Rings. The secret is revealed

We entered the restaurant and sat down at the same table as five years ago. Every year for five years in a row, I have lived this day over and over again, only the endings are different each time. Every year for five years in a row, on this day, I spend an evening with the person I hate the most in the world. The man who has become my curse, my worst nightmare and my own killer. He kills me over and over again, appearing in my life, talking to me and even looking at me. One step closer and I feel like my neck is being noosed, one look at him and it's like a blade piercing my heart, one touch and I'm drowning underwater, one word from him and I feel like a gun is being held to my temple.