Chapter 125 - Unfortunate News

— Rudeus Greyrat —

Walking up to the ever-so familiar door, I released a sigh as I hung my head, something I had found myself doing more often than not during the week-long journey back home.

If everything was fine… if everything was normal… now would be when I had a large smile on my face as I entered the front door, my arms open in wait for Lana, Seig, and Damian, and then a night of showing my love to my three special girls.

But not everything was fine… no, far from it.

Even after Orsted's depressing explanations, I had the faintest of hopes that something was wrong with what he said, and that, somehow, Leon had escaped such a fate.

It was an impossible thing to expect, but this was my brother we were talking about, so if anyone could do it, it was him.

But yet, when we stopped at Perugius' floating fortress, he showed us to the room that contained one of the monuments to denote the Seven World Powers, something he mentioned he picked up for monitoring the changes in the world.

And on that stone… Leon was no longer in the seventh spot, all but confirming his death.

If there was one thing to be glad about, it was that the same went for Laplace, with the rankings below him shifting upwards, so that the Death God was fourth, the Sword God was fifth, the North God returned to the rankings in sixth, and as for the seventh… that was now me, with the crest of a magic staff to signify it.

I was still unsure about how it worked, and even Orsted nor Perugius knew the mechanism of those rankings, but yet, I was now the seventh world power.

But… I couldn't feel any happiness from such a thing, considering the sacrifice that was needed to make that happen.

Rather than a badge of honour… I could only see of it as a shameful reminder.

The seventh world power… and even then, all I did was sit back as my brother died.

Pathetic.

Even if I was nearly out of mana from lifting the seal, I should have done something more…

Maybe I really hadn't changed at all, even if I wanted to think I had.

No… I had changed.

Even if I was the same shitty guy on the inside, I now had a family with three beautiful wives and three wonderful children, and my brother's family that was now without their father as well…

To put it simply, I now had a big responsibility.

A responsibility to tell them what happened, and be there to support them afterwards, and keep them safe.

For the man that loved his family so much… including me… it was the least I could do.

Releasing another sigh, I then went up to the door, quickly unlocking it as I went inside, instantly spotting the girls all sitting in the living room, their heads all turned towards me at my entrance.

I guess the boys were down for their naps, huh?

But I was lucky that they were all here.

"R-Rudy? You're… you're home!" Sara exclaimed, jumping to her feet as she ran towards me, my arms embracing her on instinct as I buried my face into the crook of her neck.

Mmm… yes, this was the scent I loved.

But… unlike normal, I wasn't nearly as excited by it.

"Rudy…? What's wrong?" she said, peering up at me with concern.

I guess it was showing on my face after all…

"Yes… I'm home," I said, giving her a small kiss on the forehead as Shizuka and Linia prepared to get up and greet me. "But first… Linia, can you take the kids to Suzanne's please?"

"Huh? Uhh… sure, but why, Rudy?" she asked, tilting her head in question as her ears twitched.

"Just… please do it, and come to Leon's house afterwards," I said before looking down at Sara. "And… can you go to bring my parents and siblings to Leon's? We… there needs to be a talk."

I couldn't say it.

But if I couldn't say it with these three, who I trusted and loved with my entire being, how in the world was I going to say it to everyone else?

"I… believe Aisha and Zenith are already over there, but… why?" Sara said in confusion. "Did… did the battle go alright? You're not hurt, are you?"

I clenched my fists.

"Yes… I'm fine… and… we won," I said with a grimace.

I watched as Shizuka's and Sara's faces slowly darkened as the possible realization began to dawn on them.

"R-Rudy… where is Leon?" Shizuka asked.

I simply closed my eyes.

"Please… go get them," I said.

I didn't want to see their faces.

What a coward I was…

"Papa?"

Hearing that voice, I opened my eyes to look down at Lana as she tugged on my robe.

"You're back…" she said with a small smile.

"Yes… I am… but please go with Linia for the moment. We… we can do whatever you want afterwards," I said, gently rubbing her head.

I brought myself to look up, only to be met with the crestfallen expression on Shizuka's face, and the horrified look on Sara's.

Dammit… and I knew that in front of their reactions, what was coming was going to be even worse.

Eris, Roxy, Sylphy, Ariel… then Mom, Dad, and Lilia… Aisha and Norn…

I felt sick just thinking about it.

And even then, I knew how much my daughter loved her uncle, so to think I would have to break Lana's heart with the loss of a loved one when she was so young…

To put it simply, this sucked.

And if there wasn't a role for me to play for all of them, then I know I would have long since hidden away in my room to wallow in despair.

— Rudeus Greyrat —

I took a deep breath as I waited in front of Leon's house, clenching my fist as I tried to give myself some courage.

I had meant to arrive here before Sara, Linia, and my parents, but I still couldn't bring myself to do it, and found myself walking around the town in an attempt to soothe my mind with Shizuka's support.

To put it simply, it didn't work.

"Rudy… you can do this," Shizuka said at my side, taking hold of my hand. "This was a possibility, and this isn't your fault, so… let's just do it. I'll be here to support you if you need it, but only you know what happened… They deserve an explanation."

"Yes… you're right… thank you," I said, returning a squeeze.

Shizuka was strong like that. It was one of the main reasons I loved her.

I knew she was hurting too, as Leon was one of the few friends she had in this world, but still, she was here with me, helping me take the next step despite my cowardliness.

"Right. Then… let's do this," I said before opening the door.

Thankfully, it wasn't locked due to Linia and Sara arriving earlier, and just as I expected, the entire family was in the living room to the left.

And without the children too…

Sara must have asked them to do that, even without me saying anything.

I was thankful for that smart move.

"Ah, there you are, Rudeus! I was wondering why you wanted us here," Sylphy said, greeting us with a smile. "But you're back… thank Millis! I was getting worried! Is Leon out there too?"

I froze, the waves of nausea and fear returning once more as Shizuka closed the door behind us.

"N-No… not right now…" I said, finding myself staring at my feet.

Not ever. Why couldn't I say it?

With another squeeze from Shizuka, I brought myself to raise my head, the pair of Ariel and Roxy coming into view as they sat on the couch next to my mother, their expressions frozen in shock as their faces paled.

Ah… so they noticed.

As if their realization had taken physical form, the room quieted so that only the faint noise of the crackling fireplace was heard as a subtle pressure descended in the air.

Right… I needed to come out with it.

"We… defeated Laplace," I started, biting my lip as I struggled to continue. "The fight was difficult… but we made do, and ignoring the other details, in the end Leon was able to strike Laplace cleanly through the chest, and…"

The words caught in my throat as I struggled to move on, not helped by the proud smile of the pregnant Eris, the reassured look from my mother, and Roxy, whose pale face had calmed.

Don't lead them on, dammit… just what are you doing, me?

"Well, that's just what I'd expect, but just where is he?" Sylphy said with a small pout. "I bet he's talking with Lord Perugius and the Dragon God, right? Jeez… and I even made his favourite tonight."

"Ha. That's just his loss, then. He should have thought of coming here first-"

"B-But…" I said, cutting off Eris' words. "Laplace… was able to activate the sacred treasure, sending them to the Dragon World…"

I paused, unable to continue as a few of the gathered faces turned down in worry.

"The Dragon World… what does that mean? I don't understand, Brother," Aisha said, tilting her head in confusion.

Just tell them, Rudeus! You have to tell them!

Just take the damn step!

"It means… that Leon is… dead," Shizuka said, stepping forward as I saw her lower lip tremble slightly, her emotions getting the better of her.

How pathetic… was I really standing here as my wife did the difficult part for me?

Taking a breath, I forced myself to look my family in the eyes, their eyes open in shock, disbelief, and most of all, confusion at Shizuka's words.

Right… of course they would be confused.

"The Dragon World isn't a place where life can survive, and even then… the transport itself would destroy his soul. That… is what Orsted told me," I said as I then bowed my head. "I'm… I'm sorry! I… wasn't able to… I'm sorry…"

Ah… and now the tears came.

I hadn't even cried the entire week when I was feeling like shit, but now, when I needed to be strong for them, I broke down.

And like the dam holding my emotions back had broken… they were now rushing forward like a cascade.

Pathetic…

I felt Shizuka grip onto my right as Sara came to my left, bringing my head down to rest on her shoulder.

I… just wanted this nightmare to end.

— Roxy Migurdia —

I couldn't move.

I couldn't speak.

I even found it difficult to breathe.

The news was simply that shocking… so shocking, that 'news' felt like an understatement to what had been announced.

No… it was more akin to my world crumbling before me.

That wonderful family I always dreamed of, where I could be accepted and loved, and the place where my children would grow up as happy as could be… I already knew that it would never recover.

After all, despite how much we all attempted to veil it in a guise of equality, Leon was the centre of our family, and without him…

I had known something was off as soon as Sara arrived, telling us to gather in the living room while taking the children upstairs to bed.

The expression on her face was simply too despondent for the usually happy girl, and with the news of Rudeus' return and the defeat of Laplace, she should have been all smiles and giggles.

Unless… something had gone wrong.

But no… my Leon was strong enough to survive, and he had promised to keep me happy for the rest of our lives, so I believed he would keep his promise.

At least, that was what I had thought.

And then, when Rudy arrived with such a sad face, and without Leon at his side… I felt the unease set in.

After all, I had seen my fair share of those faces while adventuring… the face of guilt and despair after one dear to them had been lost.

It was briefly uplifted by the news of Laplace's defeat, having expected to hear of my husband perishing in battle, but that was quickly quelled by the finality of Rudeus' words as he then proceeded to break into a fit of sobs, clutching desperately to his wives as the rest of us were left with the realization.

It felt that time wasn't moving for a few moments, allowing me the chance to think.

I… had expected to lose Leon eventually, given our difference in lifespan, but… not like this. And not so soon.

Never… never so soon…

Why… why did you have to leave me so soon, Leon?

Weren't we supposed to have so many more days of happiness?

Days when we could grow older as we watched our children make their mark on the world, gently resting on the porch, hand in hand…

So why…? Why did you…

"T-That… is bullshit!" Eris shouted, rising to her feet as she marched over to Rudeus. "T-That's impossible! Don't lie to me-!"

"Eris…" Sara said, removing herself from her husband as she went to hug Eris, halting her approach. "I'm sorry, and I know you're hurting, but… you have to accept the truth… and please, don't take it out on him…"

"N-No…" Eris said, deflating as she stepped back, her eyes darting around the room, giving me a glint of the state she was in.

To put it simply, a mix of fear and sorrow, as well as quite a bit of disbelief.

For her to react like that, yet myself remaining still… was something wrong with me?

Or was that just a difference in experience?

"T-That… because if that's true… then…" Eris continued to mutter, placing her hands over her mouth as the beginning of tears began to bud in her eyes.

Seeing that, for some reason, I found myself calming down a bit.

Right… Leon loved me, and more importantly, he trusted me.

He trusted me, as the oldest of our family, to be mature, even in the worst situations.

So despite the sickness of despair that was building within me… I had to hide it away, and step up as a woman of the house.

Yes… that was the duty now entrusted to me.

I wanted to run outside and scream, lamenting how the world that I had grown to love so much had taken the most precious man away from me.

But… I had to remain strong, at least for the moment, just as Ariel seemed to be doing.

Her face was set in a stern, composed frown… but even then, for someone who had known her for so long, I could see that she was destroyed on the inside… perhaps even more than me.

No, there was no use in comparing our feelings. That would simply lead to self-hatred.

"Eris. Please… why don't you come here," Ariel said, patting the seat beside her with a small, pained smile. "We… we need to talk about this… and be here for each other."

Instead of answering her, Eris slowly turned around, her eyes still wide as she looked at the queen with shock.

"H-How… how can you… just sit there, and… Do you even care!?" she then shouted, her holler making Linia recoil. "How can you just smile and keep calm when-!"

"It would be prudent of you not to continue, Eris," Ariel interrupted her, her voice colder than I had ever heard it before, at least when directed towards our family. "Just… don't make things more difficult than they already are…"

Eris, quite predictably, didn't take her words well, as she then stomped past us, heading into the kitchen as the sound of the back door slamming was heard soon after.

I guess it would be best for her to get some air… but she should apologize to Ariel afterwards.

Even with her attempt at masking her emotions with such practised composure, the queen's mask had cracked at Eris' scathing words, her eyes turning hollow as she bit down hard on her lower lip.

And then… there was Sylphy, her head held in her hands as she rocked back and forth on the chair, eyes closed as I saw tears streaming through her palms as Lilia gently held her side, the woman also wearing a mask of barely-veiled poise as she tried to reassure the grieving woman.

And then there were Aisha and Norn… 

Norn was having a reaction similar to Sylphy, with tears pouring out of her eyes as she brought her knees to her chest, shaking her head in refusal as her muffled sobs echoed through the room.

And Aisha, taking after her mother, was also playing the role of a comforting presence, bringing her sister into a hug as she calmly raked her fingers through Norn's hair, her eyes beginning to form the beginning of tears as her faced scrunched up in sorrow.

What a strong girl… but she shouldn't have to be.

While most would assume that with her being Ariel's assistant in managing the Asura Kingdom, Leon would not have as large of a presence in her life compared to Norn, who continuously trained with her brother whenever possible, but… that couldn't be further from the truth.

In actuality, Aisha's affection for her brother was a bit… troublesome, and the four of us wives had had a couple of talks about it, but I suppose… that didn't matter now, did it?

Turning my head, I was met with the face of Paul, his eyes hollow and face sunken, as if he had aged another twenty years in the minutes since Rudy's arrival.

Of course… even though he had faced loss many times in his life, being an adventurer… he had never suffered anything like this.

And more than that, he likely couldn't even feel anything in regard to Leon's passing.

Anger?

At whom? Laplace was already dead, after all.

At himself?

If it was Rudy who had passed, who despite being a talented magician, was extremely fragile without his magic armour, then yes, Paul could reason that he should have gone and sacrificed him for his son, and thus feel anger and regret at himself for not doing so.

But with Leon, even he, despite his often boastful words, knew that he would have done nothing with his presence, as Leon was simply that overwhelmingly strong.

While I wasn't a master at such emotions, I could easily see how feeling nothing could be worse than self-hatred.

Eris was likely feeling the former, and once she recovered, while not back to normal, she would be able to live on.

But when there was nothing to recover from… well, even I didn't know what would happen.

But still, there was one thing he could do, and as he raised his head to look across the room at Norn and Aisha with an expression of determination, I knew that he had found that answer.

I watched as he rose to his feet before walking over to his daughters to bring them into a comforting hug, letting Aisha finally release the dam of tears she had been holding back as he remained steady, holding them with firm arms.

He had long since grown from the man-child from before, so I could leave those two to him.

And then there was Zenith, who, after a brief stint of tears, had also stood up, her face set in a look of determination much like her husband's as she began marching to the kitchen.

I could only assume she was going to console Eris.

Good… she needed that, and I doubt I could do much for her right now.

No… I knew what I needed to do.

"Roxy?" Ariel said, looking up at me as I rose from my seat.

"I… am going upstairs to our room…" I said before I reached down to hug the queen's head. "And while I thank you for being so strong… when things have calmed, let us cry together… alright?"

"Ah… I… okay, Roxy," she said, reaching up to gently squeeze my arm before letting go.

Dammit. I had let some tears through.

Wiping off the moisture from my eyes, I began heading upstairs to Leon's room, intent on retrieving his journal from his desk.

Even though he hadn't said anything to us about not reading it, all of us girls had decided to let him keep his privacy… although there was certainly some temptation in order to make sure my husband wasn't having any idiotic thoughts, such as his previous worry concerning that future diary and his place in our hearts.

But I would need to read through it this time.

My husband is a smart man, and despite his confidence, he knew that Laplace was no minor threat, so if there was anything he would want us to do after the possibility that had unfortunately arrived… it would be in there.

And… more selfishly… I felt the need to feel close to him right now.

I needed his presence, even if only in the marks of ink on paper, to give me the strength to push forward for our wonderful and beloved family, that at the moment… did not feel so wonderful.

Ah… and now, just as I reached his room, and the remnants of his scent entered my nose… 

The tears began to flow.

— Zenith Greyrat —

My baby… my beloved baby Leon… he was dead.

As soon as Rudy said those words, I felt the need to scream out in rejection, just like Eris had done, but I was able to hold myself back after seeing my son's face of despair.

His words were no lie.

And with his wives running to his side, I was only left with my thoughts as I sank into the couch, the tears streaming down my cheeks, their heat feeling like burns as I began to realize just what had happened.

Leon… my boy… he would never smile again.

How lovingly he would hold his children… I would never be able to see such a heartwarming sight ever again.

Never… again…

I was familiar with death.

Being an adventurer and then a healer, I had met many people that I was unable to heal, some even dying in my arms after my attempts ended up being for naught.

Of course, it hurt to see, but in the end, for the most part, I didn't know any of them personally.

So… compared to this… where I wouldn't even have a body to bury and give my last loving kiss goodbye… it hurt.

It hurt more than anything I had faced before, including all the pain of childbirth and when Paul made his mistake with Lilia.

It hurt, but… despite all my motherly love, I knew that there were others whose pain were comparable to mine.

In fact… theirs might have been worse.

After all, I was blessed with five wonderful children and three sons among them, so even if the idea of losing one of them hurt so much… I could recover.

But for those four girls… they each only had one husband, and my grandkids only had one father.

So, as I watched Eris storm out the house, and soon after watching as Paul went over to Norn and Aisha… I knew what I needed to do.

Because even if I felt like the world had cursed me… there were still people I loved, and people Leon loved, that needed my help.

And so, walking out into the backyard, with the sky covered in orange with the setting sun, I heard the sound of a sword cutting through the air as I watched Eris swing down with narrowed, concentrated eyes, her face completely stiff, yet with tears constantly flowing down her cheeks.

"Eris…" I called out to her, having to clear my throat afterwards.

I must look like a mess… but I still couldn't allow this to happen.

Eris was pregnant, and being four months into her term, her belly had formed a bump to show it.

And that was the reason she had been kept home instead of joining him… I couldn't imagine what she was feeling. 

No one in this house could.

After all, while everyone was sure to have feelings of grief and pain, they would likely not have any regret or guilt, for they could not have done anything to save Leon from such a disaster.

But Eris was different.

She was strong… and still, had remained here under Leon's request, leaving him to fight, and die, alone.

Her pain must have been unimaginable.

But even if she was trying to rid of that pain… I couldn't let her do it this way.

"Eris… please, stop," I said, stepping forward, the wind from her swing making my hair flutter about.

She did not listen, instead focusing on her breathing as she swung down again, the grass below shuddering from the force as another artificial breeze brushed past my face.

I bit down on my lip, likely enough for blood to appear, before I stepped forward, not caring if I ended up getting struck by her swing.

"Eris!" I shouted, reaching out to grab her arm that was raising for another swing. "Stop it this instant!"

Thankfully, she did as she was told this time.

Millis knows that if she decided to follow through with her swing, I would have been pulled forward with no restraint.

"…Why?" she asked, her voice hollow and broken.

I felt the tears threaten to flow once more at that tone.

"Eris… you're still pregnant… if you continue training like this, it might harm the baby," I said, trying to pull down her arm.

Thankfully, she followed along with my motions, but she kept hold of her sword nonetheless.

"Eris, darling… this baby… do you not want to keep it?" I asked, moving my hand to her belly. "You should keep it for Leon, at least…"

Her eyes widened at my words before looking towards me, her throat bulging as she swallowed before she let out a raspy voice.

"B-But… do I even deserve it? To have a child… another one of his children… no, I don't deserve it," she said, her voice beginning to quiver. "Swinging a sword is all I'm good for anyway, dammit…"

This girl…

"What is this about, Eris?" I said gently, reaching up to wipe the tears pouring down her face. "Where did such an idiotic thought come from? You're Leon's wife, so of course-"

"But I don't deserve it!" she shouted, making me still as I watched her face crumble into an expression of utter despair. "Not after staying here! Not after letting him go like that! And not… and not after saying that to him before he left…"

I gently brought her head towards me shoulder, bringing my hands up to her long red hair as I felt her tears begin to soak my shirt.

"I… how can I forgive myself! I… told him… I told him that I'd hate him if he didn't come back! But… but that…!" she cried, her voice cracking as she brought her arm around me.

"I know, darling, I was there," I said, gently patting her head to calm her down. "But we all know that it was a lie, you know? Leon included. You should know that."

"B-But… I said it anyway! Why would I say that!? How could I?" she continued, her voice beginning to hiccup as she began to sob. "I… I hate myself…"

I let her heave a few times before speaking up.

"Eris… you shouldn't hate yourself. None of this is your fault, and we all love you. Leon loves… loved you more than anything. You know that, right?" I asked gently.

Eris flinched at the use of past tense, something that pained even me to say.

But we couldn't run away from the truth… especially not right now.

Eventually, I felt her nod in acceptance.

"B-But still… I was horrible… how am I going to forgive myself? The last thought… if his last thought was me saying that…" she struggled to voice out.

"If his last thought was you seeing him off, then I am sure he was as happy as could be," I said, pulling her body against mine. "And aside from his love for you… he knew that you loved him a lot, right? He always told me that your contradicting side was adorable, so there is nothing to forgive yourself for."

I felt Eris begin to tremble as I reached around her sides to hug her, feeling her arm begin to wrap around me in turn.

"I… I… would never hate him… ever," she said, beginning to release the dam holding her emotions back. "I… I love him! More than anything!"

"I know, dear… I know," I replied, feeling myself begin to lose my composure as well.

And so, under the darkening sky, and hearing the worst news that could possibly be delivered, the two of us held each other.

And finally… Eris let her sword fall to the ground.