TATATATA

"SPEEER SPEER" the Spearow growled before his beak started glowing.

Oh crap! 

The glowing beak comes charging towards me. 

I quickly dodge using Quick Attack, shooting sideways like a bird-shaped bullet (with a white glow, no less). Using a move was weird, an energy inside me flowed in a certain manner after which the move was activated.

I stop myself mid-air before face-planting into another tree – close call!

The very angry Spearow who had zoomed in to get revenge... crashes into the tree trunk behind me. The impact sends me tumbling through the air, but I manage to right myself.

I look at the poor bird and can't help but LOL – its beak is stuck in the tree!

Before it can even shout "SPPK!", I pounce on it with Tackle, flying straight into its back like a feathered freight train.

The Spearow's all, "Spearrr Spearr...", but I'm not having it.

I grab its wings with my talons and start pecking away at its head, relentless as a bird-shaped drill. Even when it tries to free its beak, my grip is like steel (or at least, pigeon-strong).

A few moments later.

The poor thing's now whimpering, its head and wings all bloody and bruised. I give it one last peck before letting go – "Spearrr Spearr..." indeed!

I stand victorious, as the Spearow sits in the corner, looking very much subdued. Take that, you dipshit! Don't challenge a hyper-intelligent Pidgey like me! (ok ok, maybe not. Hyper-intelligent might be a stretch... but I'm definitely intelligent than you bird brained thing!)

As I stand over the defeated Spearow, I realize that, despite being a bit of a bird-brain (ahem), I'm still not a total asshole. So, I do the right thing – I leave half of the Oran Berry for my would-be attacker to eat.

After all, sharing is caring... and I'm pretty sure that's what they say in Pokémon world, too. The Spearow looks up at me with a mixture of gratitude and fear (okay, maybe just fear), and I fly off into the sunset, feeling like the most magnanimous Pidgey ever.

Who knows? Maybe this little act of kindness will start a chain reaction of good deeds throughout the land... or maybe it'll just mean that the Spearow won't remember me as the guy who pecked its head to mush. Either way, I'm feeling good about myself – and my Oran Berry-fueled energy is still going strong!

Weirdly I feel a tad stronger than before somehow. Maybe it's just my mind messing with me...

As the sun starts to set, I spot a little town in the distance – and wouldn't you know it? It's Pallet Town! I mean, I've seen this place in three different places, but I never thought I'd end up here as a bird-brained Pidgey!

And how do I know that its Pallet Town? Its written on the goddamn signboard, you bird brained faggot!

Oops, sorry about that, I forgot I'm a bird-brained Pidgey.

So, I fly into the town, and as much as I want to go check out the main character's house (is it Red from the games or Ash from the anime? Ugh, too confusing!), I have no idea where to start. I mean, the game map shows a tiny Pallet Town with barely any buildings... but this place is a whole different story.

It's huge! The houses are all spread out, and they all look similar, so good luck trying to find Ash's home (if it even exists in real life). But one thing stands out – Professor Oak's Lab. I mean, it's not like you could miss that giant windmill and the lab building right next to it.

I'm exhausted from flying around, so I decide to take a break on top of one of these buildings. As I stretch my wings... oops, wrong body!

I had transformed back into my pink, wiggly Ditto form. Guess all that flying was too much for me! Gotta keep that in mind when relaxing my body next time. 

*Yawnnnn*

The sun was already nearly gone, the streetlights had started lightening up the dark pathways. And honestly, I was feeling so damn tired. 

I just spread my body mass flat and sticked to the roof. It was not 5-star, but it was comfortable enough for a sleep.

Moments later, my consciousness slipped into darkness

---

Next Morning

I woke up as a wiggly pink mass (aka Ditto) on top of a house in Pallet Town. But as I stretched a bit instinctively, my body became more vertical than horizontal, toppling my center of mass over. And roll roll roll I did, until my slanted roof ended... and I started freefalling.

"DIIIIIITTTTTT!"

In slow motion, I watched myself plummet towards the ground, expecting to splat like a water balloon. But instead, I bounced a few times, like a pink ball of jelly, before finally landing with a soft thud in the grass.

"Tooo?" 

I'm left staring at my own pink form, trying to process what just happened. Not gonna lie, I totally shat my metaphysical pants!

But Who knew being a Ditto could be so... bouncy? Ditto OP

As I'm still trying to control my body mass to make it moveable, I hear a rustling in the nearby grass.

"Ra?"

"Rata?"

I turn to look at the source of the sounds, and that's when I see them - two massive purple rats, each one bigger than a small dog! Meet Ratatatatata... oops, got a bit more "ta" in the name than I intended.

These chunky rodents are staring at me with beady little eyes, like they're trying to figure out what in the world this pink blob is doing in their yard. I mean, I can't blame them - Ditto doesn't exactly blend in with the surroundings, does it?

The two massive purple rats, Ratatatatata and... um, let's call the other one Ratatata-Two, stare at me in confusion. I'm just standing there, wiggling around like a pink jellybean, looking at their quadruple form in envy when suddenly...

I start changing shape again! My Ditto form begins to morph into a rat-like creature, complete with pointy ears and a long, fluffy tail.

The rats watch in a confused horror as the slime in front of them transforms into another Ratatatatata. It's like they're seeing some kind of pink, wiggly rat-zombie apocalypse unfolding before their eyes!

Ratatatatata and Rattata-Two take a step back, wide-eyed and trembling, as if to say, "Uh, is this the end of our world? Should we start preparing for the Skrull Invasion?"

Ratatatatata and Rattata-Two make a break for it, scurrying off in panic as if their rat brains are about to explode from the sheer horror of seeing me transform into a rat-like creature. I mean, who can blame them? It's not every day you see a pink blob turn into a giant rodent right before your eyes!

"Tata?" I respond, my head tilted.

As they flee, I'm left wondering, did my transformation send them into an existential crisis, too complex for their tiny rat brains to comprehend? Were they pondering the meaning of life and the nature of reality as they ran for their lives?

Or was it just that they're really bad at handling unexpected surprises? Like when you accidentally turn on the vacuum cleaner in a dark room and suddenly there's this loud, terrifying noise. Yeah, that kind of reaction.

I chuckle to myself, thinking about how my Magicarp transformation didn't elicit the same level of terror from its fish-brain. Guess it just takes a certain kind of rat-titude to appreciate Ditto-style transformations!

I'm still getting used to this new quadruple rat-form (Ratatatatata-Rat-Rat-Ditto), but I'm determined to make my way through Pallet Town.

As I emerge from the grassed area and onto the pavement, I meet a mother-daughter pair. The daughter looks like she's in preschool, and her eyes light up when she sees me.

"EHHHH A POKEMON!!" the sheer excitement in her voice scared me for a second there.

She comes running towards me with a squeal of delight, while her mom tries to catch up, looking alarmed.

"A RATATAAA", she squealed again, as if seeing one for the first time. The older lady behind her was rushing to pull the girl back.

But it's too late. The little girl reaches out and grabs my small rat-like body, cooing "SO CUTEE!" in pure joy.

I look up at the mom, who's now standing behind her daughter, looking frazzled.

I try to communicate with a series of helpless squeaks, hoping she'll understand that I'm not exactly a toy or a stuffed animal.

But all the mom can do is laugh nervously and try to pry her little girl loose from my rat-form. I guess it's a good thing I'm not as squishy as I look!

The little girl just can't get enough of me! She's gushing over my rat-form, petting my head, hugging me, and squealing with delight.

I'm loving every minute of it, too. Who am I to stop her? I bask in the adoration, making the most of this adorable moment.

But, as all good things must come to an end, the mother says, "Sweetie, you're going to be late for school."

The girl looks up at me with tears in her eyes and says, "Bye, raty!" before running off with her mom.

The mother exclaimed while running behind her, "Alieee, don't forget to wash your hands!"

The departure was tearful, to say the least, with me making a sad, puppy-like face (or as close to it as I can manage). Who knew being a Ditto could be so... huggable?