Hidden Void

It has been a week since that skip a beat drama and right now I was with Michael.

"I'm sorry man, I really thought she liked you, I guess I was wrong. I still feel guilty about it. I hope you have up on her."

"Yaa I did. I don't even think about her anymore."

"You sure?"

"Yup pretty sure."

"Well that's good than."

In truth I wasn't over her at all, all I do is think about her and the moments I've had with her.

That was the only time she looked at me and she never glanced at me again.

I still can't think as to why she was so shocked that I was talking to Alicia, was she so close to her already that she felt betrayed that Alicia was talking to me.

Just how much do you hate me anyway? All I did was tell you about my feelings and you are just treating me like I'm the devil or something.

Did you treasure our friendship that much? Or is it just plain hatred and indifference directed towards me because she didn't like such a low class being as myself confess to her?

Well whatever it is it probably ain't ganna make me happy anyway so I'm ganna stop thinking about it.

"So tell me what are you up to these days? It looks like you are Alicia have gotten closer? Have you started falling for her?"

"Nope, she's just a friend. I won't make the same mistake I made before, if I am able to stop any premature feelings and suppress them I should be able to kill any lingering feelings welling ip inside me. That way I won't fall in love again."

"So you still can't forget haa?"

I sighed and said

"Ofcourse I can't, the hell! Honestly all I do is think about her day and night. I still can't get her out of my mind and it's killing me."

"Haa, you really haven't give up on her have you?"

"Actually, I've given up on her ages ago, the day I realised she liked someone else in middle school. While he did leave the school halfway, he was probably the most good-looking man out there that I've ever seen so there's no way she'd settle for a good for nothing like me."

"Than what's stopping you from giving up on her?"

"It's never even been about giving up, I gave up on being liked by her the day I confessed to her, but those feelings won't go away no matter how much I try to get them out."

"Damn, that must be hard."

"You Popular dudes wouldn't understand what it's like to like a women for 9 years. She was everything to me, I only realised my shortcomings after I'd reached Middle school and Saw that guy.

Until than, it was too late. I'd already deeply fallen in love with her."

"Broo, you weren't even 12 years and you saying you feel in love?"

"I mean liked her enough to not wanna let her go."

"Man, you are so confusing. Alright break's about to end so I'm going back bye."

"Alright."

I wonder why he asked me all that, if he feels really guilty that I got rejected by her but honestly I let myself be delusional and think I stood a chance.

But in the end she doesn't even see me as a human and I was honestly right about standing no chance.

..

"So you heard it, he hasn't gotten over you yet, what are you gonna do Rose?"

A bit confused she said.

"What am I supposed to do? I'm unclear about my own emotions so I have no clue if I should tell him I like him back or not and not after brutally rejecting him like that."

"*Sigh* why is it so hard to just go out with him and get to know your feelings?"

"You do not understand, he deserves closure. If I noticed afterwords that I had no feelings for him and what I was feeling for him was pity or any other emotion. He'd be devastated."

"So what are you gonna do? Because he won't like you forever and with Alicia in the picture being so close to him, you don't know how long he'll keep liking you."

"I need some time to sort them out."

"Well whatever you say, why don't we leave now?"

"Alright let's go."

Right as she was about to leave she thought of 2 things.

1 was the fact that he hadn't given up on her and the other was that he soon might lose his feelings for her.

She felt both happiness and sadness but she didn't know which belonged to which.

There were a mixture of emotions she couldn't discern and was at a loss.

All she knew for now was that to her Malcom meant more to her than she had initially thought.

She suddenly realised that she had an empty void inside her heart but couldn't discern what it was or why it was there.

She now realised it was because of Malcom.

Was the void created because she'd lost a precious friend or was it something else.

Even she couldn't understand.

...

***END OF CHAPTER 7***