Lychee_02

Once, I was told, “Trust in Destiny, believe in what she tells you.” What a joke that turned out to be. Destiny has only ever brought ruin.
Six full moons have passed since I lost everything—six moons that have come and gone, indifferent to my suffering. They leave me behind, walk past me as if I no longer exist, as if I’m already forgotten. I’ve disappointed them, failed them, and I am powerless to ask them to stay. Who knew a voice could give up on you so easily? It’s pitiful. I am pitiful. Once, I was loved by all, and in turn, I loved so deeply it hurt. That love is a distant memory now, a phantom pain that refuses to fade. I still love, though it only brings more pain, more regret. I pray, even now, for someone—anyone—to love me again, to love me so fiercely that I can forget the pain I caused my people.

“Lilac eyes,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. “Your name is..."

"Elayne."

Destiny Tells

Thanks to the sandstorm and Caelestis' inhuman stamina, we were able to lose the soldiers and find what used to be a warehouse as a hideaway.

"The soldiers wouldn't follow us here. See those mountains? That's cougar territory. They would rip anything to shred. If the soldiers realised we were here, they would automatically believe us dead. I'm guessing you're scared?"

"Well tough," he shrugs his shoulders as if it's inevitable.

"If you get eaten it's not my fault."

He's so two-faced. Was I just imagining what happened a few moments ago? I thought he was a decent human being for a second. I lost myself. But now I'm sure what he's actually like. Kallias would never switch like that.

A step inside and insects scatter about, flickering about like the sparks on detonating cord. This is probably one of the more recent warehouses before everything changed. The dry scent of paint and metal dawdles, and it's a lot cooler in here than the hell outside. Most likely due to the insulation preventing the night air from escaping. It's heaven. It's pitch black, there's an absence of windows, the ground is hard, but it's perfect.

I wouldn't mind being eaten by a cougar here.

This is my new home. Home. I can't remember the last time I had somewhere to stay the night. I used to find myself covered in sand, in a cave surrounded by beetles, centipedes, spiders, stung by a scorpion, but it was never deathly. When I wanted to die, my luck would save me. Destiny doesn't give me death as an option, nor choice. I have to live by her even if it means to suffer.

I used to find thinking to myself would help me pass the time. And it did. But I felt myself falling to insanity by the day. I would think to myself everything I wanted to say, express, but no matter my efforts, nothing.

I avoided having to talk to people in public, I just accepted everything. I was hopeless. But perhaps I'm not hopeless? Maybe destiny kept me alive to fix this world, maybe she borrowed my hope to keep me alive, and now she's given it back.

She sent me Caelestis for a reason.

She left this warehouse for a reason.

Everything has a reason, I just don't see them.

And now I think I might kill them.

Chapter 7