Chapter 5: Setting the stage part1

Barty, Barty, Barty, old buddy, old chum!" Sirius exclaimed with fake joviality, as he casually broke into his office, ignoring his secretaries' loud protests.

Honestly, the woman works for Barty Crouch Sr, she should be thankful Sirius was here to inject some sort of excitement - in her, no doubt dull and mindless, parchment work filled life.

The office suited the old man, even if it wasn't as decorated as his old DMLE office had been, not that Sirius had been there often during his brief stint as an Auror, (For some reason Barty Crouch hadn't called on Sirius for bodyguard duty, ever, back in the day.) It was very drab, very gray. Plenty of old people stuffy stuff around, things to make one look important that had no real use - mixed with things with real use that no one important would ever use. Mostly because it was too practical and not traditional enough, which really made one wonder why they bothered to display it in their office. People really loved their window dressing in the Ministry and the Ancient families, especially things they'd never actually touch or understand, but it was expensive so they had to have it. Not that the two, (Ministry and the Noble families) were really that far apart. You couldn't shoot off a tickling spell without hitting someone from an ancient family in the Ministry, even if it's only that second cousin stuck in the records department where he wouldn't hump the goats anymore.

Presumably. There is a spell for turning an inanimate object to a goat after all. And the records department is pretty deep and dark, with few visitors…

The fact so many Ancient and Noble families had so many relatives at the Ministry was an achievement in itself really, with how many families had died out over the centuries. Sirius was pretty sure he could call whoever he next met while walking down the halls, cousin, and have at least a thirty-forty percent chance it would be right.

His marriage prospects, were he to go look for them, likely held at least a third of the prospects that were way too closely related to him. The magical world was basically Alabama, with better dental care and people wearing robes instead of a tank top.

Barty Crouch Sr, was, perhaps, Sirius thought, displeased at his presence, it was hard for him to tell, because Barty's face always looked like that anyway. The severe looking man sat ramrod straight behind his desk, robes perfectly pressed, lips turned downwards on his wrinkled grayish face, underneath his (likely measured everyday) perfect Hitler mustache. "Mister Black, I don't believe you have an appointment." Barty said icily, his hard eyes actually showing some honest to Merlin emotion, sure it was hatred, but Sirius just lost twenty galleons because of that, turned out Barty was human after all. Drats.

He should know better than to bet Cissy, really. But he'd been sure Barty didn't have feelings. Considering what he'd done to his son, it really wasn't a risky bet, he'd thought. Maybe hatred was his go to, then?

Sirius grinned irreverently as he snapped his fingers in the air mockingly, before pointing at the grouchy old man, voice chiding as he corrected him. "Ah, ah, one must always use the proper titles when addressing another wizard of higher stature, correct?" Not that Sirius would follow such bull in his meetings, that's not why he was here either, but it would amuse him to make Barty do so.

Because now that he'd pointed it out, the man was probably incapable of not following proper customs.

Crouch was from a notable family himself, but notably not as storied and ancient as the Black's.

Traditions, what was it but a set of silly rules that allowed someone unscrupulous that disregarded them - to know exactly how to weave a web around those hidebound fools. Sirius could appreciate some traditions, he was a Black after all. But he'd never allow them to set his behavior or actions against necessity or the greater good.

Sirius continued to grin as Barty Crouch, ground his teeth together, his pedantic worldview warring with his intense dislike of Sirius himself no doubt. Even if Sirius being found innocent hadn't been another kick to the nuts of Barty's career - he'd likely hate Sirius anyway, just based on his ability to actually enjoy life.

Or the way he made a mockery out of him, his way of life and everything he did and stood for. That could play a part, too. And the constant mocking. That probably had an effect. Hitting on his wife that one time back when he was a new Auror… Probably added to it.

To be fair, Barty was really easy to wind up.

"What is the purpose of your… " The man grimaced even more severely for a moment, "Visit… Lord Black." Barty finished, his distaste obvious to Sirius. Even if his face remained mostly impassive and his posture was corpse stiff and unmoving.

James had once theorized the man was an inferi that just groomed himself well enough to pass as a human. Lily had smacked him for it, but hadn't been able to hide her giggles.

Sirius had once gotten a two day suspension for spelling that theory onto every bathroom wall in the DMLE. It probably would have been longer, but graffiti as a rule, had a two day suspension as the highest available punishment (for purebloods). And Barty did follow the rules as a core tenet of his existence.

Except the no unforgivables one or the no breaking people out of jail one, apparently those rules are more optional?

Sirius flopped into a chair in front of Barty's desk, his grin widening as Barty's glare intensified in chilliness, brrr. "Barty, I can call you, Barty, right?" Sirius said, rushing right past the opening of the tosser's mouth, where he was no doubt rushing to say something ridiculous like, certainly not, or, you may address me as Director Crouch. Yeah right, "I need a favor, mate."

Look at that, his eloquence had rendered the man speechless, with his literal jaw dropped and everything, he even had an eye twitch. "Are you having a stroke? Is your nurse around? You old folks got one of those, right? To help you get around, and such?" Sirius blithely continued to piss the man off. In some ways, it's how Barty Crouch Sr expected him to act, so he was almost obliged to entertain himself thusly, and in others, it was much easier to deal with the man when he was knocked straight out of his comfort zone.

Considering that the only times in his life that Barty Crouch Sr would ever get a hard on about something - was for the rules, and that he probably measured said hard ons to make sure they were a lawfully and societally approved erection to boot - It would be of no benefit to Sirius to hold a calm and logical discussion based only on facts. He needed to piss Barty off, so he'd use something else other than ice cold logic for once.

Just as he saw fury building up in Crouch's face, Sirius interrupted again, the director of International Cooperation didn't even seem to notice that his nails dug into his desk as Sirius talked over his attempt to speak, "You see, mate, we really are just the same you and I." Sirius said - with a butter won't melt in my mouth kind of smile, "We're forces for stability and order, people that understand that the Ministry must be a stable and unwavering institution, or we lose the ability to properly guide the British people."

Sirius propensity for bullshit truly was his number two most useful attribute, number one being his suave charm and good looks, of course.

Sirius finally let silence reign long enough for Crouch to get a word in, and the man immediately did so, face reddening, voice harsh, "Stability? Lord Black, I fail to see how you are an advocate of that! Order? Don't make me laugh!"

A funny thing to say, Sirius almost thought the man had actually told a joke. Because everyone knew Barty didn't laugh.

Sirius laughed easily enough, showing Barty how it's done, "Oh, you think highly of me Barty, but no, I might be able to fix the problems of magical Britain, but making you laugh? That's beyond any of us mere mortals."

Barty scoffed, slapping a palm down on the desk in front of him, looking for a moment surprised at his own reaction, before he soldiered on, "Lord Black, I am not sure why you are here, other then to jest at my expense, but I am a very busy man." Unlike you, his disapproving stare seemed to say, "So get to the point!" He almost growled out.

Barty was no doubt aware of Sirius goals, for all his faults, he was a consummate political animal. Just one without the actual humanity to lead humans.

He'd have made for a terrible Minister. Effective perhaps. But terrible.

Sirius smiled pleasantly, he had him right where he wanted him, fired up and actually emoting. "Say, Barty, you know how playboy's like me are fickle, how about when I win, I get you to run stuff for me?" He said, lounging in his chair, "You can be my successor too I guess, I don't really want the top hat for too long after all, us kissing and making up will look great for both of us!"

Barty froze almost imperceptibly, before he gave Sirius a penetrating stare, "You expect me to believe th-"

Sirius interrupted him, enjoying himself immensely, because fuck this guy, "I don't like you, mate, you don't like anything. So that's almost like having something in common. Think about it, I'm the easy choice, and if you're on my team, you're in with it when I win, aye?"

Left unsaid was of course the threat that Sirius Black winning the Minister's seat would be, while seeing Barty Crouch Sr as an enemy. It wasn't very appealing to said enemy. Sirius was sure Barty could easily pick up on such subtext.

Like he'd said, Barty might be useless as a human being, but a politician? He was that down to his bones.

"Your win is far from a foregone conclusion, Lord Black." Barty sniped grouchily, but Sirius could see that there was some thinking going on behind all those rulebooks stamped into his brain.

If Sirius was to just offer up any kind of cooperation cold, Barty wouldn't even need to think before rejecting it. Political animal or not, the man was not fond of Sirius or how he'd absolutely tanked any chance at a comeback. Now, now he was all fired up already, which made it easier to connect to old ambitions and feelings instead of just cold thinking.

"With you behind me, you know we're the frontrunners, and with your connections and links to the old boys club around here, you'd set the stage for me and you know it. Come on Barty, don't you want your nice cushy reputation back?" Sirius wheedled, purposefully showing a light measure of need. That he needed Barty's help.

Everyone liked feeling needed, or in Barty's case… Feel superior. Poor uneducated Lord Black coming to get the superior politicians help… Or whatever that old fart thought in his head right now, as he ruminated over Sirius offer.

Narcissa had helped him plan for the meeting. Because Sirius hadn't been there, (for obvious reasons) for the man's fall, and therefore he wasn't perfectly up to date on the man's new life. Without her help this meeting would have likely been played too straight, funnily enough. But Narcissa had pushed hard on needing to unbalance Crouch and also to let him see Sirius as a bit of a loose cannon. Someone to be taken advantage of, because he'd inevitably fall once he crossed the finish line.

Only question was playing it in a way where Crouch would take the short term risk of getting involved, the risk being the possibility (in his eyes) that Sirius would flame out before the election. And not come off as too much of a risk where Crouch wouldn't even play at all. Fizzling out before the election was preferable to running and losing after all.

Not that he would flame out before the game even started. But Crouch wasn't a betting man usually, that was part of his problem actually. And part of why he was so useful as a tool to other people who worried about Sirius stability. Barty Crouch in his corner would silence the majority of his possible detractors.

The question was now, had he thrown enough bait to make Barty bite?

"What… Exactly do you have in mind?" Barty asked reluctantly. Looking like he'd taken a bite of something rather unpleasant.

Sirius grinned. And to think, he didn't even have to bring out all the bribes he had planned for just in case. Or the threats.

Oh, Barty, Barty, Barty, you really should have just thrown me out of this office…He thought, his gaze cold, beneath his playboy veneer. Barty would be useful, but not someone Sirius would allow any real influence in his Ministry.

You'll help me get elected, then it's curtains for you….

He'd use the old boys club and high level bureaucracy circles to gain an edge, but those kinds of people were not proponents for equality. Not really. They'd talk the talk quite often. But when they said equality, they meant equality for themonly.

There was no doubt in his mind that they would have to go.

After they've helped him win, of course.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Millicent Bagnold growled angrily as she stalked down the hallway in the bowels of the Ministry, her emotions spiraling enough that her wand sent sparks flying in the air. She startled, looking wildly around, but there was no one around at the moment to see it. She hadn't accidentally set off her wand since her Hogwarts years for Merlin's sake! It was embarrassing!

Why in Circe's bloody tits did that fool Black suddenly find political ambition!? She groused mentally. And how did he keep getting into her Ministry and walk around unhindered without anyone even giving her a heads up!?

Her career was at its zenith, but she had been about to go out on a good note, retiring in good standing. She'd won the war with He-who-must-not-be-named! Led the Ministry to victory. Her! And thanks to the galleons she'd collected from donations of those amongst the noble families that had been led astray, and therefore had needed to pay reparations (to her) instead of being sent to Azkaban - she had a cushy retirement to look forward to. She'd have been sent off with accolades and the public's adoration.

She would have gone down in the annals as one of the most important Ministers in the history of the nation!

They might even have built a statue to mark her leadership during the country's darkest time! How often did a minister survive a Dark Lord? Let alone defeat him? Granted, she acknowledged quietly in her own mind, it was the Potter boy that had actually done the defeating, but she'd been the one in charge, she deserved her fair share!

And now, thanks to that son of a bitch that the Black's threw away like so much garbage, her reputation was in tatters, her legacy tarnished, her retirement was now more akin to running into hiding!

Bones was even talking about investigating where all the donations to 'charity' had gone! The horrid ungrateful bitch! Millicent should have kept Barty in the position even with his indiscretions, at least that man had some Merlin damn loyalty!

She'd been almost done, on her way out, so she'd picked Bones, a notable straight shooter, to replace Barty in the DMLE. With the intention - that with only just shy of 3 years left on her term at the time, and nothing more to do other than take a victory lap, her successor would have to deal with that problem, not her!

She'd purposely dumped a whole load of parchment work on Bones' department to keep her busy for a few years, so why was she stepping up now?

And damn that wily slippery animal Dumbledore too, who suddenly wouldn't take a floo call or send anything but pithy platitudes in his letters, when he answered at all. The last letter she'd gotten from the old headmaster had the temerity to offer her a job! sending her an application form for the defense against the dark arts position! She was on her way out, not senile!

If he'd only shut down Moody in that damnable trial, this all wouldn't have even happened in the first place, she'd almost thought he'd planned this whole thing for his own push, but the old man wasn't quite the poker player he thought he was, and the shock on his face had been real, Millicent could tell.

You didn't climb up the ranks in the Ministry of Magic without being able to read even the most difficult people.

It wasn't fair! She groused mentally. All this because of an Azkaban inmate! They weren't supposed to come back out and be an issue! That's why they sent people to that hellhole in the first place!

This one was supposed to be kissed and gone to boot! If she wasn't so limited in what she could do right now, she'd arrange for the warden to feel her displeasure, perhaps a posting in Antarctica to study the effects of frostbite on a fool wizard's wedding tackle would do, she thought with vindictive pleasure.

More sparks flew as she stalked down the halls, to her visible consternation. She angrily stuck her wand in her pocket to prevent any further problems where she could be seen. People that had always paid her due deference avoided her in the halls now, looking at her like they'd contract a disease for associating with her. She didn't want to add to the perception of her failings by going around and shooting off her wand like some pubescent fool.

She stormed into the office she'd been seeking, making the occupant jump up in nervous subservience. She harrumphed, pleased. At least someone knew where their bread was buttered. She thought, somewhat mollified. She ignored the fact he'd been reading a magazine instead of doing any actual work. She didn't need the man for his actual skill, or lack thereof, after all.

She needed him because he was practically made to be a hand puppet.

"Cornelius. Just the man I wanted to see." She said brusquely, before the man could say something inane.

Cornelius Fudge was a man prone to saying something inane and useless after all, but he somehow had good connections all around the place, and a favorable public perception for someone not in the upper echelons of the administration, as he excelled at reinventing himself to whatever he needed at any given time to get ahead.

The tiny office was nothing compared to her own, but she found that somewhat pleasing this one time. Her large office had felt very empty as of late, and she kept feeling like the walls were closing in on her.

No matter how many memos she sent to the Department of Mysteries, they refused to explore the possibility someone was charming her walls to loom menacingly. Incompetents all around her, the place would fall apart without her here to keep things straight, she was sure of it.

"Madame Minister, what can I do for you today?" The man said, nervously playing with that silly bowler hat of his, Millicent's eyes narrowed in anger and suspicion at his clear nervousness.

Was his subservient attitude due to showing her a Minister's proper due? Or because he didn't want to deal with her and be tarred with the same brush? Was even this toady trying to avoid dealing with her?

Millicent sneered slightly, deciding it didn't matter as she sat down, giving the nervous bumbling man a hard look. He'd be easy enough to control either way, she decided.

"Have you had any thoughts on the Minister's seat? The support of a previous holder would give you a favorable chance, Cornelius." She said smoothly, eyes piercing his, cataloging his weaknesses, finding them pleasing to her goals.

Millicent easily recognized the avarice in the eyes of the man in front of her at that point. Her own smile turning sharp, she could definitely use this man. He was practically begging to be used. She recognized his kind.

The Ministry had plenty of him, but most of those had backers from the old families. She'd picked Fudge, because he sold out to everyone. So he'd have support, from people believing they could control him. When she'd be the one holding the strings, deciding who would be allowed to use him temporarily.

Put her out to pasture would they? She'd lead this fool to the top, and then use him to go after the people who'd dared to ruin her legacy.

And she'd put Sirius Black back where he belonged. In Azkaban.

Her smile widened, frightening Cornelius into silence, as she thought of the justice in that. Returning that pest to his prison, wiping the slate clear again.

She could rebuild her legacy then, blame it all on Black, claim he'd lied from the beginning.

Yes…

She was still the Minister for now, until the election. Her resources would propel Cornelius as her puppet.

She would win.