Chapter 22 Self

Ybur crawled out of the city and slipped into a crevice in the ground to begin meditation.

Once one became a Vocational Practitioner, meditation was a daily task. The continuous depletion of the Mysterious Source made the growth of Transcendents a race against time. The constant sense of urgency, coupled with the resulting intense "desire," powered Vocational Practitioners' advancement.

Conversely, losing this desire could cause the power of a Vocational Practitioner to steadily decline.

Take, for example, the dwarf Pan, whose aspiration to become Transcendent extinguished after an encounter with a nightmare creature. Such a choice might be innocuous to an ordinary person, but for a Transcendent, it was undoubtedly a self-imposed dead end.

In a sense, it would be more accurate to say that Vocational Practitioners were not so much chasing power as they were being driven forward by it.

Its body wriggled twice, and the narrow crevice, along with the quiet and dark surroundings, gave it a sense of safety. After carefully observing for a moment and ensuring the area was safe, Ybur gradually retracted the Eye Points on its body and shifted attention toward itself.

It eased its spirit, gradually adjusting its state. The pull from the Dream Realm descended slowly, like an ancient call, beckoning to it.

Upon opening its eyes, the first layer of the Dream Sea, Primogenital World, appeared before it.

Ybur settled its thoughts, sat cross-legged in a corner of its own dream, and began to gather the Mysterious Source.

...The gathering speed of the Heart's Mysterious Source had clearly quickened compared to before.

Ybur pondered thoughtfully.

It was unclear whether Ruby had done it on purpose or if Ruby was inherently unreliable, but many details about meditation and gathering the Mysterious Source were not clearly explained in the book. Ybur only knew roughly what to do; the main reason it still had the confidence to teach Cherie and the Karlo sisters was that... they knew even less.

It was like a blind cat stumbling upon a dead mouse.

Now, with the increased speed of gathering the Heart's Mysterious Source, Ybur immediately thought of the previous battle with the nightmare creature.

During the fight, it had a moment of self-affirmation. Although it felt confused and extremely uncomfortable after the hard clash and Mental Shock with the nightmare, it had a sense of enlightenment in its heart. If anything could accelerate its gathering of the Mysterious Source, it had to be that event.

Ybur attempted to deduce the secret to gathering the Mysterious Source from this experience.

It was known that the gathering of the Mysterious Source depended on the Vocational Practitioner's self-awareness. The deeper and clearer the awareness, the faster the gathering would be.

And the greatest insight from that previous battle was...

...it realized it was utterly unique.

A jolt struck Ybur's heart. Indeed, it had been troubled by this matter for a long period before.

It was an experimental creation by Ruby, and the goal Ruby gave it was... something grand, yet a bit inexplicable.

Become the Demon King? What did that truly mean?

Ybur actually lacked a sense of identification with this mission. Nonetheless, Ruby—the somewhat unreliable creator whom it had met only once—had certainly made a deep impression on Ybur's heart. Just as a hatchling would consider the first being it sees as its mother, Ruby was the first person it saw upon gaining self-awareness, and indeed, Ruby was its legitimate Creator.

Moreover, its earliest memories also came from Ruby.

Ybur had a deep dependence on Ruby in his heart.

Therefore, the inexplicable mission Ruby had left behind was like a curse that trapped him.

"Who am I, what am I supposed to do?" These two questions kept surfacing in Ybur's mind over and over again. Not only was his future uncertain, his self-awareness was also shrouded in confusion. The name Ruby was like a thin rope tying down an elephant—it could break free with a single tug, yet Ybur never seemed to summon the strength to break away.

He was acutely aware that he was not human, yet he always subconsciously thought of himself as one. The loneliness of lacking kin always surged up within him. When he sneaked into the city earlier, was it really just for books? Perhaps, there was also a bit of the desire to "find kin."

It was not about finding other Slimes—the mindless beings were not considered kin to Ybur.

He felt he should be a "person."

But even after interacting with the sisters in a ghostly and tricky way, the loneliness in Ybur's heart was not significantly alleviated. He couldn't even fully accept his own monster identity, and every time he thought about this, he felt a faint pain in his heart.

However, now, as he recalled that battle, as he remembered the pride and self-confidence that surged within him in that instant, Ybur suddenly seemed to find a bit of himself again.

Yes, he was a unique existence. There had never been a Slime like him in the past world. Indeed, he was a "monster," but within him lay human wisdom, reason, and a surprising capacity for growth that evoked his own astonishment. And above all, he possessed the invincible God Secret Source! Since he had come to this world, why should he always think about sharpening himself to fit the roles others had set for him?

He was clearly Ybur! Why should he be bothered by his uniqueness? On the contrary, he should be proud!

A beautiful wave of self-confidence surged from Ybur's heart. The Mysterious Source of the heart that was forming seemed to be touched again.

Ybur then thought: So, about that mission from Ruby...

Such things are trivial, right!

Although it's unclear why Ruby seemed to harbor such great malice toward the entire world, since that part of her memory couldn't provide answers anyway, he couldn't empathize. So, what did it have to do with him? Only tools are born with a clear purpose, and he... definitely did not want to become just another tool!

Blame Ruby for giving him too much self-awareness!

And besides...

Ybur savored the memories Ruby had given him.

The young Ruby appeared to be a rebellious girl full of defiance as well.

In the end, it's all Ruby's fault.

Ybur thought to himself quite justifiably, since I'm full of defiance too! So let's just put aside things like becoming the Demon King... for discussion another day!

He was like a child playing a prank for the first time, intoxicated with his little act of rebellion, so much so that he almost laughed out loud.

A pulsating Mysterious Source of the heart formed. Ybur looked down and saw the surface of the Mysterious Source reflecting his current appearance, including the silly smile on his face.

It seemed to tarnish the image of the divine Slime.

Ybur immediately coughed twice, pulled a serious face, and pretended to be a bit more solemn.