Chapter 12 -Too sweet

Yavannah Constantine

"Just sign here, Miss Constantine" Joseph- Adonis secretary suggested indicating towards the empty space at the bottom left corner of the page.

My fingers shook terribly as I grabbed the ball point pen, It's metal surface attempting to slip from my sweaty grasp.

As much as Adonis was right, I wasn't sure I was good enough to have this kind of opportunity. I didn't deserve it. A second voice in my head goaded me to drop the pen and run.

Run far away from this decision, away from making any choices.

I wanted to, truly. I just couldn't bring myself to sign the papers.

"Come with me Anna" Yaskier whispered from beside me. I turned to look at him despite not wanting to, He knew of my intent to back out without even the use of words.

"But the sig-" Joseph tried to object but was cut short by an assertive and dominating voice.

"Let them go" Adonis ordered.

I didn't dare look at him. I was a coward. I'm sure he thought so too.

Yaskier grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet before walking towards the door. I followed him closely trying to blink away the tears. I really needed to do a handstand.

We walked out the door and through my blurry vision, I could feel the eyes of many on us as we walked through the passage way of this enormous building. Fifteen floors of steel, concrete and tempered glass. Numerous factions that had Numerous responsibilities.

Even more reasons why I wasn't good enough.

We stopped right infront of a door, his hand falling from mine as he fumbled with its handle. The door gave way a few seconds after his fumbling revealing a rooftop.

Yaskier walked forward leaving me to follow suit.

In the broad light of day, the view from the roof was treetops as the birds knew them, congregating with fluttering leaves upon wide avenues.

I grabbed the handle of the safety bars, the wind frizzing through my hair. From so high above, the cars looked like the Lego pieces Yaskier and I used to fight over when we were little. The people, even smaller.

"What Is it Anna" Yaskier asked softly, his voice melting like ice. Only, the ice seemed to be melting in my eyes as no matter how hard I tried , the tears just weren't going back. The more he was concerned the more I felt horrible.

"I'm fine" I replied, cursing mentally at the trembling octave of my voice.

He scoffed before turning his back to me.

"You can cry , I'm not looking" He stated, folding his arms behind his back.

I wouldn't let the tears fall. I had fought for 18 years against them, I wouldn't let them win.

"I'm not crying, You red headed mop" I breathed out sarcastically, making him turn to me.

I knew he had so much to say but he kept it inside. I felt a semblance of guilt.

"Then talk to me Anna" He implored, grabbing at my shoulder.

I hesitated for a few seconds, wondering how to come up with what to explain.

"I'm scared" I admitted finally, Watching as a hint of understanding flashed through his eyes." I don't deserve the opportunity Adonis is handing over to me".

"I'm not good enough" I muttered under my breath.

He opened his mouth to reply but faltered, Turning towards the sky to let out an exasperated sigh.

"You can't let your fear of failure over shadow your talent" He warned.

I knew , he had said this so many times as we grew up. Even when I decided on abandoning college for fear of not being accepted into it. I just couldn't help it.

Understanding bled into his voice "You're the strongest and the most talented person I know Anna".

"It might not look like it but sometimes I get scared too"

My head whipped to his solemn face.

Yaskier? Scared?.

It wasn't far fetched but it was hard to believe.

" I was scared when I lost my job in high school and you had to work two jobs for both of us, I felt that you would get tired of me being a burden and eventually want to leave"

I opened my mouth to dissuade him but he continued, cutting me off before I could start.

"Despite feeling like a burden, I never once treated you with hostility or pushed you away, instead I made it my goal to make things easier for you".

"I'm sorry". I whispered.

He hummed in reply, ruffling my hair. "I've heard you sing enough to know that you are exactly what we are looking for. If not more".

I was scared of dissapointment, rejection and failure. Sure enough, I was always going to be scared but I needed to learn how to shut out the fear and prioritize my life first. And it seemed signing that contract was the first step to getting there.

"okay" I decided."Let's go back".

A proud smile adorned Yaskier's features.He reached out, ruffling my hair again."That's my baby sister".

I scowled at him before swatting his hand away, attempting to arrange my hair.

The walk back to Adonis office was brisk and soon enough I found myself infront of his wide mahogany door.

"I'd have to leave you here, duty calls. " Yaskier stated before sending me a thumbs up. A wide grin on his face.

I giggled in return, Watching as he turned away towards his office. A brunette clad in red approached him and they began to converse.

I knocked hesitantly on the door, sliding my palms against my dress as I awaited his command.

"Come in".

I pushed the door open, Amethyst green eyes locking unto mine immediately. My mouth dried up like the wide expanse of the Sahara dessert at the immediate suprise.

I stepped into the office, allowing the doors to slam shut firmly behind me before approaching Adonis. His eyes never left mine even when I scanned across the room for Joseph so we could continue the signing process.

"He's not here". Adonis muttered, indicating towards the pile of papers spread out on his desk."He has other things to do".

"I'm sorry, Mr Vivaldi" I gulped in shame, resorting to apologizing. " I didn't mean to come off as ungrateful and overdramatic".

"That's alright, Yavannah " He waved me off."You're too sweet for me to think of such".

My jaw slacked and I almost forgot to pick it up.

He just called me sweet.

He chuckled endearingly at my reddened cheeks. "Would you be ready to sign the contract".

I didn't bother to hesitate this time.

"Let's begin".