the memories of the past [July 29th, 2020]

Thinking back - how would past me look at the me of today?

Would you hate me for leaving port credit, would you hate me for going into broadcasting, would you hate me for being lgbq+, would you hate me for never confessing to [boy] that you love him, would you hate me for no longer keeping in contact with the people from that school?

Would you love how i've changed, would you love how i look, would you love that your name is forever part of a camp, would you love owning one of the top gaming systems of 2020, would you love how ive changed careers?

Would you feel distant with me, would you feel confused as how ive changed, would you regret what you've done, would you cry yourself to sleep every night, would you scream at me, would you tell me that "we can't be the same people", would you scream out the names of people you hate, would you tell me that i turned my back on sailing, would you tell me that i turned my back on everyone?

Would I yell at you and tell you that I wish I wasn't such a failure, would I try to get it through your thick mind that you need to do all your work, would i scream and shout begging you to change - not become the me of today, would I warn you of your future, would I beg you to have long conversations with your closest friends, would I beg you to pay more attention, would I cry in your arms asking you to save [his] life?

Would we be the same? Would we be different? Would we accept it?