Cengiz

Finally, I finished my breakfast. I looked at Cengiz, Ahmet, and Kerem one by one. Cengiz's eyes were always on me. Frankly, he was right to do so because I had scared him a lot.

Ahmet seemed happy, at least that's what I thought.

Lastly, Kerem... I couldn't guess what he was thinking. He had a blank expression on his face.

Most likely, he thought he had embarrassed Cengiz and Ahmet because of me, and maybe he had.

Although I don't know if there was anything to be embarrassed about.

My thoughts were buzzing in my head like bees in a big hive.

Maybe I should try to forget what just happened as soon as possible. Now, how am I going to forget it?

They had finished their breakfast, and we started cleaning the table together. No one was speaking. I was still thinking about what kind of place an amusement park was.

Cengiz broke the silence.

"Ahmet, you mentioned something about an amusement park. Is it open on Sunday?"

Ahmet placed the freshly washed wet plates on the counter and turned to Cengiz.

"To be honest, I'm not sure, but even if it's closed, we can go to a regular park. The important thing is to do something together."

Cengiz responded while drying the plates that Ahmet had just washed.

"I see... But isn't it too early? Are we going right now?"

Ahmet placed the last washed plate on the counter with a strong thud. It almost broke. It was clear he was angry, but he quickly regained his composure and spoke.

"Cengiz, if you don't want to come, don't come. Why do you always do this? What's your problem? I'm suggesting we go somewhere together to forget what happened a little and distract ourselves, and you keep objecting."

Kerem and I were sitting back in our chairs, listening to them.

Cengiz seemed both surprised and upset.

"Ahmet, what did I say wrong now? I just said let's not go right away. I also want to do something together."

Ahmet interrupted Cengiz as he was speaking.

"Yes, Cengiz, yes. Let's do as you say."

Upon this, Cengiz's morale deteriorated further. His eyes welled up with tears.

"Fine! Screw off wherever you're going. I'll stay home!"

Ahmet remained calm and collected, looking at the plates he had washed. He didn't respond to Cengiz.

Kerem said, "Wait, Cengiz, don't say that. We're all going together, you know."

Cengiz ignored Kerem's words and headed towards the door.

As he passed in front of me, he said, "It's all because of you! Where did we bring trouble to this house from! You ruined all our peace!"

I didn't say a word. I just lowered my head.

He slammed the door shut very hard as he left.

Kerem said, "He didn't mean that, Taşkın. Don't mind him. He said that because he was angry."

I nodded my head in acknowledgment. It felt like saying anything would be shameless.

Maybe Cengiz was right in what he said.

Kerem went after Cengiz. Ahmet, meanwhile, turned to the counter, placing both hands on it, looking at me. I think he was about to say something. Perhaps things he couldn't say in front of Kerem and Cengiz.

"Look, Taşkın... I've really warmed up to you. I really see you as a brother. But your behavior today wasn't very... sensible. If this happens again, how do I know you won't attack us? I know you have an illness, but I can't reconcile that with your behavior today. I think your bleeding from your nose and ears is a separate illness, and the reason for your behavior today is something completely different."

I listened carefully to Ahmet's words. I could somewhat predict where this conversation was heading.

"So... (hesitates and thinks for a few seconds) what I mean is, (takes a deep breath) if something like today happens again, we might have to ask you to leave this house. You need to go to the hospital as soon as possible so that this doesn't happen."

I didn't want to go to the hospital. I had to somehow convince him.

"Don't worry, Ahmet. I'm sure this was a one-time thing. It won't happen again. I'll control myself. I promise."

Ahmet smiled.

"You sound very sure. Haha. I hope you're right."

I smiled back at him.

"Are you ready to go to the amusement park now? I hope it's open."

Taşkın's eyes were shining. Although he tried not to show it, he couldn't contain himself. He was excited to go to an amusement park for the first time in his life.

If someone else went through what Taşkın went through, he would probably lose his mind. The countless scars on his body bore the traces of the torture he had experienced.

He was tied in chains and treated like a dog, but despite all this horror, Taşkın was still a little boy. The amusement park, which was easily accessible to everyone, was a source of happiness that he could not even imagine.

"Yes, yes, I'm ready. If it's closed, it doesn't matter; we can do something else... I mean, if you want."

Ahmet watched Taşkın with a smile.

"You seem really excited, huh?"

"Yes, I really am excited. I've never been to an amusement park before."

The smile on Ahmet's face turned slightly bittersweet, but he tried not to show it to Taşkın.

"It should be open, but if not, we can do something else, as you said."

Taşkın asked eagerly.

"Should we go right away then?"

"I don't mind. Should we go now, or should we wait a bit?"

Taşkın wanted to go as soon as possible, but at the same time, he felt guilty. He thought about Cengiz's situation.

"Ahmet... I think I should talk to Cengiz first. I mean, he's angry with me right now, and if we go now and Cengiz doesn't come with us, I won't enjoy the amusement park even if it's open. Isn't it more important to do things together?"

After carefully listening to Taşkın's words, Ahmet took a deep breath. There was understanding and compassion in his eyes. He put his right hand on Taşkın's shoulder and looked into his eyes. "You're really a good person, Taşkın. I'm glad your past experiences haven't turned you into a bad person. I hope you stay like this."

Haha. Taşkın has already become a bad person, but he's not aware of it.

Taşkın froze for a moment. He had thought Milaz had left him because they hadn't spoken in a while. When he suddenly spoke, he didn't know what to do.

..

"I'm talking to you, Taşkın. Are you okay? Look, it shouldn't happen again."

Taşkın quickly pulled himself together.

"I'm okay, I'm okay. I was lost in thought for a moment. I was thinking about Cengiz."

Ahmet looked into Taşkın's eyes suggestively.

"You're a good guy, Taşkın, but you're a bit weird. haha."

I laughed along with Ahmet because that's all that came to mind at that moment.

Later, Ahmet headed for the door to leave the kitchen. Just before leaving through the door, he turned to Taşkın.

"Taşkın, are you coming?"

"I'll be there in a moment. I'll drink some water from the fridge."

"Sure, drink up. Cold water is good after what happened earlier. Haha."

Then Ahmet left the kitchen.

As I said to Ahmet, I headed for the fridge and put the water-filled glass bottle on the table and started filling the glass from the glasses on the counter. I sat on the chair farthest from the kitchen door and started sipping water.

I thought you had abandoned me.

You know I can't abandon you.

Then why didn't you respond when I called you?

Because you had angered me. I'm tired of your nonsense behavior. I wish you would grow up and mature already.

...

Well, now you'll understand-

When the time comes, I will tell you everything.

Right now, you're just irritating me, Milaz.

Haha. You're scaring me a lot right now.

I can't even explain it. Please don't hurt me.

...

..

So what are you going to do now?

Are you going to the amusement park with your stupid friends?

Speak the truth about them. You say we should get along, but you keep provoking me.

Okay, okay. You don't get jokes either.

..

Yes.. we're thinking of going to the amusement park together. But first, I need to talk to Cengiz. I really scared him.

Forget about him. If he doesn't want to come, he doesn't want to.

What did I just tell you?

.. (muttering)

I quickly finished the water and put the glass bottle back in the fridge. I left the kitchen to go to Cengiz.

When I entered the living room, Kerem and Ahmet were lying down, playing with their phones.

"Where's Cengiz?" I said.

They both looked at me, "He said he's going out for a bit, we didn't stop him. He's already angry right now. If we tried to stop him, we'd fight again," Ahmet said. Kerem also nodded his head.

"Where did he go? I wanted to talk to him."

This time Kerem cut in. "Taşkın, I mean, right now Cengiz probably wants you to talk to him." he said.

"It's okay, I still want to try my luck. If he kicks me out, I'll come home."

Kerem and Ahmet looked at each other.

Then Ahmet said, "You know where we first met. There's a park near there. He probably went there." he said.

"Okay." I said and quickly began to change my clothes to go out.

Ahmet and Kerem were watching me. "Slow down a bit, you'll fall down now," Kerem said, laughing.

I was laughing and changing clothes.

After I changed my clothes, I started walking to the door to go out.

As I was about to step out of the door, Ahmet called out to me from behind.

"Taşkın, if you don't want to talk to me, don't force me. Don't insist, don't turn around. As Kerem said, Cengiz doesn't want to see your face."

"Okay, okay, don't worry. If he doesn't want me with him, I'll come right back."

Upon this, Ahmet was about to say something again, but he changed his mind at the last moment and just waved to me.

I quickly started walking towards the park.

I remembered the location of the park very well. After a while, when I got there, Cengiz was sitting alone on one of the swings.

I started walking towards him. He noticed me and stared at me straight. Maybe Ahmet and Kerem shouldn't have come here. But there was no turning back. No matter what.

"Why did you come here? Also, how did you know I was coming here? ... They told you, didn't they?"

"Yes, Ahmet said so. Please don't get angry with him."

"I'm not angry with Ahmet. There's only one person I'm angry with, and that's you."

"Fuck off from here."

That bastard's really getting on my nerves.

Milaz!

..

"I'm telling you, fuck off from here."

"Cengiz, calm down please. I just want to talk."

"But I don't want to talk."

After saying this, he stopped sitting on the swing and started walking towards me. I think what I feared was going to happen. I had come here to repair our relationship, but I think our relationship would get worse soon.

"Cengiz, don't do this. I don't want to fight with you. I just came to make things right between us."

"You came here and acted stupid, Taşkın. Kerem and Ahmet aren't here to help you out."

"Where did you get the idea that I would ask for help?"

You're finally being a bit brave.

Cengiz seemed even more angered by my words, and suddenly he lunged at me, and we started rolling on the sandy ground.

Taşkın, shut this guy up already. He's getting on my nerves.

...

Cengiz and Taşkın were grappling with each other. Both of them had sand in their eyes, so their punches were not landing where they intended.

Cengiz and Taşkın momentarily separated to rub the sand out of their eyes.

"Cengiz, stop now! Let's just talk!"

He ignored me and charged at me again. Just as he was about to wrap his arms around my waist and bring me down, I punched him with all my might just below his left eye.

Haha. That's the way it is.

...

My hand hurt from the impact, but it worked. Cengiz was on the ground, trying to get up. He was stunned by the punch. He probably didn't expect such a swift and effective response.

"You brought this on yourself, I just wanted to make things right between us."

"Now I'll do as you said and fuck off."

I turned around and started walking towards home.

"Wait." (in a low voice)

He must have called out to me, but I didn't catch it. I ignored it and kept walking.

"Wait!"

I quickly turned around.

Cengiz was on his knees, looking at me.

"Don't go. Come here and let's talk. I'll listen to you."

I guess he needed to get beat up to agree. Maybe you should have beaten Cengiz much earlier, Taşkın. What do you think? Haha.

...

I started walking towards Cengiz. As I walked, he straightened up on his knees and returned to the swing he had been sitting on. I went and sat on the swing next to him.

I did want to talk to him, yes, but there was a strange atmosphere now. Just moments ago, we were rolling on the ground, and now talking as if nothing happened felt strange.

"Come on, Taşkın, you've been wanting to talk to me all along. We even fought for it. Why are you silent now?"

That wasn't a fight. You just took a beating.

Stop it, Milaz.

"I'm silent because it's a weird atmosphere. Like you said, we fought just now, and now talking as if nothing happened feels weird."

"Haha. No problem. Your hand packs a punch, I must admit. I never expected that. It still hurts."

"Um.. yeah, about that, I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, I deserved it. You wanted to talk to me properly, and I attacked you."

...

..

"Taşkın, I think you really need to talk now. It's been a few minutes, but you're still silent."

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry."

"What I really mean is, I'm really sorry. I scared you a lot, but trust me, I would never hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't. My hand still hurts. Haha."

Cengiz's words made Taşkın's face fall.

"Hey, I'm just kidding. Besides, I trust you. I overreacted a bit too. I'm sorry."

"We're friends, right?" I said, reaching out my hand to him.

"We're not friends, we're brothers," he said, shaking my hand.

I was really happy to hear that. Just a few minutes ago, considering what happened, I couldn't have imagined such a thing would be possible.

I'm glad I came here. If I hadn't, Cengiz and I would probably have stayed at odds for a long time.

"So Cengiz, how about we head back home now?"

"Although when Kerem and Ahmet see us like this, they're sure to shower us with questions. Haha."

As I said this, I got up from the swing and started heading home. When I looked back, Cengiz was still sitting there.

"What's wrong, Cengiz? Are you okay? Does it really hurt that much?"

Cengiz looked at me sadly.

"No, Taşkın, it's not about the pain."

I listened carefully to Cengiz.

"Could you sit back down on the swing, Taşkın? I want to tell you something."

"Of course," I said and sat back down on the swing.

He looked very contemplative. What was he going to tell me?

"I've only told this to Kerem and Ahmet so far, you're the third person I'm going to tell."

"Cengiz, you don't have to tell me."

"No, no. I really want to tell you."

"Okay, whatever you want."

I was looking at Cengiz with curious eyes and he was looking at the infinite number of grains of sand with his head down. I think it was very difficult for him.

He took a deep breath and began to tell me.