Chapter 5

They know I'm alive.

But they don't know it's me that's alive. Perhaps if Kallias hears about me, he would realise it's me.

My heart is beating so hard it's killing me. Every turn is anguish. The melancholy air that surrounds the depression of the facades the people put up. They act grateful. I'm grateful they're alive. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't be here. What am I doing? I don't deserve to feel sorry. I caused this.

I tug at my hood and hope my face is undiscoverable. Just like the secrets that were kept from me. Like Father's study at the monastery. As much as I wanted to see. Just a bit more. There was always something that Father never taught me. The secret meetings he would have with Brother, Lyra, Diana, Kallias. They kept something from me. Perhaps to protect me. I kept it hidden that I knew. The Gods know their mysteries, and if they will, Destiny will tell me. She always tells.

I want to leave this god forsaken hell.

I can feel the soldiers staring intently. They're staring at the fact I'm a woman. Soldiers are not allowed to have any sexual relations with civilians, or be married and start families. Having someone you love creates fear. The soldiers would fear losing them, the authorities would fear them rebelling. Only the high rankings are granted families, to keep the title in the family and pass it down generations. It's sick and twisted. The idea of procreating for the sake of the government and tyranny. It's pointless. It would take one son, one daughter, with morals, common sense, justice, the lust for revolt, to overthrow the leadership of this pseudo government.

I follow the Mr, face hidden, eyes down. I find myself bumping into his broad back as he stops to collect his pass. He stares at it for a minute or so before he tucks it away in his back pocket and inhales a deep breath. His head appears in front of my hidden face, and I can tell he's bending over to reach my face. His face only an inch away from my face, and If someone were to bump into me. Our lips would collide. So I stand firm and grip my feet to the ground because I don't love him. I never will. And he will never love me because I took away what he loved. His eyes starry and wide, his eyelashes touching his eyebrows. Perfection. I never really took in his features, but now that he's in front of me. His face is perfect symmetry, proportions that are superior to that of a statue. And his jawline is the perfect angle. But his eyes are soft, but hold ice and sorrow, hidden away by his midnight hair. His eyes hide away secrets that the goddesses themselves could never reveal. His beauty on on another level to Kallias. Kallias holds innocence. A golden boy. But this man, he holds warning. Danger. Sin.

And he whispers.

"Let's go Priestess ." He whispers ever so gently.

I can't tell if he hates me.

It would be so much easier if he did.

I want to know his name.

I want to know what I did to him.

But I do not like him.

Regardless of my obsessive thoughts.

I do not like him.

One word has me questioning my love for Kallias.