Buttering Up

Cacao Ghee here outside the exclusive Luminous Sports Resort on Europa!

Founded in 3167, the LSR has always been laser-focused on providing the most bleeding-edge experiences in gravity, zero-gravity, and virtual sports.

Today you can follow along with yours truly as we approach our semi-exclusive interview with the Eighth Paragon of Humanity, Arin Firenze!

Here they have everything! From androids who can customize even the most minute adjustments to one's nutrient cycles, to state-of-the-art, weather-controlled spaces for all sports and conditions, the LSR is synonymous with the best quality science can provide!

With a waiting list that's three years long, only the very best-performing athletes can enter the premises, which is guarded at all times by the ESPAF, who are now approaching our van!

You there! Hands in the air!

Commercial. Commercial!

>We'll Be Right Back!<

*

"The hell is a semi-exclusive interview?" Arin asked as she wolfed down a greasy, well-made burger with fries and a milkshake.

"It means she'll be the only one in the room, but other networks will be on her feed and will get some portion to ask questions," Cherry explained. "Through her."

"So does that make her a communications psion or a cyborg?" The distinction was mostly arbitrary. Everyone was a cyborg, the big difference was using psychic energy or electricity to power one's tech. And as a magneto kinetic, Arin could use both.

"The latter."

"I'm guessing they took out part of her brain, given how she's covered me in the past," Arin said bitterly before she took another bite, enjoying the feel of the meat and the rich umami flavor that flowed its way down her scratchy tongue.

"I don't know why she's a cyborg. Just be diplomatic. We don't need another Snake Incident. She's running late enough as-is."

"Might have something to do with all the soldiers running around," Arin chuckled. Then she dipped a crinkle-cut spice and rosemary-flavored fry into her milkshake and ate it.

It wasn't bad with the vanilla, but the rosemary slightly ruined the mix.

"You're disgusting," Cherry sneered.

"Don't knock it until you try it... just not with these fries. It's better without the rosemary."

"Why do you like rosemary so much?"

"My mom's name was Rose," Arin shrugged.

"Was?"

"She's dead. My mother's dead too. Have been since I was five."

"Oh..."

"Don't worry about it."

Across the five years they'd known each other, Arin had never once mentioned her parents. Maybe it was the upcoming fight with Paragon X that had her rattled...

An awkward silence stretched between them.

It was interrupted by a familiar figure, who cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, ah, ladies," Lieutenant Daniels, ESPAF athlete extraordinaire said.

"Danny Boy! What are you doing here?" Arin smiled, licking up a milkshake mustache.

"I told you I'm ESPAF. I'm actually in the mech corps... my CO thought I could use a vacation and pull in some pay at the same time."

Arin barely heard his response as Cherry grew peeved. "Don't you listen to my briefings? This guy can walk a mech manually."

"He didn't have a mech during the match!"

"That's because you broke his power armor in the first quarter!"

"See! It wasn't relevant then!"

Danny Boy cleared his throat again. "Ladies, if you would, it'll take a bit of time to get to the interview room with your... retinue."

He was referring to the twenty power-suited agents and the (probably) eighty plain-clothes undercover ones that presently occupied the dining hall. No matter the era, for as long as humanity had things to capture images, the armor of a government agent was a cheap suit and sunglasses.

Getting up, Arin asked if she could get her burger to go, for which the chef behind the counter immediately met her need with a small box.

"Thank you for dining in Hawthorne Hall, miss Paragon," the shark demihuman said.

Twenty minutes later, Arin stepped into the interview room.

"Miss Firenze! Cacao Ghee, it's such a pleasure to meet you at last!"

"We met on the netsphere six months ago," Arin scowled, completely aware that Cacao was streaming thanks to the little red dot on her left eye.

"Now, now," Cacao said, "Meeting online hardly counts." She angled her body and gestured at the two-seater table which had two flowering ferns on either side.

"I'm going to keep eating if it's all the same to you," Arin said as soon as she sat down, opening her box and enjoying the heat on her lap as she ate a french fry.

"Of course." Judging by the way Cacao's eye twitched, she knew Arin was trying to rile her up. Thankfully she didn't take the bait, because Arin was still hungry.

It's her fault for calling me an "unskilled wannabe."

"Let's begin..."

After her introductory spiel and a light amount of small talk, Cacao got down to the real questions.

"Miss Firenze, it's been a week since your victory in the Paragon Games. How do you view your role as humanity's Eighth Paragon?"

Arin made a show of thinking as she chewed. "I mean, I'm here to win. Nothing else matters, right?"

"How very zen," Cacao smiled. "Ownership of Lyra and its population of five-hundred million humans is at stake. Don't you feel any pressure, knowing the fate of humanity lies in your paws? Is there anything you would say to the people of Lyra?"

"Hands."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a cait sith human, not a cat. Means I have hands... and claws." Arin grinned mischievously.

"I apologize... you still haven't answered my questions."

"Either I'll win or I won't. My focus is on beating my opponents into the ground. Starting with Paragon X. The people of Lyra shouldn't worry over my winning or not. Those that want to assimilate with the Zyr should just get on with it, and those that want to remain independent should keep living their lives."

It's fate. It has to be.

"Another zen answer."

Does this woman know what zen means?

"Now, you were recently the subject of an assassination attempt by parties unknown... Do you have any idea who may have done so? Perhaps an internal enemy like the Human Servicers Front or some other alien worshipers?"

Arin frowned. "I don't speculate on who tries to kill or sabotage me. I already had some of that before the finals, and if the cowards won't face me up front, then that just means I got to kick their asses harder."

"You mean during the Paragon Games."

"Yeah. And I'll do the same for any Warsport."

"Oooh, firey. Now, onto a more personal question, people call you AK-47. How did you get nicknamed after the deadliest small arms in human history?"

"I dunno. Me and guns don't really get along unless they're made of polymer or synthwood."

"Does it have anything to do with this video of you eating an entire conveyor belt of pierogies in Moscow?" A still-capture came into the feed of Arin with her face laying across a conveyor belt, snatching the little dumplings off their little plates as they passed under her.

Who the hell recorded that?! Arin purposely did not scream.

It was right after the Jupiter National Qualifiers and she'd been so hungry after having to fly to Earth. She just couldn't be bothered to grab every little plate even though that was how they tabulated her bill...

"Your guess is as good as mine, hehe..." Arin's ear twitched as she heard Cherry sigh with relief at her "diplomatic" answer.

"Are you looking forward to your first match? As I explain in my previous stream, as the challenger with the most to gain, the Human Polity has taken their right to host the games here, at the LSR."

In the end, the interview took only two hours but felt like a whole day by the time Arin left.

As she left the room, however, she caught a flash of pink in the distance.

No way...

Ditching her retinue before they could exit behind her, Arin floated her way over one of the many ponds in the resort, landing on the other side.

"Hello again Miss Summers. I didn't know you were in the ESPAF."

The woman turned. "Who's Ms. Summers? I'm clearly..." she looked down at her name tag "...Major Major M. Major. The 'M' stands for Major, too."

"Where the hell do you come up with these names?"

"English lit, netshare RPGs, and a lifetime of horrible puns from my fathers. Twice the dads mean twice the dad jokes."

Arin found herself laughing. "I hear that."

"Oops, looks like your manager spotted us. Sorry streamers, but it looks like SIS needs to avoid a chase sequence!"

As she speed-walked away, Arin called out after her, "See you around?"

She didn't get a response, but Arin smiled all the same.

Arin's guards caught up before Cherry rounded on her. "Honestly, I lose sight of you for one second and you're chasing tail again."

"Why would I chase tail? I already have one," Arin teased.

"Then use it and stop messing around."

"Gross."

"I'm serious, Arin! Humanity can't aff- I don't want to see you die for over honey-pot assassin!"

"She wasn't an assassin!"

"Who was she?"

Arin almost gave up Autumn's name, just because Cherry had met her before. "She's a Major. In the ESPAF. At least today..." She trailed off as her eyes were drawn to a figure watching from above.

Four stories above the group, Paragon X waited, one bone-sheathed hand gripping the railing as they stared down at Arin through a mask that covered their entire head and seemed fused with their Paragon armor. Every accessory they wore was made of bone or the hide of some different species. Rumor had it that they wore part of each Paragon they'd killed, but Arin recognized the jawbone of a Frexian nurna, and the horns of an Earth rhino.

Across her eyes, a message suddenly began to scroll itself onto her vision.

A mech has been hacked. Get to safety.

A moment later, the lights went red as, from above, a massive, hulking, bird-like mech shattered its way through thirty layers of reinforced glass, transparent aluminum, and Skysim screen.

Almost as one, every agent protecting Arin started to fire on the mech with their standard-issue lasguns.

Against a mech built for actual war, they might as well have tried burning it with a magnifying glass.

"Shit." The mech was looking right at her. Before it could open fire on not only her but Cherry and the guards, Arin did the only thing she could think of...

She ran away from all of them, taking the sudden hail of laser and bullet fire with her.