Harry Potter : In the shadow of divinity40.48%

Chapter - 34 : The Serpent's Bite part - 3

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(P).(A).(T).(R).(E).(O).(N)

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Summertime had always been Harry's least favorite time of the year, the air always got so heavy and hot and there was nothing Harry liked less than heat. But this year seemed to be especially miserable as, whenever he so much as stepped outside, he felt lightheaded and crabby, nothing to be particularly worried about, but it irritated him nonetheless. And his horrible mood was not helped along when, midway through the summer, he received the news that Marge Dursley, Vernon's vile sister would be visiting for a week.

Harry absolutely detested Marge Dursley. The last time the woman visited was a year before his first year at Hogwarts, the woman was far too much like her brother both appearance and attitude-wise. That is to say, absolutely foul.

A few hours after noon, on the day of Marge's arrival, Harry was seated at his desk reading a book on runes of Ancient Egypt when he heard the crunch of gravel outside as Vernon pulled the car into the drive. Sighing, he set his book down and headed downstairs to greet their guest.

"Where's my Dudders?" roared the woman the moment sh entered the house. "Where's my neffy poo?"

Dudley waddled into the hall and allowed his aunt to sweep him into a one armed hug (one had her demon dog, Ripper, tucked under it) and smack a big kiss on his fat cheek.

Once she'd finished with Dudley, Marge moved onto Petunia, but she didn't acknowledge Harry until everyone had settled around the table for tea. "So! Still here, are you?" she barked.

"Trust me," Harry said, calmly sipping his tea, "if I had somewhere better to be, I'd be there in a heartbeat."

"Don't you take that tone with me, boy, and you better show your aunt and uncle some respect. They took you in when I would have sent you straight to the orphanage."

"So I've been told." Harry placed his tea cup down and stood up from the table. "Well, as pleasant as this has been, and trust me your very presence lights up my life, I have a million and one things I should be doing, and losing brain cells conversing with you is not one of them."

Harry left the kitchen with Marge's outraged voice following him, ranting rubbish about bad eggs and taking the cane to him. He snorted softly to himself, he would absolutely love to see her try.

Harry knew he shouldn't, that it was immature and simply courting trouble, but he couldn't help but goad Marge for her entire visit. Riling her up helped ease the irritation the summer's heat brought on, plus, the way her face turned bright red whenever he commented on his relatives overall uselessness was just too amusing.

By the time the dinner of her last night with them rolled around, Marge had reached her limit of disrespectful comments, any more and she would surely explode. And, if his aunt, uncle, and cousin's tense stances when they settled at the dinner table were anything to go by, they knew it too.

They managed to get through soup and salmon with no problem, and Vernon delayed any confrontations during dessert by boring every one half to death with talk about his company; it was when coffee was served and Marge helped herself to a large glass of brandy that everything went to hell.

The conversation started off innocently enough, Marge complimented Petunia on a wonderful dinner and lamented the fact that she didn't have the time to cook herself a proper meal when she was at home, then it moved onto her admiring Dudley's wide girth until, finally, she turned to Harry and, with a nasty sneer, attempted to put him down.

"This one," she said, giving Harry a once over, "he's got a mean, runty look about him. You get that with dogs. I had Colonel Fubster drown one last year, ratty little thing it was. Weak. Underbred."

Vernon and Petunia looked apprehensively to Harry, but he was contentedly eating his second slice of pie. Calm as could be.

"It all comes down to blood, as I was saying the other day. Bad blood will out. Now, I'm saying nothing against your family, Petunia but your sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best families. Then she ran off with a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us."

"This Potter," Aunt Marge sad, seizing the brandy bottle and splashing more into her glass and over the tablecloth, "you never told me what he did."

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were looking extremely tense, Dudley had even looked up from his pie to gape at his parents. They all knew that the one thing that really made Harry angry, was insulting his parents.

"He was law enforcement," Uncle Vernon said with half a glance at Harry. "Worked with Scotland Yard."

"And he probably abused his position!" Aunt Marge scoffed, taking a huge swig of brandy and wiping her chin on her sleeve. "A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scoundrel who would have-"

"Enough," Harry said so dangerously calmly, Marge actually fell silent. "You may say anything you want about me, heaven knows I can take it. But I refuse to sit back and listen as you befoul my parents' names. You will keep their names, and anything to do with them, out of your mouth."

In the seconds following Harry's little speech, Marge made her second mistake of the night (the first being insulting his parents), the obese woman leaned forward and, with a breath reeking of liquor, said simply, "Or what?"

Oh how he'd been hoping she'd ask that, a slow, malicious smile crossed Harry's face, his emerald eyes bored into Marge's beady blue ones. Suddenly, the woman began retching violently.

"Marge?" Vernon whimpered. "Marge what's wrong?"

The woman gave a shuddering heave and several large snails spilled from her mouth and landed with wet plops directly onto the table. Vernon and Dudley leapt to their feet as fast as their considerable weights allowed, and Petunia pushed her chair away from the table with a loud, horrified scream. Harry and Marge remained the only two sitting; the former watching as the latter began coughing up slugs in earnest. Her face first turned red as the constant flow of slugs cut off her breathing and as seconds passed she slowly turned blue.