"We can close the door, but we can never really ask people out of our lives. As one may say, even an island is surrounded by the sea, even the valley has mountains. But how can I stop the world from spinning to lock these moments away? These are the moments when I am so terrified to open up my heart."
Chapter 2: A Flower Blooms in my World
" You're kidding me right?" She couldn't believe what I just told her.
"See for yourself." I replied.
"How could I, I'm not even officially your friend yet." She reverted.
"Oh, yah. We forgot about the friend request protocol." Giggling and scratching my head.
" So is this your real name, Benjamin?" She asked. As we started with the friend request process and accepted each other as friends. I realized that she is my first registered game friend. I also realized that it will appear in my friends list that she's alone there.
But wait, Am I her only friend too? I'm staring at her friends list and can clearly see that i"m the only one there.
"Yah? Why? Aren't we supposed to use our real names here?" I replied.
"Of course not! Ha ha ha! That's what the aliases are for! To hide our real identity and to create a new one that we would use in this game!" She laughed.
"So, Amelia is not your real name?"
"Well, I thought that it would be perfectly okay to use my real name as an alias because everybody will expect that we're not using our real names, and for me to communicate easier, without forgetting who I am supposed to be, I used my real name too!"
"Wow! That's amazing! I never thought about it that way. When I signed up for my account, and I was to fill up the form, I used my first name as my username thinking that that was the protocol. So, there it is."
"But It will be awkward for me to call you Benjamin every time. Can I call you Ben? You can call me Amy too." She proposed.
"That'll be awesome, Amy! Totally awesome!" Though, at the back of my mind I thought to myself, "O' Oh, the first name basis calls, where are we heading about this?"
"But you know what? It feels weird… Now that you're calling me Amy, it feels comfortable, it feels natural. It feels different, but it feels good. People around me usually call me Amy, but hearing you call me that just feels right."
Gracious! Here we go. This is getting scary Benjamin!!! You better get out of this before it gets out of hand! Benjamin!!!!!
"You fell silent, Ben, are you okay? Are you uncomfortable with us like this now?"
What should I say to her?!!! If I say that I do feel uncomfortable. I would definitely offend her! I don't want her to be offended in any way! It may start a nasty quarrel between us! I might lose her as my only Ragna friend! No, I can't afford to lose her! Oh damn! What am I even saying? Why am I so anxious?!!!
"Nothing really. But I had just received a text message from one of my classmates reminding me of our book report due tomorrow. Well, playing too much actually made me forget about that. So, I'm sorry but I really gotta go. Bye, Amy, see you tomorrow!"
"Dang Ben! That's so irresponsible of you! You're gonna fail school if you stay playing right now. Well, see you tomorrow!" Amy reluctantly replied.
Whew! That was so close! Damn Ben, what are you doing?
What was so close to what? What was the wrong thing I was doing again?
I don't know either. I honestly don't know why it scared me that much to relate to a person online in a close personal manner…. I don't even know her personally, I just knew her real first name! That's just it!
That's just it Benjamin! It's nothing else!
But it scared the crap out of me, so much that I wondered why I hadn't peed on my pants!
What had just happened? Benjamin! Explain yourself! Use all the juices of your witty brain to explain to me what just happened!
Well, unfortunately I can't. With all the stock knowledge I have in my mind, none would be significant so as to definitely provide the necessary explanation to what had just transpired. Where in the world would I get the words to even describe what I felt?
I lay down on my bed, silent as a snail. My mind is still raking its memories so as to find adequate arguments to rationalize my current confusion. Damn! I'm a grown up College guy! I'm not a teenager anymore to have those things that they had way back in high school?
Whaaat!!!!!!!! Am I having my first crush now?!!! Just now?!!!
Meanwhile, on the other side…..
Amy is confused and definitely puzzled. The latest conversation she had with Ben is a little uncomfortable. It was an eye opener, yes, nothing rude or bad but why does it feel uncomfortable? It was awkward. After knowing each other's real names, they decided to call each other by nicknames. Then, it was awkward.
Why?!!! Why was it awkward Amelia?
Yes, it felt a little awkward. But it was the air gap that lasted almost a minute; a moment of silence that made all the difference. There had been no air gap in their conversation for past months that they could plan, and communicate while fighting battles all at the same time. We had been so seamless that we knew each other's moves and strategies within seconds! We can even predict each other's responses in any particular situation at hand. We are just like the sword and its scabbard.
Whew! What just happened?!! You gotta be rational Amelia! Think! That is just a coincidence that he had an urgent text message! That's just it Amelia! Don't Think too far too soon! Too far, going where?!!! Why am I even arguing against myself?!!!
Amy is also so confused that she can't sleep either. Turning left and right on her bed, she was thinking about what happened that afternoon.
No. I shouldn't be like this! I shouldn't feel like this. We were very good friends. We're the best fighting duo in our level and bracket! A woman knight and a priest, totally impeccable! Don't mess it up Amelia!
Amy had been a playgirl. She was playing with boys' hearts and tossing them around like they're nothing. Her looks made it harder for boys to resist her charms. Her wits made it possible for her to be conservative while making boys crave for her attention. At school, Amy would never have to ask twice for favors. She was usually the center of attention of the boys. If she would randomly ask for a chair or a book, several boys would eagerly beat the others to offer her the best of what she wants.
Tired of being the School's primadonna, she tried Ragnarok Online. She found relief in playing alone, on the solace of anonymity of the online gaming world. She was doing well until she entered the deepest part of the Labyrinth Forest. She had the agility and stamina to run away from the mobs but she encountered her first Mid boss and was driven into a corner. She was hopeless, no more stamina, no more potion, and only a quarter of her health. Until a powerful Priest took pity on her, and with his help, vanquished the entire dungeon!
She had been playing with Ben ever since that night and they even became really hooked on the game because they had been playing so well that they had started to quickly level up. They ended up scheduling their days to accommodate their online gaming hours, they fought for longer periods of time and usually got several rare items! Even in their current levels, they are already wiping out the mobs around Prontera and Aldebaran and some players are already asking them to party up.
However, being both introverts, they refused to party up and would usually shy away from other players. Amy would usually use her Aggro skill to attract the monsters and draw away the attention from Ben, while Ben would heal her even before the damage she had taken became significant. They were perfect. One fighter, and one support, what could ever go wrong?
But the last conversation that they had was a very unsettling one. It was so confusing that it felt so comfortable but at the same time unexplainably scary. She was ecstatic when they became friends but she was so confused seeing Ben's friends list to be empty except for her name. What does it mean for Ben? What does it mean for her? Will they continue to be as what they had been? What lies ahead in their friendship? She has so many questions that are either too scary to answer or too intrusive to even think about.
One thing she is sure of though. She will not be happy without Ben as her Ragnarok Buddy. She will not allow anything to go between them. She cannot afford to lose Ben!
Come Hell or high water, Ill stick with Ben. I know what it feels to be abandoned, to be alone, to fight battles without a back up! No! I'll never leave Ben Alone! I'll stay with him Till the end!
Amelia?!!! Hello?!!! Are you listening to yourself?!! Do you really know what you're talking about?!!!
Oh! Oh! This is really Scary!!!!
On two sides of the same story, two people were confused, but are they really confused or are they in denial? They are both thinking about the other while being so afraid to admit it! They knew what they felt, but they were so afraid to own them!