Chapter 44 - Finding Solace

Baldwin's Mansion

For a few heart-stopping seconds, Blaze could only stare, his breath caught in his throat. She looked so small, so fragile, standing there in the doorway. Her face was pale, her eyes red and rimmed with exhaustion. It was like seeing a ghost of the woman he knew, someone who had been hiding away in a world he couldn't reach. His vision blurred with tears, the floodgates opening in a way he hadn't allowed them to before. The relief of seeing her again, the fear and love that swirled together in a chaotic dance, was almost overwhelming. He pushed himself up from the floor, his legs feeling unsteady as he moved towards her. Every step felt like a monumental effort, his body driven by the sheer force of his emotions.

When he reached her, he hesitated for a split second, unsure of what she needed from him. But then, instinct took over, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. Her frame was slight and trembling against him, and he could feel the exhaustion in her every breath.

"Savannah" Blaze spoke as he embraced her, Savannah felt a bit uncomfortable and broke away from his arms cage around her, "Who are you to touch me without my consent" Savannah said with stonic face, and it was the most hurtful thing she had ever said to Blaze in the one and a half years they lived together.

He approached her with what he thought was a warm, affectionate gesture, hoping to bridge the distance that had seemed to grow. His arms wrapped around her, expecting a comforting embrace in return, only to feel her stiffen and pull away. The rejection was palpable, and it struck him deeply.

As he stood there, struggling to mask his hurt and confusion, he was left with a heavy silence. The bond he had hoped to reinforce felt strained, and he knew he needed to address it, but wasn't sure how. All he wanted now was to understand what had changed and how he could navigate this new and unexpected emotional landscape.

"Ms. Miller-" Arthur was cut off by his boss "My apologies, I'm so sorry" Blaze apologized for his overjoy, "Take me" Blaze became confused as to what Savannah was referring to, take her, Where, Blaze knit his brows and looked at Savannah, "Where do you want to go?" He asked Savannah to be more specific about the specific location.

"Funeral Home" hearing that, Arthur looked at his Boss and tried to see what he felt, but he could only see a face which showed nothing, Arthur knew how Blaze was hurt by the woman who didn't believe him.

On the other hand, despite the hurt, Blaze still cared deeply for Savannnah and wanted to find a way to resolve the mistrust. He hoped that through open and honest dialogue, they might rediscover their mutual respect and understanding. It was a painful and challenging situation, but he remained committed to addressing it, believing that this relationship was worth the effort to rebuild the trust that seemed to be slipping away.

Funeral Home

For Savannah being at the funeral home was an emotional pilgrimage fueled by a deep- seated need for verification and truth. The place, with its muted colors and quiet reverence, felt almost surreal as she walked through it, her heart pounding with a mix of hope and dread. She was there to confront a question that had been haunting her: Was her child truly gone, or was there a chance-however slim-that he might still be alive?

Each step she took through the solemn corridors carried the weight of her fears and hopes. The atmosphere was heavy with the gravity of loss, and every detail seemed magnified by the intensity of her emotions. She had seen the official declarations, death certificate, but her heart struggled to accept them. The finality of death was a concept that felt too immense to fully grasp, and a part of her clung to the possibility of a different reality.

She approached the staff and examined the documents that they handed to her, her hands trembled, her mind racing with questions and doubts. The logical part of her understood the reality of the situation, but the emotional part couldn't let go of the hope that there might be some mistake, some chance for a miracle. How can it happen? It wasn't just about needing to see the physical evidence but also about seeking reassurance that her child was truly gone and that she wasn't missing some crucial piece of truth.

The funeral home, with its clinical yet compassionate atmosphere, felt like both a place of closure and a battleground for her emotions. She might have looked at photographs, spoken with caregivers, or reviewed records, but nothing could fully answer the burning question in her heart. Every interaction was a desperate attempt to ground herself in reality, even as she grappled with the deep-seated fear that she might be facing a truth she wasn't ready to accept. In her quest for clarity, she felt a profound mixture of anguish and determination. Everything showed only one thing... that he is gone and she needed to face this truth head-on, no matter how painful, to begin the process of mourning and to find a way to move forward. The visit was a crucial step in her journey, an effort to reconcile the unbearable pain of losing her child with the need for undeniable truth, hoping that in confronting the stark reality, she might find some semblance of peace.

Stepping out of the funeral home, she was enveloped by the crisp air that seemed to offer a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere she had just left behind. The reality she had faced inside was raw and unrelenting. The truth was now undeniable: her child was really gone, and the finality of it all hit her with a crushing weight. Her mind was a tumultuous mix of numbness and sorrow. The funeral home had been a place where she had confronted every detail of her loss-meticulously verified, examined, and accepted. The echoes of final goodbyes and the cold, unyielding reality of what she had seen and heard felt like a heavy shroud around her.

Blaze watched savannah as she struggled with herself, watching her emerge from the funeral home was a heart-wrenching experience. He had known this moment would be difficult, but seeing her struggle with the finality of her loss brought an intense, painful clarity to the gravity of their situation.

Every part of him ached to comfort her, to bridge the distance that now seemed to separate them. He could see the conflict in her eyes-the mixture of devastation and numbness-as if she were struggling to reconcile the reality she had just faced with the world she had once known. Her body language spoke volumes, her shoulders slumped, and her steps were hesitant, as if each one was a struggle against an invisible force pulling her down.

Blaze had witnessed these all an year ago, same things were going when Theo dismissed year ago, though he was again expreiecing this, there wasnt any didference between that time and this present time, he was all distant from her that time too and now he is distant with her too, perhaps he was meant to not to be envolved with her. is it her wish? or did she forget him too? Lots of questiones were surrounfing his mind but she shook them all because he knows the state Savannah is in right now is very difficult to differentiate between reality and illusion.

Blaze had witnessed all of this a year ago, and when Theo dismissed a year ago, the same things continued. Even though he expressed this again, there was no difference between the time, then and now. In the past, he was distant from her, just as he is now, perhaps he was not meant to be involved with her.

There were many questions swirling in his mind, but he shook them all away because Savannah's state right now makes it nearly impossible to discern between reality and illusion.

-Time skip

This one request was a heavy and unexpected one for Blaze. Stirring up a mix of emotions and memories. When she asked to be taken to their child's graveyard, he felt a deep, immediate sense of sadness and concern. It was a place fraught with profound grief and longing, and he couldn't help but worry about what this visit might bring up for her.

He recalled the many moments of pain and loss she had shared since her child's passing- moments that had tested her strength. Her desire to visit the graveyard seemed to carry a weight that was both intimate and vulnerable. He understood that this was likely a significant step for her, a way to process her emotions, seek closure, or simply honor their child's memory in a way that had meaning for her. or want to believe the reality.

As they drove to the graveyard, Blaze grappled with his own feelings of helplessness. He wanted to be there for her, to offer comfort and understanding, but he was unsure of how best to do so. The silence in the car was heavy with unspoken words, and he focused on being present, ready to listen and support her in whatever way she needed.

He knew that this visit was important to her, and he hoped that by sharing this moment, she might find some solace. His thoughts were a blend of sorrow and empathy, and he resolved to approach the day with sensitivity and an open heart, recognizing that this was a journey they needed to navigate.

Graveyard

Standing at the edge of her child's graveyard for the first time, she felt an overwhelming mix of trepidation and sorrow. The cemetery, with its rows of headstones and the quiet stillness that enveloped it, seemed to hold a profound gravity. This was the place where the finality of her child's death was most starkly laid out, and she felt a deep need to confront this reality in person.

Her heart raced as she approached, each step a struggle against the heavy weight of her emotions. She had heard about the graveyard, had seen pictures, but now she needed to confront it directly. There was an almost surreal quality to the moment, the physical space seemed to amplify the enormity of her grief. She scanned the neatly arranged rows of headstones, feeling a sense of disorientation. Her mind was clouded with doubts and fears, unable to fully grasp the finality of the situation. Was this really the place where her child was laid to rest, or was there a chance, however faint, that the reality was different from what she had been told?

As she moved closer to the specific plot, her eyes were drawn to the simple headstone marking her child's resting place. The engraved name and dates seemed both intimately familiar and overwhelmingly distant. She reached out, her fingers brushing against the cold, stone surface, as if seeking some form of reassurance or connection.

The silence around her felt profound, as if it was holding its breath along with her. She wanted to believe in the finality that the headstone represented, yet part of her struggled with the idea of accepting it completely. The reality of her child's death was something she had grappled with mentally but had not yet fully embraced emotionally.

The more she looked at the grave, the more the truth began to settle in, though it was a painful and reluctant acceptance. The physical presence of the grave, the quiet solemnity of the cemetery, and the finality of the headstone all pointed to the same unyielding truth. Her child was indeed gone.

Despite the overwhelming sadness, there was also a glimmer of solace in this confrontation. By coming here, she had taken a step towards accepting the reality she had been avoiding. It was a painful but necessary journey to fully grasp the finality of her loss.

As she stood there, the stillness of the graveyard began to seep into her, offering a strange and somber form of clarity. It was a step towards acknowledging the truth and beginning the difficult process of finding a way to live with the profound emptiness that now defined her life.

Her breath hitched and came in ragged gasps as she knelt beside the grave, her tears falling freely, mixing with the fallen leaves around her. Each tear was a silent testament to the love she felt and the pain she was enduring. Her sobs were quiet but insistent, a deep, aching cry that seemed to resonate with the quiet of the cemetery. She clutched a small, weathered photograph of her son in one hand, her fingers trembling as she held it close to her chest. The image of his smiling face was a bittersweet reminder of what had been lost.

In this moment, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them-her and her child. The grave, a stark reminder of his absence, felt both too close and too distant. She wanted to reach out and hold him, to feel his warmth and hear his laughter once more, but the harsh reality of the cold, unmoving stone reminded her that those moments were gone forever. She spoke to him through her tears, her voice breaking with each word. She whispered about how much she missed him, how much she wished things could have been different. She told him about her regrets and her love, the kind of things a mother says when she feels most vulnerable. Her words were a mix of sorrowful confessions and desperate hopes for some form of connection that transcended the physical absence. Her cries echoed softly in the stillness of the graveyard, mingling with the rustling of leaves and the distant murmur of the wind. It was a sacred, solitary moment of grief, where the enormity of her loss felt both crushing and profoundly intimate. She longed for some sign of solace, some way to bridge the gap between the living and the dead, but found only the silent, unyielding stone and her own heartache.

As the light continued to fade, she finally rose from her knees, feeling a deep exhaustion that came from both physical and emotional exertion. She placed the photograph gently on the grave, a token of her love and her pain. With a last, lingering look, she turned away, carrying with her a piece of the sadness and the love that would remain with her always. The graveyard, with its quiet and solemn presence, had become a place where she could both mourn and remember, where the echoes of her sorrow would forever be intertwined with her child's memory.

As for Blaze, he observed from a distance, giving her the space she needed, but his heart ached with every muffled sob and tear that fell from her eyes. The sight of her clutching the photograph and speaking softly to their child was a painful reminder of the depth of their loss. It was as if her sorrow was a physical force, palpable and heavy, that wrapped around both of them.

He wanted to reach out, to comfort her, but he was acutely aware that her pain was something she needed to confront on her own terms and it seemed they're not close enough to do so. He saw her kneeling there, her body trembling with each breath, and felt a profound sense of helplessness. He knew that no words or gestures could truly alleviate the depth of her grief, this was a journey she had to navigate in her own way. The image of her at the grave was etched deeply in his mind-a powerful, intimate moment that highlighted the depth of her love for their child and the immense void left by his absence. He could see the intensity of her emotions, the way her tears spoke of a love that was both fierce and unending, and it made him ache for her and for the family they had lost.

Sitting down on the bench near her child's graveyard, she felt an overwhelming wave of stillness wash over her. The bench, with its weathered wood and quiet solitude, provided a temporary sanctuary from the whirlwind of emotions that had consumed her. It was a place where she could pause, if only for a moment, and reflect on the magnitude of her loss.

"Tell me everything that has happened since I was in a coma", Savannah asked Blaze, seated next to her on the same bench, "How come my child no longer exists?" she said. "Everything" Blaze nodded and Savannah interrupted him as he was about to start, "How come my legs are still freshly injured when it's been an year since Oliver kidnapped me - "Did you forget to make an answer for this?"

Author's Note :

Hello y'all how are you? Hopefully good <3

Here's the update, a longer one because I wanted to express everything that's going on with Savannnah at the moment, how she lost her precious child, how she's feeling and coping with.

Hope you'll like it <3

Have a good day/night <3<3<3<3