in response?”

He interrupted and looked at me with disbelief.

“ Yes, umm… What am I supposed to do?”

I murmured. Great, now his lecture will start and won't stop until I agree to train again.

It happens all the time. He was obsessed with making me a great warrior. I didn't know why I even needed it. It's not like, I will ever be going to fight in the war…

“ What… Xenia, you should use your dagger. Why do you think, I teach you how to fight?”

He scolded me and I just put my head down in submission. No one ever berated me like that, not even my parents. But it did feel good when Father Nicholas did that.

“ Where is your dagger?” He asked in a stern tone.

“Here” Touching inside my thighs, I unleashed the hidden rapier from there and revealed it to him.

I heard his groan and looked at his face. His eyes flickered between my bare thighs to the dagger, but it was so promptly and abrupt that it felt he wasn't even looking at me there.

But I knew he did, even if it was severely for one second, but he did.

“ So why didn't you use it?” He asked me with a clenched jaw. The sudden change in his voice and breathing didn't go unnoticed by me.

“ Because you are not an assassin, are you, father?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. I wanted to avoid repeating the same training.

I knew how to use a sword, I can even use it with a blindfold, but the thing is, when the right time comes, my body gets frigid, and I forget everything I had learned.

“ But you didn't know it until I spoke up, did you, Queen Xenia?”

I smiled at his proclamation. He always called me Queen Xenia whenever he wanted me to study or train. He knew it will work. I liked it when he called me that. No one even knew my real name, everyone called me by my grandmother's name, Alexa.

And I abhor it with every fibre of my being.

It felt like I didn't have any identity of my own. But he called me by my real name, and respected me, not because I am a future queen. But because of who I really am, just Xenia. Not a princess or queen, not an heir, not a future wife of some strong king. Just Xenia, his Xenia…

I love him so much, but it doesn't mean I will again start that trivial training. It was so exasperating.

“ But…”

“ No buts, we are going to start training again.”

I was thinking of giving him an excuse, but he beat me to it and interrupted me before I said anything.

“ I already know everything-” I whined, but he again stopped me by blowing out all the candles.

It's not fair, he knew I am scared of the dark, so he deliberately used it to show me that I am not worthy of taking care of myself. And perhaps he is right.

Looking in front of me, I tried to see his face but failed. The vicinity is indistinct that I could not see his face, all I could see was the outline of his muscular body and sharp face, which was coming closer and closer, making my heart pound in warmth.

My body shivered when I feel his warm hand meandering over my bare shoulder to arm, stopping at my palm and holding it tightly. My head tilted on its own, allowing him to do whatever he pleased to do with me.

If he pushed me against this wall and takes me right there, then I would have let him do it. But I didn't think it will ever happen.

I gasp when his body touched mine, my breast pressed against his hard chest when he came so close to me that I could feel his entire body touching every inch of me. He brought my hand up to my neck, shoving the sharp dagger on my bare neck.

A shaky breath eluted from my lips when I felt his lips near my ear, his warm breath spread tingles right through my core, making my thighs press together in need.

“ Are you sure you know everything, Xenia? I don't think so…” He husked near my ears. What was he doing? He never behaved like this.

“ Father…” I moaned, feeling his chest pressed against my hard nipples.

“ Shh, No excuses, princess.” He replied, tilting his head, his forehead touched mine as his shaky breath fondled my face, removing the dagger from my neck.

“ You will be married in a hostile kingdom. You don't know how many enemies you will have there…"

He mumbled, in a defeating tone. We never talked about this. That one day, I have to leave him. For five years, we were living together, and never did he behave like this. He always acted like my father, mentor and sometimes friend.

But never did he come this close to me, never did he touch me, feel me, whispered in my ear like this… I wondered what changed now. Perhaps the realisation that in one year, I am going to marry someone, leaving him alone.

“ But you said you will always be with me, aren't you?” I confided.

I could leave this entire kingdom and the throne for him if he just said the word. If he just confessed, for once, that he wanted me as much as I want him. I could leave everything behind me. We could run far away from here…

But the little hope which flicked inside my heart just died, hearing the next words he said.

“ Xenia, I can't always be there with you…”

“I don't know where will Bishop send me after your marriage.”

He said, but I didn't reply anything. I didn't know what to say and what to think about this, about us. The way he was standing this close to me… was this just because he wanted to convince me for training, or was there something more? Did he even realise, what his touches had done to me?

I looked at him confused when he sniffed my hair. What is he doing now?

“ Did you use my bathing oil?”

He asked and I huffed. Does he realise that now?

“ Umm, I liked that.”

“ Next time I will buy for you too”

He replied, making some distance between us. Had he used this as an excuse to avert the topic, thinking that he might have said something, he didn't want to?

“ No, I liked only yours. I love how you smell.”

Touching his hard chest to stop him from leaving, I whispered. I could feel his body tighten under my touch as he gently removed my hands from his chest.

“ I beg your pardon?” He asked in the same sensual British tone that I adored so much... It makes him even more seductive.

“ I said, I want my body to smell like you, father”

I didn't know from where I got this vigour. But I confessed that, this time loudly and clearly for him to hear.

His hold tighten on my arm before he removed it. I couldn't see his face clearly, but the sound of his deep breathing was imitating in the silent realm, making me believe that my words did hit the right spot.

“ Oh…alright, you can use mine then.” He replied precipitously, clearing his throat.

The warmth of his body perished as he left. I heard the rushed footstep echoing in the empty and dark cottage, followed by a harsh sound of a door thud.

What was all this? Was it a dream or verity?

Taking a deep sigh, I stared at the stifle lustre and gloaming stairs, how am I supposed to walk down now? Without falling or being eaten alive by those lurking dark demons. Everyone assimilates this tower surely has some.

And I was certain, they will be pleased to eat my sinful soul alive or endow it to the devil himself…