The Goblin Theater: first scene; sham and WOQ

What is there to say? How to present this magnificent story? So, I'm one of the two people who have been asked to tell this story. Although I'm not really a narrator. Let's just say I'll have to make a few little interventions here and there. But even then, that's not the right description of my role either. Never mind, you'll see for yourself. But above all, dear reader, you should know that this story is like a board game played around a dinner table. You know what I mean, it's a bit like Dungeons and Dragons without being exactly the same.

I like to call this story, almost dungeon and dragon. As for me, there's a good chance you'll find me in the work under the pseudonym WOQ. No comment, I didn't choose that name willingly. As for my sister, she'll give you the highlights of the work. She'll be under the creator's name. No it's not my creator but...ha you'll find out later. Anyway, without further ado, I'm going to launch the Start as I do at the beginning of every good MMORPG. OK, that's irrelevant. On that note...Start.

Creator

It all began in a faraway land, in a vast field of green grass as far as the eye could see, swept continually by a gentle wind and bathed in sunlight. On the horizon, just a few houses... Huh? What? Aah I forgot to introduce myself! Hahaha sorry, sorry, what am I thinking? I'm so excited to start this great adventure in another world hahaha...huh? Wow, I'm leaking information? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But I'm just a beginner in this business, so please bear with me. Anyway, as my sister must have already told you, I'm...what do you mean she didn't say anything? But...I'm not the designer. What's she doing here again? Always talking nonsense. Anyway, I'm Nara, the narrator of this sublime and well-gilded story, hahaha, delighted to meet you all. My role will be to give you a rough account of the events that take place outside the real narrator's field of knowledge. I'll do my best to serve you, so I hope you'll be as loyal to my story as I am to the final ending. But as far as my presence is concerned, you'll always find me under the pseudonym of Nara. Well, that's done and well done. Now it's your turn to introduce yourself...ah I forgot again, sorry, it hasn't come to that yet hahaha Anyway Start.

Nara

Right, let's start from the beginning. As I was saying, everything began in an extremely dark and gloomy place where you couldn't see anything at all. In this strange and worrying place, a soul saw what he could consider to be an interface appear before him. Haa no sorry but I don't even know what a soul looks like. Why do you think I said a dark place where you can't see anything? Even though it can't be described, this soul was definitely there and aware of what was going on. What's more, he understood perfectly well what was being displayed in front of him. But what he didn't realise was that he was about to make a choice that would be crucial to his future. Literally speaking, hmhm. On this large interface was written

"Hello! My name is WOQ. I'm an artificial intelligence created by superior beings to look after the well-being of the reincarnated. My role is to help you find a new and fulfilling life. Do you want my help? You have the choice of accepting or refusing, but you should know that if you refuse, you will be left to fend for yourself in a world that is extremely hostile to morons and in which your survival rate will be less than 6%, not to mention the fact that you will have no chance of getting out. Please note that this is not a personal addition to influence your decision and not to find myself unemployed. Thank you for making a wise choice."

- WTF? What's this now? Who are you? Where am I? What the hell! I don't give a fuck if you don't let me out of here, I'm not responsible for anything.

"Please make a choice"

- What the fuck? Shut the fuck up. Get me out of here right now or I'll kill you, you son of a...I'm warning you, if you think you can make me talk, then you've got your finger in the...bastard of my 2. Fuck...you sh...

"Final warning. Please make a choice."

- I choose your mother c...come on show yourself if you're a man. You little whore...

"In the absence of choice, your soul will be spared and left to judgement. Since heaven has been destroyed, you will go straight to hell. Enjoy your stay."

- What's that? What are you talking about? In...what? Hey wait I...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Nara

Hey...did we get the wrong book or something? Wasn't this supposed to be the start of a great adventure? What are you doing now, sis? Huh? Wow, I totally forgot I was on the air hahaha Anyway, let's start again. As you've just seen, not everyone is lucky in life but maybe this man has just escaped worse torment by going to hell because what awaited him in that other world was perhaps worse than hell itself. Hmm? Of course not. There's nothing worse than hell. What a question. Anyway. Let's start again. In this dark and gloomy place, a soul had just met God Almighty...or as far as I was concerned, a suspicious interface in a closed room.

"Hello there! My name is WOQ. I'm an artificial intelligence created by higher beings to look after the well-being of the reincarnated. My role is to help you find a new and fulfilling life. Do you want my help? You have the choice of accepting or refusing, but you should know that if you refuse, you will be left to your own devices in a world that is extremely hostile to morons and in which your survival rate will be less than 6%, not to mention the fact that you will have no chance of getting out. Please note that this is not a personal addition to influence your decision and not to find myself unemployed. Thank you for making a wise choice."

- Huh? It's written in Chinese. I don't get it. And where are we now?

"I'm programmed to communicate in the native language of each individual, but if you have a preference, I can adapt".

- What does it say on that floating thingy? Where the hell are we? If this is a hoax then I'm going to lose my mind.

"Please answer the question"

- What's the matter with you? I told you I don't understand what's written in this thing. If you haven't got the balls to communicate to my face then shut the fuck up and get me out of here quick before I do something salty.

"In the absence of choice you will be left to the good care of judgement. Enjoy your stay."

- Huh? What? What the... sweet Jesus what the... whaaaaaaaaaa.

Nara

A good story deserves a good hero, doesn't it? So I hope you can understand my sister's choices a little, even if she could make a little effort because it's getting irritating hahaha.

"Have a nice stay in hell

- Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"Have a nice dream

- Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"Have a nice stay

- Whaaaaaa come on admit it, it's my wife who paid you is that it? I'll give you double.

"Have a nice trip"

- You won't get me, Satan. I recognized you. You won't break my faith. Get out of this body Get out of this body.

- I wasn't born out of the last rain, was I? You think the government can get to me that easily. I used to be a CIA agent. I was a...

"Enjoy your stay"

- Whaaaaaaaaaaa

"Enjoy your stay"

- Come on. I'll give you half a million so please let me out of here. Come on, we're friends. Huh? WTF haaaaaaaaaaa

Nara

But they're all still humans. And so it went on until the 2 millionth human. Ah yes, from now on I'll be represented by an *.The author didn't feel like repeating my name every time, so he decided to replace it with a *. So every time you see a * it means it's me talking.

"Hello! My name is WOQ. I am an artificial intelligence created by higher beings to look after the well-being of the reincarnated. My role is to help you find a new and fulfilling life. Do you want my help? You have the choice of accepting or refusing, but you should know that if you refuse, you will be left to your own devices in a world that is extremely hostile to morons and in which your survival rate will be less than 6%, not to mention the fact that you will have no chance of getting out. Please note that this is not a personal addition to influence your decision and not to find myself unemployed. Thank you for making a wise choice."

- Huh? An ia? I see. Am I dead?

"Please make a choice"

- You can't answer me until I've made a choice, is that it? That's fine. If I'm gonna go to another world, I might as well take a wise man with me. I accept your offer.

"Thank you for your confidence."

- So, what's the cinematic in this world?

"I'm afraid I don't understand. Please take the question again."

- What next? And a bit of context wouldn't hurt.

"You died as a result of a cosmic accident between deities of destruction. Earth was destroyed and a score of other planets were in the same situation. Faced with such injustice, the gods of creation decided to offer a second chance to all those who had died as a result of this divine accident. Several worlds were then created, including the world you are about to enter."

- Hmm, I see. So that's what happened. Can you tell me more about this other world?

"I'm afraid I'm unable to answer that request."

- I see then you are limited in your knowledge. It's not very pretty, my little WOQ.

"What's even less pretty is flaunting your idiocy in public. Are you capable of knowing a place you only know by name? That's my answer."

- Wow, calm down, kid. So much violence in such a small box...

"I'm not your kid. My name is WOQ."

- Well, that's promising.

"Starting the procedure. I'm displaying the list of breeds. Any breed with a red cross is not a choice. Please choose a race."

- Hmm I guess the choice will be my next appearance in this other world. Human: blocked. Elf: blocked. Is this some kind of joke? How come the best race is already blocked. Haaa whatever. Blocked. Stuck. And blocked again. Everything's blocked. By any chance, do you have an unblocked race?

"Searching. Here's the list of unblocked races."

- You could have shown me instead!!!! Well, let's see. Ghost, goblin, slime, chimera ant, spider etc... What kind of shit is this list? Are you fucking kidding me? Where are the dragonite race or at worst demons etc...?

"The request races are all blocked"

- Who's the bastard who blocked all this???? Haa there's no point in overthinking it. So can I refuse this reincarnation?

"Yes, but in this case, you'll leather in hell for eternity."

*Whoo! Said the poor soul faced with a choice that was as unfair as it was crucial for what happened next.

- Eh...let's think. As a ghost, I'd have no tail. As an insect...nah, that's no good. There's also the Golem race, and seriously, I really care about my cock, so that just leaves...yuck.

"Please choose a race."

- Hey, calm down, all right? You're only here to make the story easier, so take it easy, old girl.

"Choose a scenario or I'll send you to hell you little virgin."

- Hmm, I'll take the goblin race. They're the only ones who seem to have dicks. I'm sure they're not as much of a pain in the arse as every other work of fiction. Haaa Aqua sama bless me.

"Goblin choice validated. Please add additional information.

- Black, green and red goblin? Let's put a little originality into it. A big red one. And here's my card. Red goblin also known as scarlet mountain goblin. Level 0 and everything is 0. That's for sure, I'm not going to jura thingy. Name: hmm Julian solo.

"Invalid name. May be too long for the species. Goblins generally choose very short names so perhaps you should take that into account."

- This is starting to piss me off. It was my ultra mega cool account name so...no need to make a big deal of it either. Hmm, I need a name that'll make a statement since I've got a shitty race. Why not alone? Nah, I don't think so, so how about Sham. It makes no sense but I'll take it anyway. I validate this name: Sham.

"Choice of race validated. Obtained: a body in waiting. The gods give you the gift of their bounty. Please choose between the various unmarked ones."

- Huh? Could it be that my luck has finally run out? Hahaha So now it's time to pick up the power of dreams, as in any good isekai. So choose between magic, artefacts and armour. Hmmm, for a little goblin I choose an artefact. Wow, there are so many choices but so many are already out of reach. That sucks....non.non. but this crystal is useless,non. No. Oh, a mind control ring. Now that could be interesting. I'll choose that one.

"Choice confirmed. The weapon will be added to your possessions on standby."

- So what else is left?

"The creation of the new body is complete. You will be transferred to another world in another body. If you wanted to erase your memory and restart everything now would be the time to do so, but if not your memories will remain."

- What's the point of reincarnating if I have no memory of my old life to compare it to?

"Good! It's your choice. You will be led into the new world. Please prepare yourself for the shock. See you soon..."

*So, our hero felt himself dazzled by a blinding light to the point of illuminating everything in the room. Before leaving, he saw a young woman sitting behind a desk with a cup of coffee in her hand. But what he didn't know was that, without realising it, he had just unravelled one of the biggest mysteries of his new life. Isn't that nice? This poor guy is finally going to be reincarnated somewhere else and live a new, beautiful, full life, far from the dangers of his old life. It brings tears to my eyes. But please don't forget what he saw before he left. Everything will make sense when the time comes.

*Anyway, let's get back to the story. It all began in a faraway land, in a vast field of green grass as far as the eye can see, swept continually by a gentle wind and bathed in sunlight. Beyond the magnificent forest, whose branches danced in the wind, you could see the roofs of a small medieval-looking country village. In all, the village numbered no more than thirty or so dwellings. Surely a village of good peasant farmers, given all the cultivated areas around. Traditional farming implements could still be seen in some of the fields. Inside the village, you could see a number of ransacked houses and everyday village equipment such as ploughs, clothes, barrels, tubs etc. scattered all over the village. Several houses were on fire and some children were crying here and there, screaming their mothers' names.

*The men were savagely killed with unparalleled violence and old men and women suffered the same fate. On the other hand, the young women and girls of the village were all taken to a large shed. They were led there by red goblins. These evil, pathetic little creatures looked like children and had ears as long as those of elves, but with a much nastier spirit. They took the women to this shed and raped them en masse. They were brutalised and abused both physically and morally before being raped in turn by these vicious goblins who were slaves to their sexual urges. It was what you might call a veritable orgy.

*For your information, you may not know this, but goblins are all men and therefore their species has no women, but how do they manage to thrive like this? Well, they multiply with the women of other species, particularly humans and races that are physically close to their own. Legend has it that it's because of this lack of women that goblins hate other species so much, calling them lucky. You can imagine that this race doesn't have much sexual activity, which is why their appetites are a hundred times greater than those of a healthy young man. What's more, a goblin only needs to empty himself into a female five or six times to impregnate her. Pregnancy is instantaneous and five hours after fertilisation, the baby goblins come into the world.

*Why am I telling you all this? Well, so as not to shock you with the fact that many of these women already had large bellies and were ready to give birth with great suffering. The goblins made sure that the babies came into the world without any problems, because it's a question of survival. One of them was very different from the others. He wore a skull on his head and was well dressed with a crystal stick in his hand. He was giving instructions to the others to help the babies to come. But also to prevent women attempting suicide from doing so. But that didn't stop some of them biting their tongues to death with the child in their bellies and in these cases, their goblins opened the women's bellies to extract the babies. Those who are alive are kept and those who are not are thrown away.

*In this tragic horror, one woman struggled more than all the others. She didn't hesitate to bite off a goblin's penis with her mouth. Even though this resulted in her being beaten and left near death. They then dragged her to the chief to give birth. In her anger, this woman screamed, shouted her pain and hatred loud and clear. She cursed the goblins. She cursed the men. She cursed the gods. She cursed her life with tears in her eyes and a heart heavy with grief. And when finally, after much pain, she gave birth to a goblin, the sorrow in her heart finally got the better of her and she cut her tongue with her teeth to free herself from this hell.

*The baby goblin was then taken out of the female's womb and thrown into the heap of other babies. Although they were all waving around and trying to walk, this baby just sat there watching the others. As if he understood the situation very well.

- What the hell is this? Is this what you call a better life? Is this the beautiful world that awaits me after all this? Am I in hell?

"Answer: No. You are in the world of quests. This world was created by the god of creation associated with play and entertainment. In this world, you will be obliged to do regular quests in order to stay alive and flourish. I'm in charge of communicating these quests. By the way, your existence has already launched the first quest entitled: The survival of ambition. You have to survive until nightfall.

- Khhh what are they doing? What is this horror? Why are they eating each other? Uh, no, go away.!!!!!!!!!!!

I had just been born in this hellhole, and one of my fellow creatures was already coming after me, hungry and with a mouth full of blood and saliva, trying to devour me too. I wasn't the only one. All the babies were devouring each other under the vicious and amused gazes of the grown-ups. Survival had already begun and my first quest was not the most tender.

* And so began our great story. A story that will take us beyond the great valleys recounted by the bards and elves in their songs. Perhaps the greatest of legends had just begun in this remote place forgotten by legends. And yet no one was ready for what it would soon engender. Even the gods themselves were not ready for what was to come.