Episode 15

Until marriage, and even after marriage… on the surface, deception, leaving each other alone, behind the scenes… … .

"…what are you doing behind my back?"

I have never heard such meaningful words in my life. I have been slapped in the face many times, saying things like I don't care what he does, I don't like him, he's not worth killing, and he's not worth meeting, but at least I've never heard words as meaningful as these.

So, what are you going to do behind my back?

No, that might be a bit of a leap, Cassel thought again.

I'll do it so you do it too?

No matter how I thought about it, there was no difference. Cassel squinted his eyes and sat up.

And then she went over to Ines, who was holding her teacup on the other side, and sat down at the table with her legs spread on either side of her short dress, as if to confine her, as if she would suddenly get up and run away if she didn't.

Ines, unfazed by her fiancé's strange behavior, took a few sips of tea, carefully placed her teacup on the table, and looked at him intently.

"Escalante, there is a separate place for people to sit."

"I'm already sitting down. I guess it's okay since I'm still human."

"Escalante, that's annoying."

"Not really me."

He closed his legs, which had been spread apart, so that her knees were touching each other between his legs.

Ines, completely trapped, just laughed without even struggling.

"Are you a kid?"

"Then your legs would be this long? Judging by length, you would be a child."

"How childish. In the middle of someone talking, all of a sudden…."

"Look back at what you said."

"I don't understand the problem."

"Do you think that makes sense?"

"Why doesn't that make sense?"

The face that asked was clean and clear. She really had an expression that didn't know English. The buttons that were neatly fastened all the way to the neck and the dark blue dress were no different from usual.

But Ines didn't seem the same as usual. She looked too pretty at the concert, and now... ... .

"… In the end, was it all because of your lover?"

"what?"

"Are you doing this to continue meeting that man?"

This explains everything. It's understandable that I've been silently watching his debaucherous behavior all this time, that I've been tolerating him to continue living however he wants, and that I'm now even talking about things after marriage… If it's for the sake of that man, I can understand it all.

Maybe it wasn't that man, but those men... ... Cassel finished his calculations calmly. That stuffy and demure shell was just a fake to deceive the world, and who knows how many men she had charmed with that white and pretty body? It wasn't unreasonable for them to secretly admire her and cling to her one after another.

Cassel, whose life was mocked by Ines in his dreams every night, could never ignore her power.

Yes, she has the body to do that. She has a self-centered personality, and speaks rudely to men… She could easily be swayed by anyone with just a few orders.

For some reason, my insides were seething. I couldn't show it because of my flawed behavior, but at least after marriage, it was a different matter.

"… I don't care who you've met so far. I know that it's none of my business and I don't deserve it."

"Is someone you know doing this?"

Ines calmly asked back, her words having finally been spoken seriously being meaningless. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Cassel grabbed Ines' wrist as she tried to sneak away, placed both hands on her knees, looked her in the eye again, and spoke.

"But that doesn't make sense. It's not some crazy idea that if I just live, you can live too… … ."

"That's roughly what I think."

"That's crazy."

"Of course it will be difficult to catch up with you."

His virtuous fiancée now looked like a prepared rascal. Cassel impatiently washed his face with the hand that wasn't holding her wrists.

"… I know you've been disappointed with my actions since I entered the military academy. I know that."

"You enrolled because you didn't want to marry me?"

Originally, it meant that he had started seeing women from that time, but Ines dug deeper.

They were originally supposed to get married six years ago.

She smiled as if her beautiful eyes were shaking.

"I know. Thanks to you, it was good."

"… … ."

"I was so happy that I actually ended up enlisting."

It wasn't his fault that it sounded like, 'It was annoying, but I'm glad I was able to get rid of it.' Cassel asked back with a fierce laugh as if he didn't want to give in.

"So you can enjoy secret meetings with your lovers?"

"There was nothing like that. Not even once."

It was an honest answer without any sign of hiding. The smile that had been hanging crookedly on Cassel's lips gradually straightened.

While he was letting his guard down, she spoke again coolly.

"I was just happy that the wedding was postponed indefinitely."

"… … ."

"It's not that I hate you, Escalante."

"You don't even like it."

"What does that mean to you?"

For a moment, he felt as if his breathing had been suffocated. What does it mean to you? Cassel wanted to ask.

Why has it become meaningless to you?

"I've never met a man like that. I don't have a face as great as yours, and I don't have any special charm."

No, it wasn't. It wasn't. I felt like I was going to turn around. Do you know how miserable a person I've become because of you? Do you know what I did while thinking of you? But I couldn't say anything that would come out properly.

If you know what's going on in his head, it wouldn't be surprising if he left Mendoza because of that obsessive-compulsive disorder.

"Is it wrong to think that I just want to make you more comfortable? The premise of 'mutual' is there to make you more comfortable. Of course, it's true that I also keep in mind the possibility that I will find a man I love someday… … ."

How dare you talk about the man of destiny with such a face that is neither blood nor tears. Cassel twisted his handsome lips and muttered inside his mouth.

"Rather than that, I just want you to be free."

"… … ."

"You were manipulated by me. You got engaged to someone you never wanted because of me, you became a young duke because of me, you spent nearly twenty years attending classes and serving, no, escorting, an undesirable fiancée, and you even sailed a fleet with your precious body, thinking that you would spend the rest of your life with a fiancée who wasn't very pretty, stiff, boring, and a nun. Just so you could live that life a little later."

"… … ."

"So, I will compensate you for your loss. I will not let this handsome face rot even a little."

A cheeky hand tapping his cheek like in the old days.

But it is still a face that is incomparably kind. The face of a meek fiancée who is willing to put aside all pride and dignity and make concessions for the sole purpose of her fiancé's convenience… … .

Concession, submission… Is that something that would be possible with that damned personality?

Words can't be everything. Cassel was convinced that it wasn't all. It was also suspicious that he was rambling on at length without being asked.

There is an ulterior motive. Clearly, there is an ulterior motive.

Cassel narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, bringing his face closer to hers. Ines continued speaking without blinking.

"Your childhood was tied to our marriage, but after we get married, everything will be different."

The distance of about two spans soon became about one and a half spans.

"You will be freer than before you got married."

A distance of about a span and a half is about a span.

"Me too, as your wife in name only."

A distance of about a span, a half span, a distance where our breaths become entangled.

Ines looked puzzled for the first time. It was an expression he had seen quite often in his dreams. Whenever she made that expression, he would always eat her.

"…I will do something that has nothing to do with you, just for a cause."

"You want to live without any relationship with your husband? Is that possible?"

"I'll do the bare minimum for you. I trust you to do that for me… Since I don't love you and you don't love me, we'll be a perfect couple. Aren't we? We'll only have children that are necessary for the family, and we won't care about each other's private lives, and there won't be any conflicts…"

Cassel swallowed the rest of her words. Ines opened her eyes wide, barely able to breathe, and when he gently pushed his tongue in, she let out a shaky breath through her open mouth. Everything was sudden. Perhaps, even for Cassel, who had impulsively given his fiancée her first kiss.

He sucked her full lower lip, making a lewd sound, and pulled her body closer. Her knees, which had been touching the side of his, came deep into his thighs.

More precisely, on his already firmly erected one.

If Ines, as he had observed for a long time, was a woman who was too indifferent to the world and could not help but be naive, he would not immediately realize the meaning. On the other hand, if his suspicions were true, he would realize it clearly.

And for the first time Cassel saw her face flush. She knew what it meant. He was right. For the first time he had broken her composure… For the first time he had made her feel bewildered and helpless.

But I never felt satisfied.

"… You said you were going to have a child, but you wouldn't do something like this with me?"

Who taught you this? He knew that he had no right to reprimand her. And yet… he lightly teased Ines' lips with his lips that had not completely fallen off, then pressed them down and fell off.

"I'm sorry, but you can't live without me. Ines Ballestena."

A cold emotion passed through his face as he smiled softly. He didn't care about the past, which he would never know anyway. However, the story of the future would be different.

"You will kiss me dozens of times, hundreds of times, and touch me thousands of times. I will not touch any woman other than you, and until you have children, and until you have the next child, and regardless of children, I will satisfy you and make you satisfy me."

"… … ."

"I don't need any of that dog-shit freedom or privacy you want to give me so badly. In the marriages I know, there's no such thing to begin with."

"… … ."

"I may be an asshole, but I'm more faithful than you think. Ines Balestena."