But it hurts so much

The next few days passed in a blur of activity. I tried to focus on my studies, on my life, but the weight of my thoughts often pulled me under. Sometimes I spent hours in the library, absorbed in my textbooks and notes, seeking solace in the quiet and the familiarity of my study routine. Other times, I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind drifting back to the past few months.

Harry's betrayal was a wound that refused to heal. I wondered, if Iris hadn't been there, would Harry have stayed loyal? Or would someone else have caught his eye? The thought tormented me, and I often found myself on the verge of tears, questioning why I wasn't enough for him. I felt a deep sense of loneliness, as if there was no one I could truly share my pain with. Karim was a good friend, but some things were too personal, too raw, to be shared with anyone.

Today, Karim came to our usual spot in the library. Initially, I used to study there with Shaan, but with his exams just around the corner, he decided to study by himself at home. Karim had joined me in my study sessions instead. While I delved into my finance textbooks, he immersed himself in military studies, a subject that was completely out of my understanding.

After thirty minutes of half-hearted studying, I decided to take a break. Despite my efforts, focusing on finance was a challenge today. I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through social media, seeking distraction. Karim glanced at me and asked, "You have two phones?"

I looked at him curiously, puzzled by the unexpected question. "No," I replied, shaking my head.

"Then how?" he asked, a hint of confusion in his voice.

"How what?" I responded, still not understanding where this was going.

"How are you online on both accounts at the same time?" he clarified.

I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to mask my surprise. "Magic," I said with a smile.

Karim chuckled. "You're a pro. The FBI really needs you badly."

I laughed at his comment, grateful for the momentary distraction. "So, feeling good?" he asked, his tone more serious now.

I nodded, though things weren't exactly great, they weren't terrible either. "Yeah, all good," I said, trying to sound convincing.

"You miss him?" Karim asked gently.

"Who?" I played dumb, though I knew exactly who he was talking about.

"Your ex?" he clarified, his eyes filled with understanding.

I looked down and sighed. "Well, I guess it's just human nature and brain memories," I said, trying to sound philosophical.

Karim nodded. "I understand. Keep yourself busy, and if you feel like sharing, I'm here. Even I used to miss my ex a lot."

The mention of his ex piqued my curiosity. "Tell me about her," I said, eager to shift the focus away from my own heartache.

Karim leaned back in his chair, a wistful look crossing his face. "Her name was Layla. We met in college, during our first year. She was studying literature, and I was in the military program. We were from two different worlds, but we clicked instantly."

As he spoke, I noticed a soft smile forming on his lips, a mix of fondness and sadness. "Layla was...incredible. She had this way of seeing the world, this curiosity and passion that was infectious. She made everything seem more vibrant, more alive. We spent hours talking about books, life, dreams...everything. She had this light in her, you know?"

I nodded, feeling a pang of envy. "What happened?"

Karim sighed, his eyes distant. "Life happened. I got deployed overseas, and long-distance relationships are hard. We tried to make it work, but the time zones, the lack of communication...it just got too difficult. Eventually, we decided to part ways. It was mutual, but it still hurt."

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

He shrugged, trying to brush it off. "It was a long time ago. I've moved on, but sometimes, when I'm alone, I think about her and wonder what could have been."

I felt a connection with Karim in that moment, a shared understanding of lost love and what-ifs. "Do you ever regret it?" I asked.

Karim shook his head slowly. "No. We made the best decision we could at the time. It wasn't meant to be, and that's okay. I learned a lot from that relationship, and it helped shape who I am today."

His words resonated with me. Perhaps there was a lesson in all of this, something I could take away from the pain of my breakup with Harry. Maybe it wasn't about being enough for someone else, but about being enough for myself.

"How do you move on?" I asked, seeking his wisdom.

Karim smiled gently. "You find new things to focus on. New goals, new passions. And you allow yourself to feel. It's okay to miss someone, but you can't let it consume you."

I pondered his words, grateful for his perspective. "Thanks, Karim. I needed to hear that."

"Anytime," he replied, his eyes warm with understanding. "Now, how about we get back to studying? These books aren't going to read themselves."

I laughed, feeling a bit lighter. "Right, let's get to it."

We returned to our studies, but the atmosphere felt lighter, more comfortable.

Despite the ache of past memories, Karim's presence was a comforting reminder that I wasn't alone and his openness had given me a new perspective, and I felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I could find peace with my past.

Over the next few days, our routine continued. Mornings were dedicated to my usual routine, while afternoons were spent in the library.

Amidst this routine, Harry's texts occasionally interrupted the tranquility. Sometimes, his messages were laden with apologies, pleading for us to reconcile. Other times, he suggested a casual relationship, attempting to renegotiate terms. Each time, I made a conscious decision to ignore them, prioritizing my own emotional well-being over the tumultuous back-and-forth of the past.

Karim and I fell into an easy rhythm, punctuated by moments of shared laughter and easy conversation. Each day, I found it a little easier to focus, a little easier to breathe.

One afternoon, as we sat in our usual spot in the library, I found myself staring at a finance problem without really seeing it. My mind wandered back to Harry and Iris, to the betrayal that had shattered my trust. Karim noticed my distraction and nudged me gently.

"Hey," he said softly. "You okay?"

I nodded, but the tears that welled up in my eyes betrayed me. "I just...I don't understand why I wasn't enough," I admitted, my voice trembling.

Karim's expression softened, and he reached out to place a comforting hand on mine. "It's not about you not being enough," he said gently. "Sometimes, people make choices that have nothing to do with us. It doesn't mean you're lacking in any way."

His words hit home, and I felt a tear escape, rolling down my cheek. "But it hurts so much," I whispered.

"I know," Karim said, his voice full of empathy. "Healing takes time, and it's okay to feel what you're feeling. Just remember that you're not alone. I'm here for you."

I nodded, grateful for his support. "Thank you, Karim. It means a lot."

We sat in silence for a while, the weight of my emotions slowly lifting. I realized that it was okay to lean on others, to share my pain and let them help carry the burden. Karim's presence was a comforting reminder that I wasn't alone in this journey.

As the days turned into weeks, I continued to focus on my studies, but with a renewed sense of purpose. I threw myself into my finance courses, determined to excel and build a future that I could be proud of. Karim and I grew closer, our bond strengthened by the shared moments of vulnerability and understanding.

One evening, as we walked out of the library together, the sun setting in a blaze of orange and pink, Karim turned to me and said, "You know, I think you're stronger than you realize."

I looked at him, surprised by his words. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. You've been through a lot, but you're still here, still fighting. That takes strength."

His words stayed with me, a source of encouragement on the days when the memories of Harry threatened to overwhelm me. Slowly but surely, I started to believe in myself again, to see the possibility of a future that wasn't defined by past heartbreak.

The days passed, and Shaan's exam day finally arrived. He had been studying tirelessly, and I could see the exhaustion in his eyes when he came to the library to give me a quick update before heading to the exam hall.

"Wish me luck," he said with a tired smile.

"Good luck, Shaan. You've got this," I said, giving him an encouraging pat on the back.

Next afternoon, as we were packing up our things, Karim turned to me. "You know, I'm glad we've been spending this time together. It's been good for me too."

I smiled at him. "Me too, Karim. It's nice to have someone to talk to."

He nodded, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "So, any plans for the weekend?"

I thought for a moment. "Not really. Maybe catch up on some reading. You?"

He looked at me, his eyes bright with an unexpected suggestion. "Let's go on a date then."