As we close the bedroom door behind us, my heart thuds in my ears. In addition to having an aggressiveness that would terrify anyone, this stranger has an iron grip on me.
I long to nestle into my partner's warm embrace and feel secure. But I can't. As he carries me to the bed, my anxiety only gets stronger. As he settles me on the edge and starts to remove my jacket, the sheets creak softly. Panic is starting to set in, and my heart is pounding in my throat.
He throws the jacket to the ground after taking it off, almost with a disgusted expression. Then he stops for a minute, putting up his nose as though to take a whiff of the atmosphere. Using this as an excuse, I crawl farther onto the bed and farther away from him. I give myself a strong hug and bring my knees up to my chest. The white T-shirt that is left feels way too flimsy to be comfortable.