1644 - So are you happy? (3)

How long had the silence lasted?

Jang Ilso broke it first, sighing as he sat down again.

"Let's stop this, Gakmyung. I didn't expect us to argue like this."

Ho Gakmyung looked at Jang Ilso without a word.

"Your concern is valid. I admit I was hasty and lacked composure. But I haven't been thoughtless."

Jang Ilso's face showed deep fatigue.

"The best way to increase our chances isn't clinging to the impossible but crushing them quickly."

"....."

"So don't make it sound like I'm dreaming."

"Is that really your stance?"

"Seems like it."

Jang Ilso's gaze softened, resembling a crescent moon.

Ho Gakmyung met his eyes.

Despite the gentleness, Jang Ilso's sharpness remained just a façade. Ho Gakmyung felt an overwhelming sense of futility.

"If that is your wish, I will obey."

Ho Gakmyung's voice grew calm.

"But may I ask one more thing, Ryeonju-nim?"

Jang Ilso hesitated.

Usually, he'd say, "No need to hesitate, ask anytime." But now, those words didn't come easily, despite being his habit.

"Ryeonju-nim, do you believe in this?"

Jang Ilso couldn't answer.

It was a seemingly vague question, one that could easily be dismissed.

But Jang Ilso felt as if he was suffocating.

"I ask because this path was supposed to be your goal and direction."

Ho Gakmyung's voice became more composed.

"Do you remember Park Sa?"

"Of course."

"Even after taking revenge through Ryeonju-nim's grace. I always thought of him. Because I couldn't understand it at all. Why did someone who already had everything and not enough time to enjoy it go to the trouble of arousing resentment by trampling on a humble place like my family with his own hands? Why would someone who wa once so great do such foolish thing?"

"....."

"I couldn't understand it back then, but now I do."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

Ho Gakmyung nodded. A brief curiosity flickered in Jang Ilso's eyes.

"So, what was it? What did you find out? Why did that pig trample on your family? Do you think there could've been a reason other than just being blinded by greed?"

"There was none."

Ho Gakmyung shook his head.

"There was no reason in the first place.No, it wasn't necessary."

Jang Ilso's expression twisted.

"At some point, wealth became not a means but an end for him. 'Even if I can't use it until the moment I die and it will rot in my hands, I've to somehow gather more and embrace it'."

"....."

"So, it didn't matter who the opponent was. He killed and took simply because there was wealth to be had."

"That was all there was to it."

Jang Ilso, who had been silent, finally spoke.

"So, you're saying ..."

The mouth that had been opened closed again. But it only took a little time, and the words finally came out of Jang Ilso's mouth.

"Are you saying it's the same as that pig?"

A cold wind swept between them. Ho Gakmyung exhaled and rubbed his cold fingertips.

"Not exactly. I'm just curious."

"About what?"

"What does Ryeonju-nim mean when he says he will put Kangho under his feet before everythin g becomes meaningless? Do you mean that there is something that needs to be accomplished, or do you mean that even if it means nothing, obtaining Kangho itself will mean something to you, Ryeonju-nim."

"....."

"....That's all."

After a long silence, Ho Gakmyung bowed deeply.

"I will take my leave."

"....."

"I hope you get some sleep. No matter how unmanned you are, there is a limit to your men tal strength."

Ho Gakmyung turned toward the door. Jang Ilso called after him.

"Gakmyung."

Ho Gakmyung stopped but didn't turn around. Jang Ilso who wa quietly looking at his back, had difficulty parting his lips that would not part.

"If so what you're going to do?"

"....."

"If I, too, am just a moth attracted to the fire of Kangho, if I am a foolish bastard who approaches a meaningless flame and burns himself... What are you going to do? Are you going to criticize and point fingers at me? Otherwise, are you going to spit on me and turn away because I've changed?"

The moment Jang Ilso finished speaking, Ho Gakmyung turned around. And then he just stared at Jang Il-so with his always calm eyes. Ho Gakmyung said, looking at the deep shadows cast on laters makeup-free face.

"The day..."

"....."

"Ever since the day you granted my most insignificant request, I have never even imagined Ieaving you."

"....."

"If the day comes when you are abandoned by everything in the world and struggle in the worst place... I will definitely be the last person left by your side."

That was a sufficient answer. However, Ho Gakmyung added a word to that statement.

"Because we decided to do that from the beginning."

"....."

"Rest well."

With a deep bow, Ho Gakmyung left.

Jang Il-so, who was looking with open eyes at the door that Ho Gakmyung had closed, reflexively stretched out his hand and found a bottle of alcohol.

However, the only things that reached my fin gertips were the shattered remains and the alc ohol that soaked the datak.

"Haha..."

A self-deprecating laugh escaped from his f aded lips.

"Under...." [Don't know what does that mean.]

But even that laughter could not last forever. He grabbed the broken bottle and the spilled liquor. Sharp pieces of porcelain dug into his hand, and thick blood mixed with the clear alcohol.

As if he was completely unaware of the pain, Jang II-so slowly moved his gaze to the side.

His face was dimly reflected in light. His face, which was always gorgeous with a variety of decorations and make-up ranging from flashy to bizarre, is nowhere to be seen. All I can see is a person who looks like he might break a part at any moment.

Cracked lips, dark shadows under the eyes, and a nervously distorted expression.

In the end, he threw the bottle piece in his hand. With a bang, the fairy tale that had been leaning against the lamp tumbled to the floor.

"Haha, what a shame...."

Was it really so wrong?

Jang Ilso had never been satisfied. He always wanted more.

How was he different now?

Is it so bad to be a moth?

Even if it means burning up, isn't it better than living as a pig scrambling for scraps?

He believed it. He always believed it.

But to join forces with them for survival!

Jang Ilso clutched his stomach, the thought alone making him sick. Fighting alongside them turned his insides.

He knew it might be the best strategy, but his body, his soul, rejected it.

The deep-seated hatred and rage wouldn't cool.

He had burned half of Shaolin. He had destroyed countless righteous sects.

Facing them only fueled his fury.

"Ha, Gakmyung, you were right."

Ho Gakmyung's words were right, but they stung.

Survival by any means was Jang Ilso's way.

But if that survival meant losing his identity as Jang Ilso, what was the point?

Standing with them would mean becoming what he despised.

"Gakmyung."

Jang Ilso's laughter turned bitter as he looked up at the ceiling.

Ho Gakmyung's eyes, filled with disappointment and a growing rage, lingered in his mind.

Those small, mixed emotions boiled within him.

The mixture of small emotions in those eyes made Jang Ilso's body feel heavy and damp, like soaked cotton.

A strange sense of déjà vu arose.

Though it seemed unlikely, those eyes trembling his fingertips felt familiar to Jang Ilso.

Nothing has changed. He hasn't changed at all.

'Gakmyung...'

If there's something to be gained, he will obtain it. He would never give up what he can gain now for an uncertain future.

A small lantern flickered weakly beside Jang Ilso, who exhaled lightly.

"Commander."

Ho Gakmyung brushed past the greeting people, as cold as the wind.

Though their expressions changed slightly, Ho Gakmyung didn't notice.

'Ryunjoonim.'

Unconsciously, Ho Gakmyung bit his lip.

- Hahaha. What a face. No need to be so down. Dying like this has its own charm, doesn't it?

These were Jang Ilso's words during a crisis.

Jang Ilso was always composed. Even when his life was in danger, he laughed, and even when Ho Gakmyung saw no way out, Jang Ilso never gave up the last possibility.

And he was someone who would never change.

But if Ho Gakmyung sees a different Jang Ilso now, what went wrong? Where did it go wrong?

Is the future Jang Ilso faces that heavy?

So heavy that he can't remain himself?

No. That can't be.

Even if the sky falls, Jang Ilso would laugh heartily. He wouldn't crumble even in inescapable despair.

So why?

"Why...."

Ho Gakmyung eventually mumbled aloud.

Nothing has changed.

Even if Jang Ilso does something incomprehensible, Ho Gakmyung will support him with all his might, even at the cost of his life.

There's no falsehood in this.

If Jang Ilso falls into hell, Ho Gakmyung will still be by his side.

However, Ho Gakmyung hoped that Jang Ilso could smile even in that hell. Better to laugh in hell than to grieve in heaven. That's how Jang Ilso was.

Gnashing his lips until they bled, Ho Gakmyung's eyes hardened.

Now he finally understood.

"It's different. No, it was different."

Even if they look in the same direction, what Ho Gakmyung aims to achieve is different from Jang Ilso's goal.

Therefore...

Ho Gakmyung quickly wiped the blood from his lips with his thumb and headed swiftly to his office. Before the cold wind was covered by the rising sun.