Crushing Feelings

*yo yo, here with the new chapter (n I might hopefully release another one in the next few hours cuz I gotta catch up to my free day :)))) so yeah. Enjoy. Peace out and Deus vult*

Mark woke up in the Alchemy Commission once again, already tired of seeing the same place over and over. He sat up on the edge of the bed, staring at the half-grown arm, moving around the elbow while the rest of it was still growing. With a thought, he forced it to regenerate fully, the weird white liquid he had been trapped in gushing out in the same way the weird creature kept growing tentacles. Instantly, it molded into a hand, remaining the same weird lighter shade. 

"I should have seen it coming, considering how it can change shapes. Guess my bet worked," he said, speaking calmly. Without wasting too much time, he stood up, his ragged outfit still on him. He'd have to go back to Herta's Space Station to actually create himself a new suit and probably a few extras. He should have seen it coming from the first time, and yet the joy he felt back then overtook any possible thoughts. 

From outside, Bailu walked inside, pouting and as mad as one could be. She watched him, already up and about, but she just shook her hand and crossed her arms with a soft annoyed sound. 

"I should have known that I wouldn't be rid of you that fast. You're lucky I got over the scene you caused when you hatched from that cube thingy." 

Mark nodded, sighing before offering her a tiny smile and a soft head-pat. His voice was tired, yet his body was in decent shape already, the Abundance having healed him faster than expected. He was already used to doing things like that, but healing took longer. 

"At least I might be able to do this more often, should it be needed." 

Baliu looked up at him, trying to keep up the annoyed act, but his hand lingering on her head was enough to soothe her to a certain degree. She grabbed his hand with her smaller ones, turning it all over, staring at it before looking at the color. 

"It regenerated? I was told that it had happened, but seeing it happen again is something else entirely." 

He nodded, shaking his head slightly. With closed eyes, the inside of his own body came into view as he focused on the Abundance within. His right arm was pretty much brimming with it, while the rest of his body was still healing up. His bones had more cracks than he could count, and his muscle tissue was fixed enough for him to move around. The pain felt should be akin to torment, and yet nothing struck him. 

"Did you fill me up with painkillers?" he asked calmly, letting the tiny doctor keep checking his arm, her tiny fingers pressing all over, checking for a pulse and everything else possible. 

"Yes, I have. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure you'd have been in a state as bad or maybe worse than the first time you came here." 

He nodded, patting her once more before heading to the door. He didn't need to hear more from anyone and simply wished to collect his sword. 

"Sword... where's the huge one?" he asked, glancing around the room. It was nowhere to be found. 

"Oh, that huge thing? I've seen General Feixiao carrying it around, saying something like 'he must come see me to get it' or whatever." 

With a tired gaze, he shook his head, letting out a frustrated sigh before rubbing his closed eyes. 

"I'll go see where she is," he stated, already on his way out. Little was his surprise when he was met by everyone right outside, unable to even take a step before the three Generals present locked eyes with him, while Stelle, March, and Dan Heng were watching from the side, somewhat hesitant to speak up. Yanqing and Yunli were by their respective generals, watching. Mark simply nodded, then walked over to Feixiao to get his sword, who pulled it away from his reach. 

"Give me my sword," he requested, giving no shits that she was a General. 

"You should learn how to ask nicely, you know? Not only have you ruined my beautiful war axe, but you also hit me a little too hard in the stomach. That wasn't nice of you, alright?" 

He sighed, ready to just walk away and call it a day, too fed up with everyone's bullshit. 

"Young man," said General Huaiyan, moving aside to reveal fully a box as tall as Yanqing, which was near half Mark's own height. "I believe this belongs to you, the prize for winning." 

"You deserve it," said Jing Yuan, scanning Mark subtly. "To think you'd get so strong in such a short time. One cannot help but wonder what led to you reaching this level of combat, especially since the swordsmanship you use is familiar." 

Of course he referred to Jingliu's own combat style, the one he has made his own thanks to his training. With a scoff, Mark spoke up, finally letting out his own thoughts. 

"Ok, now listen here, everybody. I'm fucking fed up and as tired as a man can be. I've been through a lot, had my shit looked into without my permission, thus, my trust was betrayed. I owe no explanation to no one. I've done nothing but help left and right, and yet everyone can't resist the allure of knowing about my knowledge and its source." 

He took a deep breath, not even looking at the guilty members of the crew, and he couldn't care less at that point. He was tired, yet he held no malice in his words, just the wish to be understood. 

"I'm past the point of caring. I helped a lot. I've done as much as I could. It should be time I'm just allowed a moment to rest properly, don't you think so, Jing Yuan?" 

He walked closer to the man, staring at him with the coldest, lifeless gaze one could muster. He turned to Huaiyan, bowing slightly as a sign of respect before grabbing the huge box that contained the prize sword. He yanked it on his back, fixing it in place with ice, his improvised manner of doing things being rather comfortable. He then turned back to Feixiao, who simply looked at him with softer eyes, saying nothing as she still held on to the blade. 

"Hand it over," he said dryly, just extending his hand out to take it. With a sigh, she relented and offered it. 

"Not even going to come drinking with us? You've managed to defeat one of the Generals and won the Luminary Wardance, carving a name for yourself as both Mark and Five, and even the title mentioned by that owl puppet, the 'Saviour of the Dream'." 

He just took the other sword and put it on his back as well, fixing both in place with a sturdy layer of ice. 

"I don't care. I want to just go and be by myself for a while. I'm done with everyone, alright?" 

She sighed and grabbed him by the collar, hurt as he was. 

"Alright, listen here; you're coming to drink with us, and that's final. It's an order from the General of the Yaoqing, so you better listen if you don't want to get in trouble." 

He scoffed, staring back at her as if ready to dish out punches on the go, but his damaged body would get him winged in a few moves. 

"You're general on your own ship, not here. This is Jing Yuan's territory, so-" 

"Then," said Jing Yuan, making sure to be loud enough. "It's an order from the General of the Luofu. Understood?" 

Mark scoffed again, clenching his fists. 

"You know what? I might just stop obeying orders and throwing punches in all directions. I might just blow the fuck up for shits and giggles at this point." 

With a defiant expression, he just looked over to Yanqing and Yunli, who stared at him with both a little anger and mostly frustration. 

"General Huaiyan, hold me, or else I might teach him a lesson. I can surely defeat him in this state," said Yunli, slinging her sword over her shoulder, warning him silently. 

Mark was fed up. He reached out to the side, summoning his Sword of Will, the crimson blade burning softly with a gentle flame. In that very second, Yunli's eyes lit up, staring at the weapon with a curiosity and fascination that one could rarely witness. 

"I said I'm going off, alright?" he growled calmly, simply staring around at the others. His eyes didn't fail to notice Yunli's eager expression, her arms almost darting out to see the weapon closer, wishing to admire it. In the heat of the moment, he had forgotten about her talent to read swords. 

"That's a rather bold move, young man," said Huaiyan, running his fingers through his beard. Mark scoffed, and he once again looked over to Yunli. She seemed like a small kitten eager to learn about the world. 

With a sigh, Mark lowered the weapon, showing it to the girl, who took the chance at once. 

"This sword is something I've never seen before," she mused softly, reaching out to touch it, but the heat stopped her at once. It wasn't powerful, yet it was enough to scare her a bit. Mark dimmed the flames just enough for them to be like a gentle caress, the feeling reminiscent of someone. 

"Go on, you can touch it now," he sighed dryly, yet his actions were a stark contrast to the words and attitude shown. 

Her hand ran along the blade, looking at it with sparkling, eager eyes. Mark just watched her, awaiting the judgment. 

"Your blade is a marvel. What even happened with you to be so different from it?" 

He said nothing, just letting her read more into it and try to get a grasp in his mind. Unlike other weapons, his was formed from his own will, mixed in with that of another. 

"It's an honest sword that speaks of your wish to vanquish foes that threaten you and the people you care for," she paused for a moment, pursing her lips as something came up, but it took her a few moments to put her thoughts into words. "It's strange, but it feels like someone put all their being into this sword. It's almost like two people became one." 

The words touched a note he didn't even know existed in his heart—the slight tremble in his being felt, a hint of fear and pain on his face. He took a step back, reminded of the scene once more. She had become one with him, the sign on his shoulder a good reminder. She did promise to always be by his side. 

Yunli kept studying the weapon, focusing more and more on the details. 

"The blade is perfectly sharpened, perhaps the sharpest blade I've seen, and yet you seem to have used it before. It's a strange sight, but it's like your blade and you are exactly the same, yet there's some other interference in it." 

He tried to keep it together, but more and more thoughts came to him—memories of the woman he knew turning into a red flame, becoming one with his Will, leaving her mark in it. It was a conflicting sight, and the emotions messed up with his current state. No amount of brushing it off could get rid of it. 

"It's just a sword, that's all," he said bluntly, but his expression was slowly crumbling. 

"A sword, but it's a story in itself, and it speaks a lot about you. Perhaps you're going through something now, but at the root, you have strong values you stand for and do your best to protect." 

He shook his head, saying nothing more, just staring at the blade himself. He could see Himeko in the soft fire, and it only stung more. What if he could have saved her one way or another? He chose that path willingly, and yet it was slowly crushing him. 

"I... I... Fuck!" 

In that very moment, he dashed away, leaping high into the sky and making himself unseen, trying to hold it together. She was gone because of him and now remained nothing but his own tool made for slaying. It was a weapon, and she willingly became one with it. The caring woman she was, now nothing but an object. He couldn't handle it. 

Without even looking back, he was gone, leaving behind the partially stunned group. Yunli looked over to the others, looking a little dejected. 

"Did I say something wrong? It's what I saw in the sword." 

Jing Yuan shook his head, speaking calmly. 

"Mark seems to be a rather enigmatic individual, that much we know. Even his friends from the Astral Express seem to have a bit of a complicated situation with him, am I right?" he asked, looking their way. Stelle nodded, letting out a soft, reluctant breath. 

"It's pretty difficult. We're at fault, since we looked through his phone without permission while he was stuck in that cube. Sure, we did find some strange things, but... we understand why he's upset." 

Feixiao simply shook her head, speaking in her casual tone, despite the tiny conflicted hint in her eyes. 

"Let's just go for a drink. After all, he made it pretty clear he doesn't want to come. I guess he just needs his moment." 

Huaiyan let out a tired sigh, shaking his head slightly. 

"I'm sure the young man made it known that he wants peace. What's with you youngsters always pushing each other around?" 

Feixiao chuckled, putting her hands on her hips firmly, letting her hair dangle in the soft breeze. 

"Let's just say that I've seen what he's capable of during battle. I'm not good at all this emotional nonsense, but I do know that when you're threading between life and death, you show your true colors." 

Huaiyan shook his head, lowering his head slightly as Jing Yuan began walking away, ready for the little celebration. Of course, they were going to prepare for Mark's arrival, should he decide to show up in the end, yet the young man's reaction was a little volatile.