Episode 9

'That means I don't care about you at all, Escalante.'

Yeah. That's not tolerance. But why? Cassel kept going around in circles, like he was walking through a maze.

An illusion? An illusion? Seven, eight, nine, ten, and then eleven years old... Thinking back to the shy girl who had sent him countless gifts and letters, he concluded that it was also nonsense.

Weren't his blunt words and stiff expressions ultimately part of his shame? Unlike his behavior in front of him, his fiancee once used very affectionate language. That is, in writing.

Ines was always the one who would open her mouth and say boring words of sermonization or teaching, or words that ignored or looked down on him—and even then, she didn't open her mouth often, so it was hard to hear, but at least she could tell her true feelings through her letters.

Countless words of concern and worry for him. Words of affectionate blessing and expression of love. Passionate expressions to which he had no way of responding or affection to return… … .

At one point, Ines Ballestena liked him so much that it became tiresome. Obviously.

'...onetime?'

Cassel felt a sense of awkwardness in his thoughts.

No, I mean… all of this started to die down around the time they entered puberty.

It's puberty. Voices change, bodies change, and it's only natural for a man and a woman of such average height to feel awkward around each other. Of course, it was impossible for Cassel to have a hard time with girls when he was young, but Ines was always his exception.

At that time, it was awkward for both of us. It was natural that the distance between us grew. And at some point, she stopped even calling his name, and at some point… … .

Cassel muttered, burying his embarrassed face in his palm.

"Was it since then? Or before entering the military academy… … ."

There were so many times when things suddenly came to mind.

Ines was usually dark and rigid, so it was difficult to notice the change, but if you thought about it a little more carefully, you could tell the difference.

No. It was strange. Even after that, Ines's utmost sincerity toward him was well-known even in the social circles of Mendoza. Despite all the unfavorable looks toward her… … .

"…What is it? Escalante."

As soon as Ines entered the room, she found Cassel sitting far in front of her and asked.

At least I haven't used formal language since then... Cassel checked one thing while leaning his head back as if he was relaxed.

You shouldn't answer right away as if you were waiting for it. There's nothing more pointless than that.

He glanced at the dark navy dress Ines was wearing, the buttons stuffily buttoned up to her neck, and her black hair tied back so tightly that not a single strand fell out, just to save a few seconds.

Seriously, every time I see her, she looks far from being dressed up. Even this hasn't changed since she was little, but there's one thing that's different about this room.

A well-grown body that cannot be hidden even by clothes like that…

That alone was a ray of light to Cassel in their soon-to-be grave-like married life. Especially that chest… It was so convenient that even when he was thinking such trashy thoughts, he had a serious expression as if he was considering something serious. Not only was he handsome… … .

"…Why aren't you interested?"

Contrary to his seemingly relaxed attitude, the main point came straight out of Cassel's chiseled mouth.

Ines, who had been washing her hands with her back to him as if she had completely forgotten about Cassel's existence, sighed without even looking back at him.

"Ines."

"Why on earth do you wonder about that?"

"Why aren't you interested?"

She washed her hands calmly despite the subsequent questions. Her compulsive hand-washing habit remains the same now as it was then.

Cassel decided to be more calm, so he waited quietly for it.

"That doesn't mean anything."

Finally, Ines turned around, wiping her hands. Rather than the simple answer she gave, Cassel flinched at the rare glare in her eyes.

As if it were an old habit, he was momentarily discouraged. But he was no longer the boy he had been, and was a sturdy officer in his third year of service. Cassel got up.

"That's not a sufficient answer."

"Whether you think about it enough or not is not really my concern… ."

"Ines Ballestena."

For a moment, she showed an expression that seemed as if she was too annoyed and bothered to know what to do, but then she straightened up her expression.

"I said that to make you feel comfortable."

"…that is?"

"I told her it was okay because I already knew, that she didn't have to worry about me, that she didn't have to explain herself, and that she could do whatever she wanted."

"… … ."

"Is there anything you are lacking here?"

Cassel frowned her beautiful eyes. There was a brief silence after that.

He muttered as if he had suddenly come to a realization.

"Yeah. You're angry."

"… … ."

"That's why I was being sarcastic."

"…When did I?"

No matter how much I thought about it, this was the only reasonable answer.

"If not, then I forced myself to say things you didn't mean."

"What's so unreasonable?"

"You say it's not tolerance, but it's actually tolerance. And in fact, it's not even tolerance."

Ines's neat expression became slightly clouded. It was obvious that she wanted to ask what the hell she was talking about, but Cassel interpreted the expression in his own way and continued.

"Ines Ballestena, you tend to place too much importance on dignity. So being jealous, being attached, hitting me and getting angry are all uncomfortable for you."

"at all."

"If not, then maybe, you were just watching my every move… ."

How many poor noblewomen are there who are seething with anger over their spouse's infidelity but cannot show it because they are too concerned about their husband's feelings? Of course, they were not each other's spouses yet, but they would soon be. Furthermore, Ines liked him unilaterally, or rather, liked him… … .

However, Cassel realized immediately that his words were nonsense, so he discarded them without finishing his speech.

Who is watching who?... Ines snorted as if she had read that realization.

"Even if I think about it myself, it doesn't seem to make sense."

"huh."

"Whatever it is, Escalante, what does this matter?"

"… … ."

"If someone saw me, they'd think I had a boyfriend."

"...there is?"

"Does that matter?"

Cassel forced himself to stop nodding his head, which was almost nodding unconsciously. Ines let out a soft sigh.

"I am the flower of the wall that no one pays attention to, and the raven of Ballestena. As your cousin once said."

"… … The reason men don't target you is because you already have a fiancé who is incredibly handsome. And… ."

It was natural that she would not stand out since she always dressed like that, but sometimes she would stand out like a crow sitting among colorful birds.

So, with that body, those stupid nobles… Cassel opened his lips as if he was going to say more, but then closed them.

I couldn't stand in front of that noble face and talk about her chest and waistline like trash as the basis for my argument that 'I'm just too good looking, you're not that bad.'

"And the reason women target you so much is because, unlike you, my charm isn't that threatening."

"… … ."

"I know. And I don't really care… Escalante, really, really. If we have to interrogate each other, I should rather do it than you, but I really don't want to. It's too much trouble… and too tiring."

"… … ."

"It's useless between us."

"… … ."

"So stop this crazy thing of interrogating me just because I'm not interrogating and harassing you."

Ines shook her head and passed Cassel. He stared blankly at the spot where Ines had disappeared, then turned his head after a moment.

"So what you're saying is, between us."

"—You are a good man to marry."

It was something I had never heard before. Even the countless women who wanted to drive Ines out and marry him would not agree.

"I have no complaints about this marriage. Neither do you… There's no reason to ruin our relationship over such a trivial matter."

"… Is that trivial? That?"

Cassel took a moment to reflect on what he had done. Then he asked back.

"Are you broken somewhere?"

I mean, his head. He pointed to his head while she wasn't looking.

The more she talked—even though the other person said it was okay, she was begging for punishment, criticism, and beating, like a pervert, but Cassel was now increasingly worried about her. A good man to marry? A trivial matter… Unless she was wrong… … .

"My head is fine."

Cassel stopped when he saw Ines' face looking back. She seemed to sigh again, then approached Cassel.

"I know how to feel jealous. I know how to get angry. I'm good at being attached."

"…okay?"

"I'll probably get better at hitting, too. I just need to exercise a little more. I'm pretty good at most things."

In the midst of all this, he suddenly showed his pride. Cassel nodded.

"I see."

"But that's trivial. How much pain would it cause if I hit you with these hands?"

It wasn't anything trivial, considering the few times I'd touched it a dozen years ago, but it was still a delicate woman's hand. Cassel nodded again.

"So if you betray me, I will kill you."

"… Conclusion?"

It was an unbelievably brutal statement coming from Ines' mouth. Sometimes she says it's a minor issue, and then suddenly she says she'll kill me. Isn't there some kind of anger somewhere in between? It shouldn't be this extreme... .

While Cassel tilted his head in confusion for a moment, Ines grabbed his arm and licked her lips.

"That's what happens to a guy you like."

"… … ."

"Escalante. You know that I don't have a very good personality."

Just know that Ines' personality was not just bad, but bad enough. However, Cassel's consciousness was stopped at 'the man she liked'.

More precisely, 'to the man I like'.

"That's why I don't want to waste my energy on a guy I don't even like like you."

It was a confirmed kill.