Ch. 27 - Control the Narrative

Chapter Twenty-Seven – Control the Narrative

He was ready to make some people's ears turn red. With a sure move, he grabbed the phone and waited for the call to connect. After all, if anyone had gotten him into this mess, it was Arthur, the guy he had to take this to. Since the day before, with the sole exception being the hours spent in Cottontail's company, he had felt restless. That needed to be corrected and fast, because he didn't have time to waste on unnecessary drama.

When Arthur finally answered, he was surprised. After all, his calls and texts had gone into the void until now, as if both Arthur and Angus had disappeared from the face of the earth.

"Hey Jamie," Arthur began energetically, "sorry for going MIA on you. I had a ton of meetings yesterday that went late into the night, with people who needed my undivided attention for the entire day."

Who could those people be? Celebrities? Divas with chips on their shoulders? Jamie didn't really care, but he didn't want to come across as rude, either. "No problem, I just wanted to talk to you about LiveFeed."

"What's that?"

Jamie paused for a moment. Okay, so Arthur was definitely a busy guy and had passed Jamie over to Angus, but this sheer lack of knowledge on the guy's part annoyed him. Whatever, he needed to keep his short fuse in check. Usually, it didn't get challenged so much, but ever since the incident with the Mitches, it looked like the world wanted a piece of him for some unknown reason. That's why he preferred a laidback life – no obstacles and challenges to worry about. Still, if he wanted to become a rock star, he needed to act accordingly.

"It's the name of the show I'm now a part of," Jamie explained. "Look, I don't want to sound like a kid who comes to complain to one busy parent about the other, but Angus hasn't been taking my calls since yesterday."

"What seems to be the problem, Jamie?" Arthur asked in a courteous voice that put Jamie's mind at ease for a moment.

"These guys have certain ideas in mind, and I have a feeling that something got lost in translation. I'm on this reality show because I want to show the world my real self. And Angus's little team producing me is made out of the wackiest people I've ever met. Wacky as in they wanted me to eat with my drumsticks for the camera."

"Angus works with the best in the industry," Arthur replied, but he sounded a bit concerned. "They're young people, you're young, I thought you'd get each other's jokes."

Jokes. Well, if he got the jokes of the likes of Fez and his camera guy, he might become wacky himself. "Unlikely," Jamie replied. "Look, I'm not acting like a diva here. I don't want a poodle and only a certain brand of sparkling water to wash my ass with."

Arthur burst into laughter on the other end. "You're funny, Jamie, on top of being a great guy all around. It's okay, I'll talk to Angus. He was most likely busy yesterday, just like me. I assure you that he wasn't ghosting you."

"I'm never worried," Jamie lied through his teeth.

"You do you, Jamie. It's how you win people over. You know you won me over. Ah, sorry, it looks like I have to go. My PA is giving me such a long-suffering look, you'd think he was dying. Anytime you need anything, give me a call. I'll always be here for you."

Those were nice, big words. Well, in the end, Arthur had picked up, and now he had also promised he'd have a talk with Angus. Still, that didn't mean he would wait for the things he wanted to happen to him. He was all action, which meant that he would call his current favorite person.

***

"I wasn't expecting a call so soon," Cottontail started without as much as a hello.

Jamie didn't mind it since their relationship seemed to follow a continuous, even if sinuous line. "You talk big on wanting to help me with the reality show. How about you put that head of yours to work?"

"Demanding, aren't you? And first thing in the morning, too."

"It's almost noon. Wait, aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"No, I don't have classes right now."

Jamie could picture that scowl without any effort. Cottontail really disliked studying. Wasn't he running the risk of being kicked out of college then? With his thirst for knowing every little tidbit his friend could dole out, he was about to ask more when Cottontail interrupted his train of thought.

"I've thought about your situation all night, Jamie. Those shitheads are trying to box you in. I know you're saying that you're okay with whatever they do, because you're this big tough guy and they have nothing on you, so I'm glad you're reaching out to me."

"Jesus, you're going to make my head big with blowing so much hot air. Do you always feel the need to take the long road to get where you're going? Just say what you want to say."

"I worry about you, and how those creeps could ruin your reputation. You need to do something, take action, not just let things happen to you."

"I totally agree, which is why I called."

"Wait a minute, do you really mean it? Do you want my help?"

"Yes. Now it's your turn to wait. Did you think I was talking out of my ass?"

"I only thought you wanted my ass. First thing in the morning," Cottontail added without one bit of guile.

"I see. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but if you're into that sort of thing first thing in the morning, you'll have to sleep over."

"You know I can't do that," Cottontail replied without faking his outrage for a moment. Jamie was damn certain the guy didn't have to pretend he was like that. It was as if he'd been born with outrage in his mouth.

"I wouldn't peek under your mask."

"Says you. I don't trust you. Let's get back to the business at hand. What do you need from me?"

"Advice," Jamie admitted directly. "Since you're the expert on reality shows, and I'm the newbie, it's clear who needs help from whom."

"Great." Jamie could swear Cottontail was rubbing his hands together in satisfaction.

"Glad to see you so enthusiastic about it. Where should we start then?"

"That's easy. Do they want to make you into whatever character they want? That's not going to happen. What we're going to do, Jamie, is control the narrative."

"Okay, that sounds important. How?"

"Do you have access to the account where they post your shorts? Can you create some of your own content?"

Jamie frowned. "Let me check real quick." He hadn't thought about it until now. His laidback philosophy on life might just have come and bit him in the ass. He felt relieved when he saw that he had the level of access needed for uploading his own content. "Yep," he replied. "Is that what you think I should be doing?"

"Your competition is doing it already," Cottontail informed him.

"Do I have competition?"

"That is what these shows are all about. Sorry to burst your happy little bubble. Also, since yesterday, they've added about a dozen more people. And let me tell you this from the very beginning, Jamie. Some of them are established influencers, so you have your work cut out for you."

"Okay, I don't mind putting in some elbow grease. Should I make my own shorts, then?"

"Yes. Do you need any help?"

"Do you really have no classes you should be going to?"

"None that matter," Cottontail said quickly. "I'll opt for my other disguise in case we need to go somewhere other than your place. Because we do."

"Your other disguise?"

"Come on, you saw right through it from the start. I'm warning you – there will be a fake nose."

"I might like you even while you're wearing a gag item. Are you going for that Groucho Marx look?"

"He didn't actually invent it," Cottontail said promptly. "And my disguise is not as gauche as that."

"If you say so, detective," Jamie said with a grin in his voice.

"Inspector, not detective," Cottontail moaned at the other end. "Get ready to head out. You must take me to the place you usually practice."

"Why?"

"Don't you want to show yourself off as a drummer? This is your chance. Also, keep this in mind, Jamie. Control the narrative. Repeat that until it becomes second nature. That's all you have to do to beat them at their game."

***

Although his audience of one was made up of only the weird inspector – Jamie still failed to understand how he wasn't Sherlock Holmes – he felt jitters like never before. Touching the hi-hats lightly, he adjusted his position while pretending he was alone.

"Okay," Cottontail – how could he call the guy that while he was dressed in that horrible outfit and was wearing a fake nose? – he began, while raising his hand. "We'll first go for a lot of footage that can be clipped and edited later."

Jamie felt calmer as he rolled the drumsticks on his fingers with his usual dexterity. Thank fuck for muscle memory, or he might be about to give his furry friend-slash-inspector a subpar performance.

"You know, this is the first time you're watching and hearing me play."

Cottontail gave him a weird look. "No, it isn't."

Jamie frowned a smidge. Was he forgetting something?

"I took the liberty of searching for some ideas for your shorts on the way here. How about you play some of the most famous drum grooves of all time? If you can, of course."

"Does the horse love hay? Of course I can. And little buddy, I have to say I'm impressed that you did that for me."

"I haven't even begun doing things for you."

"Awesome. You should be my producer." Jamie winked at him.

"I can't," came the immediate reply. "You'd find out who I am."

"You worry too much. And does your name really give away who you are?"

Cottontail gave him a critical look. Or so Jamie thought because the ridiculous inspector disguise made it difficult for him to read his partner's face. "Wow, Jamie, so deep. Save it for the camera."

"Okay, smarty-pants. Are you ready for my display of virtuosity?" Jamie wiggled his eyebrows and grinned for good measure.

"Get to work already. You know better than I do what to play and how. I'll take care of the rest."

***

He hadn't had this much fun in a long time if he didn't include having sex and enjoying naughty times with Cottontail. Jamming with Melinda came a close second, or maybe these performances he was giving were on equal footing. When he played, he was free; no, more than that – he understood why people used the expression 'free like a bird', because, man, when he played the drums, he was soaring.

As much as he loved it, they must have been here for hours, and surely his partner needed a break. Cottontail, despite his obvious dislike for studying, was quite the dedicated little worker. He used a tripod to continue recording on Jamie's phone, while he used his to make edits and add effects as he had explained he would be doing at the start.

"Let's take a break," he suggested, standing up from the stool. "I suppose you must be hungry because I am. My treat."

"I can't eat with this mask on. It's uncomfortable."

"Are you looking for an excuse to not share a meal with me?"

"In public? Do you have any idea how we would look?"

Jamie pondered this while giving the inspector a long once-over. "Interesting. We would look interesting."

His partner rolled his eyes. "No, we would look creepy. I'm a creepy dude."

"I don't know about that," Jamie said while strutting over to where Cottontail was dutifully attending to his editing. "You're growing on me, creepy dude or not."

"Still, your lack of awareness is scaring me. Don't think that people don't judge you only because they say they aren't. They judge you all the time, day in and day out."

"Okay, you cynical wise ass. Then what should we do? I'd like to spend some more time with you."

"Come see what I've managed to put together so far. Mind you, it's nothing like what those influencers are posting all the time, but we need to start somewhere. You can show these to your producer – the real one – so he can see what sort of content you are able to generate."

Jamie had a mind to rattle Cottontail by surreptitiously grabbing his ass, but as soon as his partner began showing him the results of their labors, he forgot about that on the spot. He took the phone from the inspector's hand and began browsing through the cuts and edits Cottontail had made.

"Wow, these are really good," he said.

Even if his face was obscured by that strange mask, Cottontail would have seemed embarrassed to anyone who bothered looking. He also appeared unaware that he was being observed, which made Jamie wonder how and why this guy had never had the chance to get with someone who would do that for him.

"Are you disfigured?" he asked quietly.

"What are you on about?" Cottontail exclaimed. "I'm not disfigured, what the hell!"

"Don't get your panties in a twist. I was just thinking that you seem like a good guy. Why would you want to hide your face so much? And, by the way, it wouldn't matter to me one way or the other if you had a scar or whatever."

"Stop being insufferable. And don't play the charitable one. Don't you see where that has gotten you this far?" Cottontail seemed pretty upset, judging by how rigid his body had become. Jamie wanted to take it all back; all he had wanted to do was give his friend some assurance. After all, they had been intimate so many times already, and he couldn't see that anything could change his opinion of the guy.

"Wait, where what got me?" Jamie pointed at himself, once the words reached his brain and he was able to parse the information. "What do you mean by that?"

"No one takes you seriously. Okay, not really no one, but most of the people that meet you don't think too far beyond the persona you're presenting."

Jamie took a step back and crossed his arms. "You are an endless pool of wisdom, darling. Tell me more."

"Are you sure you want to hear what I have to say? I mean, look at you."

"I look at myself in the mirror every chance I get. Go on. It looks like you have me all figured out." He felt partially angered, partially interested. Cottontail really had a knack for getting a rise out of him.

"No, this isn't about my having you figured out. It's about what you project about yourself in the world. And isn't it a pity?" Cottontail raised his phone and pressed play. "When this is the real you?"

Jamie couldn't get what his friend meant by that. He really couldn't. Yes, he definitely liked himself when he played the drums. It was his one true passion. But the rest of the time, he was a nice guy who took things easy. Where could Cottontail see a problem with that?

"I'm afraid you will have to say it to me plainly because I still don't understand."

Cottontail pointed at the phone screen. "Here, Jamie, you're wild and unapologetic. You don't do this to please someone."

"Okay, I get that. I play music because I love it. It is my life. And how is that at odds with who I am outside of playing the drums?"

"You play it safe. I don't know if you're doing it because you're lazy--"

"I beg your pardon?" Jamie leaned forward, showing off his muscles. He didn't mind wrestling this annoying inspector to the ground and giving him a piece of his mind.

"—or if you were hurt before," Cottontail continued unfazed.

"It's neither. I enjoy being nice to people. It's who I am. I really don't see a problem here."

"And yet, you punch left and right when people get on your nerves. You're not very nice when you get pissed."

"Which is normal," Jamie argued. "Damn, you do know how to piss on a guy's parade, don't you? And we were getting along so fine. Give me that." He grabbed the phone from Cottontail's hand and made a move to stash it in his pocket.

"That's my phone," his partner said.

Jamie stopped. Of course. His was still attached to the tripod. His plan to leave fuming seemed ridiculous all of a sudden. So he did the next best thing; he started laughing. He gave the inspector back his phone and began fiddling with the tripod to disconnect his.

"You know, you have a knack for getting me hot under the collar," he said. "In wildly different ways. Seriously, sometimes I wonder if you're not provoking me on purpose."

"I am provoking you on purpose," Cottontail argued. "Because I want to see and know the real you. I just don't buy that you're a bad boy who offers his body and sex advice to guys going through breakups and whatnot."

"I'm not sure about the bad boy part – although it's true that it's the image I project for the world to see, as you kindly pointed out," Jamie said with a smirk, "but otherwise, that's who I am."

"Are you?"

There were only two ways he could deal with the present situation. He considered either shaking Cottontail a bit for good measure, or—

He grabbed the inspector by the front of his tweed jacket and kissed him hard on the lips, since they were the only part of his face left uncovered by that stupid mask.

"Maybe I'm not. The only guy I'm offering my body to seems to be a little scumbag, though. You're going to pay for this."

"I'm looking forward to it," Cottontail said lightly. "Now, let's just choose which of these you want to upload. Remember, Jamie, the competition is fierce."

He didn't give a damn about competition and winning. But he enjoyed the hell out of the journey, because of the quirky partner he had gotten himself for the road.

TBC