Naruto : Monsters: Chapter 17

"That's why I had to use the springs from the sofa to help me." He pointed to the gutted sofa in one corner, where an assortment of springs lay spilled on the floor around it.

I raised a finger, a retort on my lips, before I stopped and just face-palmed. It was quickly beginning to dawn at me, that this boy… was an idiot. 

...

I was so used to dealing with Neji that I had forgotten that not every child our age was as smart as him. That even all the Chakra in the world flowing through your brain could stop someone from being stark raving mad.

"Alright, then what about the rest of this. Why do you have graffiti on the wall?"

"Graffiti?" He looked confused. "What are you talking about? What's wrong with my drawings?"

"Drawings?" I turned to look back at the wall and realized that, yes, what I first took for graffiti were in fact drawings. A child's drawings to be more precise, made with crayons and paint. "The unicycle?"

He shrugged. "It looked like fun. Turned out it wasn't."

Frustrated, I pointed at the floor, "The huge ocean of trash?"

"Ah… aha… ahahaha," He awkwardly laughed and scratched the back of his head. "About that. Well, like I said the cleaning lady hasn't been over today so no one had the chance to clean it up."

"And when exactly was that last time this cleaning lady came over? Last year?"

"No, she comes over twice a week." He tilted his head and frowned, "in fact, she was here yesterday morning."

"Yesterday?" I looked around the room that had more in common with a trash heap than a living room. "And what? Did she see this mess and run?"

"Of course she didn't. She may not be very friendly but she works really hard. I swear it's almost like magic watching her clean, by the time she finishes the place always looks brand new."

It took me a few moments to process what he was saying, and I had to ask him to clarify because there is no way he said why I thought he was saying. 

"Naruto," I made sure to speak slowly, pronouncing each word carefully so that there was no possibility of a misunderstanding, "are you trying to tell me, that you made all of this," I threw my hands out to indicated what I meant by 'this', "in a single day. After the lady had just finished fixing the place up?"

"Yup." The madman nodded proudly, before frowning. "I don't think the cleaning lady minds. She cleans it every time and never complains. Though I don't think she likes me very much."

Of course she doesn't like you, you lunatic! How she resisted the urge not to bash your skull in with a broom if she had to clean this place up twice a week I do not know, but she must have had the patience of a saint.

Oh my God, now I get it! Naruto, he's basically a rich spoiled kid, isn't he? One that was never taught to make his bed or tidy up his room because the maid will clean it up for him the next day.

No one ever tried to discipline him for making a mess, have they? I mean who will? No one wants to piss off the kid with the killer demon fox in his belly, well other than the Hokage. But seeing as he is probably the only person who is even remotely nice to Naruto, he probably couldn't bring himself to be strict with the kid and risk alienating him more than he already is.

For most of my past life I had to raise both of my sons alone. Which meant not only was I responsible for raising them properly but cleaning after their messes as well. 

And it didn't take me long after becoming a single father to twin boys to learn to hate, no utterly loathe it when they made a mess. And looking at the pigsty that Naruto called home, I felt something snap in me.

Without thinking, both my hands clamped down onto Naruto's shoulders. "Naruto," I tried smiling at the boy but it must have come out wrong because I saw his eyes widen before he tried to lean as far back away from me in my grip as he could. 

"We are going to clean this place up, alright? And I don't care if we're here until sunrise, neither you nor I are going to stop cleaning until this place is spotless, understand?"

"What, why?" He whined out and pouted at me, "Why can't we just leave it for the cleaning lady to-"

"CLEAN-NOW-UNDERSTAND!"

"Sir, Yes Sir!" The blond shot straight up and saluted, before flying off to the supply closet.

Nodding in satisfaction, I turned around to face the garbage-filled room. "Hello my old enemy," I said to the messy room, "so we meet again."

...

"Hey, Naruto." Pausing halfway through my sweeping, I leaned on my broom as a thought occurred to me.

"What?" He grumbled from where he stood by the wall. He had a wet rag in his hands that he was using to clean the paint off the walls, a bucket of water by his feet. To my surprise, it was actually working.

I had at first feared that the wallpaper was unsalvageable and had to be replaced, but it seems that the stuff was waterproof or something because it remained undamaged even when scrubbed with soap and water. 

I guess they must have swapped out the regular wallpaper for this kind after they realized that Naruto would just keep ruining them.

I ignored his tone. He's been in a sour mood for the last hour or so since we had begun cleaning, at least he wasn't giving me the silent treatment anymore. "I've just realized, this place is a shinobi-only complex isn't it?"

I hadn't noticed at first, seeing as I was all but dragged up here at the speed of sound, but I don't recall seeing anyone in the apartment complex other than ninjas.

"Yeah, and what about it?" He frowned at a particularly stubborn spot of paint that refused to be scrubbed off.

"Nothing, it's just the first time I've ever been in one," I remember Kou pointing out places like this to me before. They were actually rather common in Konoha. 

Shinobi tended to have trouble mixing in with civilians, in particular those who fought in wars, and many found it simpler to live among their own kind. Or at least that's what Kou tells me- Oh Shit, Kou!

Where the hell is Kou!?

In my panic, I quickly glanced around me in hopes of spotting my errant bodyguard, as if he would magically appear in the apartment. Naturally, there was no one in here but Naruto and me. I had forgotten Kou at the compound! Oh shit, I was in so much trouble.

One of the few ironclad rules that I had to obey was to never leave the compound without an escort. Ever! As one of the few Hyuuga without the Caged Seal, I was a prime target for kidnapping, and my father would rip me in two if he found out I was running around without a guard of some kind.

Wait- wait a second, calm down. Wasn't Hiashi there when he sent us off? He knew that it was only Naruto and me when we left, so why didn't he stop us? Surely he must have realized that Kou wasn't with us by now and must have sent him after us.

So where was he? Was Kou simply staying out of sight? With the Byakugan it's not like he needed to be in the same room to keep a close eye on me.

Quickly I turned on my Byakugan and a previously unseen world revealed itself to my eyes. Over a hundred unfamiliar shinobi-class Chakra signatures popped out from every direction, no doubt the other residents of the building. I immediately ignored Naruto's, which shone far brighter than any untrained child should have, and quickly began searching for Kou's.

Were it anyone else, I would have had trouble spotting his Chakra signature in a place filled so many others for him to blend in with, but Kou was an exception. 

There was a reason why he was chosen to become my guard at such a young age and even among so many other signatures, Kou's would have stood out like a grown man in a children's playground.

Kou's Chakra supply was exceptionally large, even by Shinobi standards. His would blaze like a campfire surrounded by candles in my eyes, even with the other Shinobi nearby.

It didn't take me more than a heartbeat to spot it, the unusually high Chakra signature coming from above and behind us. 

He was on the rooftop of one of the neighbouring buildings, directly across the street from Naruto's. Crouching down on the railing like a bird of prey, he silently watched us even through the walls- Wait a minute, that wasn't Kou!

While this man's Chakra supply was large, easily matching Kou's in size and more, his signature was completely different. To my eyes, Kou's Chakra always appeared like smooth flowing water, a common hereditary trait among the Hyuuga, while this man's Chakra crackled and sparkled like bottled lightning.

There was no way that this was Kou or any other Hyuuga, I would have remembered a Chakra signature as unusual as this. But there was no doubt that he was watching us, even through his mask I could clearly see the way his single eye tracked our forms.

I admit I would have been a bit more terrified that an unknown, and potentially powerful, ninja was watching us had it not been for the Anbu mask he wore. That his mask was carved in the shape of a dog only further relieved me.

...

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