008 · Everyone is Looking at Her

Mass release: 2/16

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Lovise Holst-Mathiasen

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"Psychopathy isn't something that one evolves with time, through losses, or through bloodlust, sir Cian. It is a situation one is born with, that may be genetic and can also be passed down, like a virus. To suggest I evolved psychopathy after watching Thea Haynes killing my then 12-year-old brother, and later watching Law Haynes killing my mother, is but a wrong assumption, that it akin to one being less intelligent than others around then, a synonym to dumbness."

"A psychopath's mentally ill and defective from birth, they cannot feel or understand any kind of emotions, even if they mastered pretending the opposite, making it hard to spot them. They don't feel love of any kind, they don't feel sadness, compassion, grief, anger, guilt, they don't crave for revenge, they are empty shells, they feel no remorse for anything, they are the malefic kind of narcissistic to a fault, and they have a tendency to being murderers, serial killers in fact."

"They kill for the sake of killing, for a momentary sensation of sick pleasure, they kill babies, animals, people, all kinds of living being. When I kill someone, I'll do it to survive, for revenge, or because the person really messed with me in a way they shouldn't. You fits in the later," I smiled at him, like I said nothing bad, "the people I kill in the game fits in the first, and my grandmother fits in the second."

Severin held Cian so he wouldn't touch me, "Ugh, damn it, Cian, get a hold, man. The governor said we cannot harm any of them, no matter the reason. She's under my wing, I can't let you touch her. So, hold your damn temper. You provoked her first," he snapped. "They are watching."

He let out some disgusting curses, and I stared at my nails, done by them, admiring their good skills in manicure and the pretty nail polisher. Acting as if I didn't just poke this snake where it must hurt. "What? Can't handle my poison?" I mocked, glaring back at him. "Than you shouldn't have poked a cursed viper like me, Orangeee."

Timmy held my right arm, bringing me back, and I looked at him over my shoulder, finding him scared but near laughing, "Stop, Love."

"What? He started it," then I glared at the ginger again. "I bet he only tried to grow over me because I'm a female, and because I'm probably 30 years younger than him." His eyes almost popped out of his face with my offense, "Tsk. A grown-ass man being misogynist."

"I am gay, how am I misogynist?" He yelled at me.

"Since when being gay makes you woman. You're gay, not trans. Do I really need to teach you everything?" I mocked, sounding done with him. "You were born in area 0, bitch, I grew in areas 22 and 28, aren't you humiliating yourself much? You do know misogyny and homophobia are completely different things, yeah?"

"Stop it, Mathiasen," Severin snapped at me.

I rolled my eyes and walked past them, out of the train and into a fancy train station, finding 25 tributes, and 30 staff from area 0, all of their eyes on me, trying to be intimidating. "Kids," I spoke with a grin, "I am Love Mathiasen, and it's amazing to meet you, I've been waiting for this since I was 10 years old. You all must know me," I said with a smug, "I do not know most of you, but I bet that will change. Not like many of you will live that long or be anything short of side characters to us protagonists."

Oh, man, I've been dreaming with mocking all of them. It's good.

"Protagonists?" A deep male voice spoke and a trio of people in red attire crossed the crowd, the guy in the middle being the one who spoke to me. Tanned skin, wavy black hair, hunter peridot green eyes, with full sexy lips, dimples, build in muscles and really bloody tall. "Who would that be?"

By how everyone around us tensed up, looking from him to me and back to him, even his companions did. It's no wonder, everyone expect me to do what my parents and my brother did, but I meant what I said. "You and me, who else?" I said with a smile, no mockery in it. "There's no better story than a centenary grudge between families. You look just like your father, Haynes."

He narrowed his eyes down at me, "And you look like your mother, Lovise Holst-Mathiasen," at least he said my full name.

I played with my braids, "You think? I always thought I looked like my brother, who looked like both mom and dad, though I can't say much about that, since he died four months after I was born. Jo says I am more like my father personality-wise."

"Jo?" He arched an eyebrow.

"My father's sister, and my only surviving family."

"You grandmother is still alive," he countered.

"Not to me," I tilted my head, looking at him from head to toe, and back to his face, clicking my tongue.

"Do you want revenge?" He asked.

"On who, exactly?" I played dumb.

"You know what I meant."

"No, I don't. Be clear," I insisted.

"Do you plan on getting revenge for your families' deaths?"

"Why do you think I'll kill Greta when I'm done here?" I scoffed.

He glared at me, "Revenge on me, stop acting stupid."

"Did you kill my mother, brother, or father?"

"What?"

I tilted my head, "No. You did not. Trying to stupidly punish you for something you did not do, is not how I do things. You didn't kill any of them, your father did, your aunt did, your uncle did, not you. We are not to blame for the mistakes of our blood-relatives, you are not to blame for theirs and neither am I for my family. Besides, going after you is not worthy to me, and it won't help my planes, Haynes. The route I'll follow does not includes your death or mine."

"And what route would that be?" He mocked.

Bring my hands down to my waist, I blinked, "We are not allies, or friends, lovers, acquaintances, rivals, or enemies, we're nothing, I don't see why I should I tell you anything at all, Haynes. You don't need a tip about what I think will be the best course of action for you, because you will be on top at the end regardless of where my intuition points at."

"We are all rivals in this game, Lovise."

"Maybe the others, but not you, Haynes," I mumbled.

"What are you playing by saying that?" He narrowed his eyes.

"I don't see how that could concern you, Haynes," I grinned.

"Stop playing with your words."

"Why should I when it's so fun?" I chuckled. "Why are you waiting for me to hand your story's plot in your hands? I am not going to go after you, I don't blame you for my families' deaths, I blame the ones who killed them, but more than anything, I blame Greta. She made them go for revenge in the games, and that got them ultimately killed. In the end, like it or not, your family isn't really at fault, they were chosen for the game, it's a game where you either kill or get killed, my family tried to kill them because of Greta's manipulation, they murdered them in self-defense. I would be no short of a hypocrite to curse them for it, when I'll do the same here."

Everyone spoke for a minute, until everyone began to murmur shit like 'Who has such a sick logic?', and other stuff that I couldn't care less.

"Nobody thinks like that," Dominic snapped, not believing in me.

"Call me nobody then, pretty boy," I purred. "Because I do, and I'll stand by it, because that's what I believe in. I am not easily manipulated, and I am not my parents, or my brother. I am not emotional, I am rational. It's weird if you don't think like I do, to be honest. Blaming a child for their blood-relatives mistakes is sick. I can talk about that because that's what everyone in area 27 did to me, they blamed me for my mom's mistakes. If I do that, I'll became those who hurt me, and all of my arguments against their past actions with become invalid."

"Then do you think that those who glorify me for being the son of my father who won the last games and kept my family's honor by keeping the first place, are wrong?" He smirked.

"I do," I said, unfazed. "You did nothing to deserve that. The blood spilled for the win is on his hands, not on yours. If you are not to blame for the pain of those left behind by the people he murdered in the games, then you are not to be glorified by the things he won for the bloodbath in the past game. Those were his accomplishments, for better or worse, not yours."