Chapter 45

Today at the hospital was rough, though I slept during most of the day; I hated having to be awake when they performed another laryngoscopy. The good news was that my swelling was still going down. I missed having James around, and he had left sometime after I fell asleep, so I didn't get to say goodbye. 

I was woken up by the nurses checking on me several times today, and I saw the note he left me on the whiteboard, but it only made me miss him more. It read, "I love you x ∞." He had left the novel sitting with the whiteboard and my cell phone. I couldn't bring myself to read it; I would rather listen to him read it aloud again, so I skimmed through the book and marked the page I remembered before falling asleep.

When I awoke this most recent time, I pressed the call button. I knew James wouldn't come until after he appeased Sylas, had done his training, and feed, so I might as well take the time to eat before he got here. I wrote on my whiteboard, "Dinner, please." The nurse came in shortly after and nodded when she read my note. She brought me another banana smoothie.

I was thankful for them. They actually gave me a sense of fullness as opposed to the tepid broth I was allowed to drink for the first day. I wished the smoothie was chilled; at least then, it would taste better, but they didn't want me to have anything too hot or cold.

I turned the television on while I waited for James to come. Flipping through the channels, I stopped on reruns of The Golden Girls. It was an older show about four retired women living together in Miami. Their witty banter kept me entertained for a few hours, and I had to try hard not to laugh since I was still resting my vocal cords.

After each episode, I looked up at the clock on the wall to see when James might arrive. It was nearly 10:00 p.m., over two hours since he woke up, so I assumed he would come around 11:00 p.m. I watched one more episode of The Golden Girls before deciding to freshen up. 

I went to my bathroom after removing my nasal cannula. Walking short distances wasn't nearly as tricky anymore, especially after I was able to push myself to walk down the long hall yesterday. I had accomplished more than what the staff would have initially anticipated upon my arrival.

After using the restroom, I washed my hands and then my face. I looked at the bruising around my throat; dark purples, blues, and blacks adorned my throat. The black bruising was specifically from Sylas' magic blood when he noosed it around my throat. The blues and purples were from his hand when he picked me up by the throat and tried to squeeze the life out of me. 

If my wolf and I had been in sync, I would have probably healed even faster, not as fast as James could heal. Even when I was in the pack house riddled with the flu or a cold, none of the other members ever got sick. I knew it had to be because of their wolves, and their scrapes and bruises were healed in half the time it took for me to heal.

I crawled back into the hospital bed and put my nasal cannula back on; I caught the last half of the episode and turned the television off in anticipation of James' arrival. He was a little later than I guessed, but I understood why. I didn't want to anger Sylas anymore, so anything that James could do to get us back in his good graces was fine with me.

I took the whiteboard and wrote, "I've missed you, James. Good news: My swelling is going down, and tomorrow, I get to try yogurt and mashed potatoes. If I can swallow them without difficulty, Dr. Lex said I could go home at the 72-hour mark. I couldn't wait to eat foods at warm and cold temperatures, and I was crossing my fingers that I would get home. 

As lovely as the staff here was, I just wanted to be in my own space, in my own bed, at home with James. I couldn't wait to be with him 24/7 again; he had been the only positive, consistent person in my life, and I couldn't wait for these hardships to be in our past so we could move forward with our future, our infinity.

James startled me, rushing into the room. "I'm Sorry I'm so late," he said. I held up the board for him to read before erasing my message and responding to his statement, "It's okay. I know you had to train with Sylas and feed." He responded to my first message, "I miss you more than you know." He kissed my forehead before sitting at my bedside.

He continued, "I'm glad the swelling is improving, although I feel your bruising has worsened." He paused and grabbed my hands before gazing into my eyes, "I want nothing more than for you to come home, but take it slow and don't push yourself. If you need more time in here, we'll do what is best for you."

I took one of my hands back to write on the dry-erase board, "Is everything okay with Sylas?" James nodded and said, "Yes, we've come to an understanding. I will continue to train with him and drink from whomever he decides until this whole thing blows over, and in return, he won't come near you again."

He sighed, "I know I promised that I wouldn't feed from women anymore, but this was the only way to keep you safe." He paused briefly, "At least until we figure out what we're going to do once our blood bond is complete. I saw the book you were reading on Diablerie. It has some pros and cons." 

I nodded my head for him to continue. "I was going to talk to you about it more when we got home.", he said. I cocked my head, confused as to why we couldn't talk about here; it was probably safe to talk about things here than at the house with Sylas there. James stood and walked over to the door, peeking his head out before shutting it.

He returned to the bedside, sat down, and started whispering, "Pros: I would survive, and Sylas would effectively die; I would also become stronger and better able to defend you. Cons: Sylas' soul would remain within me, and some of his mannerisms may come to the surface and affect my actions; I would become detached from my humanity, and my aura would change, telling other vampires that I was a traitor to our kind, for a year." 

He sighed, "The act itself is supposed to be addictive, and I would have strong impulses to do it again. Every time that I drained another vampire and took on his soul, I would sink further into the darkness, losing more of my humanity each time, and more time would be added onto my sentence, so to speak; the others would hunt us down, and there is a strong possibility that we would be assassinated." 

I grabbed his cheeks, lifted his face to meet my gaze, and kissed his forehead to tell him everything would be okay. My life had been hard enough already, and I refused to let my future follow suit. James paused for a long time, just returning my gaze. A knock at the door interrupted our moment.

A nurse poked her head in, "I'm just getting vitals for my rounds, then I'll give y'all some more privacy." She took my chart and wrote down my vitals. Before she left us again, she asked, "Do you need anything?" I gave her a thumbs-up, signaling that I was all good. She closed the door to my room again.

I stroked James' cheek gently, and he continued speaking, "If I feed from Sylas and take his soul, we would need to disappear and have enough resources to get us through for a year. If we are going to do this, we would have to wait until our daughter was born and I turned you." I nodded and grabbed the whiteboard, "Whatever you think is best, I trust you."

James cupped my hands and rested his forehead on them; I knew he was stressed out and worrying about the best way to handle things, but I trusted his decision. This put him at risk even more so than me, and if we found something better, we could always take an alternate route. 

Planning to get away from Sylas after our daughter was born and I was turned was firmly becoming the best decision; it gave us more time to figure things out, plan, and prepare. I had a strange feeling in my gut, like something terrible was going to happen, but I quieted it, not wanting to add to the stressors James was feeling.