Chapter 41

☆ ☆ James ☆ ☆

I should have brought her back to the room sooner, but she seemed so determined to make it to the end of the hall that I couldn't bring myself to break her spirit. She pushed herself too far, almost passing out. Luckily, I was right there to help her. Kara was stubborn and used to doing things independently, but she could rely on me, and I needed to remind her of that. 

I was thankful that she was at the hospital and was being waited on hand and foot. I didn't trust anyone at the house with her care, and I would be physically incapable of caring for her during an extended portion of the day. Don't get me wrong, I wanted her to come back home and be with me during the day and night, but I would never forgive myself if something happened to her again. 

I sat in the chair beside her bed and stroked her hair gently as she rested from the physically taxing stroll. Her complexion was already more pink than the ghostly one she was sporting in the hallway. I patted her hand and said, "I'll be right back." Then, I went to the nurses' station to ask for some advice upon her discharge. 

I approached the desk, "Sorry to bother you; I just wanted to see what I needed to have available at home when Kara is discharged to make things easier for her." A younger female nurse looked at me, "Well, aren't you sweet."

She checked a chart from behind the long desk before she said, "She's going to need soft foods: yogurt, cottage cheese, mashed potatoes, eggs, soups, fruits, and vegetables cooked tender." she paused, "You get the point."

I nodded, "What about oxygen or a wheelchair? She got dizzy just walking down the hall; our home has a lot of square footage." She thought momentarily, "I would try to section her off as close to her necessities as possible. You could invest in a walker with a seat if she's struggling to get around." 

I nodded again, "And..." The young nurse interrupted me, "As far as oxygen tanks or other medicine or medical equipment, her doctor will prescribe anything she needs at discharge." I guess I was the one who cut her off. I nodded again, "Thank you so much. I'll get right on it." I left the nurses' station to return to Kara.

The poor thing had exhausted herself and fallen asleep. I used the time to make a grocery list; I would have one of the human servants prepare the meals and freeze them before her return. Then, I looked to Amazon and ordered a walker, a small refrigerator with a freezer, and a microwave. 

I could set them up in our bedroom, and everything would be relatively close for easy access. If Kara needed help during the day, I could assist her in the blacked-out room, preventing myself from unnecessary exposure to the sun. The sun wouldn't kill me instantly, but I'm weaker during the day, and eventually, it would burn me up if I were exposed long enough.

Amazon's two-day shipping was ideal, and I anticipated everything would be ready for her before she arrived. Kara coughed in her sleep and started to stir; I placed my hand in hers, stroking her knuckles, and said, "It's okay, Love, I'm right here." My presence comforted her, and she settled back down.

I noticed that I didn't smell her blood this time when she coughed, and that was another sign that she was recovering. I was right to bring her here, and things like this reaffirmed my decision. When Kara dozed back off, I grabbed the book she was reading on Diablerie from the duffle bag and began reading it from cover to cover. 

If I drained Sylas of his blood and continued drinking, I would also take his soul. His soul would remain inside of me, and my attachment to my humanity would falter for at least a year. With his soul surviving, any of his progenies would live, including me, which was a positive thing for our situation.

The negatives would be becoming detached from my humanity. I'm unsure how I would act or react to situations and if it would alter my feelings for Kara. I knew how Sylas felt about her, and with my inhabiting his soul, I wouldn't want that to influence how I spoke or acted around Kara. 

Another negative mentioned that it would be addictive. My demon would be imbued with great power from devouring another soul, and it would relish doing it again and again. One part of the text stated that even after centuries, the desire to feed on another Cainite's soul would still exist. 

I read further, thoroughly intrigued, and I wanted to know everything before making a decision. If a vampire held the ability to read one's aura, they would be able to tell that I was a traitor to my kind for one year after I had committed the act. Most diablerists were sought out and killed; the most famous one was Vlad the Impaler.

If I only fed from Sylas, we would need to remain in hiding with enough resources to last us for one year to prevent retaliation. But that also meant I would have to find someone trustworthy who knew our secret to watch our daughter while I turned Kara. 

This entire situation was becoming increasingly more complex, and I wanted to make the best decision for the three of us. I knew staying with Sylas was not the answer, but his resources and knowledge would be helpful during Kara's pregnancy and the birth of our daughter. 

Perhaps I could do this after Kara was turned vampire, but I knew being around Sylas or the thought of her bringing our daughter into the world where he was present would be a terrifying reality for her to face. Kara coughed again, and I placed the book down and left my thoughts behind; I wasn't going to bother her with this now. 

She woke up this time, and the coughing was more severe. I offered her her water cup, which she gladly took once the fit was over. She set the water cup down and immediately found her whiteboard and marker. I observed her, and she began to write. As I read her sentence, I interjected, "Don't apologize, Love; you need your rest."

She nodded and reached out for me; I gently embraced her and stroked her back. I enjoyed feeling the rise and fall of her chest, and I closed my eyes for the moment, thankful that she was still here. 

She released her grip from around my neck and started writing on the whiteboard again. "I went to the nurses' station to ask what items you would need at home to make you more comfortable once you are discharged. She nodded and tapped her whiteboard. "I didn't think to get that, but I will.", I responded.

I took out my phone, added a small dry-erase board and markers to my cart and paid, "There, it's done." She smiled and wrote down a thank you. I smiled back, "Of course, Love, and if you think of anything else, please don't hesitate to ask me." 

She pressed her call button and motioned to me. Shortly after, a male nurse came in and asked, "Hungry?" I nodded, "Yes, she is." He turned and said. "I'll be right back." I waited with her for her food to arrive; I had drank before I came after I trained with Sylas. 

He returned with a watery, smoothie, "I hope you like bananas." Kara nodded enthusiastically. I'm sure, at this point, she would eat anything they put in front of her. He looked in my direction, "You can make things like this too when she can go home; it's just vanilla protein powder, fruit, and milk. Just ensure it's well blended, and you'll be fine." 

"Thank you, I will.", I responded and added protein powder to my mental grocery shopping list, which I would have one of the human servants retrieve. As she drank her smoothie, I went to the duffle bag and pulled out one of the books I had brought her. I began reading it aloud to her. 

"Who am I? And how, I wonder, will this story end? The sun...", I continued as she listened. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks was a great read, and I was happy to share it with her. I glanced up intermittently, and she sat there fully enveloped in the story as I read the words on the pages. 

I had gotten a few chapters in when I realized I was also drawn into the reading. I looked up and saw her gazing intently at my face; I noticed that she had written on her whiteboard, "I could listen to you read forever." I smiled sincerely, "I'll continue then." 

I skimmed the page and found my place, picking up where I left off. I read to her until she fell back asleep. It was almost morning, and I needed to return to the house before sunrise. I left her a note on the whiteboard and gently kissed her forehead. 

I put the book and the whiteboard on the bedside and took her phone off the charger, leaving it close to her for when she awoke. I left the room and quietly closed the door. I bid the staff farewell and went on my way, carrying the book on Diablerie in my hand. 

Once I left the hospital grounds, I sprinted home and went to my cold, empty room. It was going to be another restless sleep without her by my side, but I was hopeful that it would be only a few more nights before she could return home.