Brittany
Normal clients want you to give them what they want in the best way possible, people like Lucas barked out orders. Instead of dominating the conversation, he listened and added inputs. It made him feel in charge and broke my resolve.
I know that I should have declined when he asked that we move to a booth at the end of the restaurant. I went ahead and allowed him to seduce me. Lying to yourself now, miss?
I drank and talked with him. Conversation just flowed like old times but I just had to blurt out that embarrassing question. The fog about who Magrete was made me ask.
He didn't act like he was bothered by the bold question and I didn't pull my hand away when he took it. I had a blind date later that night but it was not important. I didn't want him to know anything more than necessary about me.
Necessary had to include how I tasted because I also didn't stop him when he pressed his lips to mine. Instead, my inside turned to liquid lava in his arms. It wasn't old feelings rekindling, it was my underused lady part looking for action.
In all of our escapades, before Lucas ran away like a coward, we only kissed once. But the kiss wasn't like the one in the booth. The kiss from before was drunk and sloppy, this one was hot and consuming. I wanted to have more of him through the kiss.
All the repressed anger that I had was the Ferguson family became further subdued at the touch of our tongues. Instead of running, I fisted his shirt to draw him closer to him. There was no air, he was all I needed at that point.
When we broke apart, l let out a moan of loss. Slowly the euphoria of kissing a man that I desired disappeared. Anger at myself for forgetting the way we were discarded by the Fergusons. Humiliated and chased.
How could I share my body with a man like that? I hate my body for betraying me like that. I hate Lucas and his shitty Family.
By the look on his face, he hated the interruption. It didn't matter that he desired me too. The desire would have changed things years ago but now, the only thing that the mutual desire can lead to is ruin.
Lucas might have the protection to withstand the kind of ruin that our religion will bring. But I don't. Not a second.
So, I did the only sensible thing to do, I picked up my bag and left the restaurant. He heard him call me back but I didn't look back. He didn't look back after that night, why should I offer him the same courtesy?
The drive back home didn't clear my guilt or shame. I cursed at slow drivers, traffic lights and ambulances. All the while, my body yearned for a continuation of the kiss, I don't remember a kiss that good.
I thought to cancel my blind date but no, I was done allowing Lucas to interfere with my life. I picked out a short gown, did my makeup and waited for a call in the living room.
I nursed a glass of wine while waiting for a call from George, my date.
"Damn girl, who is the lucky man tonight?" Silva, my roommate said as she entered the living room with her boyfriend in tow.
"Nice gown, Brit." He said in greeting. Silva gave him a side eye and he turned back to their bedroom.
She picked up a glass and walked over to sit opposite me.
"I have a date tonight. George, a blind date. He would call when he gets to the restaurant," I said as she poured herself wine.
She looked at me as she drank her wine. "Okay, what happened today?"
I looked away from her scrutinising gaze "I already told you. I have a da–"
"Yeah, George. You are just acting weird. And you don't dress like that. She winked as she leaned forward on her thighs. You are having a nightstand!" She did a happy dance and I could only laugh at her excitement.
"Calm down, Nympho. It's just a date but you know, things might be good but he could also be an ugly fat man or a serial killer"
She eased off back in her seat "You have a crazy imagination, Brit. I am the artist here. Just call me when you get to the restaurant or I could even take you and say hi to him. You know let him know that I can trace his ass if anything happens. "
Chandelier by Sia blasted from my phone, interrupting our planning.
"Is he there yet?" Silva asked as I tried to fish out my phone from my purse.
"It's my mother," I said in response as I walked back to my room to receive the call.
My mother and David's family stay in Canada while Brand and I stay in the United States. Most times, Mum called to check up on me, we would gossip and promise to call again. Sometimes, she calls to remind me that my biological clock is ticking.
If she wanted grandchildren, David's wife had given her three. Brand is more of a Playboy so there is no hope of settling down for him. I, however, was growing old without a stable relationship. I tried relationships after we left California, I didn't enjoy sex so it was always a problem with boyfriends.
When sex was not the problem, the boyfriend was. Mum thought that I was still hanging on to what I had with Lucas. "Hi, mum. How are you?"
Mum was fine and enjoying yawning care of her grandchildren while David's wife ran errands. She told me about her neighbours and Brand's success at work. I tell her everything going on at work, well, except Lucas.
Nobody in my family can handle the thought of Lucas in my life. My friendship with Lucas didn't only alter the course of my life, it changed Mum, Brand and David. Things worked out for us later but it wasn't rosy immediately after we left.
We hung up the call with the usual promise to talk later during the week. I spent almost thirty minutes on the call and George hasn't called. Tired of waiting, I failed his line but it went straight to voicemail.
After another thirty minutes, I confirmed that I had been stood up. The one time that I finally decided to go out with a man after almost a year, I was stood up. I headed back to the living room to drown the rest of the wine.
Silva and I insulted George as we emptied the bottle of wine. I was tipsy and my voice was loud as we cursed men. Silva must be a hypocrite because her man was waiting in her room.
She could go in her room and get a drunk fuck but I will be there, hugging my pillow and soliloquizing about architecture. After several meaningless giggles and promises to stay off men like my blindate, we retracted back to our room.
My already short dress had risen to my thighs as I lay in it, staring at the ceiling. My thoughts filtered between my blind date and Lucas. I was getting hot reliving the kiss in my head.
In all honesty, I had high hopes for the cancelled date. Even though we set the date before I met Lucas, I didn't plan to dress up for the date. I dressed to send a message to George, I wanted him to put out the fire that Lucas started in my body.
There was no doubt that I needed to get laid. It had been too long and Mathew was not solely responsible for my need tonight. He was a pest and an inconvenience. I slept off with the thought of breaking communication with Lucas. And continuing what we started in the restaurant.