13

It had been two days since I had seen Serenity. I don't understand what the hell she's doing in Seattle, why couldn't she stay in Illinois? I didn't understand, I didn't want to understand.

Did she come to this university because she knew Hugo and I were studying here? Or did she come for Carl?

It's impossible, what does she have to do with Carl?

They weren't even that close.

The alarm rang but I was already awake because of my thoughts. I take a pillow from under my head, put it over my mouth and scream into it.

Hugo I suppose was already gone, he always liked to waste time around town. Sometimes he was absent for days, he was away in another city, sometimes even in another state.

No matter where she is, I have no reason to care. We're not friends, not since my sister died.

I miss her, sometimes she appears in my dreams, she always has a cut throat and bulging eyes, she always fights with me and asks me why I didn't save her.

Why wasn't I able to save her?

I'm trying to move these thoughts from one side of my brain to another.

I make a coffee, add two teaspoons of sugar and a lot of milk. I liked coffee with milk, lots of milk. I didn't want to feel just that unbearable and strong taste of coffee. That taste combined with a little almond milk was pure art. I make my coffee and take the pack of cigarettes out of the cupboard. I had hidden the package so Hugo wouldn't find it. He didn't scold me or anything, but he took them from me and smoked them.

I go out in front of the building and sit on a nearby bench, admiring the view while sipping coffee. I light the cigarette and bring it to my mouth. I take a slow drag from it and let the smoke escape between my lips.

I touch my lips and notice they are plumper than usual. Probably because I put ice on them last night after stupidly cracking my upper lip.

I finish that coffee goodness and go straight to the bathroom. Today was an important day, I had an exam. I had to look respectable in front of the organizers.

I get in the shower and turn on the water, it flowed smoothly over me and it felt like I was in heaven.

I loved having water running over me, it was one of my favorite things.

After about 10 minutes I finish showering and get dressed. I put on a new hoodie and a pair of black jeans, they went well with the red hoodie.

I do my hair, this time I try something different but I fail to do it right, I give up the idea and do my hair as I usually do.

I leave the apartment and Carl greets me at the door.

"What are you doing here?"

He doesn't even answer and is already sticking his lips to mine.

I remain confused and all I can do is look into his eyes and kiss him back.

He had already started wanting more and I was not in the mood for sex. I push him slowly and say.

"Carl. I want to discuss something important with you." My look had changed from surprised to serious. He also understood that it was not a good thing.

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

"Well I don't know, probably about the fact that you vandalized Lidya's house. That you have a half full criminal record? That I don't seem to know anything right about you anymore."

He freezes.

"How do you know all this stuff?"

"From Khloe."

"That bastard." He mutters and punches the wall, it was an unexpected reaction.

"Finn I can explain."

"No need to explain. I don't want to deal with a criminal." I say with a slight heartache.

He leaves and I stand in front of the door with my heart broken in pieces.

I loved him, I knew I loved him, but he seems to have been unable to be honest from the very beginning.

I watch him go. It probably wasn't the best decision.