12. Gathering My Gems

Wednesday, November 22, 2023

"Aur kya?... Pucho, kab puchoge? Phir booking wagairah bhi karni padegi na?" Maa advised.

"Theek hai, chalo, I'll start asking."

With only a week left until my eighteenth birthday, I clung to the belief that maturity doesn't mean stopping your excitement for birthdays. I was genuinely thrilled for this one. I'd already told Maa and Papa that I'd be spending it with my friends, hoping all the people I was counting on would actually show up this time.

I mentally ticked off my guest list, counting on my fingers: Vansh, sushant, ramesh, Kavya, Arjun… And of course, Sanjana J and Naira, who had recently become good friends, and Lea, a nice friend I'd made in no time at all. I wanted each one of them to be there.

Keeping my excitement in check, I texted only Kayz, Vansh, Sushant, and Ramesh. And in no time I received an early blow. Vansh had to attend his sister's engagement on the same day. Kavya explained that her hand was swollen and she was undergoing therapy; she'd confirm later if she could make it. Sushant said yes, though he warned me not to expect too much, while Ramesh's reply was a blunt, "Depends."

"I guess asking four people in one day was too much," my sixth sense mocked me, as none of them had given a truly positive response.

____________________________________________________________________________

Ramesh was the first to say yes, which was a huge relief—his presence mattered to me on my birthday. I managed to stay patient all Thursday, resisting the urge to reach out to anyone else. This would've lasted through Friday, but by that night, I ended up asking Lea. She was exhausted from rewriting her entire physics and chemistry journals because she'd used pencil before, and she'd also lost her math practical book and had to buy a new one. I waited until we'd wrapped up our college practical discussion, then quickly asked her.

[11/24/2023, 22:10]

Me: Btw… Wed ko free hai?

Lea: Kyun, kya hua?

Me: Are, mera bday hai. Aur tu aa rahi hai, bas. Baat khatam. Ab main kuch nahi jaanta.

Lea: Oh, yaa.

 Kidhar?

Me: Jagah not fixed. Tujhe aur sushant dono ko aana hoga... Tum dono aaoge toh kasam se, sach me bohot acha lagega mujhe.

Lea: I'll see, bhai. Abhi meri maa thoda meko isolate kar rahi hai… sushant ka, I don't think possible hoga. His dad won't allow it.

By then, I'd already considered it a "no" from sushant since he hadn't been cLear about attending.

Me: I always knew his chances were really low.

Lea: Are actually, to be honest, mera bhi bahar jaana bohot kam ho gaya hai recently cuz, you know, exams and all are close. So like, my mom is kinda isolating me.

Me: That's fine.

Lea: The Least I can do is seek permission, but baki unpe depend hai.

Me: Mere bday pe kabhi koi free nahi rehta hai.

I ended the conversation by confronting a bitter truth: "Kisi ke paas time nahi hota. Sab apne-apne mein rehta hai." Maa had reminded me of this last year as well.

"It's okay, mate. Still four people left."

____________________________________________________________________________

Saturday, November 25, 2023

Sanjana J, you seriously made my day.

Sanjana J had replied to my text while I was asleep. I'd reminded her about the college journal submission deadline, which was the next day.

[11/24, 23:18]

Sanjana 3: bhai mera kal tak nahi hoga shayad

 maut aa rahi hai.

 College ka kuch aur toh

 ghar pe kuch aur hi chal raha hai.

I was surprised to see she still hadn't finished.

[11/25, 04:54]

Me: Yaar, sach me pehle kar lena chahiye tha… how much is left?

"So something happened to her for the third time..", my sixth sense stated. I opened whatsapp and wrote a long text,not thinking even once before sending the text and mentioning her statements in bold,I tapped the send button.

[11/25, 05:02]

Me: .No offence but nothing new here 

 When I told u to do sumit sir hw

 *Mai hw karne hi bethi thi and then something happened and my night was terrible 

 due to personal reasons toh mai so gayi*

 When I told u to do college work during vacations 

 *i was supposed to but unfortunately beech mai kuch ho gaya*

 And now when i told u to get things done quickly toh

 *college ka kuch aur toh ghar pe kuch aur hi chalra hai.'

Wait! Did I say too much? Oh God! Why do I have to taunt people so much? Ugh. What if she feels bad? What if my comment actually hurts her? She's already struggling with those endless practicals, tutorials, projects… something's definitely going on with her, and here I am, judging her in the middle of it all.

Should I apologize? Should I delete the message? Maybe edit it to say something else? Every time she's mentioned something personal, my only response has been, "That's none of my business," which, in hindsight, was a pretty awful reply. Should I ask her what's going on at home? But why would she open up to me about her problems? I barely know her beyond reminders about homework and orals. Every conversation we've had has been about college and studies. She isn't close to me—she has her own friends who, I'm sure, would support her through this.

My overthinking mind had already run a mile ahead.

After about seven minutes of overthinking, I typed a carefully worded, explanatory message to follow up on my previous one. I read it over multiple times, making sure there wasn't a single word that could come across as offensive. Finally, satisfied, I hit "send."

[05:10] 

Me: I mean m no one to comment on on ur problems... (Mai toh tuje theek se jaanta bhi nhi hu)

 But are they not causing problems for u?..

  Itne din se Ghar pe kalam ghise ja rhi ho

Even after reading the text four or five times before sending, I still didn't notice I'd written the word "on" twice. Ironically, I only realized it now, while writing about it in my book.

"You can wait now. She's not gonna text before afternoon," my sixth sense muttered.

Meanwhile, ramesh had only his EVS project left to complete. He was the only one who'd confirmed 100% for my party so far, and he seemed surprised to hear that neither Rohan nor Parth would be joining this time. Rohan had his pre-boards, and Parth—who I'd invited last year when we were good friends—wasn't on the list this time.

ramesh: Tu bata de confirm karke.

 Hai ya nahi??..

"I am still left with Sanjana J and Naira to ask.", I was typing my reply when a thought suddenly striked my mind.

"Sanjana J mentioned something going on at home, which probably means she's feeling disturbed, frustrated, or worried. Does that mean she won't be able to make it to my party? So...is there no point in even asking her?"

"People always have their own problems and responsibilities to manage. They only free up their schedules if attending something is truly important to them. If Sanjana isn't feeling well, she'll prioritize her condition, Tanish," my sixth sense chimed in.

"No Sanjana J means no Naira…"

"Exactly. Sanjana would be the only girl left with ramesh, which could stop her from coming too."

Deciding not to dwell on it any further, I got up from my study table and prepared to head to college. Realizing I was running late, my dad dropped me off at Khandpur station, where I got a call from Lea while standing at the ticket counter. She asked me when the next bus would arrive at Shilp Chowk, which was unusual since she typically came to college with Suniti in a cab.

A second call from her came when I was in the physics lab, finishing up an incomplete tutorial. Lea recounted the morning's chaos—how Suniti had overslept, how Lea had gotten frustrated with her for arriving at the wrong bus stop, and how she'd ended up having to wake her mom to get a ride. It was through this conversation that I realized we both valued discipline and timeliness.

Our conversation was cut short when the chemistry teacher scolded us for chatting, so I set aside my tutorial, and we left the lab. As we went downstairs, she invited me to join her and her mother, but I told her I planned to stop by Khandpur station for a quick bite before heading back to the academy.

It wasn't until we reached the entrance that I realized Lea's mom was waiting nearby. She stood as we approached, and I greeted her with a respectful "Namaste."

As we walked toward the auto stand, she asked,

"Beta, ho gaya submission?"

"Ji bilkul, aunty ji. Sab ho gaya," I replied in my politest tone.

In the auto, Lea's mother talked about a variety of things, with the biggest focus on the pending computer science syllabus. I thought it was at Least reassuring that she knew what was still left to cover. As we neared Nerul station, I reached for my wallet to pay the driver, but she stopped me. I insisted on paying for my own fare, but she firmly declined and covered the cost for all three of us. Later, at Khandpur station, we had a samosa, and again, her mother wouldn't let me pay for myself.

As Lea had mentioned, her mother could "turn into a Hitler" in an instant. She certainly seemed strong-willed and assertive, qualities that aligned with her interest in politics. Yet, she was also deeply kind; Lea had told me that her mother didn't like it when children paid for themselves.

Meanwhile, Sanjana J had seen my text at around ten, nearly five hours after I'd sent it. I was staring at our chat, hoping for a reply, but quickly realized none was coming. She left my message on read—disappointing, though not entirely unexpected. I couldn't help but wonder what she thought after reading my overly explanatory and somewhat judgmental texts. Did they upset her? Was she angry?

At 10:04, I followed up with another message:

"College gyi?"

In our physical chemistry lecture with Suman ma'am, I was seated on the second bench next to Kavya. Naira sat behind me, still unsure whether Sanjana J would attend the class.

"Uska college ka likh ke abhi tak nahi hua," I explained, guessing why Sanjana J might be absent. "So maybe she's still dealing with it."

"There are two reasons she might not be here today: one, the college work she's caught up in, and the other… I can't tell you," Naira said, her expression shifting as she hinted at something else.

It became cLear that Sanjana J had her friends who understood her situation and could likely help her through it. I hadn't ever been lucky enough to sit next to Naira, as she usually chose the third or fourth bench depending on the classroom setup.

At exactly 12:32, Sanjana J finally replied.

Sanjana J: nahi

Me: Oh..

I reacted with a simple "Oh" and left it there. It seemed she chose to ignore the part where I'd judged her, which was honestly a relief. She was still busy with college work, caught up in the endless cycle of practicals and tutorials. Lea, ramesh, and I were among the first to submit our work, yet each time, the submission date seemed to extend by another day or two. The next official date was now Wednesday, November 29, as Paramjeet and Krish had mentioned, since they planned to submit on that day. I wanted to pass this information along to Sanjana J so she'd have enough time to finish before then.

I began typing, but as I reached the date, a thought stopped me.

"Dude, 29th is the final date," my inner voice reminded me.

"Oh no…" I muttered.

"And you're not even sure if you'll invite her to the party, given whatever's happening in her life."

"But I want her to be free from college work before the 29th. What if she actually agrees to come, only to say she has to go to college that day?"

"Bhai, submission date is 29th," my instincts insisted.

"I'll just say it's due on the 28th instead," I decided.

"And start another fight?"

"No, I'll simply tell her the last date is the 28th. Subtle, simple."

Five minutes after my initial reaction, I sent her the text, letting her know about the upcoming submission date.

[12:44]

Me : Btw paramjeet ne baat ki thi mam se he said wo ig 28th ko jayega college ...toh even u can ask mam if she allows…

She replied the very next minute,which was unusual of her.

Sanjana 3: ruchi maam?

Me: Ye nhi pata yr dekh le ek baar

Sanjana 3: okay

  head toh vohi hai na she sends all the msgs on the group

Me: Ha usko puch le

Sanjana 3: bheja msg

Me: Let's see

"Tanish…mam can see your phone cLearly," Naira warned from behind. She may have even noticed I was texting her best friend. It wasn't easy to type with just my thumb during a lecture, and I was at serious risk of getting caught. But despite Naira's warning, I couldn't resist—I opened WhatsApp to check Sanjana J's latest message.

Sanjana 3: tuesday ko bulaya hai

Me: As I said ,28th

"Wait, what?! The 28th is actually the next submission date?" I muttered to myself, relieVansh that my little white lie had turned out to be true after all.

"Mobile bag me rakh do beta... bag me rakho mobile," Suman ma'am finally asked, prompting me to switch off my phone and stash it in my bag.

We got a break at a quarter to two, and only then could I check my phone. Sanjana J's last message was a simple "Thank you." I replied with my usual line whenever someone thanked me:

Me: Enjoy karo, mate. Aur practicals, everything, complete kar lo.

As I headed toward Neelkanth for a quick bite, I was still working on phrasing my apology message. "Make it sincere, but keep it light," I reminded myself over and over. At the staircase, I tagged the morning's message and added my apology just before buying a vada pav since I wasn't all that hungry.

Me: (tagging my previous message) And I'm really sorry if this offended you in any way… as I said, I don't even know you.

While heading back to the academy, I re-read my message, realizing that the last line felt unnecessary. I could almost hear myself saying, "It's better without it." So I edited it once more, keeping it simpler.

13:57

Me: (tagging the morning's message) And I'm really sorry if this offended you in any way…

Back home, I waited for her reply, eventually dozing off. Her response finally came about three and a half hours later, just as Mom shouted, "Do ghante so liye, aur kitna soyoge?!"

The first thing I did upon waking was grab my phone, connect it to Wi-Fi, and stare at the WhatsApp logo, waiting for the notification badge to appear. When the count showed four new messages, I quickly opened it, and at the top of the list was Sanjana J's contact. Ignoring all the other chats, I tapped her name.

[17:20]

Sanjana 3: you've helped me a lot tanish and im really grateful honestly, you have a right to judge me if i haven't done something you've helped me so much for. so a little judgement from you won't hurt me its okay

...

"I see someone can't stop smiling," my sixth sense teased.

"Obviously, it felt amazing."

For the first time since I started helping people, someone genuinely appreciated my efforts. Sanjana had that rare gift of kindness—a generosity humans seem to have lost over the years. I recalled how, in school, people often took advantage of my helpful nature, getting me to complete tasks for them without so much as a 'thank you.' And here was someone who truly valued and acknowledged my help.

....

"Sanjana J,

You seriously made my day."

17:57

Me:  Are chalta hai yaar ..

I was still smiling as I began typing my reply. For the first time that day, I was able to send her a message without needing to edit it.

Me:I apologized there because mai tujhe zyada theek se nahi jaanta isliye I have been 

 always very respectful to u...toh I felt waha thoda zyada suna diya 

U just complete everything and free hoja i love it when ppl around me are happy and 

tension free...

ek ka bhi problem mujhe apna problem dikhta hai..ramesh ka aaj subah hi hua toh uska bhi 

mai update leta raha ki how much is left how much is left .

The entire day, I kept reflecting on how much worse it could have been if my judgy texts had affected her mood in any way. Every time she confided in me about something that had happened, I carelessly responded that it was none of my business. In a way, I felt a twisted pride in that—after all, I had never been one to meddle in others' lives; I always minded my own business. Perhaps that was because I wasn't emotionally attached to anyone back then.

"People seek for comfort Tanish,rather than saying that's none of my business..even though 'The Sanjana J' is your nothing or you don't know her…that doesn't matter at that point of time..but as a person you should comfort her with soft spoken words saying it's gonna be fine…that's what people seek…emotional support is a thing every human is desperate for and trust me no matter in how worse situation the person is,they do feel a bit better."

 - by the one whose every spoken word unfolded its depth and meaning as time went by..."

____________________________________________________________________________

"I'll ask a few more people and let you know by tomorrow morning," I told Maa as I finally decided that, along with Sanjana J and Naira, I would also ask Arjun and Shaurya.

"Think about it, bhai… four people in one day? Again?"

"Bhai, just calm down for a minute. Let me handle this the way I think is best."

Shaurya was the first person I approached that day.

I asked him if he had any plans for Wednesday, to which he replied that he didn't. I told him it was my birthday and invited him to come. When he asked where the venue would be, I assured him I would figure it out and let him know by tomorrow. I expressed that it would mean a lot to me if he could make it. He said he'd check with his parents and get back to me, so I told him it would be great if he could let me know by this evening. I wrapped up the conversation by saying I'd finalize the place.

And then Arjun made my afternoon…

I greeted Arjun by calling him "chote mamu" and asked him the same question he replied that he didn't have any plans for wednesday. Oo I let him know it was my birthday and invited him to come. He was enthusiastic about it and asked where it would be held. I mentioned it would be in Khandpur and asked him if he was definitely coming. He agreed and asked for five minutes to check with someone. I told him to take his time and confirm. After he reassured me, I asked if I could count on him, and he confirmed, thanking me for the invite. I felt glad to have him on board.

So I had two people in for my party,one would confirm and tell,and two were left to ask.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Around five in the evening, after finishing my test, I stepped out of the classroom and found a seat on the sofa near the reception. Kavya was there and came over to ask how the test had gone.

"Yaar, no one's coming for my birthday," I sighed. Kavya had always been my go-to for sharing anything, but even her chances of joining had faded long ago.

"Did you ask Naira?" she prompted.

"Not yet… Only Sanjana and Naira are left to ask," I replied, still unsure whether Sanjana J would be able to make it or if her situation might keep her from coming.

And there I took my first assumption.

If Shaurya agreed to come, it was likely that Sanjana J and Naira would follow suit, given their close friendship and tendency to tease one another. That would mean I wouldn't have to worry about Sanjana J's problem. If she was in, nothing could probably stop Naira from joining.

Kavya mentioned she would be back in a minute just as Shaurya and Arjun entered the academy. They had already submitted their test before me. At first, Shaurya seemed to ignore the topic until I asked Arjun to call him over. I approached Shaurya politely, asking, "Bro, did you ask?"

"Bro, I've got bad news. I have to attend a wedding. I don't want to go with my parents, but they're making me. There's nothing I can do."

As both of them left, I got up and exited the academy, kicking the wall in frustration. "Looks like you're down to two people this year as well," my inner voice commented.

"Naira and Sanjana J are still options," I replied, feeling a bit defensive.

"But you're hesitant to ask her."

"I honestly want both of them there, but I have no idea if Sanjana J will join or not. I'm not sure about the intensity of the problem she might be facing."

"And no Sanjana J means no Naira, right?"

"Exactly."

My phone vibrated twice, and I pulled it out to see it was Lea sharing a reel.

"Bhai, nobody is coming for the birthday. Shaurya said no as well," I texted her.

"Just call some boys and have fun," she replied.

I didn't want just any random people at my party; I wanted my special friends along with my crush. With two of my friends still left to ask, I knew that if one said no, the other likely would too.

My heart raced as I sent the same text to Sanjana J and Naira:

"Are you free on Wednesday?"

"How would it be if I called two more boys along with Naira and Sanjana J?" I asked Lea.

"Having a lot of guys would make it awkward for the girls. Plus, Naira doesn't like ramesh, and he doesn't like her either," Lea replied, repeating herself across three voice messages.

UGHHH… I deleted the texts sent to Sanjana J and Naira for everyone.

"Kya hua??" I opened WhatsApp to see Naira's message.

"Yaar, uska message aaya hai. Bhai, ab toh bol kya bolu mai?????" I still couldn't hear anything from my sixth sense; it remained silent.

"Sorry, I was supposed to send it to someone else.", I bluntly replied to her.

OH GOD, kill me! I regretted sending that.

"Okay," she texted back.

Yaarrr… I rubbed my face with my hands, tears filling my eyes. "Phir se…it happened again…" I kept repeating to myself.

"Bhaiii… tell me, should I ask her? What if she says no? Five people already…"

"It's not about Sanjana. It's about you," I finally heard a voice.

"Her problem is just an excuse for you. You're actually wondering if you're her friend enough to invite her to your birthday. You're concerned that if she's not, she might feel awkward thinking, 'Why is Tanish calling me on his birthday?' You see her as a friend, but does she see you as one too? You always overthink."

I knew from the start that my hesitation to call Sanjana stemmed not from her personal problems, but from my uncertainty about our friendship. I was never too comfortable talking to her.

I went down the staircase, and when I reached the bus stop, I opened Sanjana J's chat again. I could still see the deleted message.

18:26

"Are you free on Wednesday?" My thumbs shook as I finally texted her again once I found a seat.

Going back to Lea's chat, she still couldn't decide if she could make it.

[18:27]

Sanjana 3: Depends. Kya hau?

It was rare to get a reply from Sanjana J within a minute. She had mistyped "hua" as "hau," and seeing her "depends" made me think she might believe I was asking her to meet somewhere.

[18:27]

Me: Mere bday hai.

 Can you and Naira come?

My heart rate was still increasing, enough that I made the error of typing 'mere" instead of 'mera' . I quickly sent the informal invite and switched apps to go back to Lea's chat on Instagram.

And then a notification popped up.

Sanjana 3: haa ofcourse 

Wait what??!!

Was it that simple…??

…

Aye yaar…

Sanjana J,

You made my day,

Now twice in two days.

Overjoyed, I immediately texted Lea to let her know it was all set now. No way Naira would say no after this. Two girls and two boys for my birthday—that was final.

I sent another message to Sanjana:

Me: Naira ko bhi text Kiya hai ...usne dekha nhi u saw first

Sanjana 3: accha okay

 mai permission leke confirm batati hu

I read her reply just as I was getting off the bus, feeling a slight pang of uncertainty. I had thought her "haa ofcourse" meant a definite yes, but now that she mentioned permission, what if her parents said no?

I thought it best to inform her who else would be joining, just in case. I wondered if she might also have issues with Ramesh, like Naira did.

Me; ramesh aur Arjun hai other than u two 

 Bhot log ko pucha but no one agreed sab busy hai

 Is that fine?

Sanjana 3: fine by me

 shaurya ko puchle voh hamesha free hota hai

 if you want

Walking towards the old Mumbai - Pune highway I used speech to text to send another message.

Me: Poochha tha yaar but usko bhi shaadi mein jana and he is like he does not want to join them but he has to

Sanjana 3: oh

Me: Socha tha sabko bulaunga and now m left with u four

Sanjana 3: koi baat nahi mere birthday pe bhi yahi hua tha

Aaaah!! Sanjana's birthday was on the first of September, when this one with a charming face came in a black outfit. I could recall how days before her birthday she asked Naira with her head on the table, and without turning back completely, I could see the pain in her eyes by her low and dizzy voice, which said If she should ask anika, mentioning that she hadn't ever talked to her. And then days later on Rakshabandhan, I saw Arjun calling Sai behind me, and asking her something regarding Sanjana J. to which Sai seemed surprised and had reacted hesitantly, " But mai usko jaanta bhi nahi hu." and hearing this, Arjun tried to convince him saying, " Are it's nothing like that. Sanjana considers you as her friend." And then sammy was the next to whom Arjun lip synced Sanjana's name.

Sitting on the third bench of classroom no 10, I got to hear tons of gossip and had witnessed certain things. But at the end of the day it was never any of my business.

"Hamko kya??..It's her day and she will celebrate it the way she wants.  I'll surely call her when it's my birthday.  Sanjana and Naira both of them have to be there.", I had said to myself then.

"Hamko kya? It's her day; she'll celebrate as she wants. But I'll definitely call her on my birthday—both her and Naira have to be there," I'd told myself back then.

I glanced at my phone again.

Sanjana 3: doesn't matter next year, in college, there'll be better people.

Me: Hahaha... let's just focus on making this year good.

 It would mean a lot if you both could come. PLease try.

Sanjana 3: Yes, I will.

I'd always been like this—emotional and dramatic. And my tendency to find negativity in everything constantly undermined my happiness. As I neared the railway tracks, a fresh worry struck me.

Me: "And what if Naira doesn't come for some reason? She also said she'd have to take permission." (I tagged the message where she mentioned permission.)

"Tum kabhi khush rehna nahi seekh paoge," my inner voice sighed.

Sanjana 3: meri mom aise ladko ke saath toh 

 nahi jane degi mujhe

 agar voh nahi aa saki toh mai bhi nahi 

 aa paungi im really sorry

Oh no… another problem. If Naira declined, things would fall apart.

Me: If she can't, I'll ask Lea to join. She mentioned her chances were slim, so I hadn't included her. But if Naira can't come, I'll ask Lea.

Sanjana 3: okay.

Me: "Will you come if Naira does?"

Sanjana 3: "Haan. Just needs to be a girl—and alive," she joked.

When I got home, I told Maa about the test and then about the girls coming for my birthday. Later that night, Lea messaged me, saying her mom had allowed her to come. Thrilled, I immediately informed Sanjana.

Me: "Lea's mom allowed her—she's coming 100%. Any word from you?"

Coincidentally, Lea had visited the same restaurant that night where I'd host the party three days later. She sent me the buffet menu while I waited for Sanjana's reply.

Lea had seen it all, from my indecision about inviting Sanjana and Naira to the excitement and nervousness of waiting for their responses, as well as Ramesh's and Arjun's confirmations.

"I guess they're all studying. Mai hi bakchodi kar raha hu," I laughed at her.

Lea and I ended up chatting for four hours, from before I messaged Sanjana to after I got her reply.

[11/26, 21:57]

Sanjana 3: kya tu mujhe place and time bata sakta hai please?

Me: Place is Bombay Diner

 Hamare AOS se it's a 10 min walk bas

Since the class was scheduled from 4:30 to 6 on Wednesday, I was unsure whether to plan for lunch or dinner. My mom suggested lunch would be better, so it wouldn't be too late in the evening, and everyone could comfortably head to class afterward. Considering Sanjana liVansh quite far, I asked her what would work best for her.

Sanjana 3: i think lunch is better too

Does it mean she's in?...she had been typing for a minute atLeast and suddenly she stopped typing. 

Me: Hua type karke ?..

One of the many qualities which Sanjana and that spectacled girl had in common was that they both typed for really long and then all I would get was a one line text from them.

Sanjana 3: ha

Me: Toh should I consider u 100% in?..

Sanjana 3: yes

Me: Thank you very much 🙏🏼

Sanjana 3: bas you aren't supposed to say thank you

it's your birthday bhai

Anyone talking to me would easily get tired of my 'thank yous' and 'sorrys'. Only Naira was left. I immediately texted Sanjana hoping she had not gone offline yet.

 Me: And btw Naira se koi update nhi mila

 She asked about venue i told her tabse 

 msg hi nhi dekha

Sanjana 3: koi nahi puchke batadegi

 Me:Kal subah tak bata de...

Sanjana 3: umhm

That umhm from Sanjana made me feel she was wondering how excited I was for my birthday.

With all respect, I asked her if she could ask Naira, expecting she would see Sanjana's text earlier than mine.

 Sanjana 3: goes without saying

 ive already dropped her a message

Me: Thank you very much

Sanjana 3: always

"I cannot wait for wednesday. So so excited.", I texted Lea.

"Haha. It would be a nice one.", she replied.

Naira's text came later that night.

"I am coming"

"You are welcome.", I replied.

'"Now it will be really fun on wednesday."

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Monday, 27th November 2023

Lea… I Am Gonna Kill You!!!

That morning, I would read a paragraph from Magnetic Effects of Current, try to memorize it, then inevitably drift off, thinking about Wednesday. The excitement of having all the friends I'd made that year together for my birthday made my stomach flip with butterflies. I shared the plans with Maa and Papa, letting them know I'd be celebrating with friends.

In English class, we ended up sitting on the floor of the corridor since none of us had completed the film review assigned last class. I'd written one on M.S. Dhoni: The Untold Story, which was enough to get me back into the room.

On my way out, I saw Naira sitting on the sofa. She stood, slinging her bag over one shoulder, her loose hair falling softly around her face. She gave a quick smile, her gaze meeting mine before she turned to walk toward the classroom I'd just left.

Later, I went to Bombay Diners to reserve a table for six and was surprised when Lea didn't pick up my call. At home, I texted everyone with the plan. Lea read my message almost ten hours later and then just left it on seen. I started to feel something was off. Finally, Arjun texted to let me know that Lea wouldn't be able to come because of some problem she was facing. He asked me to keep it quiet, but I'd already told Sanjana.

By then, I was pretty heartbroken. Lea wasn't even responding to me on Instagram.

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Tuesday, 28th November 2023

Lea, I Am Gonna Kill You Twice

"Not everyone's parents allow them to go to parties," Maa commented when I mentioned that Lea wouldn't be joining the next day. It felt like her way of reminding me to be grateful—my parents never denied me anything.

I was at my laptop when, finally, a message came from Lea. She apologized, explaining there'd been an emergency, which immediately got my attention.

"Is it a medical emergency? Did something happen to aunty ji?" I asked.

She replied that everything was fine, adding a smiling emoji. But something felt off. Then a message from Lea came through on Instagram, reiterating that she couldn't make it for my birthday and asking me to only message her there, as her mom was currently using her WhatsApp.

So, I guessed right. Although she wouldn't share the details, Lea asked me to check on her well-being through WhatsApp and even to ask her mom to call me if anything happened. It seemed she wanted her mom to know she had people who genuinely cared for her. Suspicious as it all felt, she assured me she'd explain everything in person.

"Lea, I'm going to kill you," I teased her about it all day.

Meanwhile, I'd already reached out to Kavya, who'd initially declined because of a doctor's appointment. But now that Lea's spot was open, I asked Kayz again. This time, luck was on my side—she said she'd attend after her appointment.

With everyone confirmed, I informed Maa. All six seats were set, and I sent the time and venue to everyone, barely able to contain my excitement for the next day.

It was around half-past ten when my phone unexpectedly rang. My parents had gone to bed, and even Vihaan was asleep.

The caller? Lea.

"Tanish, can you please book a seat for one more person?"

"Oh, Lea, I am going to kill you twice now." I mut\tered to myself.

Apparently, her dad had convinced her to ask if I could add one more seat. Unsure if it was even possible, I told her I'd let her know in the morning.