How Much Do I Have to Give You to Call Me Uncle?

*Cough, cough, cough!* In the next moment, Yu Siyan coughed as if he was about to die.

After catching Qiao Xi's attention, he swiftly pulled out a gold card.

"There's 1.5 million in here."

With that, he slipped it into Qiao Xi's pocket and leaned in close, just enough for her to kiss him.

Qiao Xi moved closer.

"Kid, trying to launder your dad's stolen money through me? Dream on!"

A sinister voice sounded, and then, with a swift motion, the card was swiped from his pocket!

Yu Siyan jumped up, his face turning beet red!

Passing photographers: ???

Guests sneaking a peek: ???

[What are you doing?!]

[She swiped Siyan's card! She swiped Siyan's card!]

[Turns out a person can die in two seconds. Goodbye, world.]

[I've gone mad! The group chat is exploding! Qiao Xi, this grudge will never be forgiven!!]

[Even if you hate her, you have to admit she did what you've always wanted but never dared to do (bows in respect).]

[I survived the face masks, the wall gecko, and the willow tree pull, but this card-swiping trick finally broke me! I declare, from today on, you are the woman I love second only to my mom!]

[Never thought my love for Siyan would wane because I fell for someone even crazier.]

"Folks!" Qiao Xi stood on the field ridge, raising her arm high. "I'm back! Quickly form teams and get to work! Let's welcome the autumn harvest and achieve communism!"

"This time, our enemy is—"

She turned, pointing at the program team's small house.

Everyone's eyes lit up as they shouted, "The! Program! Team!"

Program team: !!!

On the mountaintop.

In the villa, a dead silence prevailed.

The Lu family sat there, their hair a mess, just recovering from a hangover.

Lu Shibang trembled as he asked, "I...I didn't make too much of a scene last night, right?"

A mirror was handed over.

Lu Shaoyan smiled, "See for yourself."

Lu Shibang's eyes shifted, and the next second he screamed!

"Who the hell is this?!"

The person in the mirror had a Doraemon face, an Elsa watch on his hand, and his nostrils were enlarged with eyeliner! The fiery red lips were vaguely remembered as Liao Xinrou's handiwork!

He turned to see the equally ridiculous Liao Xinrou.

Suddenly, the entire Lu family burst into tears.

"Ah—daughter—We don't recognize you anymore—"

While they were crying, Old Sun knocked on the door with a group of villagers.

"Knock, knock!"

"Old Lu, there were wolves howling on the mountain last night. Did you hear it? And someone set off firecrackers at midnight! This village is getting weirder. Someone threw a big stone into the lake and even scrubbed a toilet brush at my door! I invited a Taoist master to take a look. How about letting him come in and drive away the evil spirits for you too?"

The whole family: ...

Liao Xinrou jumped up and slapped Lu Shibang's head, "I told you not to howl! You insisted on going to the roof to howl!"

"It was an irresistible urge!" Lu Shibang mumbled.

At the door, Old Sun was puzzled, "Old Lu? Are you still alive?"

Click.

The door opened, and Liao Xinrou greeted him with a smile, "Oh, Bai Bai was just singing last night! Hope we didn't disturb you?"

Lu Bai Bai: ?

Old Sun suddenly understood, "No, no! At first, I wondered which family's piglet got loose! Then I thought, maybe they're spanking their kid? Haha, Bai Bai has a performance coming up, right? Let her practice more, practice more!"

After he left, the Lu family had an urgent meeting.

They decided to send Lu Shaoyan and Lu Bai Bai, who still had a shred of dignity, down the mountain to deliver some things.

When Lu Shaoyan picked up Bai Bai, Liao Xinrou cried from behind, "Please say good things about us! Tell Qiao Xi we're normal when we're normal! We love her!"

She raised her arms, making a big heart shape.

Lu Shaoyan: ...

He was definitely leaving this family one day!

Thankfully, thankfully his sister was normal! Judging by her behavior yesterday, she just had a bigger appetite. He could still afford to feed her.

From now on, it would just be him and Xi Xi against the world.

He had heard this program crew was tough on people. He hadn't had a chance to watch the show yet and didn't know if Xi Xi had been bullied...

"Uncle, Aunt is over there!"

Bai Bai suddenly popped her head out from his back, pointing to the field ridge.

The setting sun cast a beautiful glow.

Qiao Xi stood in the field, slender and delicate.

Lu Shaoyan quickened his pace.

"Are you done yet?! You dare to take a breath?!"

A thunderous roar rang out!

Lu Shaoyan: ?

"Pfft—"

Qiao Xi spat out the leaf in her mouth and grabbed Guo Yang's head, shoving it into the pit on the ground!

"Was it you who provoked me? Dared to call me useless and refuse to recognize me as the team leader? Insisted on competing in farming? Fine, a bet is a bet, and I'll fulfill your simple wish to be a seed!"

Lu Shaoyan: ??

Others pleaded, "Sister Xi! He knows he was wrong! Please don't bury him for too many hours! Standing here all night will make him numb!"

Guo Yang shouted, "Don't beg her! She only knows how to use violence!"

Qiao Xi smiled, "Did you hear that? He has backbone. We agreed on one night. Not one hour, one minute, or one second less."

Lu Shaoyan: !!!

Just then, Yu Siyan passed by, frowning and asking, "Aren't you going over?"

"Oh." The young master nodded and walked over, handing Qiao Xi a watering can, eyes curved in a smile, "Xi Xi, seeds need watering. You forgot to water them."

Lu Shaoyan: !!!!!

After this episode, when Qiao Xi returned, everyone saw her off, bowing and shouting, "Leader—take care!"

Even Lu Shaoyan received some respect.

In the courtyard.

Lu Shaoyan watched Qiao Xi eating heartily, remaining silent.

After a long while, he said, "Ahem, my parents have something they want me to tell you…"

"Go ahead!"

Qiao Xi smiled brightly.

Lu Shaoyan was drenched in sweat.

On the other side, Yu Siyan and Lu Bai Bai's gazes were clashing, staring each other down.

"Tell me, how much do I have to give you to stop calling me 'Uncle Hanged.'"

Lu Bai Bai held out a hand and gestured five.

Yu Siyan reached out, and Cheng Dong, hanging upside down from a tree, handed him five candies.

He then gave them to Lu Bai Bai.

The deal was done.

Then, Yu Siyan casually asked, "Tell me, how much more do I have to give you to call me uncle-in-law?"