Hell isn't that bad

"Hey Lucifer, get back to work! You've been slacking off too much. A new batch of sinners just arrived—go torture them!"

You see that guy yelling at me from outside? That's Satan, one of the seven devils of Hell. He can be annoying sometimes, but he's my best friend.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting up," I grumble. It's time to get to work, or the other devils will end up torturing me instead of the sinners.

I drag myself out of bed, stretching my wings and cracking my neck. My room is a mess—half-burned scrolls, a trident I haven't used in ages, and a pile of skulls I've been meaning to organize. Hell's version of spring cleaning is long overdue.

"Morning, Satan," I nod.

He seemed annoyed. "Morning, Luci. Will you finally do your your work today?"

"Yeah, I promise."

I finally reach the torture chamber, where Asmodeus is busy setting up the newest devices. "Hey, Asmo," I call out. "Got anything fun today?"

Asmodeus grins, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Oh, you bet. We just got a new shipment of tickle feathers and irony mirrors."

I raise an eyebrow. "Irony mirrors?"

"Yeah, they show sinners the exact opposite of what they want to see. It's hilarious."

"Sounds like a riot," I say, grabbing a pair of tickle feathers. "Let's get to work, then."

As I start my day of tormenting the damned, I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, Hell isn't such a bad place after all. Sure, the work is tough, and the company can be a bit much, but hey, at least it's never boring.

"Hey Luci, check that out," Asmodeus said, pointing at a guy who kept licking the mirror. "That guy is probably seeing some hot chick in the Desire Mirror. Seeing how he keeps licking that mirror, hahaha! Humans are so funny."

I found it a little funny but mostly gross. "We have to get someone to clean this—"

"Luci, he's pulling down his pants! Let's mess with him; let's make that image a guy."

"Why are humans so filthy sometimes? They have thinking capabilities, but they still act like swines," I said, shaking my head. "Yeah, let's do that."

Asmodeus smirked and waved his hand over the mirror. The image changed, and the guy suddenly stopped, his eyes wide with horror. "What the hell?!" he screamed, stumbling backward.

Asmodeus and I burst into laughter. "Priceless!" Asmodeus said, wiping a tear from his eye. "You'd think they'd learn by now."

"Yeah, well, some people never do," I replied, still chuckling.

The guy, now thoroughly embarrassed, scrambled to pull up his pants and fled from the room. "Guess he won't be back anytime soon," I said.

"One can hope," Asmodeus replied, grinning. "So, what's on the agenda for the rest of the day?"

"I don't know," I said, stretching. "Maybe I'll check in on the soul pits, make sure everything's running smoothly. You?"

"I've got a meeting with Satan about the budget for new torture devices. Can you believe he wants to cut our funding again?"

"Typical Satan," I said, rolling my eyes. "Always trying to save a buck."

"Yeah, well, we'll see about that," Asmodeus said, cracking his knuckles. "Anyway, catch you later, Luci."

"Later, Asmo."

I made my way to the soul pits, enjoying the fiery warmth of the corridors. On the way, I passed by a few other demons, all busy with their own tasks. It was just another day in Hell, after all.

When I arrived at the pits, I found them bustling with activity. Demons were hard at work, tormenting souls with all manner of creative punishments. I spotted Beelzebub overseeing the operations and made my way over to him.

"Hey Beelz," I said. "Everything running smoothly?"

"Yeah, mostly," Beelzebub replied. "Had a bit of a hiccup earlier with the fire pits, but we got it sorted out. What brings you down here?"

"Just checking in," I said. "Thought I'd see if you needed any help."

"Actually, now that you mention it," Beelzebub said, scratching his head. "We've got a group of particularly stubborn souls that could use some extra attention. Feel like lending a hand?"

"Sure, why not," I said. "Lead the way."

Beelzebub led me to a group of souls who were chained to a wall, their faces twisted in defiance. "These guys have been giving us a lot of trouble," he explained. "Thought maybe you could work your magic on them."

I stepped forward, studying the souls. "Alright, let's see what we've got here," I said, cracking my knuckles. "Who's first?"

The first soul, a burly man with a thick beard, glared at me. "You think you can break me? Think again."

"We'll see about that," I said, grinning. I leaned in close, my eyes glowing with an infernal light. "Tell me, what's your biggest fear?"

The man hesitated, his bravado faltering. "Spiders," he muttered.

"Spiders, huh?" I said, nodding. "Alright, let's see how you handle this."

I snapped my fingers, and a swarm of giant, demonic spiders materialized, crawling all over the man's body. He screamed, thrashing against his chains, but there was no escape.

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Get them off me! Please!" he begged, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't know," I said, pretending to think. "What do you think, Beelz? Should we let him off easy?"

Beelzebub grinned. "Nah, let him squirm a bit longer."

"Sounds good to me," I said, turning my attention to the next soul. "And what about you? What's your fear?"

The second soul, a thin, wiry woman, looked terrified. "Heights," she whispered.

"Heights, huh?" I said, nodding. "Alright, let's give you a little lift."

I snapped my fingers again, and the woman was lifted high into the air, suspended over a pit of boiling lava. She screamed, her body trembling with fear.

"Having fun yet?" I called up to her.

"Please, bring me down! I'll do anything!" she cried.

"Anything, huh?" I said, smirking. "We'll see about that."

I spent the next few hours tormenting the stubborn souls, each one breaking under the pressure. By the time I was finished, they were all begging for mercy.

"Nice work, Luci," Beelzebub said, clapping me on the back. "You really know how to get results."

"Thanks, Beelz," I said, wiping the sweat from my brow. "Just doing my job."

As I made my way back to my quarters, I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Sure, it was tough work, but there was something oddly fulfilling about it.

When I got back to my room, I flopped down on my bed, exhausted. "Another day in Hell," I muttered to myself. "Another day of torture and mayhem."

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, there was a knock on my door. "Luci, you in there?" came a familiar voice.

I groaned and sat up. "Yeah, I'm here. What is it?"

The door creaked open, and Satan stuck his head in. "Hey, I was wondering if you could help me out with something."

"Depends," I said, raising an eyebrow. "What's the favor?"

"I need you to convince Asmodeus to back off on the budget cuts," Satan said, looking sheepish. "He's really pushing hard, and I could use some backup."

I sighed. "Fine, I'll talk to him. But you owe me one, Satan."

"Deal," Satan said, grinning. "Thanks, Luci. You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah," I said, waving him off. "Now get out of here. I'm trying to get some sleep."

Satan chuckled and closed the door. I lay back down, staring up at the ceiling. "Another day in Hell," I repeated to myself. "Never a dull moment."

As I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but wonder what tomorrow would bring. More chaos, more laughter, more of the same. But hey, that's life in Hell. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.