Episode 47

Ines glanced at Cassel, who was carefully escorting her without saying a word, then back to the front, then back at Cassel, her lips moving silently.

"…Forgive me if I got off topic."

It was Cassel who spoke first, despite her lips moving several times. Ines let out a sigh between her moving lips and then spoke.

"It could have been done even if that hadn't happened."

"I know, I thought you would say that."

His large hand, wrapped around her wrist, reached under her palm and entwined their fingers. Still, it felt more like support than a feeling of holding hands.

It's like building an ill-fitting foundation under a sand castle that could collapse at any moment.

"But there's no need to apologize. My family can be a bit of a mess sometimes… I'm the one who should be sorry. For making things uncomfortable from the morning on the day you had to return to your post."

"That's easy to say."

Cassel muttered in shock for a moment, then let out a low sigh.

"There's absolutely no reason for you to feel bad about being the one-sided recipient of verbal abuse, Ines."

"As far as verbal abuse…."

"A normal parent wouldn't make fun of their daughter like that. They wouldn't look down on her like that."

"… … ."

"I wouldn't ruin my daughter's reputation like that in front of the man she just married.

"My mother, despite all that, was excited about our marriage. If she had listened to the end, she would have said, 'Thank goodness it didn't turn out that way thanks to Escalante.'"

However, there weren't many moments when I wanted to hear the whole story, so Ines, who hadn't expected a grand farewell anyway, felt comfortable and happy with the current situation. As Cassel frowned silently, she added a little more placatingly.

"It doesn't happen often. It's not just me that does this… ."

"… … ."

"My father is mostly at Mentossa and my mother is mostly at Perez's manor, so it's rare for the whole family to clash like this. I don't mind—"

"—I saw your expression, Ines."

"My expression?"

"Where the dog is barking, I can tell just by looking at your closed ears. This kind of thing is so tiresome to you."

"… … ."

"Don't let your mother talk nonsense about you. Whether you're a ballestena or an Escalante… ."

He suddenly started to wash his face repeatedly with the hand that wasn't holding Ines's hand, as was his habit. Suddenly, deep furrows were visible under the hand that was resting on his forehead. Ines called out to him quietly.

"Kassel."

"… … Sorry, I'm sorry."

"what."

"I didn't mean to push you that hard."

"… Pushing me? What are you suddenly… ."

"… I acted like an animal. It's only natural that you're already tired of me after what happened last night."

"—So, all of a sudden, what the… ah… … ."

It was only a little too late that she realized what Cassel meant. Ines nodded slightly without answering.

Cassel seemed to have said something similar several times already. But by the time he got out of the bath and put on new clothes, he was so out of his mind that he probably couldn't even hear the pitch of Cassel's voice, much less what he was saying.

'But since you don't need it, ask me to rape you.'

'Rape?'

'—That's the only thing you've been saying. You want me to rape you. Without thinking about how you feel, without caring if you can accept me, you just want to fuck me, fuck me, piss me, and then leave me.'

'I agree with everything. That can't be rape.'

'You are really a wrong woman.'

Ines briefly pondered the nature of the guilt that rose clearly over Cassel's beautiful face.

Fragments of the blunt and sharp conversation from last night came to mind. The expression on his face that had changed so drastically when he mentioned the word 'rape.' That unfamiliar face...

"I was the one who treated you rudely. I had no right to talk to your mother like I was smart."

"You're not really…."

Ines chose her words carefully. You didn't rape me? That was too obvious, and not something you would say in the dreamy moments when a couple had just finished their wedding and were leaving the bride's house.

Whenever he felt a momentary sense of oppressive power, he also remembered the power that would quickly cool him down, like pouring cold water on a hot iron. He was more persistent than he could have imagined, but he kept his line toward Ines—or perhaps, his line toward his wife.

That is why she did not think that he had embraced her only out of lust. Perhaps that unpleasant conversation had stirred up some uncomfortable flames… … In any case, Cassel Escalante was part of the Imperial Navy, a man who could be considered the embodiment of duty, and despite his free-spirited playboy temperament, he was also full of soldierly spirit, and, as he said, he was a man who had unexpectedly good faith.

In his eyes, dulled by secret meetings with all sorts of beautiful women, how much desire could her body, which was far from perfect, have aroused? He simply expressed his sense of duty for the first ritual a little too enthusiastically.

"… You've never treated me rudely. Yesterday was just a night out, and we were just doing what we do as a married couple."

At Ines' light and affectionate response, Cassel's expression, which had been soaked in guilt, became a little subtle.

"'Things to do as a married couple.'"

"There's nothing I forced you to do—."

"—Do you remember what I was doing to you in the bathtub just two hours ago?"

It happened while I was half asleep, so my memory was already hazy, but it was clear that it was more than just a simple washing up.

Cassel added softly, leaning over Ines' shoulder.

"What did you do for me there?"

"… I don't remember doing anything great."

It was a lewd memory that I didn't want to recall on a clear morning like this, even though it happened only a couple of hours ago, but it wasn't something I wanted to recall very much either.

When Ines responded indifferently, Cassel suddenly twisted his mouth as if he was getting annoyed, but then a strange smile appeared.

"That's not a big deal?"

"Of course, I think I might have been lacking in something because I was too clumsy."

Although she had already suggested that they exclude pleasure from their relationship as much as possible, he had expressed his resistance by using extreme words, so Ines quickly gave up on that idea and instead made some effort.

You don't want to make the other person completely satisfied—or you don't want to end up liking the relationship—so you don't act too passively and delay things for no reason.

And even in her dim memories, she was convinced that she had kept that middle ground very well.

"You weren't clumsy. Not at all."

Cassel let out a laugh, his confidence slightly shaken.

"It was too much to be lacking. You were too good, Ines."

"… … ."

"You climbed on top of me in the water. Of course, it wasn't a big deal that you spread your legs on top of me, and it wasn't a big deal that you shook your hips. It wasn't a big deal that you shoved mine inside of you, on your own…"

"… … ."

And then the vague memories began to shake together.

"It wasn't a big deal that you squeezed me until the very end and then threw me away as if you were annoyed. Isn't it?"

"This isn't a conversation to be had outside of your bedroom, Cassel."

"We just did what we had to do as a couple. We're talking as a couple right now."

"Where are you looking—"

"From the early hours of the night until the break of dawn, even if we roll around covered in semen, it's just our duty as a married couple."

"…What are you trying to say?"

"The duties of a couple are over in ten minutes. Our first night together lasted less than ten hours."

"… … ."

"We have already gone above and beyond our duty, Ines Escalante."

Ines's body stumbled as she entered the stairs. Cassel wrapped one arm tightly around her waist and held her close to his body, helping her take each step slowly, but then he suddenly jumped up as if he couldn't leave her alone.

To those who didn't know the situation, it would seem as if she had suffered a serious injury. Ines seemed conscious of the eyes of her employees, and couldn't bring herself to push him away, so she whispered with an ambiguous smile.

"… I hate this kind of thing. Get down."

"I don't like it."

"Give it to me."

"Hmm."

"Kassel."

"I guess you learned that calling people by their names helps."

"It doesn't seem to be of much help so far."

"ruler."

He spoke as if he was following Ines' orders, only after he had come all the way down the stairs and put her down.

The flushed faces of the young employees and the blushing faces of the attendants in front of the bridal chamber came to mind again. The report that the couple's love was excessive... ... Ines's face, which was weak-skinned, slightly distorted as she could not bear the embarrassment.

That report was the reason why her mother was so excited and happy that she attacked her. When her mother was unhappy, she attacked those around her, and when she was too happy, she would go around and attack those around her again. That was her illness. She would harass those around her, push them away, and couldn't stand being happy herself… Then, she would feel victimized by the fact that everyone she loved was distancing themselves from her and rejecting her, and she would fall into self-pity. She was good at falling into self-pity. When Luciano got married soon, she would definitely try to break his spirit.

Ines swallowed a sigh and walked ahead. But her arm was quickly grabbed gently, and Cassel's escort followed her like a courtier.

We have already… … . A low and deep voice resonating like a cave wandered through her consciousness like a rope tightly binding her body.

Because of that, he couldn't even ask her in the carriage why she had suddenly left for Kassel's post at Calstera. Firstly, it was because he hadn't even thought of it, and secondly, he was too busy falling asleep on his lap.