ROMEO AND UGH

As we walked into class, I realized too late that it was Miss Denise's class again! I was still getting used to the constant rescheduling and kept confusing her classes with Mr. Reynolds', the quirky teacher who could put even the most enthusiastic student to sleep with his monotonous drone. I mean, the Roman Empire was fascinating and all, but Mr. Reynolds' delivery was as dull as a koala's voice. Miss Denise, on the other hand, was her usual sad and not very cheerful self to say the least, her stern expression a warning sign to behave. I ignored the eager beavers vying for my attention and made my way to the back of the classroom, my bag thudding against the desk as I claimed my seat. That's when I caught Kevin's eye, and he flashed me a charming wink. Okay, so I might have exaggerated when I said I had no friends – there's Fiona - that's already established and Kevin, the rich guy who's surprisingly down-to-earth and cool. We just clicked, you know? I still remember the day he transferred to our school and approached me out of the blue, asking to be friends. We've been tight ever since, even though I've noticed he's been skipping classes a lot lately. It's weird, but we're not quite close enough for me to pry into his business, and he's never volunteered any explanations. I returned his wink with a smile and settled into my seat, ready to face whatever Miss Denise had in store for me.

"The project-turned-assignment?" Miss Denise's voice dripped with disdain, her eyes narrowing into slits as she glared at me. I gulped, my throat constricting with anxiety. Ugh, I loathed her more than Larry's putrid body odor or Dad's annoying goldfish that always seemed to be staring at me with an air of superiority. But, I had to admit, I was preoccupied and genuinely forgot about the assignment... or so I told myself. Honestly, I just thought it was a waste of time and didn't bother to do it. Big mistake.

"Uhm... ma'am," I stuttered, my voice barely audible, and Miss Denise's eyebrows furrowed in displeasure. That's when I caught Oliver's eye, and he mouthed "it's in your bag!" What the...?! Oliver, the richest nerd in our class, whose dad was an FBI agent and whose mom owned a Chelsea-inspired boutique (yes, that Chelsea!), had done my project for me?! I was stunned, but I quickly recovered and rummaged through my bag, which felt like a foreign entity at that point. And then, I felt it - the project, as real as my dad's grey hairs. I handed it over to Miss Denise, who looked impressed, a small smile playing on her lips. "Impressive!" she exclaimed, and I let out a sigh of relief, grateful to have dodged that bullet - for the time being.

Miss Denise grasped my project, her fingers wrapping around it like a vice, and placed it neatly between a stack of files on her cluttered desk. As the classroom erupted into a gentle hum of chatter, I turned to Kevin, who flashed me a charming smile and mouthed a silent "hello!" I replied with a subtle nod and a whispered "hi" back. Kevin chuckled and whispered, "Narrow escape, dude!" I was about to respond with a witty remark when Miss Denise spun around, her eyes scanning the room like a hawk. "Settle down, class!" she commanded, her voice stern.

The moment she turned her back, I shot Kevin an inquiring glance, my eyebrow arching upwards in a silent question. "You weren't in class yesterday!" I whispered, instantly regretting my words as they came out sounding more accusatory than curious. Kevin's smile faltered for a moment, and I feared I had overstepped. But he quickly recovered, his expression morphing into a playful smirk. "Man, what do you do, she barely notices you!" he whispered back, his eyes sparkling with mischief. Just then, Miss Denise's voice boomed through the room once more, "Enough! Let's focus, class!" and we all fell silent, our conversations extinguished like candles in the wind. Miss Denise cleared her throat, her voice piercing through the lingering chatter. "So, from where we left off, we've explored the themes of love, fate, and identity in small groups, as presented in Romeo and Juliet." The room gradually quieted, with the exception of a few enthusiastic girls who couldn't contain their squeals and giggles, their eyes gleaming with excitement. I rolled my eyes, my face contorting in distaste. I mean, I get it, love is great and all, but Romeo and Juliet? Ugh, don't even get me started. It's just a bunch of outdated drama about two people who made some seriously questionable life choices. Like, what's the big deal about two teenagers sneaking around, disobeying their parents, and ultimately dying in each other's arms? It's not exactly the most uplifting tale. In summary they were just dumb horny teenagers with no brain cells.

Miss Denise continued, her voice dripping with enthusiasm, "Today, we'll be diving into Act 2, where we'll dissect the iconic balcony scene, where Romeo and Juliet declare their undying love for each other." The class erupted into a chorus of "awws," their collective sighs and coos making me want to gag. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me, my internal monologue screaming, "Gag me with a spoon!" But, of course, I kept my sarcastic comments to myself, not wanting to incur the wrath of Miss Denise or my lovesick classmates. Miss Denise's voice cut through the air, her enthusiasm a stark contrast to our collective apathy. "So, we have some tasks to tackle!" she announced, her words met with a chorus of groans and sighs. I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck that way, my head falling back against the chair with a soft thud. "Ugh, great," I thought, "just what I needed, more busywork."

Miss Denise continued, her voice dripping with excitement, "First, analyze the symbolism of the balcony in the scene. What does it represent? What message is Shakespeare trying to convey?" I zoned out, my gaze wandering aimlessly around the classroom. That's when I spotted Dave and Yemma, their eyes locked in a lovesick gaze. I shut my eyes, my face contorting in disgust. "Gross," I thought, "get a room, already!" I knew Dave was just playing Yemma, using her for his own entertainment. He didn't care about her feelings, just his own selfish desires. The man just wanted some bang that's all. And Yemma, poor thing, was too blinded by love to see the truth. I didn't bother trying to intervene, though. I was too jaded, too cynical, to waste my time on their drama. Besides, I had my own problems to worry about.

The sappy love talk was suffocating me, so I stood up, raising my hand like a beacon of desperation. "Excuse me, Miss Denise, may I be excused?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. But Miss Denise wasn't having it. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she replied with a hint of amusement, "You're not going anywhere, Mr..." She trailed off, as if she knew I was fed up with her lecture.

I persisted, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "But...I really need to use the restroom." I pleaded, hoping she'd show some mercy. But Miss Denise just gazed at me, her expression unyielding. I was taken aback - the fact that my wish had no sort of effect on her was absolutely scary like fuck you woman, loosen up!

I decided to play my trump card. "With all due respect, if you don't let me go, I'll pee in my pants right here in class." I declared, trying to sound confident and nonchalant. Then, I turned on my heel and walked out of the classroom, ignoring the snickers and impressed glances from my classmates. Where was this confidence coming from? Even I was surprised.