Chapter 24 Lin Xiaolu's Memories

That night, the gray-black sky was as if stained with ink, the moon appeared hazy, and the stars were dim.

Lin Xiaolu lay on her side by the window, curled up, quietly gazing into the boundless night sky.

Mork did not know when he had fallen asleep on the head of the bed, his back was covered with translucent wings resting on his shoulders, and his pink fluff trembled slightly, making not a single sound.

From the floor beside the bed came the occasional faint sound of fabric rubbing against each other—clearly, someone was tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

"Xiaolu, are you asleep?"

Suddenly, Xia Liang's voice rose in the dark room.

She did not get a response; Lin Xiaolu remained silent, as if she heard nothing.

"I mean, this outfit is a bit tight, it feels constrictive when I try to sleep."

But Xia Liang was never one to care for such things, speaking to herself when no one else would: "So can I sleep naked?"

"...No."

Stirred by this conversation, Lin Xiaolu's night-time melancholy was disrupted as she drooped her eyelids and vetoed Xia Liang's suggestion.

She initially rejected the idea offhand and then, realizing what Xia Liang meant by "the clothes are tight," she felt even more annoyed: "Wearing my clothes, sleeping in my room, where do you get so many requests from? Believe it or not, I'll make you sleep on the sofa in the living room?"

"Sleep naked?" Xia Liang blinked, her cheeks flushing.

"Of course with clothes on!" Lin Xiaolu gritted her teeth.

"I was just joking, besides, it wouldn't be good if your family saw."

"You do realize this is my house, right?"

The jokes were only half-said, and for a moment both fell silent.

After a while, Xia Liang, hugging the blanket to herself and tightening her arms around it, closed her eyes:

"You know, Xiaolu."

"What now?" Having already opened her mouth to speak, Lin Xiaolu couldn't pretend to be silent anymore, so she could only respond irritably to Xia Liang.

"Are you and your dad on bad terms?"

Xia Liang's question froze Lin Xiaolu's expression on her face.

With her back to Xia Liang, Lin Xiaolu moved her face closer to the inside of the pillow, her voice became even more muffled: "Can you tell?"

"Mhm, I felt it."

"Is that so, but it's none of your business, right?"

When it came to this topic, Lin Xiaolu's voice became a bit hoarse: "Or are you also going to lecture me?"

"Not at all."

Xia Liang said softly in the night: "I was just a bit curious."

"Curious about what?"

"Your dad should be concerned about you, he's actually quite good to you."

"...How do you figure? Just because you exchanged a few words with him?"

"Not the words, but the attitude and expressions."

At this point, Xia Liang's tone became rather serious: "Whether parents truly care about their children or not can be seen in these small details."

At this, there came another prolonged silence.

Lin Xiaolu did not say a word, seemingly lost in thought, while Xia Liang also chose not to say more at this time.

After a long while, as if having decided on something, Lin Xiaolu spoke: "Does he seem like this now?"

Xia Liang was puzzled by the question: "Now? Was he different before?"

"Of course."

In the dark, Lin Xiaolu's expression was unclear, but her voice seemed to be squeezed out of her throat, carrying an indescribable resentment:

"If you haven't seen it, you can't understand it, the truly unreasonable part about him. That cold, heartless face is chilling."

"It's been the same since I was little, work, work, work, if not overtime then socializing. When he was at home, he just had a stern face, as if he was never happy about anything, as if he didn't care about anything. The same went for me, he'd only relentlessly enroll me in tutoring classes, buy me practice books, and then tell me to study hard."

"At that time, Mom would always say to empathize with him, to forgive him. Even if she prepared a table full of dishes for a holiday and he'd call to say he wasn't coming home to eat, she still had no complaints."

"And then one day, she died."

"Everything was fine the day before, but the next day he suddenly told me Mom was dead, from now on it would just be him and me, and then he neither gave a reason nor provided a conclusion. I asked him to let me see Mom for the last time, guess what his answer was?"

Apparently not expecting Lin Xiaolu to throw a question her way at this moment, Xia Liang reacted slightly: "Uh... your dad didn't agree?"

"Hmph, what he said was 'Forget about her.'"

Lin Xiaolu snorted, but there was no smile on her face: "He casually packed away her belongings, casually hired a few people, and casually held a funeral, as if everything was abruptly over just like that.

"Then, he disappeared halfway through the memorial service, found in an embrace with a young woman from who knows where."

"Was he really working outside? Did he really consider Mom at all? I don't know, but I was very worried, and very scared. When I asked him for a reason, he'd avoid the topic; even if I cried in front of him, he showed no reaction, only saying stuff like he was also very upset and other nonsense."

"Ultimately, we argued. I can't even remember what we both said, I only remember that I really told him all my anger and incomprehension, and then he slapped me."

"What did he say? 'You think I'm doing all this for whom?' Is that what he said?"

"For whom, really? Certainly not for me, and certainly not for Mom, right? Otherwise, why would he be cuddling up with other women at home just a few days later?"

"It seemed like they were so loving on normal days, but as soon as she truly passed away, he immediately changed his attitude. Is this what Mom meant by understanding him?"

"And then I ran away from home."

At these words, Xia Liang's eyes widened slightly.

As if suddenly realizing something, she looked in the direction where Lin Xiaolu was, but in the pitch-black room, Lin Xiaolu was still turned away from her.

"So I won't ask you why you wanted to run away from home. I know under what circumstances a person would want to escape."

Her voice was muffled, the nameless anger having receded at some point, though it was unclear whether it had disappeared or lay hidden deeper within.

"I stayed at a classmate's house for many days, during that time I didn't go to school, just sat silently by myself."

She continued with her past experience: "And then on some day, it seemed like my classmate's parents contacted the school, the school informed him where I was, and he came looking for me."

"That was probably the first time I saw him so disheveled, dark circles under his eyes like a ghost, unshaven beard, unruly hair, not wearing his usual business suit that he wore all year, just a shabby jacket and he came looking."

"He said 'Let's go home.' At that point, I thought to myself, we've come to this, what reason do I have to go back with you?"

"But seeing him like that, I don't know why, but my heart softened. Was it sympathy? Or just feeling wronged? By the time I came to my senses, I had already taken his hand as if possessed by spirits."

"Since then, it has been like it is now; I hardly interact with him, he seems to be making up for something, and has transformed into a 'good father,' but that's all."

As she came to this point, it seemed that she was relieved having finished what she wanted to say, the emotion dissipating, and she took a long breath, slowing down her speech.

"That's it, it ends here."

Lin Xiaolu closed her eyes: "Are you satisfied with this boring story?"

Xia Liang didn't answer right away. She didn't realize when she loosened her grip on the blanket, she seemed to remember something, her mind drifting.

After a while, she lowered her eyelids and responded softly: "Yeah."

"Then that's good."

Lin Xiaolu pulled the blanket over herself, covering her face halfway: "I'm going to sleep now."

The room was quiet, and after a while, steady breathing sounds came from Lin Xiaolu's bed, leaving Xia Liang alone, wide awake, lying on the mattress on the floor.

She no longer fussed over the slightly tight clothes on her body, nor did she care about the bedding she and Lin Xiaolu had put together, which had ended up rather poorly.

She seemed to say something, but the words were audible only to herself.

Eventually, in the dim midnight, Xia Liang also slowly succumbed to sleep.