If you look into the abyss, it'll come and tease you - II

"Nice choice there."

A voice sounded very close to his ears, as a young woman was now standing beside him, leaning very close to his face.

"Whoa!" Startled by the sudden appearance, Ren's senses sharpened involuntarily and he almost stumbled, but managed to regain his composure.

'T-that was close! I almost punched this girl on instinct right now. Thank god my reflexes are a lot slower here…'

"U-um, sorry, are you the one selling these flowers?"

Ren asked while feeling a little relieved inside.

"Haha! That's right, this is my store. Sorry for scaring you just now. I mean, I didn't expect you to jump away, but that was pretty funny, to be honest."

The woman explained, holding back a few chuckles.

"It's okay. I'm just a little jumpy today, that's all."

He looked at the person in front of him: a young woman with pale skin and black hair tied loosely in a bun, with similarly dark eyes hidden behind her glasses. It was hard to discern the curves behind her bland apron covering what looked like regular blue jeans and a beige shirt, and Ren didn't want to come off as rude by ogling the girl too.

Unfortunately for him, however, his new body wasn't as adept at shrugging it off, so he ended up staring a little longer than initially intended.

'She's pretty…'

Taking his eyes in a different direction with a light blush, which elicited a smirk from the young shop owner, Ren cleared his throat and asked, "I was thinking of buying these two roses as a gift. How much would that be?"

His words seemed to draw her attention to the pair of flowers he was holding, and she paused for a moment before answering with a teasing smile, "Wow, I didn't think people your age still gifted flowers to each other. Who's the lucky lady?"

"Pardon?"

Ren raised his eyebrows in confusion. He didn't immediately understand what she was talking about.

"The receiver, of course! Is it your girlfriend? Or maybe a crush? Hmm, but if it's the former, wouldn't it be better to choose something more romantic like a red tulip or rose, or maybe you're looking for… something spicy?"

At her words, Ren's blush deepened slightly as he waved his hand in denial, a few drops of cold sweat forming on his forehead in the meanwhile. While he did spend a lot of time with girls a lot younger than him in the past, he wasn't a lolicon, at least as far as he knew.

"No, it's not like that."

"Hmm, really~" The lady narrowed her eyes suspiciously, before continuing, "Well, normally it would be around a thousand yen for them, but I'll be nice and make it just eight-hundred if you tell me who is it that you're going to give them to~"

Feeling the brunt of her gaze on him, he quickly explained, "It's really not what you're thinking. These two mean innocence and happiness, right? I was thinking of giving them to a little girl I know. She cried and was pretty sad yesterday, and I thought this would cheer her up a little."

Hearing his explanation, her eyebrows rose in surprise at the mention of the flower's meaning, but she smiled after learning who he intended to give them.

"Oh, I didn't expect you to know about their meaning. Still, that is very kind of you. I'm sure she would love them."

Apparently coming to a decision in her mind, she crossed her arms and continued while adjusting her glasses.

"I'll tell you what, since it's for a noble cause, you can take them for free this time. Think of it as a gift from me as well."

"But that would be unfair to you, miss. I can't simply take for free something that others would pay for, especially since you make a living out of this."

The idea of getting for free something he had no problems paying for didn't sit well with Ren. He had more than enough to pay for them as well, since he found his wallet earlier.

The lady didn't seem to agree with him, however, and just shook her head. A nice fragrance wafted from her through the breeze, but he made an effort to ignore it.

"It's okay. I make more than enough money to live comfortably already, so there's no problem doing something nice, even if it's at a loss. Just be a nice kid and accept the deal, boy."

Ren was about to refute her words, but hearing her calling him a kid annoyed him. He was a valedictorian graduate, a teacher, and a renowned professional in his craft, not to mention the various other areas he was skilled at.

"I'm no kid, miss. And besides, you don't exactly look like an auntie either. I even thought you were the owner's daughter initially. We're both adults here, so it's only proper for me to pay."

To his words, she stood quiet for a moment, before bursting out laughing, "Hahaha! I can't believe you're saying this with a straight face while wearing a high school uniform! I really can't, haha~"

Now realizing his mistake, Ren was beginning to regret ever stopping by here. Seeing her almost wheezing only added salt to his injuries.

'Fuck, I forgot that now I'm supposed to be a random high schooler that didn't do anything with his life yet. This is so embarrassing…'

He gritted his teeth as a blush stretched all the way to his ears, looking for an opportunity to escape this situation.

Meanwhile, the woman continued laughing at his expense for a few moments, until a voice sounded from the neighboring store.

"Stop teasing the kid already, Yumi-chan! I bet he's beet-red by now. This is why you can't find a boyfriend even after so long."

It sounded like a middle-aged woman's voice. The lot right beside the flower shop was an antique store, with a various assortment of both weird trinkets and oddities, as well as books and other interesting articles.

Ren watched as the words spoken by her neighbor made her stop laughing, clicking her in annoyance. He was relieved nonetheless, anyway.

"Tch, just let me have fun for once, old hag! Stick to your newspaper or whatever…"

"Hey, don't call me that! That's so rude! I'm still in my prime here!"

"Yeah, sure!"

After the quick banter, the flower shop owner looked once again at Ren's face, and her annoyed look vanished as she started to laugh even more. 

"Pfft, you're actually beet-red, HaHaHa! This is the funniest shit I've seen the whole week! Oh my god, I'm dying~ Haha!"

Becoming the woman's target another time, Ren fell into despair once more, though he was getting annoyed himself by now. If she wasn't before, she was definitely wheezing now, her body shaking uncontrollably along with her laughing. He didn't find it as funny, however.

'I get that she's enjoying herself at my expense and all, but is there really a need to laugh this much? Does this rude woman not get any entertainment in her life?'

By the time he was considering just taking the chance and leaving, 'Yumi-chan' appeared to finally get herself under control, and she asked him while wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes.

"Sorry, sorry. It was just so funny to me. I've never seen something like that before, kid."

Hearing the word 'kid' once more, a vein popped on Ren's forehead as he glared lightly at her, though truthfully, it wasn't very menacing considering his embarrassed look and the blush on his face.

"Okay, I get it. 'Not-a-kid'-kun, hehe~"

"Anyway, thanks for the compliment, but I am indeed the one and only owner of this humble shop. Though it's nice to know you think I'm cute, beautiful, and young on top of that."

'I don't think I said that much… though I probably shouldn't say that…'

Millennia of inherited wisdom helped Ren make the right decision here, else he would probably never hear the end of it.

"As for the flowers, just take them. I don't have the heart to ask for money getting such a nice… surprise from you, pfft~"

"*Sigh*... Fine. I'll carry them on the way, so there's no need for a vase or a plastic bag."

He looked at his watch; Thankfully, not much time had passed, and he would still arrive pretty early at this pace.

"That won't do. Girls care about the little things, y' know? Here, give them to me, I have just the right thing."

Ren glanced at the hand extended to him for a brief moment. While it looked soft and delicate, he noticed a few calluses that hinted at what kind of activity they normally underwent.

After he handed her the flowers, she looked at his face and asked, "I'm Yumiko. What's your name?"

He paused for a moment, as if contemplating his answer. While part of him still wanted to say something else, he dismissed it and responded: "Ren. Ashikawa Ren."

"Ren-kun, huh? It's a nice name, fits you well. Wait here, okay? I'll be right back."

She didn't mind the delay, and simply smiled before going inside, the bun on the back of her head bouncing up and down as a faint floral scent lingered in the air, somehow distinguishable even amidst the colorful assortment on display.

'She's using the first name from the get-go…'

Ren was having it hard trying to keep up with this woman's pace, but her words after hearing his name made him feel a little happy. He was sure it was only by a little, of course.

He looked at the plaque near him, a little absentminded, "Hanami Flower Shop…"

A few moments later, she came back bringing the same duo of roses, though now they were tied together with a lace and a small piece of paper was attached, with some beautifully handwritten cursive text. She held them to him with a smile.

"Here you go. I took the chance and wrote a nice message to cheer her up, so… Ren-kun?"

Seeing that he was lost in thought, Yumiko sensed an opportunity much like a lion finds its prey: an innocent white rabbit, 'I know I shouldn't annoy him so much, but this is just too easy. There's just something about this kid that makes him so teasable, hehe~'

"Phew~"

Ren was lost in thought, simply staring into empty space, when suddenly, he felt a hot breath on his ear.

"Hiih-"

He suddenly felt his skin crawl all over as his hair stood on end, a shiver traveling through his spine. He jumped back, holding his right ear in complete alert, searching for the sudden threat.

Once he realized what had just transpired, however, an ever deeper blush took over his face, but his mind was almost thrown into disarray after being caught off guard, this time even more completely. To top it off, as if finally catching up with the latest 'exciting' experience, he suddenly pulled his hips back and closed his legs a little.

'Fucking teenager hormones. Seriously? Of all things, a breath was enough?!'

Ren was exasperated at his lack of control over his new body and whatever seemed to be going on with it. He gritted his teeth and took a few deep breaths to try and calm things down.

Thankfully or not, the attacker didn't seem to notice his predicament, since she was too busy laughing her ass off instead.

"Pfft, Hahahaha! You said 'Hiih!'! I can't, I'll die from laughing! Hahahaha…"

"Oh, I'm very glad to be of use as M'lady's entertainment, really."

Ren spat venomously.

"I'm not finding it that funny over here. Have you hit your head somewhere at some point? Should I call the hospital?"

"Oh, he snapped."

Noticing he was angered, she suddenly stopped laughing, much to his confusion. Feeling a little guilty, she tried to explain herself, but trailed off mid sentence.

"Hehe, don't be that angry, okay? You seemed to have had a lot on your mind since earlier, so I thought this would cheer you up and… well… shit, I think it did, huh?"

Yumiko seemed to finally notice the weird change in his posture, but this time, surprisingly, she blushed and stuttered while averting her eyes, "U-um, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to go this far."

Ren didn't want to say anything either, since it would just make it more awkward, so he just shrugged and took the flowers, without even looking at the message she'd written for him. He had planned to get to school early, and there was no need to dally any longer after what he just went through.

"It's okay, 'Yumi-chan'. It was definitely NOT a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

He said with a voice laden in sarcasm, paused for a moment, and bowed deeply.

"I should go now. But once again, thank you for the flowers. I believe my friend will like them a lot. Then, if you'll excuse me."

He then started walking again, resuming his previous route, but it wasn't long before she called him again.

"Hey! There's nothing interesting going on around here for most of the time, so stop by when you feel like it and I'll serve you some tea. I feel kinda bad, so I'll make it up to you later, okay?"

"... Sure, if I have the time."

As he left, Yumiko felt guilty for going too far earlier, embarrassing him until he got angry. After a few moments, she heaved down a sigh, 'Why do I always mess things up?'

"I told you to stop, but you didn't listen. You reap what you sow."

The owner of the antique store commented, having exited her shop at some point to watch the show.

"I know, it was my fault… Do you think he will come again?"

She asked meekly.

"I bet he will. The boy was just embarrassed, from what I saw. It's not like he hates you after just meeting for the first time right? But you should work on that bad habit of yours, else I really think you'll still be alone by the time I die of old age, hehe…"

"Okay, now that's a bit too much. Well, since you're already a bag of old bones, then it means that my time will come soon, huh."

While her words cheered Yumiko up somewhat, she couldn't really ignore her comments about her single status.

"Oh my, how rude. I was 10 times better than you in my twenties."

"Sure, granny, here we go again…"

[...]

Now having resumed his path, Ren was a bit regretful of his earlier actions.

"I feel bad to have dismissed her like that. She seemed nice, if we ignore the teasing."

'It was simply too embarrassing. But it's not like me to lose so much composure so quickly.'

Apart from everything else, he felt a little conflicted. He hadn't acted much like himself since coming here, being either too cautious and observant, or too easily riled up.

"Haah… seriously, it's like I'm really a hot-headed teen all over again…"

As he continued walking, Ren calmed himself down. He would be meeting with little Akane to deliver the new flowers, and would bolt straight to Karakura High School. 

He remembered that she had written a message to go along with the flowers, but didn't want to look at it right now, letting out a tired sigh instead.

"If I keep getting into these sorts of situations, it'll be the end of me… A death by embarrassment..."

—

Extra Titles: ("Being around little girls doesn't make one a lolicon… I hope.", "Ren's the kind of gift that just keeps on giving.", "Little Ren jr. sensed a disturbance in the force.", "Ren gets teased into oblivion.", "I like my women a little fucked up in the head.", "Flaring hormones.", "Poor granny, having to deal with these rude younglings.", "Sometimes little actions bring great waves.").