Nightmare

Royce pov

I jerked up from sleep with sweat running down my face,I had just had a nightmare,That same nightmare that I've been having for the past 6 years.I checked the time and saw that it's just a minute past one in the mid night,Yes it's always by this time I wake up and never fall asleep again till morning.

I checked my bedside table and stared a picture, I smiled and kissed the photo,

"If only you were alive, if only you were close to me I miss you so much I muttered with tears rolling down my eyes.

I stared at the picture for a while and smiled a sad smile.

I got up from bed with a sigh and went downstairs to get water,It was so quiet everyone must be sleeping except me, I guess this is what I deserve for what I did to her.

If only I didn't hurt her so bad she would have been here with me. She's in her grave because of me so I guess I deserve it.

After drinking water I went back to my room since I couldn't sleep I picked up my tobacco and started smoking while staring outside my window until I heard my door open,knowing who would check up on me by this time I didn't turn I just continued smoking.

"you are awake" I heard her say,i didn't reply but just kept my gaze outside my window,she sighed softly and sat on my bed.

When will this stop???, When will you stop having the same nightmare??she asked. Maybe it's because you have not forgiven yourself or stop thinking it was your fault,you didn't kill her Royce someone else did, Why do you keep blaming yourself.

she was my bestfriend remember and I'm still trying to move on why can't you??

I know Camilla but I can't help but feel it was my fault,If only I didn't make her leave my side that day she would have still be alive now I finally said after a brief silence.

Yeah Camila is my twin sister only her know what happened to me that's giving me the sleepless nights and she's very close to me.

she's a popular model while I'm a very popular artist known all over the world.

"why don't you see a therapist who knows it might work out Royce"

she got up from the bed and stood beside me by the window and held my hand, she will never come back Royce no matter what you do or say she'll never come back.You don't need to blame yourself Royce.

Look at yourself,you don't eat well,you don't sleep well this is not the Royce I used to know who was so lively.

Now you don't smile or even have friends except their Nick and the others you are slowly turning into an introvert,What I'm I saying you are already an introvert Camilla said with a pained voice.You hardly stare at another girl or let any girl close to you,Why don't you find someone that will help you to move on, it's been 6 years now.

I've heard you camilla but I swear I'm trying to move on but I dont know why I feel like she's watching me or something.

you better try harder mom and dad are seriously worried, everyone is worried please with that she stormed out of the room.

I droped the tobacco and went back to the bed and stared at the ceiling, The memories of I and her started rushing in and I couldn't help but weep,I closed my eyes and tried to sleep at least or wait for morning.