Chapter 7: Sorrow

"Eren, please, come out. You can't lock yourself there forever, you need to eat." Usami persistently continues to knock on the door, hoping that his friend would listen to his plea but all he gets was silence. He was so surprised to receive a call from Kaiden this morning. He immediately told his grandma that he needed to return and left.

Kaiden came to surprise Eren for a visit early in the morning, breakfast take-out on hand. He merrily rang the doorbell but then found it strange that his childhood friend didn't answer after waiting for a moment. It was odd; usually, his friend would yell 'who is it' or 'coming'. Using the extra key that Eren entrusted to him, Kaiden invited himself in. Everything was silent when he entered. He called out to Eren but there's no answer. He began to worry so he searched for him. He checked the kitchen and noticed the sliding door that leads to the backyard was open. He came to see Eren digging a hole as tears continue to drip on his face and the lifeless body of Camille.

"Still nothing?" Kaiden walked up to Usami along with Rin, who had just arrived not long ago, right behind him. "He needs to eat. He hasn't eaten since this morning." He said with worry in his voice.

Eren always laughs and smiles as he does his best to overcome any problem. Kaiden could never expect his childhood friend would be this vulnerable. The impact of losing Camille….

Usami shook his head. "I doubt he even hears me."

Kaiden crosses his arms. "I don't know what happened. I was just bringing him breakfast and then next, I saw him digging. And Camille…. Who would do such a thing?"

"A heartless fuck is who." Rin said in a low voice. "Camille was such a good girl."

"I don't know what to do to make him feel better." Kaiden admitted.

"I don't think anything's going to help him feel even a little bit better." Rin answered, "I was just like this, you know. I also lost my dogs two years ago. They were my siblings. All we can do for Eren right now is to give him space and be there for him when he needs us."

Eren listened to their conversation across the room, on his bed, hugging Camille's favorite stuffed toy. He hears their footsteps walking away. Eren just stares blankly at the door with red eyes, tear stains on his cheeks, reddish clogged nose, eyes feeling heavy. Memories of his fur child flooded his mind, playing their happy moments on a loop. He remembered the first time he bought the house. Camille was there to celebrate with him back when he had yet to meet Rin and Usami.

He thought he had already exhausted all his tears but his vision became blurry and he felt liquid rolling down his face.

Eren still remembers the time when he first met his dog. It was months after his parents' funeral; it was late at night and he could no longer handle the pain in his chest. He felt like he was suffocating. He ran away from the place where all the memories with his parents painfully reminded him of what he lost.

He ran and ran until he came across this animal shelter, a lot of barking and laughing inside. Slowly, his legs dragged him towards the door entrance. He doesn't know what compels him to reach for the door's handle. Then , it opens. The sounds of barking grew even louder. The old lady who opened the door greeted Eren and offered him to come inside. Eren stares for a second before quickly apologizing and is about to walk away when there's a sudden pour. It startled Eren to back away from the rain as the old lady pulled him into the shelter, smiling at him as she and the other staff welcomed him.

Eren recalls that Camille was the first one to approach him with her tail wagging all the way. His heart aches even more as the image of puppy Camille flashes in his mind. Make it stop. He thought angrily, slamming his first on his chest.

This pain….

Make it stop.

This unbearable pain….

Make it stop.

He slams his fist on against his chest again and again and again. "Just stop! Just make it stop!" He cries out through gritted teeth, filled with anger and resentment. He's angry at himself, resents himself for not being able to be there for Camille when she needed him the most. While he was sleeping so soundly, Camille was….

Then, a thought occurs.

How exactly did Camille die?

She was perfectly fine and healthy; a perfectly balanced meal, playtime and exercise, and trip to the vet clinic for her monthly check ups. Camille was a healthy dog so she couldn't have died from an illness. There were no signs of forced entry that a burglar had entered the house; everything was still in place.

With all these thoughts, there were more questions than answers and it drew Eren more mad.

Was this his punishment for losing faith, for turning his back on the big guy who hides himself in the clouds when he lost his parents?

Is that it!

Eren muffled his cry into the stuffed toy. "You already took everything from me when You killed my parents." He utters between sobs, "Now, you also took my baby girl from me. If You want to punish someone, punish me, not my little Camille. Bring her back. Bring her back to me." Eren hugs the toy more tightly into his chest. "Bring her back to me. I don't care what entity is listening, I don't care whether you're a demon or the Devil himself. Just bring my little girl back to me."

Eren continues to cry as he lets himself fall into the bed.

~

Eren didn't realize he had fallen asleep, still hugging Camille's toy. His stomach growls in hunger. Right, he remembers not having any food since morning. He checks his phone and sees it's already past midnight. His rumbling stomach demands for food again but he doesn't feel like eating so he tried to ignore it and shut his eyes.

Few tosses and turns, he stared at the ceiling, couldn't get back to dreamland. Great. Just when I wanted to be anywhere other than this reality, I dreamt nothing. His body begged to be fed again.

Eren plans on ignoring his hunger but he immediately shot up when there was a sudden knock on the door. Were Usami and Rin still awake? That couldn't be, he thought. They have school tomorrow. He reaches to turn on his lamp shade, eyes focus on the door. "Rin? Usami?" He called out, "Kaiden?"

There's no answer.

The silence was deafening. For a while, Eren listens. He got off the bed and slowly walked towards the door. When he opens it, there's nothing but a dark and empty hallway; no one outside his room. This made him uncomfortable. Just as he closes the door, he jumps back and falls onto the floor when there's a sudden loud bang on the door.

He cursed under his breath, staring at the door in fright. He called out for Usami and Rin again. He slowly got up and headed to the door again, hesitating to open.

"Eren, are you alright in there?" Eren let out a sigh of relief when he heard Rin's voice. "I heard a thud, did you fall?" The doorknob twists. "Can you please open the door? I wanna make sure you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry yo—" His mouth dried up when he opened the door. He looked around. No lights are on, and there's no one outside his room. Eren feels the hair on his body stand. With a shaken hand, he steps back into his room and closes the door. That's when he realized he didn't lock the door when he heard Rin's voice. Whatever was twisting the knob could have entered his room but didn't.

Eren didn't sleep that night.

~

"You look kinda pale, Eren, my dude." Hisaki pointed out the minute he stepped foot into the teacher's office and saw Eren typing away on his laptop. "You okay? Do you need help going to the infirmary? Maybe you should have taken the day off." He placed his teaching materials on his table before coming up to Eren's and feeling the latter's forehead with his hand. "You do feel a little bit."

"No, I am fine, really." Eren shook his head, gently pushing away Hisaki's hand. "I couldn't afford to waste time. I need to double check these files for the exam."

"The exams aren't until next week, you know. Dude, you still have time—"

"I'd rather finish these paperworks earlier than the intended time instead of having a panic attack later and pull up an all nighter. Besides, I have nothing else to do. My kids are busy preparing and practicing for the programs for Valentines. Have I told you I don't like Valentines?" Eren made a disgusting look before flipping a page of the book and made a correction on his laptop.

"Yeah, my listeners are busy as well. Ha, I bet my children will beat yours." Hisaki smirks playfully.

"Don't make me laugh. My kids will wipe the floor with yours." Eren forced himself to grin, trying to act like himself.

Hisaki made a laugh. "Anyways, I'm going down to the cafeteria. Need me to get you anythin'?"

Eren shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm fine." He declines, giving Hisaki a small smile as he continues to work.

"Suit yourself." Hisaku shrugs, "I'll come back later."

And Eren was left alone once again. His smile disappeared. It's so quiet that even the sounds of the clicking of keyboards and the blowing of air from the air conditioner can be heard. He sighs, and rested his head on the desk, facing to the right that his eyes unavoidably came on to the picture of his beloved Camille. She looks so happy in the picture, now she's gone. Eren bit his lower lip as he felt his eyes tearing up. He tried to stop himself from crying.

He shot up straight, and slapped both his cheeks. He pushed the memories back, scolding himself that he needs to focus on his work right now. A tear escapes but he quickly wipes it away. Don't cry here, stupid.

Eren didn't know how long he has been working but he's finally finished with the double checking and correcting the files. He shuts off his laptop and slumps back onto his chair. He pinches the bridge of his nose, relieving the strains on his eyes a bit.

He heard something suddenly move, making him jump on his seat, startling him. His eyes roam the room, inspecting everything but nothing's out of place. Did he just imagine it? He felt a chill like a finger brushing right on his spine. Then, Eren felt a breath right on his ear.

His soul almost left his body when the door suddenly opened and in came Hisaki with Syuu. Hisaki was talking loudly while Syuu tried to ignore whatever co-worker was talking about. They turn to the frozen Eren and their expression changes into shock and confusion. Syuu noticed the scared look on Eren's face.

"Eren, what's wrong?" Syuu inquired as he paced towards Eren, slightly shoving Hisaki to the side. The latter looked at his friend like he had just been betrayed and replaced. Syuu just ignored him. "Are you okay?"

Eren opens his mouth to say something but no words come out. His face heated up in a slight red when Syuu placed a hand on his forehead.

"You seem warm. Maybe you should go to the clinic and take a rest. I'll take you there myself." Syuu offered.

"I-I'm fine, Syuu." Eren reassures him, "You guys scared me, is all. I didn't hear you talking outside which is strange since you're with a loudmouth." He whispers the last part to himself.

"We scared you?" Hisaki pointed at himself and Syuu, looking offended. "Dude, you scared us. You said you wouldn't be leaving your work unfinished but we saw you at the cafeteria just a while ago. And now you're here? I didn't know you could run that fast."

Eren was puzzled with what Hisaki just said. "I'm sorry, what? What are you talking about?"

"Weren't you at the cafeteria earlier? Syuu and I saw you there, just sitting alone on a bench." Hisaki stated.

Eren could feel the hairs on his body stand. Why does this phenomenon sound familiar to him? "You're just messing with me." He turns to Syuu and jokingly says "I think Hisaki is a bad influence. I suggest you stay a distance away from him, Syuu."

"Eren, he's telling the truth. We did see you at the cafeteria not long ago." Syuu defended his friend. "We're not messing with you."

"Yeah. We even tried calling out to you but you didn't respond." Hisaki inserted, "We thought you just couldn't hear us since it was crowded so we just took our leave."

A frown was placed on Eren's face. "Seriously, I am not in the mood for jokes. Whatever you're saying is nonsense because one: I didn't leave my desk; and two: I finished my task just now." Eren explained, emphasizing on the now, completely denying whatever Syuu and Hisaku are claiming. "Maybe you had confused me with someone."

"No." Syuu immediately deferred, "I don't know about this talking-machine" — "Hey!" Hisaki cut in but was ignored — "but I would never mistake you for someone else."

Eren raises a brow at Syuu. "I don't believe you." He challenged, arms crossed.

Syuu sighs. "When you first came to work here, who was assigned to look after you as your senior?" He questions in a serious tone, placing both his hands on both sides of the armrests, trapping Eren on his chair, and maintaining eye-contact.

Eren was taken aback with Syuu's sudden action. "Y-you were." He finally manages to say.

"Exactly. I have looked after you since your first day in this institute. I have witnessed how hard you tried to get along with everyone, how you always stick to your values, how very considerate and caring yet strict you are with your students, and how much effort you put into your lessons. I know Hisaki was the first friend you made here so I know you wouldn't just ignore him or anyone in that matter. Also...." Syuu tucks away strands of stray hair from Eren's face. "I would know this turquoise hair anywhere so no, I did not mistake you for someone else."

Eren was speechless, he didn't know what to say back. He didn't expect Syuu would pay this much attention to him. He sinks into his seat as Syuu stares at his lips. He could feel his heart hammering against his chest as Syuu slowly leaned down to him. "S-Syuu?"

"I hope you fellas haven't forgotten I'm still here."

Hisaki's annoyed voice snapped both Eren and Syuu out of their trance, making Syuu to pull away and faked a cough while Eren could only look away, too embarrassed to look at Hisaki and wishing to bury himself in a hole. Hisaki gave them an unimpressed look, clearly unhappy that his friends forgot his flamboyant presence but he also can't help the small smile forcing its way on his lips. He guessed his quiet friend isn't so quiet after all when it comes to Eren.

Then, there's a knock on the door, causing the 3 teachers to turn their heads and see Usami and Rin by the door.

"Oh, sorry, are we interrupting something?" Usami had this teasing grin on his face while Rin wiggled his eyebrows at Eren who stood up from his chair and wanted to protest.

"Yeah, you came at a bad time, listeners. You actually missed Syuu's grand confession to your flustered friend over there." Hisaki joshed, pointing at Eren with his thumb. "They even forgot my existence at that moment. And listen to this: they almost kis—" Hisaki stopped whatever he's saying mid sentence when he feels a hand on his shoulder and a murderous aura behind him. Slowly, he looks over his shoulder and sees a displeased and aggravated Syuu who looks like he's ready to destroy anything, him more specifically. In fear for his life, Hisaki runs to hide behind Rin and Usami. "Protect me!" He pleaded dramatically.

"You're using us, the students, as human shields now?" Rin laughs, "Aren't teachers supposed to protect us?"

"You two wouldn't have to worry because he won't kill you but he will kill me!"

Eren sighs at the hilarious scene happening. He stole a glance at Syuu, his cheeks feeling warm and his heart not slowing down its fast pace. He bit his lips. What does Syuu intended to do if Hisaki hadn't intervened? Eren shook his head, dismissing whatever idea he had in mind of what could have happened. He cleared his throat, gaining the others' attention. Let's ignore what happened just now. "Alright, enough fooling around. Hisaki, don't you still have exam papers to do?" Eren motioned at the stack of papers on the other's desk.

Hisaki sheepishly scratched his head. "Ah, right."

Even with a visible blush, Eren forced himself to look at Syuu. "And, Syuu, don't you still have class in a few minutes?" He reminded him as calmly as he could. When his eyes made contact with Syuu's, he immediately diverted them to his two friends. "And, you two, you will head home first. I still need to decorate my classroom for Valentine's Day." Eren groans at the mention of his least favourite holiday. "Here are my keys" He tosses the keys to Usami.

"What about you?" Rin asks.

"I'll just grab a cab later." Eren replies nonchalantly, gathering the materials he needed on his desk.

"We can stay and help you." Rin suggested, adjusting his bag on his back."We still have time—"

"Thanks but I'm pretty sure that you two still have homeworks or other school related projects to do. So you head home first. And do me a favor; can you please feed Camille? Since I will be late—" Eren didn't finish his sentence as he remembers. Camille's gone.

When Eren stopped talking, Syuu noticed his co-worker's change in demeanor and the two young men's expressions. He didn't like that look, especially not on Eren's face. Syuu looks at Hisaki who shrugs his shoulders, obviously having no idea what's wrong. Syuu was about to ask.

Eren quickly forces a smile and gathers up the materials needed and carries them. "Anyways, you two head home first, okay? And don't let Rin drive please." He tried to sound cheerful as he normally does so as to cover his sadness. "I better go. I need to dismiss my students and start decorating my classroom." Eren didn't wait for a reply, and left the office.

"What is wrong with him?" Syuu inquires, turning to the two teenagers, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, Ren-ren isn't acting like himself." Hisaki agrees.

Usamia and Rin exchange looks before the latter decides to tell them what happened. "Eren found Camille dead under his bed yesterday."

Hisaki couldn't help the shock on his face as he heard the news. "What?"

"What happened?" Syuu couldn't believe it either. The first time Eren ever mentioned and showed him a picture of Camilled, he could tell how much Eren really, really loves his dog.

"We don't know." Usami answers, "We went home to our families for the weekend the night before, then we got a call from Kaiden first thing in the morning and he told us the news—"

"Who's Kaiden?" 

"Um, he's Eren's childhood friend. But anyways! He's the one who called Rin and I about Camille. We immediately went back and Eren…. He completely locked himself in his room. He wouldn't talk to us, he wouldn't even eat. He hasn't eaten anything since yesterday."

"No wonder my dude looks so pale and tired today which is unlike him." Hisaki says mostly to himself. "When he declined going to the cafeteria with me, I found it odd but I thought he just wanted to focus on his work."

Rin shakes his head. "No. This is how he distracts himself just so he wouldn't think of Camille."

The frown on Syuu's face is paired with uneased. "Trying to ignore the problem wouldn't do him any good. It might even make things worse."

~~~~

"Uh, shit. I didn't think it would take that long to decorate." Eren curses under his breath as he hastily walks through the now dim lit and silent halls of the school. He didn't expect that decorating the classroom would actually take a lot of time. He did receive some help from his students, though.

As he passes the stairs, he comes to a stop and looks up the staircase. He thought he saw a shadow from the corner of his eye. It's just my imagination running wild, nothing else. Eren convinced himself. There's no way any kids would still be roaming these halls. He was about to walk away when he heard giggling. It was coming from up the stairs. Gripping his bag over his shoulder, Eren hesitantly walks up the stairs. He was nearing the second floor when he stopped.

Everything is eerily silent, so silent that his footsteps echo and he could hear his heartbeat. When he looks up, his breath hitches almost like it's difficult to breathe. His eyes widen in fright as he makes out a silhouette of a child standing atop the stairs. With a shaky voice, Eren tried to muster up the courage to try and act unafraid. He observes the child figure as he takes a closer look and is shocked to realize that the child looks like him when he was still a child.

Eren knew it's not human, and it's not him; it only looks like his younger self.

He couldn't believe his eyes. He let out a sudden yell as it lunged at him. Eren instinctively backed away to evade, then he found himself looking at the ceiling as he felt his body falling. He missed his step.

He braced himself. Eren felt the painful impact mostly on his shoulder and hips as his body uncontrollably rolled down onto the floor. He groans with pain.

His eyes unintentionally travel back up the stairs. This child — this entity or whatever you call it — stood there and behind it was a vast darkness. It tilts its head to the side as it smiles sinisterly. It gives Eren goosebumps. He wanted to run but he couldn't move body. It's like something is holding him down, paralyzing him. His fear grew more intense as he saw a dark, long-clawed hand emerge from the darkness behind the smiling entity. It swiftly grabbed the child entity by the neck and raised it up, making it choke. It tries to squirm its way out of the hold. Then, the hand yanks it back into the darkness.

Still cannot move, his eyes roam around the place, afraid that it would suddenly appear again. Eren flinches, terrified at the sound of what seems to be a scream of a hurt child echoes through the halls. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing. He heard heavy footsteps coming down the staircase. He is starting to breathe hard as he feels like the airway of his lungs are being blocked.

Eren shut his teared and reddish eyes in dismay as he still couldn't get his body to move. He kept his eyes close, scared of what he might see.

Then, the footsteps stopped.

For a moment, everything is still and silent. Thinking that maybe this nightmare is over, he opened his eyes and he regretted it immediately. Beside him kneels the dark man from his dreams. This is not real! Eren wanted to scream at himself to move. He feels a thumb wiping his tears.

With trembling lips, he opened his mouth to call for help but nothing came out. Help! Someone, please, help me!

"Eren, is that you?" Then, he heard his name being called by a familiar voice.