A Mountain of Struggles

Life is a series of experiences, each one teaching us something important. We all go through good times and bad times, and both are valuable. When we feel happy, we learn to appreciate joy and the people around us. But when we face challenges or sadness, we discover our inner strength and resilience. These tough moments can help us grow and understand ourselves better.

Connection with others is vital. Our friends and family support us and share in our joys and struggles. Talking openly with them helps us feel less alone and more understood. Listening to their stories can also teach us new perspectives and wisdom.

It's essential to be kind to ourselves. We often judge our failures harshly, but everyone experiences setbacks. Accepting our flaws and mistakes allows us to move forward and learn. Life isn't just about success; it's about the journey of learning and evolving.

In the end, life is about balance—between joy and pain, success and failure. By embracing all feelings and experiences, we find meaning and growth. Each step we take contributes to who we are, guiding us toward a richer and more fulfilling life.

***Remius POV***

I woke up groggy, the weight of my thoughts pulling me down before I even opened my eyes. My head throbbed from a restless night, where worry had twisted my thoughts into a tangled mess. When I finally forced myself to sit up, I could feel the stiffness in my body, and my mind still felt clouded, slow to catch up to the day ahead. The dark circles under my eyes were a telltale sign of my unrest.

How did I know? Well…

Well, that became apparent as soon as I was greeted by Celine. She entered my room with her usual grace, the same serene smile on her face, though her brows furrowed slightly when she saw me.

"Good morning, Young Master!" Celine greeted me cheerfully, but her voice held a note of concern. "Did you sleep well?"

Her face betrayed confusion, and beneath that, a glimmer of concern. But what could I say? I couldn't confide in her about my insecurities. How would that make me appear as a man? Weak? Incompetent? No. I had to keep up appearances, even if it was all a facade.

"Good morning," I replied, forcing a smile. "Yes, I had a good sleep."

Did she believe me? I couldn't tell. Maybe she just pretended, maybe she saw right through me. Either way, she nodded with a smile, and that was that.

I went through the motions. I freshened up, had breakfast—though the food tasted bland and textureless in my mouth—and then headed to the training grounds. Just one more year left until training is finished. And then… what? I had no idea what awaited me beyond that, and the uncertainty gnawed at my insides.

As I walked slowly towards the training grounds, my mind was trapped in an endless loop of questions. *Why can't I improve? What's wrong with me?*

Each step felt heavier than the last, not because of physical exhaustion—though that was always there—but because of the weight of these thoughts pressing down on me. Was it because I was more self-aware, that I noticed every small failure and every missed opportunity more acutely than others? Or was there something fundamentally broken in me, something that kept me from reaching the potential that everyone else seemed to unlock so effortlessly?

I didn't know, and the uncertainty gnawed at me, far worse than the bruises or the pain in my legs. The not knowing was the worst part. Every day, it felt like I was falling further behind, like the gap between me and everyone else was widening with each passing moment. It was as if I were stuck in quicksand, struggling desperately but sinking deeper and deeper the more I fought against it.

By the time I reached the training grounds, I saw Liora and Lysander already there. They were standing close together, deep in conversation. Their faces showed that same blend of determination and nervous energy that had become all too familiar over the past year. They both glanced up when they noticed me approaching.

"Good morning," I said, nodding to them. My voice was calm, but inside, I couldn't shake the unease that lingered beneath the surface. Liora smiled, a bright and encouraging expression that almost made me feel like I was a part of their world, even if only for a moment. Lysander, with his usual smirk, gave me a small nod in return.

I took my place beside them, feeling like an outsider, even though we were all in this together. They didn't treat me any differently, but I couldn't help but notice how much further along they seemed.

"Are you ready?" Lysander asked, his usual grin plastered on his face. But behind it, I could see the tension in his eyes, the nervousness he tried so hard to hide.

I nodded, trying to muster the same confidence, even though my heart wasn't in it. My legs still felt heavy, my mind clouded by doubts.

Liora gave me a look—soft, but determined. She always had that air of quiet strength, the kind that made you believe things could get better, even when they seemed impossible.

"Don't worry," she said gently, her voice a bit more upbeat than usual. "We will get stronger!"

I wished I could share her optimism. She and Lysander had already shown so much progress, while I remained stuck, struggling just to keep pace. But her words, as simple as they were, held a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, if I kept pushing forward, things would change.

I forced a smile and replied, "Yeah, we will."

But inside, all I could think was: *Will I, though?* Wouldn't this just be a repeat of the past two years? Another year of endless struggle, with no progress to show for it? What if all of this was just… a waste of time?

The thought gnawed at me, a quiet fear I couldn't shake. I had watched Lysander and Liora grow stronger, their hard work paying off in ways I couldn't even dream of. But for me, every day felt like the same endless battle, with no victory in sight.

What if all of this effort—every painful step, every sleepless night, every bruise and blister—led nowhere? What if, no matter how much I tried, I'd always be the one falling behind, always be the one watching others move ahead?

I glanced at Lysander and Liora again, trying to find comfort in their determination. But all I felt was that familiar, sinking weight in my chest. What if I was destined to always feel like this—stuck in place, while everyone else moved forward?

I forced my legs to move, stepping onto the training grounds. Whatever happened, I couldn't let them see how much I was doubting myself.

My heart wrenched at the thought, but I buried it deep, forcing myself to focus on the present.

Just then, our instructor arrived. She looked at us without a word of approval or encouragement. Her gaze was cold, unreadable. Without preamble, she simply said, "Follow."

And so we did.

We jogged to keep up, and as usual, my siblings had an easier time of it. Liora and Lysander moved with relative ease, their breathing steady, their steps sure. Meanwhile, I struggled to keep pace. My legs felt like lead, every step a reminder of my weakness. My lungs burned, and my breath came in ragged gasps. It was the same as always—tired, breathless, dragging myself forward through sheer willpower alone.

The path we took looked familiar, almost identical to the one that led to the lake. But instead of heading into the trees, we ran around them, circling the edge of the forest. My thoughts spiraled downward with each step. My siblings, Liora and Lysander, were stronger, faster. They had progressed. They had hope. But me? I was still the same. Weak. Pathetic. And no matter how hard I tried, nothing changed.

By the time we reached the end of the path, we were greeted by a breathtaking sight—a mountain so massive it seemed to pierce the heavens themselves. It loomed before us, a monolith of stone and ice, its peak lost in the clouds far above. It was magnificent, in a way that made me feel small, insignificant. But all I could feel was dread pooling in my stomach.

Our instructor's voice rang out, cold and impassive: "Climb."

Climb? My heart sank.

We stared up at the mountain, its sheer cliffs towering above us, the jagged rocks and steep slopes seeming to mock us. I could feel the weight of her command pressing down on us. There was no room for argument, no space for hesitation. We had to climb.

Lysander took a deep breath and stepped forward, determination etched on his face. Liora followed, her jaw set in a hard line of resolve. And then there was me. I hesitated for just a moment, but that moment was enough for doubt to creep in. How am I supposed to climb this? I could barely keep up during the run. Climbing a mountain like this… it felt impossible.

But I had no choice. I forced myself to take a step, then another, and before I knew it, my hands were on the cold, rough surface of the mountain. The climb began.

It was slow. Painful. Every inch gained felt like a battle. The muscles in my arms and legs screamed in protest with each movement, and my breath came in shallow, labored gasps. The air grew thinner the higher we went, and soon, every breath felt like I was inhaling shards of glass. I could hear my siblings above me, moving steadily upwards, their progress constant. But for me, each handhold, each foothold was a struggle. My fingers slipped more than once, and my heart leaped into my throat as I scrambled to regain my grip.

I wanted to stop. I wanted to just… give up. But that wasn't an option. Not here. Not now. So I kept going, even as my body protested with every fiber of its being.

Time lost all meaning. Minutes? Hours? I couldn't tell. All I knew was the unrelenting pain in my muscles and the icy wind that cut through my clothes. My vision blurred with sweat and exhaustion, and more than once, I felt myself teeter on the edge of slipping, of falling.

But I didn't fall. Somehow, I managed to keep going. One handhold at a time. One agonizing step after another.

The higher we climbed, the colder it became. My fingers felt numb against the stone, and the wind grew fiercer, whipping at us with biting intensity. The mountain didn't care about our struggles, our pain. It was indifferent to our efforts. It simply existed, a monument to our insignificance.

And still, we climbed.

By the time we reached a narrow ledge, I was barely holding on. My body was trembling uncontrollably, my muscles on the verge of collapse. I collapsed onto the ledge, gasping for breath, my entire body screaming in agony.

Liora and Lysander were already there, waiting. They looked exhausted too, but not like me. They were stronger. They had made it up here with far more ease. I could see it in their eyes—they were tired, but they were still standing. Still ready to continue.

Our instructor appeared above us, perched on a higher ledge as if the climb had been nothing more than a casual stroll for her. Her gaze swept over us, lingering on me for just a moment longer than the others. There was no sympathy in her eyes. No pity. Just the cold, hard expectation that we would continue.

"Rest," she said, her voice flat and emotionless. "We continue soon."