Pages of Pain

Life is like a big picture made from all the choices we make, the things we experience, and the people we meet. Each moment we live adds a piece to this picture, creating something unique and beautiful. When we look back, we can see how everything we've gone through has shaped who we are. We all want to be happy, but true happiness comes from learning from our struggles. Difficult times are not just problems; they are chances to grow stronger. Every time we face a challenge, we discover more about our strength and what we can handle.

Our connections with other people make our lives even richer. Everyone we meet adds their own colors and patterns to our story, shaping how we see the world. When we share our joys and difficulties, we build friendships that help us feel supported and loved.

As we go through life, it's important to accept both the good times and the bad. Every part of our story, no matter if it's bright or dark, is important. By embracing everything we go through, we can make our lives full of meaning and wisdom as we continue on our journey.

**Celine's POV**

I quietly approached the young master's study table, my heart racing with a mix of curiosity and apprehension. There, on the polished wood, lay his diary—a small, leather-bound book that seemed to hold the weight of his thoughts and struggles. Remius was asleep nearby, his chest rising and falling gently with each breath.

I knew I shouldn't be snooping through his things, but my curiosity got the better of me. I was confident that Remius, with his kind nature and the bond we shared, would understand if he found me with it. He always treated me with such warmth, and in my eyes, he was like a younger brother. Surely, he wouldn't be too upset.

Gingerly, I opened the diary, careful not to make a sound. The pages were filled with his neat, meticulous handwriting, detailing his relentless training and the challenges he faced. I couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy as I read about the grueling experiences he endured, the pain and exhaustion that seemed almost unbearable.

Despite knowing I was crossing a line, I felt a deeper understanding of the young master's inner world through these pages. His vulnerability, his hopes, and his fears were laid bare, and I found myself even more resolved to support him however I could.

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**Diary Entries**

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Day 1

I spent the entire day running—endlessly. My legs feel as though they've been pulverized into a mushy, throbbing mess. They're so swollen that they barely resemble legs anymore, and each attempt to move them feels like an excruciating ordeal. The skin on the soles of my feet has worn away completely from the relentless friction, leaving raw, bleeding patches that flare with every step I take. By the time I collapsed onto my bed, every muscle in my body was in a state of relentless, searing agony. I'm so utterly spent that I don't even have the strength to think.

Good night.

Day 2

We ran again today, facing the same unyielding pace and brutal terrain. My knees ache with a relentless, throbbing pain, as though they've been hammered with unending force. It feels as if my joints are being crushed, with no hint of relief in sight. The oppressive, sinister presence that drives us remains a mystery—an unseen force that pushes us to the brink of collapse. Each time we're on the verge of complete breakdown, the stifling pressure suddenly disappears, leaving us crumpled and battered. This level of exhaustion is beyond anything I ever thought possible.

Day 3

The agony in my legs has intensified and now radiates up to my lower back, making it feel as though every nerve is being set on fire. The pain is unrelenting and all-consuming, burning me from the inside out. The distance we had to cover today was longer and more grueling than ever, pushing me to the edge of my physical and mental endurance. Each step felt like torture—my muscles burning with every movement, my joints aching with a deep, unyielding pain.

The others are visibly struggling too, their faces etched with exhaustion and suffering. But despite the shared misery, I can't help but feel as though I am the weakest of us all. The invisible pressure, which we still haven't been able to identify, returned today with even greater intensity. It was like a relentless, oppressive force that clung to us, draining our energy and willpower as if it were feeding off our collective suffering. This unseen burden only seemed to grow heavier as we pushed forward, leaving us to crumple in defeat once more.

Day 4

I tried to pace myself today, but the intense drive to keep moving forward didn't relent. My lungs burned with every breath, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as if it was trying to escape. We're running further each day, and the terrain is getting steeper. I can barely stand after today's run. My feet are a mess of blisters and torn skin. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that if I stop, I might never get up again.

Day 5

I'm beginning to grasp the disturbing pattern. The force that drives us forward seems to relent only when we're on the verge of complete collapse. It vanishes abruptly, just enough to allow us a brief respite, only to reappear with renewed vigor once we start moving again. It feels like a cruel game, one where the rules are designed to break us down while keeping us barely functional.

My legs, once strong, now feel like they're made of lead, each step a grueling battle against an invisible weight. The pain is a constant, gnawing presence, and I can barely summon the energy to keep going. Today, I couldn't help but notice that Lysander and Liora appeared slightly more at ease, their movements more fluid compared to my own labored strides. It's difficult not to dwell on this, to ignore the gnawing fear that I'm falling further behind. Every step I take feels like a struggle against the overwhelming pressure and the ever-present sense of inadequacy.

Day 10

The terrain has become even more challenging, with steep inclines and rocky paths. My body is adapting, but not fast enough. The oppressive force is relentless, pushing us harder and faster every day. The pain is becoming a constant companion, a dull ache that never really goes away. I can't remember the last time I didn't hurt somewhere. The others are still struggling, but I can see them getting stronger. Am I?

Day 20

I didn't think it was possible, but the training has reached a new level of brutality. The invisible pressure that drives us is now more suffocating than ever, a relentless force that feels like it's closing in on me from all sides. The terrain has become increasingly treacherous—now we're running through rain that soaks us to the bone, mud that clings to our feet like lead, and even snow that chills us to the core. Every step feels like an assault on my senses, my body battered and bruised by the harsh elements.

My muscles are sore and inflamed, my mind teetering on the edge of exhaustion. The physical pain is only matched by the mental strain, as every day brings a new challenge that seems designed to break us down. Despite the agony and the mounting doubt, I push myself to keep going. I can't afford to be the one who gives up, not when the others are still fighting through their own struggles. Each step forward feels like an act of defiance against the crushing pressure and the ever-increasing difficulty of the training.

Day 40

I can barely feel my legs anymore, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing. The constant pressure feels like it's trying to crush us, and the terrain is unforgiving. The distance we cover each day has nearly doubled since we started, and the breaks between runs are getting shorter. I've started to notice that the others don't seem to be as exhausted as I am. I'm trying not to let it bother me, but it does.

Day 80

Every day brings a new level of torment, each more relentless than the last. The training intensity feels like a cruel test, designed to shatter my resolve and push me beyond my breaking point. The terrain has morphed into a nightmarish series of obstacles—quicksands of mud, sheer slopes of jagged rock, and treacherous paths slick with rain or encrusted with ice. Each step through this brutal landscape is a battle against an unforgiving environment that seems to take pleasure in my suffering.

Lysander and Liora, on the other hand, are advancing with a terrifying ease. Their stamina grows day by day, their movements more fluid and assured as they adapt to the grueling demands of the training. I watch as they pull further ahead, their progress a stark contrast to my own struggle. The gap between us feels like an insurmountable chasm, and with each passing moment, it widens, feeding the gnawing sense of inadequacy that threatens to consume me. Despite my determination to keep pace, the crushing realization that I'm falling behind makes it increasingly difficult to ignore the weight of my own perceived failure.

Day 120

The pain has become a part of me. It's there when I wake up, when I run, even when I sleep. The pressure to keep going is relentless, driving us harder every day. We're running through rougher terrain, and the weather is becoming a constant challenge. I can see the progress in the others—they're getting faster, stronger. I'm still struggling, still fighting to keep up, but it's getting harder. The fear of falling behind is gnawing at me.

Day 150

I've reached a point where my own body feels alien to me. It's bruised, battered, and barely responsive, yet I force myself to keep moving. The training's intensity is like a crushing weight on my chest, suffocating me with its relentless pressure. The distance we cover now is staggering, and the brief respite we get between runs feels like a cruel mockery of relief. Each break is so fleeting that it barely offers any comfort, just enough to catch my breath before plunging back into the torment.

Lysander and Liora seem to thrive in this relentless gauntlet. They navigate the grueling conditions with a resilience that only underscores my own struggle. As they excel, their ease only amplifies the feeling of inadequacy that gnaws at me. Every step I take feels like a battle against the ever-growing gap between us, and the thought that I might not be able to keep up, let alone meet the demands of this brutal training, is a constant source of anxiety. The fear of falling behind looms ever larger, threatening to overshadow what little determination I have left.

Day 200

The training is a nightmare I can't wake up from. The intensity of the pressure feels like it's trying to break me, and the terrain presents a never-ending series of challenges pushing me to my limits. The others are starting to look more comfortable with the intensity, while I'm still struggling with every step. I can't help but feel like the weakest link, with the fear of failure always lurking just beneath the surface.

Day 250

I'm not sure how much more of this I can endure. The pressure to keep pushing forward is suffocating, a relentless force crushing my spirit. The terrain has become increasingly brutal—rocky, uneven, and merciless. My body is barely holding together, battered and bruised from relentless punishment. We've been running so long that time has lost all meaning, days blending into an endless cycle of exhaustion and pain.

Meanwhile, Lysander and Liora continue to grow stronger, their progress a stark contrast to my struggle just to keep pace. Every day feels like a battle against my own limitations, and it's becoming harder to shake the feeling that I'm failing, that I'm not measuring up. The fear of being left behind is no longer just a worry; it's becoming a reality, gnawing at me and threatening to drown out any remaining hope.

Day 300

The pressure to keep going is suffocating, the terrain unforgiving, and my body is on the verge of collapse. I've been pushing myself harder than ever, but it feels like I'm running in place while the others sprint ahead. Lysander and Liora are excelling, their progress evident in every stride. I'm still struggling to keep up, fighting the constant fear that I'll never be as strong as they are. This thought weighs heavily on my mind, dragging me down even as I try to push forward.

Day 350

After nearly a year of grueling training, my status remains stubbornly at F rank, while Lysander and Liora have advanced to E rank. It feels like a punch to the gut each time I see their progress. All the effort, pain, and sacrifice seem to have brought me no closer to my goal. Their movements have become smoother, their endurance greater, while I'm still stuck in the same place, struggling to keep up.

It's deeply disheartening to witness their growth while I remain stagnant. I'm trying desperately to stay motivated, to push through the discouragement, but it's a constant battle. The fear of being left behind is no longer just a fear; it's becoming my reality. Each day, I grapple with the crushing weight of my own inadequacy and the relentless pressure to overcome it.

Day 365

The running phase is finally over, but I'm caught in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. I'm not sure whether to feel relieved or anxious about what's next. My body is utterly drained, beyond exhausted from the relentless punishment. Despite the endurance I've built, it still feels like I'm back at square one. My status remains stubbornly at F, a stark contrast to Lysander and Liora, who have both advanced to E rank. They seem to glide through this training effortlessly, while I'm left struggling just to keep pace.

The realization that, after a full year of punishing runs, my status hasn't improved is a crushing blow. It's disheartening to see their progress while I remain stuck. Yet, despite the discouragement, I refuse to give up. There are still two more years of training ahead, and I'm determined to turn things around. I have to believe that the next phase will bring change, that I'll find my strength amidst the trials yet to come.

This diary has become my refuge—a place to vent frustrations and document my journey, no matter how insignificant it may seem at times. I'll continue to write, to train, and to push myself forward. This is only the end of the beginning, and I'm resolved to face whatever comes next with renewed determination.

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As I turned the last page, I carefully closed the diary, my heart heavy with the weight of what I had read. Remius had been hiding so much pain and struggle behind his usual calm demeanor. I never realized how hard he had been pushing himself, how much he had been suffering in silence. The comparison to Lysander and Liora, who seemed to breeze through the training with ease, only deepened the wound.

I glanced over at Remius, still asleep, his face peaceful and untroubled. It was hard to reconcile this image of him with the person who had poured his heart out onto those pages. I felt an overwhelming surge of protectiveness and a deep sadness for the young master who was so harsh on himself.

Guilt gnawed at me for intruding into his private world, but I also felt a renewed determination. If he wouldn't share his burden with anyone, then I would find a way to help him carry it. I resolved to be there for him in whatever way I could, to support him through this grueling journey, even if he didn't realize how much he needed it.

I placed the diary back on the table, exactly where I had found it, and slowly backed away. As I reached the door, I took one last look at Remius, silently vowing that I would do whatever it took to help him succeed. Even if it meant being the silent support he didn't know he needed, I would be there.

Stepping out of the room, I closed the door softly behind me, my mind racing with thoughts of how I could aid Remius in his quest for strength and recognition. He wasn't alone, even if he believed he was. And I would make sure he knew that, no matter what.