103

Feelings of Despair

EVELYN.

My eyes fly open, and I jolt upright from where I was lying down. My heart thumps as I scan the dark surroundings.

Everything is the same as before, unmoving, dark and quiet…

What happened?

I run my hands over my arms and body. I'm fine. Nothing touched me… Then why did

I wake up with a shock? Maybe it was an animal or something.

Ragnar's snoring is the loudest thing around here.

I sigh heavily, my eyes flickering to Zerachiel, who is lying a few metres away, arms

behind his head. He looks as handsome and godly as ever.

My heart squeezes painfully. He has ignored me for the most part, and when our gazes do meet, he has only spared me a moment to give me a look of pure contempt.

I don't understand it… I know he feels I ruin everything, but I also know he doesn't

want to kill me. He stopped talking to Zedkiel because Zedkiel always kills us. So why

is he like this towards me? I'm trying to behave.

"What happened?" Ziahra, the vampire princess, asks, as she and Kash step out from

the temples.

Her lips look a little bruised, and from the way, Kash 's hair is messier, I know they

must have kissed at the least. I'm surprised they haven't done more; with the way, they watch one another when they think the other isn't watching.

"Nothing, I woke up with a start and wondered if something happened…."

They don't trust me, but I want to show Zedkiel that I can be trusted. When they return… even if I'm no longer in control of this body, he'll know that I did listen.

The reminder that when that happens, I'll be alone again fills my mind. Alone in that

dark place, where sometimes there's nothing but loneliness.

"Your neck." Kash says, making me look up.

"My neck?"

Both he and Ziahra move closer when Zerachiel speaks.

"He marked our mate." He says, arrogance and pride clear in his voice.

My breath hitches and I feel as if I've just been punched in the gut.

He didn't waste any time… My eyes prickle and I nod, pulling my legs against my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I nod, as I watch Zerachiel trace his fingers over his mark, one he is so clearly proud of.

"He found Evangeline?" Kash says, looking at Ziahra who looks relieved too.

"Didn't take him long to mark her did it. " Zerachiel taunts me.

"Hey, cut it out." Kash growls. Zerachiel's burning eyes turn on him.

"Don't disrespect me." He snarls.

"I can if you upset her. Zedkiel made it clear she is not to be disrespected either."

Kash snarls. He's defending me…

"I am stronger than Zedkiel. He is just my mere vessel." He says, his eyes blazing.

"He is also a vampire." Ziahra defends her brother. I'm happy they are because I'm

too weak to do so… when it comes to Zerachiel…

"What the fuck are you all being so loud over." Ragnar growls as he sits up.

"Excuse me, may I go for a walk?" I ask Kash.

I know the other two men are awake too and their eyes are all on me. Zerachiel smirks and I can't help but notice the shimmering mark on his neck. I quickly look away, unable to cope with the suffocating pain in my chest.

"I'll come with you." Kash says.

I want to be alone…

I shake my head, "I just want to sleep inside of the temple… the weather is cold, and I

don't actually have a wolf to keep me warm out here…" I say lamely, standing up.

He exchanges looks with Ziahra and when I stand up, making my way into that building that holds ancient powers that make me uneasy, I find an alcove and sit down, wrapping my arms around myself as I stare at the cracked stone floor.

My emotions engulf me. Kash comes over to me, a howling wind coursing through the

temple, sounding like the agony I feel inside.

"Hey… are you alright?" He asks quietly, as he removes his jacket and places it over

me.

I nod, "Of course I am."

There's a sadness in his eyes and he knows what's getting to me.

"The sooner Zedkiel is back, the sooner you don't need to keep an eye on me. I'll be

back in my little corner of Evangeline's mind." I whisper, staring back at the cracked

stone floor.

It reminds me of me… I'm trying to stay together, but even death is better than this.

For the first time in centuries, rather than find love, I want to die. No one loves me or

wants me. No one will want me for Zedkiel….

So why am I even living? No one will miss me when I'm gone…

He places his hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm here if you want to talk." He says. I tilt my head, my eyes flickering black as I look

at him, fighting back my tears.

"Don't force yourself to be nice to me." I say harshly.

"Zedkiel believes there's good in you. So did Evangeline and so do I, not because they said, but because I see you trying." He says quietly.