Chapter 39: A Little Sickness Can't Hurt....? (2/2)

Starting over the sick day but with Lena's POV"How ya feelin baby?"All Lena gave her was a groan. Lena doesn't get sick often, and the rare times she does, she of course never wants to show it - she doesn't need to be taken care of.She doesn't want to seem weak. The Luthor needs to hold her head up high, not in a stack of tissues. Being sick isn't an option for her, taking off from work isn't an option, and being taken care of like a damsel in distress really ticks her off.Years of trauma yet to be undone had been instilled into her, 'fake it till you make it', maybe it would start to feel real.....Flashback to Twelve - Year old Lena...."Just smile Lena, at least act like you're happy dammit." Lillian whisper yells while smiling. They are in New York for a family photo that needed to be taken to fill the front cover of Science magazine's addition on 'Biological genius'. Yet another accomplishment of hers being boiled down to being born with Luthor DNA.Lena was on the cusp of passing out. She was stuffed into a smaller than her actual size dress with long sleeves. What makes it worse is she has a fever of 101 and her lungs can't take the compression.'Luthors don't get sick, and if they do, no one needs to know'Later that day after the dress had to be practically peeled off from her sweat-slick skin, she got an earful from Lillian. Her brother snickering in the background as their mother pinched Lena raw.Not one apology was uttered when Lena had to be driven to the hospital for pneumonia."Don't be so damn dramatic, you made me miss my meeting."Lena was heavily medicated for the pain she had because she accidentally slipped down a few steps."Sorry Mother." No matter how much the child wanted to scream, she didn't because she knew that would end with her hands and feet raw."Luthors don't get sick, they don't show it. They definitely don't do this." The older woman waves her hands around the hospital room."It won't happen again Mother." Lena promises her mother and herself."If you want to be a Luthor, act as though you are one. I will not have you make me look unprofessional again." With that, her Mother leaves the room muttering under her breath about rescheduling with the investors.Some parts of Lena wished that the house workers never took her to the hospital. Maybe death would have been more peaceful, more savoury. And maybe her favourite worker wouldn't have been fired and blackballed from other housekeeping opportunities.From that day on, Lena learned, she learned a lot. How to be the proper Luthor. She wore dresses too tight as motivation to change. She was careful when walking with Lex down the stairs. When she does get sick, she remains in her room when she can and stays away from anything but a couple sips of water. She preened when Lillian patted her on the shoulder. Silently praising the little Luthor for smiling for their yearly Christmas card photos while battling with acute appendicitis.There is never a hair out of place, never a sneeze too loud, never a cough too full, never a time where she is resting when she has work to do. "Luthors are perfect, perfect people don't get sick, perfect people don't need help, perfect people are strong. Sick people are weak, Luthors are strong."....End Flashback....A lot has changed since the CEO was twelve. That being said, a lot has not, including the Luthors pride.Taking the news as being a little had been burdensome, not that anyone had noticed her caution towards it all. She was resigned to that fact, she knows there was no point in denying that there was a little side to her. And it was easy for her to get into that headspace when she had Kara and Maggie. Maggie being the catalyst to it all really. Lena isn't sure she will ever be able to articulate to the detective to let her know how much she has affected her in a good way.Though, since dropping, things have gotten a lot easier. Her ego has fallen almost to a flat line and she isn't embarrassed as easily anymore. She knows that Kara taking care of her is genuine and not out of girlfriend obligation. Lena appreciates that, more than she knows how to express.Some days though, days like today, her mind flits back to those moments. Flashes of pinches and burning palms leaving residual scars and mental engravings, it's hard to just shake that off.Today is one of the days where that fire is back and burning, she doesn't want to be taken care of. She doesn't need it, not really. Not when she has spent her entire life fighting the urge to whine and fall into warm arms. She can't just bulldoze her walls down. It's taken years to build them up, a bullet can bounce off of her. She doesn't need a shoulder to lean on. But it doesn't matter what she needs.Kara's voice rings in her head, "what do you want?""I'm a Luthor, I don't need help, I'm fine." Lena goes to sit up, her movements sluggish and her voice raspy.Kara's brows furrow. She can tell that her girlfriend is a bit out of it and Kara knows that she will have a hard time convincing Lena that being taken care of isn't a bad thing, least of all a weakness."Baby, you being a Luthor and being taken care of are not mutually exclusive." They have had this talk plenty of times, especially at the beginning of their relationship. When Kara finally thinks her words have stuck, Lena regresses into her old ways."Lena, can you lie back down for me please?" Lena scowls.Kara can faintly hear the crackling in her lungs, but didn't pay attention too much.Lena snaps "I'm fine Kara, I don't need help."Kara knows that when her girlfriend is sick she is rather irritable, but that doesn't mean she deserves the snapping.Kara raises her brow as if she were Lena, looking pointedly at the smaller woman.Lena doesn't relent her protest, she crosses her arms in offence.Kara nods her head softly, thinking of her next move - Then it clicks. "Here is what's gonna happen."The Luthors head rises from her chest and she is about to interject but is stopped by Kara raising a finger."No, you are going to listen right now, It's my turn to talk." The blonde shuffles closer to the Luthor and grabs her hand to stand her up."We are going to go into the bathroom, you are going to pee and then we are going to have a bath." The Kryptonian sets the girl on the toilet, once she supports herself, Kara goes to fill the tub. "After I scrub you clean, you are gonna go back into bed and I will bring you some medicine. You will have a bit to eat, as much as you can take and then we are gonna watch a movie under the covers. You'll say you aren't tired but your cheeks will flush and your eyes will flutter."Lena blushes while finishing on the toilet, scowl tampering down and arms uncrossed."Then I'm gonna rub your scalp till your eyes finally stay closed and I'll wait till you fall asleep to tuck you in the proper way." Kara strips Lena of her clothes and sets her down in the bath. The reporter doesn't take too long to set herself behind the Luthor."There is no debate on this little one. I know you don't want to be taken care of, but I like doing it. I want to show that it's ok to be vulnerable. I'm here for you, always." Kara doesn't say anything when tears are spilt, all she does is wipe them away with the tip of her thumb."I'm not like them Lena. I love you, I really do."After a while of sitting, Kara washes them both off. The rest of the bath was filled with kara singing and Lena loved it silently.The Luthor is set on the bed, wrapped in a towel waiting for Kara to get back to her with her clothes.Lena fights more tears, she doesn't know why she wants to cry again. It's not out of frustration or sadness, not even anger but she can't pinpoint it and that makes her want to cry even more."'M sorry." Lena says as soon as she could see Kara return with her clothes."I know you are, and I forgive you. I don't appreciate being spoken to or looked at like that. I know your brain is all over the place, we will try to handle it better next time, kay?"Lena nods her head and goes for a hug. Kara dresses her once they depart, and true to her word - They both eat and they settle in to watch a movie.Somewhere in between changing into her clothes and the middle of the movie, Lena can't tell, the girl feels different. Lighter maybe, still with this indescribable residual urge to whine and cry. She's tired, bone tired.She tries to shuffle closer to Kara but she can't seem to feel enough of her and that makes her whine out loud.Kara giggles, "Love, you're as close to me as you can get." A little earlier Alex came to Lena for her treatment to get her lungs back to one hundred per cent, it will take a couple treatments to see a noticeable difference but it is promising."Closer," Lena can't describe what she needs but she knows she needs it now. Everything is all so overwhelming and she wants to crawl on top of Kara and just feel her.Kara worries her bottom lip. She powers through her thoughts and does what she thinks is best, taking care of her fussy baby. "Alright, I've got you, I've got you."Kara lays the girl on top of her, pulling her blouse down just enough for her littles one's cheek to rest on her chest. She rubs up and down her back, trying to calm the girl's cries."I'm right here little star. All of these big feelings must not feel too good." It makes the girl on her shake her head vigorously, her nose is shoved in the crook of the blonde's neck."But I've got you, I'm here if you need me, always and forever. It's ok to not be ok."It takes a while but the tears dry and the little is out. Mouth stuffed with her two fingers and the other hand wrapped around Kara's neck.Kara hates when Lena gets sick. It's a toss-up of which Lena gets. But Kara will take whichever one because she knows it will always end up like this. They both snuggled up soaking in all the extra time together, all the extra love.